shadow self
Our Deepest Wound Can Become Our Greatest Power
Mercury retrograde thankfully ends today! Astrologers predicted this retrograde would allow us the freedom to purify our lives by releasing people, circumstances, and behaviors that are holding us back or no longer serve us. It certainly kicked up a lot of old wounds and baggage for many of my clients, and also for myself.
This was probably due to a number of reasons, including Uranus and Venus both being retrograde at the same time, and the combination of Mercury retrograde occurring along with a Full Moon in Cancer on January 17th. Many people I did readings for during this astrological period were all dealing with painful memories, unhealed traumas, and intense emotions.
At one point I decided to take a break myself, to create some space and allow my own unresolved emotion to surface. Every time I found becoming unnecessarily defensive, or attempting to place blame on others, I immediately pivoted my attention back to myself and ventured within – to where the origination of this pain truly stemmed from.
I especially found my thoughts were constantly going to my parents and particularly to my mother. My maternal grandmother passed away when my mom was only 13 years old. This has been a recurring theme throughout my life, with me wondering if this had anything to do with my mom always being so hard on me? I, fact, it became the official ‘excuse’ for our difficult relationship.
My recent retrograde self-exploration made me realize that no matter how hard my brain might try to rationalize this old pain, my body still would not accept it. For the first time in all these years, I finally allowed myself to go inside this wound, to examine my inner truth. I had a conversation with this old wound and allowed it to speak to me directly.
The What-ifs That Go Bump In The Night
When I grow up, I want to be a lightworker! Okay, so I’ve grown up and I’ve been a psychic and healer for many years. The question now is, how do I take back, or erase from my mind’s eye all that I’ve seen? ‘Wounded healer, heal thyself’ is a very old truth, which still holds merit after many years of being bandied about.
Perhaps today it is more true than ever. In today’s world we are dealing with much more fear and what-ifs than ever before in our lifetime. Someone, or something, somewhere – the news media for one – is always preying on our fears. Panic and perpetual fear is the name of the game for many in our world these days.
Psychics, astrologers, mediums, diviners, and energy healers, among other, are known by the universal term ‘lightworkers.’ This is ironic, considering we often have to delve into the darkest fears of most people head-first, in order to help our fellow humans come to some form of clarity, healing or conclusion.
And what happens when the lightworker’s battery begins to fade from overuse and not enough recharging? Can helping other people face their fears make our own fears and limiting beliefs become larger by proxy, thus causing our own light to dim?
Lightworkers are born healers and teachers. At our core we want to help everyone. We know that inner peace comes from within. However, some of our clients are open to guidance, while others are not. Maybe I only speak for myself as a healer, but those who refuse guidance often haunt me far longer than those who embrace it. They are the ones who keep me up at night. They are the ones who make me doubt and question what I know in my heart to be true, based on my ability to listen to a Higher Power and relay messages spirit wants to share.
Face your fears, I tell myself. Even as a wounded healer, I must continue to face my self-doubt and remember to look upon the bright side: the countless souls whose lives I have been blessed to change and help make into something brighter, better and more fulfilling.
Embracing The Shadow
When I first began to intentionally and consciously walk a spiritual path, I remember doing so because it just felt so right. Every step I took toward ‘enlightenment’ in this lifetime seemed to bring more brightness into my life, and so many more blessings.
In those early days I was really rolling! I was expecting this to be an easy ride – all joy and light and love. It was wonderful.
What I hadn’t expected was the inevitable emergence of my shadow through as a result of all my spiritual work. And it was not something I was going to be comfortable with – admitting I had places of darkness within me, unloved aspects of myself, disowned pieces of my soul which had been abandoned and in such pain.
Through a series of, what seemed like, unfortunate events, I was given opportunities to face my shadow side. Challenges in relationships with friends and loved ones arose. I couldn’t understand it at first, and felt very alone and misunderstood. I was shifting the blame for this onto the people around me, instead of going inward.
Going inward, into the light, was totally okay, but going inward into the darkness was terrifying. My ego-self raised every defense to keep me from going there. Eventually, I could avoid it no longer.
My life at this point had endured tremendous change in the course of only a few years- so much so, that the entire landscape of my existence and the people in it were now different. While many of the changes were positive, the magnitude of the differences between my ‘old life’ and my ‘new life’ forced me into robust self-reflection.
