toxic thoughts
Work Through The Fear, Obligation And Guilt (FOG)
Reflecting on my life I have found how many of my early life experiences have subconsciously influenced me, mostly due to a lack of awareness that allowed fear, a sense of obligation and guilt to remain hidden.
These hidden influences mostly come from my formative years and became obstacles I had to repeatedly struggle with in my adult life with regards relationships, career, finances, family and community.
Once I discovered these non-empowering beliefs, it was time for me to get out of the FOG (Fear, Obligation, Guilt). In hindsight, several things I was unaware of in my family’s dynamics, were actually ‘seeds’ hidden beneath the surface that in time sprouted into personal challenges and self-sabotage.
Fear
Fear and insecurity are frequent visitors for many of us in all areas of life. I was constantly focused on the negative and worst-case scenarios. This is because our brain is wired this way for the purpose of survival. Much of it also depends on our upbringing. So, we must recognize this and catch ourselves early on, in order to shift our thoughts and emotions in a positive direction.
We must be cognitive of our behaviors and explore where in our life we have learned these negative, fear-based responses. Fear is a natural part of life, but can easily become a ‘whack-a-mole’ of frustration, anxiety, uncertainty and indecision, always showing up at the most inconvenient times.
The Healing Embrace Of Mother Nature
Throughout my life, especially during the most difficult times, the one thing I have always been able to count on is Mother Nature. Gaia, the Great Mother, has always served me well.
I grew up in California, where there is an abundance of water: water falls, creeks, rivers, lakes and the spectacular Pacific Ocean. I had quick and easy access to hiking paths, and other adventures and recreational activities in the great outdoors. In fact, next to dance, hiking was my favorite form of exercise in my teenage years.
When times are difficult, I have always sought out nature. It is so much easier to block out other people’s negativity when all you can see is God’s magnificent creation. It’s divine intent, joy, beauty, harmony, balance, and timelessness.
In the arms of Mother Nature, there is the freedom to tune out all the noise and toxic energy of others…and just hear the voice of Go. It helps you to center yourself, and clear out the negative energy and drama other people sometimes bring into your life.
I find that those of us who live in large cities and urban areas are more likely to get swallowed up by the negative energy of others. We can simply not get away from it in our daily lives. Going back to a home every day, where there is still a lot of radiation and traffic noise, will not let you heal or reenergize.
We all need to take the time to hear our inner voice. No cars, no talking, no noise. Just our own thoughts and inner guidance. We must make time to just hear the voice of spirit within. Otherwise, the voice of the ego that we hear in our head becomes toxic with negative self-talk.
God’s natural world is a temple of healing, a shrine of grace, a sanctuary for the burdened soul. This is why nature must also be protected. By protecting nature, we are protecting God. Mature is a gift to us from Source. It belongs to all of us, including future generations.
How Sticky Notes Can Change Your Life
We live in a world where we are bombarded with negativity every day. Whether it comes from social media or the mainstream news, it’s easy to feel like you’re drowning in a sea of negative information and fear-based messages. And the more we are exposed to all this negative input, the more we internalize it, until it becomes part of our self-talk and general state of mind.
Fortunately, the solution to some of life’s most complex challenges can often be found in the most mundane. Enter the simple sticky note! By writing down simple, positive affirmations or slogans on a bunch of sticky notes, and placing them anywhere you will see them frequently, you can significantly change your inner dialogue from constant negativity and nay-saying to one of possibility, hope and optimism.
Choose simple, short affirmations that resonate with who you are, and what you truly want in life. Whether it’s something like, “I am worthy,” or “Love surrounds me,” or even, “I will get that dream job,” it will inspire you to change the narrative and negative self-talk each time you read one of these short statements out loud.
This technique always reminds me of the famous opening scene of the television cartoon, The Simpsons, with Bart Simpson writing a phrase over and over on the chalkboard. There’s actually some method in the madness of this old-fashioned way of disciplining schoolkids. When our brain repeats a word or phrase over and over again, new neural pathways are created with new associations. Saying something once or twice only, we’re just as likely to forget it. But if it’s something we repeat many times, our brain will literally change over time, and so will our patterns of thought, feeling and action.
It’s been shown that establishing a new habit, or making new behavior automatic, takes on average about two months. Try placing your sticky notes in those places you spend most of your time every day: in your workspace, your car, on the bathroom mirror, the kitchen refrigerator, or on your bedside table. The more you see (and repeat) the words written on them, the more you will start to transform your thinking.