self-control
To Hate Is A Self-Destructive Choice
When I was in middle school, around the age of 13 or so, I remember an older, more popular girl used to constantly bully me. I also remember coming home from school and telling my mother about it. I told my mother that I hated that girl, but she very sternly said, “Oh no, you don’t hate anyone!”
I defiantly replied, “Oh yes, I do!”
My mother then patiently replied, “Okay, well if you are going to insist on hating her, please go and do it somewhere else, young lady. I do not want to hear about it anymore!”
She never explained to me why she felt it was inappropriate for me to hate anyone. I didn’t figure this out until much later in my life.
My own daughter is now also a teenager and she sometimes comes home from school with similar complaints. A girl at school has been spreading false rumors about her. Just like I did all those years ago, my daughter also told me how she hated this girl. And I replied the same way my mother did, except I also explained that hate only breeds more hate.
To hate someone or something only hurts you, no one else. My daughter hating this person she feels has wronged her, will only cause her to hurt herself more with negative emotion, every time she thinks about this person. Every time she tells a friend or family member about this girl, she will be refueling her own negative fire. Thus, she will only end up hurting herself more.
The other girl does not feel every occasion my daughter is upset, or reliving the hurtful situation that occurred. In reality, my daughter is punishing herself every time she thinks about how this person wronged her. This is what we all tend to do, when we find ourselves in similar or hurtful situations.
Your Sacred Creative Energy
One of the most powerful and sacred energies we have is our located in our Sacral Chakra, the seat of our sexual and creative energy. This chakra is located just underneath the navel and associated with the color orange.
Orange is the most creative color. I always recommend to my clients who are struggling to design, paint, sculpt, write, choreograph, compose, manifest, or get pregnant, to introduce as much orange in their life as possible. This means wearing orange, decorating your art studio with orange, and even eating oranges and carrots and other orange-colored foods!
Nothing is more powerful or important in life than to create another life. To create a new opportunity for soul growth. To give access to another being to be able to use the planet for spiritual growth. For this reason, our sexual energy and creative energy are intertwined.
When a client tells me they are having a hard time writing their book or completing an art project, I always look into what is happening in there romantic and sex life. Usually there is a problem in this aspect of their life. For example, an unhealthy sexual relationship involving abuse or perversion will stifle someone’s creative energy.
It is vital to know that every person you are sexually intimate with will leave a residue of their energy with you and take some of yours. Sex creates an energy cord between your and the other person. If this is not a healthy sexual exchange, then it may become both energetically and karmically toxic.
The abuse of our own sexuality, as well as the sexual abuse of others, can damage our creative energy. Abuse it, and you will lose it. Sexual trauma is stored in the body and can cause reproductive, psychological and creative damage. Sexual trauma as an adult, or in our childhood, needs a lot of work and time, and sometimes expert guidance, in order to heal.
A Sincere Apology Is Good For The Soul
One of the most difficult things in life is knowing when to apologize. It is obvious in some situations, but in others not so much. There are times when we need to weigh out all our options. Is the situation worth an apology, even if you are not the one who created a problem?
Knowing the right time to apologize is critical to the resolution. Was it done intentionally, or was it unintentional? Did the action cause others stress, worry, or pain?
You must also ask yourself if you can live without apologizing the rest of your life. Is it worth losing a friendship, leaving a group, resigning from a job, or not speaking to a family member ever again?
The good old Golden Rule can always come in handy in this dilemma. If you have done something that you would not want done to you, then apologize and seek atonement! Many people find it almost impossible to apologize. They struggle to acknowledge their own part in an argument or wrongdoing.
Some just do not seem to understand their actions were unacceptable, or they always feel that the world is out to get them. There is no compromise in their mind. They always try to twist every situation to make it seem like it is another person’s fault.
For some people, on the other hand, an apology seems to roll off their tongue a little too easily. When a sincere apology is made it must be followed by actions. Actions speak louder than words. By not repeating the offense, for example, it shows a true and sincere apology.
Sometimes all the other person needs to hear is a sincere, “I am sorry.” When we accept responsibility for our actions, we tell others we are sorry for hurting them. It is not always easy, but releasing guilt always is good for the soul.
True Love Has No Time Limit Or Deadline
We live in a busy world where most of us have gotten used to a very hurried life. Everything is on a strict schedule and time limit, because we now judge everything this way. We have become a restless society demanding instant solutions and immediate gratification in all things.
If the line is too long at the supermarket or fast food restaurant, some of us get upset. If we have to wait for our doctor when we have an appointment, we become annoyed. Some cut in front of others, or even cross streets while the light is still red, because they hate to wait.
