loneliness
Online Dating Is Seldom The Problem
How does one find that everlasting love so many of us seek? This is the big question. In today’s era of social media and online dating, romance is so very different from the old days, when one would more often meet someone through friends and relatives, or at work. I am not saying that oes not happen anymore, but chances are slim in a new era where more of us are working from home and studies reveal that more than half of adults are experiencing loneliness.
I believe nowadays most people are actually scared to enter the dating scene. Not only does it take one out of your comfort zone, but we have all heard horror stories of people who tried online dating and now feel they will never want to date again. Some people are also adamant that online dating simply does not work.
The truth is quite the opposite however, when one looks at research statistics. For example, in a 2019 study found that meeting online has become the most popular way for couples to connect in the United States.
A 2021 study estimated that about 323 million people worldwide were using dating apps and matchmaking sites to meet new people. A recent survey found that about one in every three people who use these platforms found someone to have a long-term relationship with, and at least 13% of online daters eventually get engaged or married because of using these platforms.
In my experience the dating apps and websites are not the reason why some people fail to meet the right person or have bad experiences with online dating. I have seen time and again in readings I do for clients all over the world that the key elements for dating success are self-love, self-worth, mental health and spiritual awareness.
Stay Spiritually Uplifted This Winter Holiday Season
For some people, the approach of winter is a fantastic time of the year. They love to walk amongst the golden autumn leaves, breathing in the crisp air that enlivens the soul, while looking forward to the festive holiday season.
For others, the holiday season is a time of fear and dread. It is for some that time of the year when they feel more bored, lonely, depressed and lacking in enthusiasm. I used to be one of those people. I could not wait for it all to be over, so the brighter days of spring could arrive. But these days I have a very different outlook. I have learned ways to lift my spirits during this time of the year. Yes, winter holiday period does not have to be a ‘dark night of the soul!’
If you are currently also dreading the fast-approaching holiday season, the following self-care strategies can help you turn this time of the year into a period of true joy and upliftment. It will assist you in navigating the winter through to the spring effectively and happily, while maintaining emotional well-being and keeping your spirits high.
Intentions & Goalsetting
It is always great to have something uplifting to look forward to, especially when the nights are cold, long, and lonely. This time of the year is the perfect opportunity to set new goals or personal targets that will add value and excitement to your life. No need to for New Year’s Eve to make your resolutions. Start setting those intentions
Once you have set your goals, begin to meditate on and visualize those intentions. Once you get your intentional energy rolling, the Universe will assist you in manifesting your endeavours by cosmically aligning you to the desired end result.
The Sacred Energy Cord Of Everlasting Love
There is one power far greater than any power in the universe and that is the power of love. No one can break that cord between you and that someone special. Once a love that deep is established, no matter what happens in life, there will always be those feelings tugging at your heart strings and you will always and forever be connected to that person.
We all experience many incarnations, but we don’t keep reincarnating into the same world. We go to different worlds to perfect our Love. It cannot be accomplished in just one lifetime.
When we gravitate to a certain individual it is because we have a sacred energy cord connecting us to that person. It’s like the poles of two magnets – we either repel each other, or we attract each other instantly.
The people that we do not feel a connection with are those that really cannot do much for us by way of our soul growth. They may be great for someone else, but if we do not feel that connection the odds are they will probably waste our time, drain our energy, and even break our heart.
You will not always understand why this happens, but after reading this I hope that clarifies why we have a lack of interest or get negative feelings around certain people. It doesn’t mean they are negative people. They are just not going to help you evolve spiritually. They may be on a lower or a higher frequency than what you need to be around.
Love is the ultimate goal and through perfect, unconditional love between two individuals we experience a true connection with the Light. Through that we can ultimately achieve greatness.
Some Days Are Diamonds
Some days in life stand out as exceptional, memorable and even magical. Personally, I have experienced several such days to date. I can recall each of these enchanted days vividly, because of the way everything seemed to fall into place perfectly, from start to finish. On these days there were amazing synchronicities with people, places, events and circumstances that all came together to create the perfect moment in time. In these moments I felt completely aligned within myself, everyone else around me, as well as the entire Universe.
It’s been a while since I had such an amazing day. The Covid-19 pandemic especially have played a role in this, causing for me a sense of disjointedness and isolation. I made a real effort to get out of the house as much as possible, even having lunch here and there by myself. I even attempted to strike up new friendships, but none of these connections quite gelled or there was a lack of follow-up on either side. I accept that those potential new friendships simply were not meant to be.
