self-control
Always Regain Your Karmic Composure
When we lose our composure and get very upset or angry, it is never a dealbreaker for spirit. It is only if we completely give up and do not learn from our transgressions that our guides, angels and loved ones in spirit may raise a ‘disapproving brow.’
If we lost your cool or stepped out of line, the key is to seek out the next right thing to do make amends for our messy indiscretions. Maybe it’s picking up a lost piece of mail in the post office parking lot and placing that into the delivery bin, so that it will find its destination. Or maybe it’s feeding the homeless person who is always sitting outside your local store. Or listening with an empathetic ear to a distant relative who has suffered a lot in their life recently.
Even doing an anonymous prayer or sending healing to someone will always be welcome. Whatever your clearance path is, be sure to untie those etheric karmic cords of your recent negative emotional responses and unkind actions, and make things right!
As a spiritually aware person, I will be the first to admit that I too have my ‘moments.’ If one is still dealing with unhealed trauma, shadow work and the clearing certain energy blockages, it is inevitable that frustration, irritation and anger can happen.
Every day, when I do my Epsom salt baths, I make the best attempt I can to clear such emotional energies, but it remains a work in progress. In fact, it seems like the process will never end.
Your Life Reflects Your Inner Being
Sometimes people have many issues with others in their life while they neglect to acknowledge that many of these problems are merely a mirror reflection of their inner being. This denial of personal responsibility is often the main cause of conflicts and drama in many people’s lives.
Everyone faces challenges in life. It is how these challenges are managed and released that gives one inner strength and peace. The answers are always within. But when we refuse to go within and face our inner truths, while instead venting our frustration, anger, envy, fear, and other pent-up negative emotions, it just brings so much more of the same crashing down on us.
That person you see with a huge smile on her face…her life is not necessarily all ‘sunshine and roses.’ Maybe she has just chosen to live with joy and gratitude in the present moment, instead of dwelling in the past or obsessing over the future. Maybe she has chosen to release that person or circumstance that had caused her pain or grief, and have chosen to move forward in her life with a knowing that bigger, better blessings are awaiting her on the other side of the pain.
The concept is simple, but the work is difficult. I am just as guilty of this human shortcoming as the next person. In my own life, I have also held onto things for so long that it stunted my spiritual, emotional, romantic, and financial growth. I held on to the resentment, bitterness, and vengeful thoughts, and it stunted me to the point that I found myself stuck in a very dark state of mind for a long, long time.
However, once I realized that both my psychic reading work and energy healing practice are absolutely dependent on clarity, love, compassion, and positive energy, I became determined to find ways to release the past and move forward, without any ill will towards another. Was it easy to find my way back to my inner truth and higher self? No, it was not. Was it worth the effort? Definitely!
Honor Your True Self Without The Drama
Many of people spend a good portion of their lives trying to be who they think others expect them to be. Although it is important for our own safety and peace of mind to conform and abide by society’s customs and codes of conduct, it is also imperative that we feel free to authentically express ourselves – as long as it is not detrimental to the well-being of others.
These days it can be treacherous to speak your mind or express your true feelings in just about any context, but the most troublesome of places to do this is on social media platforms, where faceless strangers often attack each other mercilessly, and at times for no apparent reason.
Instead of exposing oneself publicly to the vitriol and ill-conceived opinions of random strangers, it is best to be true to ourselves within our personal circle of influence. Being yourself and living and authentic life does not require us to announce our true thoughts and innermost feelings to the entire world.
Of course, expressing your truth to those closest to us can be equally difficult. One key to successfully communicating is to truly listen with respect and consideration to the views of others. Often, we do not really hear what is being said, because we are frantically thinking of our own response to what we assume they are saying.
Actively listening to someone explaining their position can be a real test of patience sometimes, but it usually pays off in the end by way of mutual understanding, conflict resolution, or compromise.
Disagreeing without hostility and aggression is an art in itself. The world we currently live in can be a tinder box at times, with people overreacting to even the smallest perceived slight. We cannot control the beliefs, words and actions of others, but we can certainly manage our own.
Vulnerability Grows Your Abundance Garden
Vulnerability is a critical element that determines our ability to receive from the Universe. I often tell my clients we may have to break a few eggs to save the dozen. Without ever taking the risk of making ourselves vulnerable there can be now growth, no progress, no expansion, and no abundance. This means if we dare to make mistakes, we eventually gain the ability to help more people, than if we kept ourselves covered and rigidly in control of how others see us.
Imagine yourself carefully harvesting chicken eggs and preparing to bring them to a farmer’s market for sale. But then you set off with a restrictive, limiting, fearful strategy of clasping those eggs frantically under one arm…for fear of dropping them all on the ground.
“I’m in complete control,” you proudly claim. But are you really?