Similarly, if we do not get an immediate reaction from our latest love interest, some of us do not become just a little restless or anxious. No, they get really upset!
If this kind of hurried, rushed way of life plagues you, then you may definitely need an major attitude adjustment. Because your naturally loving heart and your capacity for love and romance may be in serious trouble.
Maybe your heart never got the memo that there was no need to constantly hurry up and adhere to time limits and deadlines. What happened to dating? Romantic chats? Patiently anticipated expressions of affection? Dozens of love letters, and more recently emails and test messages? The joint holidays and weekends away? The looking forward to new adventures together?
What happened? What happened to living wholeheartedly in the moment? What happened to just enjoying the ride without constantly watching the calendar or the clock?
The one joy that we all desire and cherish is being loved and feeling special in someone’s eyes. To be affirmed, to be accepted and appreciated, to belong. It gives us an inner peace and happiness that cannot be found in any other way. Love and belonging is a fundamental necessity in everyone’s life. No matter how busy you are. Continue reading
Think Before You Speak Or Act
Sometimes, it is wise to move with caution and think things through slowly, so that we truly know what the best decision would be. This is especially true if you are one of those sensitive people who tend to be a ‘people-pleaser.’
Like the game of chess, it is smart to plan ahead and consider your options carefully. You don’t want to make a quick move, without clearly looking at what all the possible outcomes could be. We sometimes tend to make snap decisions to accommodate the needs of others, only to regret it later when we discover that it was a really bad move!
For example, if someone is asking you to do something for them or become involved in their project, and you just don’t know if you should commit yourself, you should say to that person: “You know, I’m so busy right now, I need a little time to think about it. I will get back to you on that as soon as I can.”
This way you do not have to walk away feeling you have let someone down, or harbor guilt or regret. You then take the time you need to simply think it through. Have a look at your calendar, make a few calls and decide how you really feel about this request or offer.
I believe this is one of the best pieces of advice I have ever been given: think through what you say and do, before you say and do it. Always consider if it is going to have a positive effect on your life and those around you. Never do anything that does not serve your highest good. It goes back to the ‘domino effect’ or the Law of Cause and Effect.
An Angel Message Of Unconditional Love
There are angels and spirit guides that work with us daily. They change at times, depending on what we need. They are always within reach and can hear our requests, our tears, and our laughter. They feel our sadness and joy.
I have a few angels and guides that are very dominant in my life, and at times they have a lot to say! But their messages always come from a place of truth and love.
I asked my angel earlier what the message was for today, and this is the message I received:
“This is a time to see the light of highest good in everyone. Even when others are negative, mean or hurtful, look below their outer facade, and see their soul.
See beyond their abrasive personality or behavior and feel instead compassion for them – even the most challenging souls that you cross in your path. There have been many in your life, and there will be many more to come.
This is a difficult lesson to learn. It will bring confusion at times, but you will in time find a sense of calm knowing that you did all you could do to be the best person you can be to others.
Rage and resentment serve no purpose. Anger, hurt, vengeance, spite, or wishing bad karma on others, serve no purpose.
Do not judge others because they are different from you. Accept all people as they are and send them loving energy that they will find their highest good in the challenges and lessons of their life.
Once you fully understand that you are here to love, and only love, the negativity will no longer affect you as it has in the past. When you can see each soul within the outer physical person, you will see the good that has simply been buried by those who do not have faith in themselves.
Keeping Your Cool In These Stressful Times
This is a stressful time, but my feeling is the Covid-19 pandemic has happened in our world for a reason. It is has been making us take a real long look at what is most important in life. It has been teaching us to not take our daily lives and our loved ones for granted.
The situation has been causing tremendous stress for many of us and has been challenging many relationships. And some of us are dealing better with it than others. If you have been struggling too, then there are some simple self-care strategies that could be helpful if you are feeling overwhelmed by a situation at home.
Start by holding some space for yourself, by carving out some time to just be by yourself, even it is just an hour. Use this time to do whatever makes you happy. If it means doing absolutely nothing, that is fine too! Having some ‘alone time’ helps to declutter your mind, improve your mood and restore your sense of self. If you cannot find peace at home, then go for a walk, or just go get cup of coffee somewhere nearby.
Meditation or quiet contemplation is a wonderful tool to gain a sense of calm and clarity. Take a moment to reflect on whatever may be bothering you, and try to gain a new perspective on the situation. There are always more than one side to a situation, and many tensions and conflicts can be resolved with cool heads and calm discussions.