psychology
Multi-Tasking Does Not Cultivate A Quality Life
I’m sure there has been a time in your life when you may have been too active on a hot summer, day without adequately hydrating, or juggling far too many tasks at once without taking a break. While you may have crossed the finish line, or pleased your boss by checking off all the tasks you completed, your sense of well-being was probably rock bottom, and your nerves frazzled. You possibly also questioned whether or not the best version of yourself showed up for life the next day.
Although many of us have found ways to multi-task our hectic lives, research is increasingly showing that effective multi-tasking is in fact a myth. Working on multiple projects at once doesn’t necessarily make us high achievers, or a successful super humans. Multitasking for most individuals merely replaces quality with quantity, and often leaves us feeling overwhelmed and disconnected from our deeper purpose.
As a spiritualist, I make it a practice not to judge how others achieve their everyday objectives and goals. But I do counsel many people who seem to have traded quantity for quality in their lives, and are missing out on the gift of savoring the sweet taste of personal achievement that is purposely focused and uninterrupted.
While old habits are tough to break, each of us has the innate capacity to build new processes within our mind. Psychological tools, such as Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) for example, can be used to re-program the mind to think differently.
Metaphysics and New Thought spirituality also teaches that through positive thinking we can manifest healthier outcomes in all areas of our lives. Many indigenous peoples also have a long tradition of spiritual practices, such as vision quests, dream interpretation, divination, and rituals and ceremonies, to help seekers find their best path.
Spiritual Connections
We need to ask ourselves questions about spiritual connections with other people more frequently. What kind of connection do you really have with the people in your life?
A spiritual connection with someone else is something very special and important for our soul growth. So, how do we know when there is a spiritual connection?
Attraction – You feel an immediate, intense attraction to them and really do not understand why.
Familiarity – You feel at home or comfortable with the person. You feel like you have known them forever. This feeling is usually mutual. You just met and cannot explain why you feel this way, but you just do.
Indescribable – When meeting someone you are beyond words. You have this feeling that your connection with them is profound and indescribable. Sometimes it is overwhelming. You can’t tell if it is right or wrong, good or bad. You don’t understand what it means, you just know it somehow feels significant.
Fascination – You think about them often, having random thoughts of them throughout your day. They linger in your mind constantly. You may even feel somewhat obsessed with them.
Happiness – You instantly smile when thinking about them. You feel care free and happy. Having them around changes your mood for the better.
Showing Up When Spirit Calls
Many years ago, while working in a clinical practice, I was called to lead a group of women who were survivors of domestic abuse. At that time, my role within the organization was strictly administrative. I had no clinical experience and quite frankly had serious misgivings about how well these women would be served through our agency’s poorly-funded, piecemeal program with severe limitations.
As we were on the verge of losing our contract altogether, the executive director burst into my office one morning and announced that I would be the interim director of the domestic violence program, in order to save the contract. I sat motionless, with a look of deep concern on my face.
Before I could respond verbally, my executive director began reviewing a county contract that outlined the qualifications of the new program director. As she flipped through the pages of the lengthy contract, my hope was that somewhere in bold writing there might be a job description that required a clinical background in Psychology or Social Work, but this was not the case.
I recall that same day reaching out to my dear friend and confidant, a fellow psychic and spiritual counselor who always helped me find clarity, especially when I felt completely lost in a situation. While my friend’s words were comforting and reassuring, she also shocked me out of my comfort zone. I wanted to hear from her an easy way to get out of my new job assignment, but she announced that I had a calling to help a group of women whose lives desperately needed to be changed.
Love, Joy And Happiness After Years Of Hardship
I have a client who used to be extremely depressed. I recommend she speak to a therapist or counselor instead, because I felt that is exactly what she needed at the time. She had been harboring a lot of bitterness, grief, sadness, anger and other toxic negative emotions for a very long time. She needed professional help that I felt was beyond my scope of expertise.
