acceptance
You Don’t Have To Be Perfect
Whenever we are focused on a task at hand, whether it is career, business or personal, we tend to focus on our mistakes and worry about what we may be doing wrong. Will it meet expectations? Are we good enough? The loud voice of perfectionism in our ego mind is often saying, “You did not do it right, you did not do enough…you are not enough.”
But constantly striving for perfection and beating ourselves up when we cannot meet those impossible expectations, sabotages the very thing we are trying to achieve. It impacts every part of our lives and also affects people around us, including our friends, coworkers, family and life partners.
Setting unrealistic standards for ourselves and others leaves us constantly feeling disappointed in ourselves and let down by others, over and over again. The perfectionism we are striving for becomes front and center in our in relationships, our careers, our health and our overall well-being. The result is anxiety, low self-esteem, fear of failure, depression, and broken relationships.
Failed perfectionism leads us to constantly measuring our worth against others, and vulnerable to the opinions, criticisms, and judgments of others. Perfectionists are very concerned about what others will think or say.
Striving for perfection is also about a need for control, so that our lives and those we care about will work out perfectly as we had planned. But contrary to popular belief, perfectionism does not lead to lasting success and fulfillment.
How To Access Universal Flow
In the spiritual community it is often said that one must aim to constantly be in ‘universal flow,’ but what does it actually mean? And how can one achieve this state of ‘flow?’
If you personally haven’t experienced this, I can assure you it truly is as amazing as you may have heard it described. It is a blessed state in which opportunities flow in effortlessly, and joy, connection and well-being abound.
Being in flow gives us access to wisdom and understanding in a way we just don’t see when we aren’t riding that divine wave. It feels like one is prepared for absolutely anything in life!
But what exactly is universal flow, and how can you tap into it?
‘Universal flow’ means you are tapped into the divine guidance that is always available to us, and you are in alignment with your path, purpose, and the divine flow of the creative life force. It means that you are tapped into this flow of sacred energy and allowing it to guide your choices and your perception. It is a surrender to the benevolent will of God, Source, Spirit, the Divine, and coming into alignment with to the limitless flow of abundance and well-being in the Universe.
In this state of allowing, the right people, opportunities, and resources can flow into your life, for you to access and make use of as needed. It can provide you with everything you need to manifest your dreams and fulfill your purpose.
Waiting On The World To Change
Waiting On The World To Change is not just a great John Mayer song, it is also a devastating pattern in many people’s lives. Too often people are waiting for some outside force to come along and bring them the happiness and fulfillment they want. Living one’s life ‘on hold’ in this way can become a incapacitating habit that will only serve to make us eternally stuck and unhappy.
When we are waiting for a change from someone or something other than ourselves, we are not taking control of our own power. More importantly, we are also not taking personal responsibility for our God-given free will choices, nor are we holding ourselves accountable for our own actions (or inaction).
We all have that friend who is always saying how great her relationship would be ‘if only’ her partner would change a certain habit, or do something differently. Or that colleague who never gets the promotion, while she keeps blaming others as to why she is constantly overlooked. Or the diseased relative who ‘cannot’ improve her health and wellness, because making better lifestyle choices just doesn’t fit into her busy work schedule and social life.
The worst one for me is people waiting for that amazing soulmate relationship to finally materialize, when they are not making even the least bit of effort to put themselves out there and meet new people.
Some people spend a lot of time constantly setting new goals or intentions, making wish lists, creating vision boards, or doing visualizations or rituals, to manifest the changes they want to see in their lives. But what if the thing they need to change is actually themselves?
Control Is The Opposite of Love
I have learned that communication glitches and other side-effects of a Mercury retrograde can actually offer us valuable life lessons if we choose to pay attention.
For example, during the recent retrograde my daughter suffered a migraine on a day she was supposed to visit me. I decided not to pick her up, because she said she was not feeling strong enough. She is prediabetic and I pray and light candles for her daily.
So, I texted her a get-well soon message along with an animated chicken soup meme. Feeling worried about her, I checked in periodically throughout the day see if she had received her ‘virtual chicken soup.’ But the message read receipt only showed ‘delivered.’ No read receipt.
The next day, the text message suddenly showed it had been ‘read,’ but it had the previous afternoon’s timestamp? I noticed a similar phenomenon when co-parenting communication with my daughter’s father also suddenly failed repeatedly and produced delayed read receipts.
