community
From Fictional Self To Authentic Self
A new concept that seems to be going around a lot lately in the spiritual community is to be your ‘authentic self.’ But what does this really mean? How do you know who your authentic self is? Heck, you may say, “I’m still trying to find out what my life purpose is, never mind who I truly am!”
Well, as a result of our education, our upbringing, our family dynamics, our job, and such, when we are asked the question “who are you,” we resort to answers such as: a mom, a dad, engineer, doctor, janitor. We tend to express our identity by what work we do, what credentials we have, and what society or our community has told us to be. We are bombarded by social, political, environmental and family expectations that can overwhelm us in modern life.
On top of this, the world today seems to be in chaos. There is distrust everywhere, and we have to contend with challenges like identity theft and social peer pressure. Yet, we are now also expected to know our authentic self? “God, help me, I don’t have time to look for that! I have the kids to take care of, work deadlines to keep, dinner and laundry to do, and I urgently need to sign up for an exercise program to reduce my weight!”
It is never ending, you say. Your authentic self is somewhere, you just don’t know where and no time to find it. But that is just the point! All these things we are expected to do are there because of the pressure we put on ourselves. As we look through our colored lenses of self-inflicted expectations and the social pressure we have learned from family or peers, we lose touch with who we really are, and what we truly want.
Left Holding The Bag
One of my clients recently said, “I’m the one left holding the bag.” Have you ever been ‘left holding the bag?’ This is when you are put in a situation where you are unfairly held responsible, because other people fail or refuse to take responsibility.
The expression “left holding the bag” originated in 18th-century Britain, but at the time it referred to a person being caught with stolen goods, while the rest of their criminal gang escape responsibility.
Many of us are left holding the bag at some point in our life. This is especially true for empaths, healers and highly sensitive people. They are often the scapegoat in their family, or the friend who is taken advantage of, or the coworker who has to pick up the pieces when others neglect their duties.
The solution for this is often found in spiritual self-empowerment, inner child healing, energy shielding, or simply the setting of boundaries. These are challenges I often assist clients with.
A client was about to purchase a bed and breakfast establishment with the support of an investor. When the day came to sign the papers, the investor decided it was just too much to deal with at the time. This left my client ‘holding the bag,’ having to find a new investor.
Another client was abandoned by her siblings when their mother’s mental and physical health suddenly began to deteriorate, and she was left to her own devices having to care for her mom with no assstance or support from the rest of the family.
Time Truly Does Heal All
Time truly does heal all. With time most things do get a little easier or less bad than it originally appeared. And most of the things we worry about usually never happen. Time does have a way of making it better, so we can move on and experience other things.
Time doesn’t make it go away, but it does help us to eventually see things in another perspective or from a different angle. It always ends up filling in the blanks.
Time is also a great teacher. In time, we learn a lot from the many challenging situations and experiences we go through. There is no failing. Only learning. Overcoming the setbacks and hurdles that live brings is never easy or without pain, but there is always learning and growth. We especially become more grateful and there is always soul growth.
Some losses and traumas require more time than others. We should never rush our healing. It will happen when it is supposed to happen. The most important self-healing and personal growth is supposed to take longer.
There are many ways time can heal. It can help us heal through taking the time to learn a new sport or art form, or joining a support group or recreational club that connects with others. It is important to keep busy and talk with others who are maybe going through the same thing as you. Through connecting with others, we can heal them, and they can heal us, through just listening and talking.
How To Stay Focused On Your Goals
Staying focused on our personal goals can be challenging in today’s fast-paced world. With constant demands on our time and energy, including many distractions and obstacles, it is easy to lose sight of our dreams and become overwhelmed. Commitments to employers, family, friends, and community sometimes leave us little time to reflect on how changing our lives can serve our highest good. The answer to this is to cultivate the right mindset and lifestyle strategies.
To begin with it is possible to remain focused and achieve success by developing a positive mindset. Positive thoughts and self-empowering beliefs build our mental resilience and help us overcome challenges more easily. It’s also beneficial to cultivate a growth mindset that enables us to view challenges as opportunities for growth and learning, rather than setbacks.
Another critical aspect of remaining focused on our personal goals is having a clear vision of what we want to achieve. Taking the time to set goals that are specific, achievable and measurable creates a clear roadmap for success and staying on track. It’s also essential to break larger goals into smaller, more manageable tasks, which can help us stay motivated and focused.