Consider how tired your shoulders and arms would soon become, and how long it will be before some of those precious eggs are either crushed or dropped.
In the end, we usually give up on the idea of taking our eggs to the market, for fear of not being able to successfully complete the journey. Instead, we store those eggs in the refrigerator in the hope of feeling strong enough or muster enough courage sometime in the future.
But all is not lost, and it is never too late. We can circle back to something that is unfinished at any time, even if we initially felt we bit off more than we could chew. The Divine Feminine energy often works this way. Roundabout, yet sincere about eventually finishing the journey. She is thoughtful enough to improve herself and return with renewed vigor to what she started.
So, find it within yourself to return to that fridge and retrieve those stored eggs with renewed courage. Then once again set out to bring them to market. This time, you may just find it more manageable, and you may just make it all the way. There you may just be welcomed with open arms at the market…this time with all your eggs intact and everyone keen to purchase them!
Healing From A Relationship Breakup
All breakups are painful. There really is no quick fix to heal a broken heart. But there are some things one can do to gradually move on and begin a new journey without your ex-partner.
The first thing to do is to accept the reality of the situation. It is not going to do any good to dwell on the past or try to work things out at this point. In this early stage of grieving, it is usually not a good idea to speak to your ex at all. It will simply prolong the pain.
At times you might be tempted to reach out to your ex, but listen to what your heart and soul is telling you. Trust your gut. It will never steer you wrong.
You may also want to avoid reminders of your ex and your relationship. No need to put any more stress or pressure on yourself than you have to. It is best to accept what is and move on.
The most important thing now is to put yourself first and be true to you. Now is the time to come to grips with your feelings. Don’t hold back if you want to cry and let it out.
We are always trying to look for answers as to why something happened. Many times, we blame ourselves, thinking that things may have been different if we would have done more. We put ourselves through so much unnecessary guilt sometimes. It is unfair and pointless to do that to ourselves and not the best path to healing. Seek forgiveness for your ex and yourself.
A healthy lifestyle is important in times of grief. Exercise is especially beneficial. It makes you feel more in control of yourself and increases ‘feel good’ hormones like dopamine that will reduce depression.
Leave Some Space For Grace
When I read energy, it is shown to me in terms of the strength of that energy. In other words, the strength of the energy is directly tied to its manifestation here in the physical realm. As above, so below.
When we are angry or in conflict, we are often heavily invested in simply being right. And the more the argument evolves… the more virulent the energy becomes. This is never a hopeful, healthy precursor to manifesting better things in our life.
Fortunately, there is the powerful spiritual and emotional energy that love and forgiveness can also manifest in our lives, to counteract the impact of negative emotional energies.
A sister to the energies of love and forgiveness that is not always afforded equal honor, bit is equally powerful is the gift of grace. You may have heard of ‘grace under pressure?’ Essayist William Hazlitt defines grace as “the outward expression of the inward harmony of the soul.”
So, what is grace? Webster’s Dictionary defines grace as both a noun and a verb. Noun: unmerited favor, kindness undeserved. Verb: to confer dignity or honor on, or to add beauty to.
Grace is the ‘breath’ we take between anger and forgiveness. It is a choice to be silent, hold our tongue, and open the door for peace to enter into a challenging situation.
Angels naturally possess infinite grace, and many times the angels I work with have to remind me to hold my tongue, think before I speak, and simply be silent and listen to the person I am angry with. Being heard even if we are not understood is very validating. It says to the other person, “you are important to me, what you are feeling and thinking matters to me”. What you give you will receive.
Conscious Conflict Resolution
Dealing with tension and conflict is one of the most challenging dynamics in friendships and relationships. We have all found ourselves in a shouting match with someone we love, or concluding an argument feeling awful and unresolved.
Getting to the root of an issue without all the drama sometimes feels impossible. But conflict resolution is a skill, and one that can be honed with practice and patience.
The following strategies are helpful in shifting from overreaction to consciously seeking resolution when faced with difficult conversations or conflict scenarios.
Pause For Self-Awareness
Pause and identify what you are feeling. Step back from the feeling and merely observe it, as well as any thoughts that come along with the feeling.
Recognize that ‘you’ are not the feeling; it is a simply a sensation you are experiencing. Often people will say they are ‘angry,’ but words are powerful and this indicates that you have identified with the anger. You are actually saying: ‘I am anger.’
Do not choose to ‘be anger.’ You are merely experiencing anger. Shifting this mindset can help to separate your rational mind, from the emotional sensation of anger (or hurt, or whatever feeling you may be experiencing).
Once you are able to observe your emotions and thoughts in this way, it becomes much easier to avoid reacting from them. By not reacting, you give yourself the opportunity to think about your response first, and consciously choose your course of action.