fear
Accepting The End Of A Relationship
Don’t resist change, even in love. It is always best to accept things when a relationship ends. Sometimes a door needs to be closed in order for another door to open down the road.
I have seen this in my own personal relationships and those of many of my clients and friends. If it’s meant to be and there is true, everlasting love between two souls, there can never be a permanent goodbye. Rest assured, if you are meant to be with your beloved, they will come back to you, or you will go back to them.
At some point we all experience the pain of saying goodbye to someone we love very much. Experiencing relationship break-up tends to turn our lives upside down. This is especially true when we have to close the door on someone we love very much when we don’t really want the relationship to end.
But if we do it in a way that leaves the door open for them to come back, then maybe we can have a new beginning later. We just have to do the very hard thing of saying goodbye and taking a step back for now. If we refuse to accept that a relationship is over, we only prolong the pain and dysfunction, and make it difficult to heal and grow from the issues that caused it to fail in the first place.
Instead, we should focus on ourselves and our own needs for a while. When we are in a relationship that is not working, it can be easy to neglect our own needs and issues. Accepting the end of a relationship allows us to focus on our own healing and well-being. No matter how hard we try to hold on, it will only make it more difficult to bring healing to the aspects of the relationship failure that need healing.
How To Be More Present In Your Life
We often hear the advice that ‘being present’ is an important spiritual practice to master on our journey through life. Being present with ourselves and in the moment. I like to think of it as being with yourself wherever you go and whatever you do. This is certainly true, but what exactly does it mean? And with all the busyness of life and keeping up with our daily responsibilities, how do you become more present in your life?
Firstly, cultivating ‘presence’ requires time management and effective planning. It is important to organise the responsibilities of our lives in a manageable way. Otherwise, we find ourselves in a constant state of worry and stress, having to manage daily demands ‘on the fly’. And this is a sure way to lose our presence.
Planning ahead may seem like the opposite of being ‘in the moment’, but it is actually essential. When we are busy making plans for the coming week, thinking about what we need to prepare for and making decisions about how to organise our time and spend our energy, we don’t think much about the ‘present moment.’ But this is something we need to do in order to then be more present in our daily lives. It is key to cultivating presence.
Keep Seeking The Light Beyond The Darkness
I do a trivia quiz almost every day to keep my mind stimulated and strong. This morning the question was: What is achluophobia? Well, it is the fear of the dark, which is a somewhat reasonable phobia since we instinctively want to be able to see what is going on around us in order to survive. However, as I thought about it more, I realized that we also have the same need to ‘see the light’ on a spiritual level.
The darkness of evil, hatred and despair is always out there, lurking in the background, trying to sneak into our hearts and minds and take over. There is a spiritual war going on in our hearts and minds every day.
As we are increasingly drawn into the darkness, we are also increasingly hit with setbacks, hurdles, heartaches, and hardships. Then, in our entitlement and arrogance, we wonder why God, Source, Spirit, the Divine, is not doing anything to help us? Why have we been abandoned? Is there even a higher, divine power that can come to our aid?
It is amazing how many people at one time or another indulge in the thought, the notion that the very God, Source, Spirit, Divine, Universe that guides, protects and provides for us, actually takes the time to also hate, punish or destroy us.
All we have to do is observe the miracle of nature to know that this is not true. Every little miracle of nature, every tree and plant, every stone, every living being has a reason and a purpose to exist in the wonderful mechanics of our planet.
Rebuild Your Trust In A Benevolent Universe
Have you ever watched a child learn to ride a bicycle? There is a certain excitement associated with this rite of passage as youngsters wholeheartedly embrace the possibility of being able to soon ride down the street without help.
The first time they get on a bike, they have no prior knowledge or experience to compare it to. Nevertheless, it is usually easy for most children to accept that they will be able to accomplish this task.
Most kids, in their innocence, focus on the joy, freedom and fulfillment of riding a bike rather than worrying about not being able to do it, let alone falling and getting hurt. They also don’t think in terms of good or bad ‘luck’ determining their ultimate success, nor do they imagine that riding a bike is a special gift, talent or privilege reserved only for certain people.
Perhaps this self-belief stems in part from an encouraging parent who has confidently assured the young person that they will indeed be able to achieve this skill. Perhaps the child has seen other children learn to do it and therefore trusts that they can do it, too.
The thing about children is not so much that they blindly or foolishly trust, but simply that, unlike most adults, they have not yet learned to distrust. Being able to trust as an adult is therefore not so much a matter of learning to trust, but of regaining the ability to trust that we once had, until we lost some or all of it through trauma, disappointment, betrayal, or hardship.