It is said that our deepest, longest-lasting friendships are formed earlier on in life. For me this is true, as I remain in touch on a daily basis with friends I left behind a few years ago when leaving South Africa. Some of those individuals have since scattered to various corners of the world, but many of us still stay in touch, even if only to touch base now and again. Then there are also those special friends that I communicate with almost every day, from Bali to South Africa, to South America, and beyond. We are blessed these days to have the internet to be able to do this.
I also formed some online friendships during the height of Covid pandemic through various spiritual and metaphysical groups online, and I have been keeping in touch with some of these acquaintances in other parts of the world.
You Are Never Alone
I receive many calls from clients who are feeling terribly isolated and lonely. And ‘lonely’ does not automatically imply being alone. Even while we may be constantly surrounded by people, one can still feel extremely alone. Having lots of people around does not guarantee meaningful connection or a sense of belonging.
I always remind my clients that if they only consider how much spirit is constantly around us, they will never feel alone again. Tuning into these soul energies around us is a great comfort and can even be a life saver.
Our departed loved ones and our spirit guides are around us all the time, but especially present when we are going through a challenging or painful time. Whether we are aware of their presence, or not, they are there.
Through meditation and other spiritual practices, we can raise our vibration and make it easier for us to feel their presence, and even ‘hear’ them. All interdimensional communication is telepathic. We just need to tune in to a higher vibration to meet them halfway.
Spirit is in a different dimension. Their energy is very fast and ours are very slow. They need to slow their vibration down and we need to raise ours in order to meet in the middle and communicate.
Many years ago, a friend’s father passed. Her dad soon after came to me in a dream. He was giving me several messages he wanted me to relay to her, but I was having a very hard time understanding what he was saying. The messages were coming in too fast. To my shock and surprise her dad then became impatient with me! In fact, he was quite annoyed.
When Relationships Are Not Meant To Be
I have in recent months become particularly aware how many people are increasingly reminiscing about failed past relationships. In some cases, these are relationships that go back many years. Some folks even go as far as stalking their ex-partners on social media!
I believe it is mainly due to the unusual circumstances caused by the pandemic over the past two years, which prevented the possibility of meeting a new people, or going out on dates. It also brought many of us intense life lessons regarding love, connection, belonging, and loneliness.
I see these issues coming up in many readings nowadays and it often doesn´t sit too well with some of my clients, who tend to feel that their ‘love luck is down,’ or that that the universe is somehow ‘punishing’ them. In extreme cases, folks even believe a hex or curse may have been placed on them.
I also find many people are talking about ´what ifs.’ If only they had done things differently, how things might have turned out differently. But perhaps, if things were meant to have worked out differently, it would have? Again, this would fall in line with certain life lessons we came to this world to experience. I believe we have chosen to incarnate into this world at a time when romantic and social relationships often tend to be more fleeting and distant, especially because of digital technology and our rushed modern way of living.
Interestingly, I am also seeing lately more divorcées remarrying their former spouse after spending many years apart, and despite having lived a new life with someone else in the interim. This often drives their children insane after all the heartbreak, drama and grief the divorce had unnecessarily caused the family. Again, a hard lesson, but a life lesson nevertheless for all concerned.
Learning To Truly Be With Yourself
A fellow psychic encouraged me many years ago in a reading to be ‘with myself’ and not just ‘by myself.’ There was a difference she explained, as this was a process of getting to know our own true essence. But being yourself can be an uncomfortable pathway for introspection! It is a lot easier to distract yourself with work, entertainment, chores, socializing and all the other ways we tend to divert our attention away from looking within.
A wise client told me recently that it was during the recent pandemic lockdowns that her journey towards true self-love really began. My clients are often my most important teachers, as they prompt me at times to look deeper into a situation.
She had been going through intense periods of intense reminiscing, especially regarding relationships. Most of her flashbacks related to two significant past relationships which, after investing so much of herself, had not worked out.
One of her partners just didn’t want to commit and was wrapped up in a materialistic obsession of striving to achieve business success. The other, whom she loved very much, left her for another woman.
Ironically, after years of loneliness and looking for ways to fill that void, this ex she whom she used to love so much, recently got back in touch with her. Apparently, he wants to be a part of her life again, once he´s finally sorted out his disastrous relationship with the woman he left her for.
But she now feels she has healed, forgiven him, and truly fallen in love with her own company, and therefore she wouldn’t want him in her space too much, and that any future moments they do spend together will be on her terms.
She has nailed it when it comes to truly being ‘with yourself,’ instead of lonely ´by yourself.’