Most of all it is vital to prioritize both spiritual and personal self-care. Just taking a few minutes daily to realign and renew our energy can reduce stress, improve health and vitality, and enhance our ability to think creatively. Taking care of our physical, emotional, and spiritual needs can help us stay grounded and focused, even in the face of personal challenges. Make some time for regular exercise, prayer, meditation, journaling, outdoor recreation, or whatever endeavor is a source of joy and renewal for you.
The Evolution Of Your Metron
With the rapid expansion of digital communication technology we are increasingly coming into an evolutionary shift of consciousness as it relates to relationships between individuals in the human family.
Let’s first look at social and spiritual structures in relationships. I would like to resurrect for the purpose the Greek word metron (μέτρον). Metron is a unit of measure that we can use to explain our sphere of influence, and also the spiritual gifts and styles that we use to influence this sphere.
Many of us have a limited metron, and consistently manifest together with the same grouping of souls on the planet. We each have a family structure that is related to soul agreements before incarnating on the planet. This is why we sometimes meet a person and have the feeling that we have known them our whole lives. What is happening is that our souls are united in the same metron.
We are all inter-connected with one another. Think of it this way: we have the Earth making up one bustling metron of consciousness, or a single metron with many parts. Then we have our solar system making up a greater metron; then the galaxy encompassing the metron units on an even greater scale; next the universe; then the multiverse; and who knows what else is out there compiling greater and greater complexity together.
Our spiritual or soul experience is very similar. We have a small group of people making up our metron, and then we have societal and social structures that increase this metron moving out to a greater and greater expansive experience, until we have the cosmic or universal consciousness.
Learning To Accept Yourself (Warts And All)
A consistent trend I have noticed doing psychic readings and metaphysical counseling for many years. This trend relates to rejection, and our reaction to being rejected by our human family. It is not natural to abandon or reject loved ones, but in my experience as a pastoral counselor and psychic healer, I have noticed that it is a challenge that many have faced in this life.
Recently, as I was doing a channeling session with one of my clients, this came up and we both had a revelation about our own experiences of rejection. The discussion we had was not only about rejection and how we as humans experience it, but also about how we perceive acceptance. Our experience of rejection comes from only one source, namely our expectation, and also how we resonate with the acceptance we receive from others.
When we are children it is natural for us to allow our parents to be our source. They were the picture of God in our lives, and in ideal situations they were our source of acceptance, providing nurture and stability. Many times, when you see a religious group adopting a vengeful and cruel depiction of the Divine, it stems from a refusal to remove the archetypal depiction from God they experienced with their parents.
Many times, the search for source extends itself outward, and the responsibility of our fulfillment is put on other people or organizations. In some cases, fulfillment is found in substances and can also lead to addictive behaviors. We look to these external ‘sources’ to provide us comfort and satisfaction.
It is natural for us to live in community and relationships, so our endeavors toward fulfillment are often projected outward in our relationships. Unfortunately, since we all have an intrinsic need to identify with and live from Source, we find ourselves continually reaching for fulfillment that we rarely find. This leads to heartache, loss, and broken relationships within the human family.
The Blessing Of True Friendship
Too often we make a self-limiting choices in life based on negative past experiences, which then keeps you from enjoying new, wonderful experiences, meeting new people, or learning a new talent or skill. To truly be free we must allow ourselves to let go and just be. We must remain willing to live an authentic life and selectively make ourselves vulnerable. Replaying the past over and over in your mind is draining and counter-productive.
I normally don’t open myself up easily to new friendships. I work with people all day, so that is how I get much of my social interaction. I love to help people and my clients are pretty much my family. I feel very connected to my regular callers, as they tend to be the most open-hearted and like-minded people. In my personal life I haven’t been so lucky, as many people are just not open to the alternative ideas, lifestyles and beliefs. In fact, some people are completely closed-off and narrow-minded about the mystical and the metaphysical.
I am not alone in this. A 2019 study, for example, revealed that the average American hasn’t made a new friend in five years. The study also found that he average american has three best friend and five reasonably good friends, as well as about eight people they like but do not spend any time with. However, this does not automatically guarantee that these people we consider to be our friends always feel the same way about us. A 2016 study found that this is probably only true for about half of friendships. Yes, only 50 percent of our perceived friendships are actually mutual and reciprocal!
Recently, I took a chance on a new friendship outside my work life, and I am very blessed to say that it reminded me that it’s okay to let the walls down so sometimes, and not to worry about stepping on toes or feeling like you have to walk on egg shells. I guess we just need to be smart about our choices. I have always been drawn to calm, centered, casual people who have a good sense of humor.