Instead of becoming frustrated about it, I contemplated the matter and came to an enlightening conclusion. Spirit clearly said to me, “The need for control is the opposite of love’s vibration.”
This is so very true. Controlling energy is toxic energy. It was a gentle reminder that I need to keep working on releasing my desire to try and be in perfect control of everything in my life at all times.
When we constantly feel the need to control every aspect of our day, rather than letting the energies of universal love, joy and abundance flow freely in our life, we block our blessings and personal growth.
How To Truly Let Them Go
When a relationship ends, we may find it very difficult to let go of the other person, especially when they have been the one who chose to leave. Friends and clients have often asked me this question. How do I forget him? How do I stop thinking about her? I have asked myself this a few times in my own life too.
My psychic observation has been that consciously trying to forget someone for whom we have strong feelings of love and affection will only serve to make it worse. ‘Forgetting’ someone we love is unnatural and goes against our grain. It only creates resistance that further increases tension and intensifies our pain.
So, it is usually better, but not easier, to channel or process our feelings of love and affection for another soul, in a more constructive, liberating way. This includes honoring the freedom of every soul’s path in relationship with God, Source, Spirit, the Divine.
It is essential to let our feelings flow, because emotions are energy in motion (e-motion). The energy will move through and in time lessen, like storm clouds passing through the sky, until the sun is visible to the eyes again.
Keeping the heart open is an important part of this process. The vision God gives me to describe this is of being in your home, going about your own life within it, with all your attention focused on the activities, surroundings, and experiences of the moment, and simply being present with what you have and what is, while the front door remains open in the background.
Getting The Answer When Spirit Speaks
People have told me over the years that they never hear spirit, or that their guides do not speak to them at all. This is simply not true. Spirit speaks to all of us daily. Spirit is never the problem; we are! It is up to us to be more aware, to pay attention and listen, and then to follow the guidance, heed the warnings, or implement the answers.
In my experience, this is usually due to a lack of spiritual awareness, and sometimes also based in fear. Our spirit guides and angels are not to be feared. They are there to bring you to a place of receiving clarity on what you should be doing with your life and what steps to take to make the right decisions or choices as you move forward.
Another problem I find is the tendency of some people to ask spirit a question and when they do not like the answer, to continue asking the same question, repeatedly, hoping that spirit will eventually give them the answer they want…and not the truth intended for their highest good.
This happens especially with clients who consult with numerous psychics. They will keep calling different readers, hoping to eventually find someone who will give them the answer they are hoping to hear. Or they will repeat the same question during a reading by asking it in different ways, in the hopes of changing the outcome of the reading.
In these cases, the actual question is usually not really the issue at hand. What more often truly matters is why there is the need to ask the same thing over and over again? Where is the obsession coming from? What is causing this persistent state of denial and self-delusion? Only once the person’s true motivation is unraveled and addressed, will they be able to accept the truth and move forward.
May Our Souls Continue To Rejoice
We have indeed so much to be grateful for today. May the joys and rememberances of this post-pandemic holiday season keep our hearts alive with hope, faith and gratitude throughout the coming year.
May our souls continue to rejoice with the miracles of joy, hope, faith and love of the Christmas of the Christians; Yule of the Pagans; Candle-mas of the Celts; Hanukkah of the Hebrews; Eid ul-Fitr of Islam; Pan-African festival of Kwanzaa; and Hindu celebration of Diwali.
In the old days, before the reformers came, the Old Oak King conquered the Holly King every year around this time. Mother Earth would then sleep under a white blanket of snow, the quiet ice of still waters, everything waiting for the Summer Solstice, when the Holly King would win the battle in turn.
We face the same battles of duality in our own lives. At times we are happily progressing along our own path, expanding, learning, growing spiritually, when suddenly an impasse comes along that requires us to become still, to be patient, to wait, to rest, to contemplate, to accept. We are seldom thankful, as we would prefer to continue rushing towards our goals, our dreams, our desires. We grumble, we complain, we resist, we fight the wait, and then we wonder why we are waiting so long.
Sometimes we are meant to just take the time to rest, draw strength, find ourselves. The true lesson and miracle of this season is the wait, the peace, the rest, until we once again see our dreams more clearly.