Where did I want to go with my life? What did I want to do? And who was I going to be? I must admit, these were heavy questions, and I absolutely felt the weight of them. In addition, I was healing from a personal loss, and that was taking more time than I wanted it to.
My ‘aha moment’ came when I was lamenting one day about my relationship with my partner. I had identified that I wanted a deeper level of connection, but felt that he was unwilling to meet me there.
The Pursuit Of Spiritual Healing
Energy healing can takes many forms: physical healing of the body; emotional healing of the heart, mental healing, and soul healing. But ultimately the best form of spiritual healing is holistic healing of the body, heart, mind, and soul.
The nature of a healing session will usually be determined by the healer. The individual may suggest the type of healing they wish to receive, but reputable healers will typically suggest or recommend the best strategy, depending on what they see is most needed. A good healer will assess the situation and determine the best way to proceed with the healing, and which methods to use.
There are basically three categories of energy or spiritual healing: hands-on, hands-free and distance healing. The methods may include chakra alignment, Reiki, meditation, prayer, visualization, acupuncture, psychic reading and intuitive guidance, bodywork, touch therapies, breathwork, pranic healing, shamanic rituals, soul retrieval and soul rescue, shadow work, inner child healing, and past life regression, to name but a few.
Whatever method or technique we choose, one needs to be certain it is suitable for the individual. No single path leads everyone through the process of healing. We need to be sure that we start them on a path along which we they will be able to continue and complete. It does help if the individual that we are working on is open to the process. As healers we must ensure that our clients are in the right head space, and openness is key to having the best from the healing process.
October 2019 Weekly Astro Forecasts
October 7 – 13
We’ll be in the shadows of a waxing Full Moon this week, so be on the alert for minor accidents, computer glitches and surprising messages from people in your past.
We’ll be under the influence of an Aquarius Moon on Monday and Tuesday, which means there’s a chance we’ll be changing direction at a moment’s notice.
New ideas flow in, but we’ll have to take care not to blurt out everything we know or think now. Better to keep things to ourselves for another week or so.
Venus will move into Scorpio on Tuesday, kicking off a month-long passion for the supernatural, the mystical and the unexplained. It will also turn our thoughts to our shadow sides or deeper selves, unearthing memories or experiences that it’s time to look at and clear out, as the transformational energy of Scorpio is so famous for.
The rest of the week takes a softer tone as the Moon glides through Pisces, gearing us toward our spiritual sides and helping us look at the bigger picture of life. The weekend is ruled by an assertive and active Aries Moon, so this is a great time to get things done!
Sunday’s Aries Full Moon will inspire us to purge, and its motto is ‘out with the old and in with the new.’ So, if you’ve got clutter around your house you’ve been meaning to bag up and donate, now’s the time!
The Past Can Prevent Your Future
Why am I stuck? Why am I not advancing? Why can’t I find love? Why is money never coming to me and always flowing out from me? These are questions I struggled with for a long time in my own life.
I delved deep into many aspects of life design, manifesting change, the Law of Attraction, deliberate creating, and personal growth and reinvention. I have watched, listened and been active in more workshops, online webinars and online learning in this genre than most will ever do in a lifetime. I have read the books and taken many notes. I have made the visions boards and spoken the affirmations. But no matter where I turned, I was always confronted with actual reality versus trying to ‘positive think and believe’ something else. How can we believe we are destined to be something different or better simply by speaking it…or visualizing it? The truth is, it isn’t that simple.
In my search for answers I have also watched others who have participated in the forums, seminars and workshops, and actually achieved something significant in their life. And it has been my observation that the people who have truly risen above their circumstances and achieved their dreams, are the ones that did the deeper inner work.
Going Beyond Your Sun Sign
When I began studying Astrology, I only focused on the Sun signs, or birth signs, without acknowledging all the other planetary influences that are equally important in person’s chart. An astrological natal chart reflects the planetary alignment at the exact time we are born into the world, which makes us all incredibly unique.
If you want to understand a relationship dynamic or yourself in-depth, a professional astrologer can break down the strengths and challenges of the situation using astrological data. There are also free resources online that can generate a basic astrology report which summarizes each planetary aspect for you.
The planets that fall within each astrological chart and their meaning are as follows:
1. The sun is who you show to the world.
2. The moon is your heart and emotions.
3. Your rising or ascendant sign is how you look.
4. Mercury is your communication and how you think.
5. Venus is how you love and show affection.