So, she found a therapist and went for counseling, but months later she told me that the only thing she felt she accomplished was her spending thousands of dollars on help she never really received. She had still found no relief from her deep distress.
She had been bitter for a long time. While raising her children and attending church, her husband would cheat on her. She also worked the entire time the children were young, until they graduated. Meanwhile, he would leave on ‘business trips’ to go and gamble away their hard-earned livelihood, and spend time with other women. Then one day, he met someone he wanted to marry. So, they divorced and he moved far away to be with his new wife. He was a narcissist.
Her sadness and grief was also due to the loss of her mother, whom she had taken care of for 20 years after her father passed. She sacrificed a lot to dedicate herself to serving her mother’s needs. During this time she had no notion of self-care. She suffered on all levels: emotionally, physically, spiritually. She even gave up going to church. She was slowly dying inside and didn’t even know who she was anymore.
Put Your Phone Down, And Start Living!
I was blessed to be born before the arrival of the Internet and smart phone technology. It was a time when kids were playing outside all day, and we often did not want to go home, because we were having too much fun. It was a time when people still connected with each other in person, and on a deeper level. It was a time when we lived life in a much simpler way.
Since then the rise of digital technology and the Internet seemed like it happened overnight, and everyone was instantly hooked, including myself! It was exciting, because information was now just a click away. Communication was faster and easier, and you could ‘connect’ with just about anyone, anywhere, anytime.
But then social media and smart phones came along, and before we realized what hit us, it began to gradually cripple our ability to focus, to truly connect, to be present in the moment, and to be in touch with our spiritual nature. To make matters worse, we started comparing our lives to others: friends, enemies and idols… only to diminish our sense of self-worth.
Last weekend, I was playing the board game Monopoly with my teenage son and his best friend. His friend seemed unable to put his phone down and pay attention to the game. I asked him why, and he said it was because he was addicted to knowing what others were doing, and that he didn’t want to feel “left out.”
Is Time Speeding Up, Or Are We Being Prepared?
I’ve been saying for years that I feel as though time is speeding up. I remember, as a very young child, excited to go on an outing with my grandparents, feeling as though that ‘magic hour’ when we would be leaving, would never arrive.
I also remember my grandmother telling me, “Don’t be in any hurry to grow up. Time speeds up as you get older. Before you know it, years will fly by like weeks.” I’ve always remembered her words and I try to take her advice into consideration when contemplating the idea of time literally speeding up.
But, I still can’t wrap my head around what feels to me as ‘lost time.’ I feel as though I am somehow being cheated out of my time here on Earth.
I look around and I see people my age who don’t appear to look in their mid 40’s. And, when looking at old photos of my parents, and how much older they looked at my age. I have to wonder if time is really speeding up and causing us not to age as rapidly as our parents did? But, in reality the appearance of aging could be due to environmental factors. Our lives may not be anywhere near as difficult as our forefathers lives were.
Your Life Path Number
When it comes to our birthdays, we may think of our zodiac sign first, but did you know numerology is just as insightful? Each of us has a Life Path number which can be easily determined by our date of birth.
For example, the Life Path number for someone born on January 14, 1974 is 9. January is the first month of the year (1). The 14th reduces to 5 (1+4). The year 1974 reduces to 3 (1+9+7+4=21; 2+1=3). When we add each of these together, we get 9 (1+5+3).
Everyone has a Life Path number between 1 and 9. Life Path 1 people are, not surprisingly, natural leaders and go-getters. Their 2 counterparts are usually peacemakers and diplomats, as in the phrase, “I am second.” A 3 person is usually creative and good at connecting with others, while 4’s are pragmatic problem-solvers. If you have a 5 Life Path, you are a compassionate person determined to better the world. Those born under 6 tend to be domestic and make good parents, while 7 people are known for being investigative and quick minds. If you have an 8 as your life path, you are ambitious and must guard against being a workaholic. And those under 9 are known for their compassion and warmth.