self-confidence
Learning To Say Yes To Yourself
It is in the empath’s nature to say ‘yes’ to just about anything requested of them. It goes against our grain. For some of us, saying ‘no’ also brings on fears of rejection, abandonment or letting someone down when it may be important to support them.
Rather than finding an excuse, or simply telling the truth, many of us give in and just go along. It just feels easier in the moment, and even validating or satisfying.
But when you end that phone call, or respond to another text, and you feel anxious and panicked, while you start going over all the other things that will have to fall to the wayside by saying yes, then you really are saying no to yourself.
Self-care requires that we sometimes say no to others, in order to say yes to our own well-being and peace of mind. Consequently, the person that you said yes to won’t be getting the best of you. If you have said yes at your own expense, then what you bring to the table for that person is stress and anxiety. Your best self will not be fully present.
Saying yes, when you really want to say no, can also lead to resentment that you then attach to the person who asked for your assistance.
Here the responsibility lies with ourselves. We teach people how to treat us and many times we don’t give others enough credit for understanding when we say no. Most people would rather hear. “No thanks, that time doesn’t work for me” or “I have other commitments,” instead of having to sense a half-hearted or less than enthusiastic yes.
Reclaiming The Voice Of Your Inner Child
I always sing with my yoga students at the end of class. I used to work in the entertainment industry as a singer, dancer, and actress. Because of that, I feel confident singing in front of people.
Growing up, I was always full of joy despite my dysfunctional and rather glum family. Of course, they didn’t appreciate my natural exuberance. They certainly didn’t like that I sang all the time because it represented a lightness of being they had long since given up on.
Like many dysfunctional families, they put me down all the time. They told me that I couldn’t sing and that I sounded awful. But, as with all the other negative, hurtful things they tried to convince me of, I did not believe them.
I kept singing anyway, which irked them. I continued to sing and dance, and I even wrote, produced, directed, and starred in my own musical when I was eleven.
Now I’m not saying I had a good voice as a kid. I really don’t know if I did. But, loving to sing, some voice lessons and lots of joy certainly helped me become a relatively good singer.
One day, after my yoga class, a student came up to me and told me I had a beautiful voice. I thanked her. I often have people compliment my singing voice after class.
The student then told me her family told her she had a bad singing voice when she was a child so she stopped singing. She then mentioned other abuses she received by her cruel family.
Understanding How Men Fall In Love: Mind, Body & Soul
What makes a man fall in love head-over-heels? When does a guy go from casual interest, to “I want you in my life.” Maybe it’s timing. Maybe he’s been waiting for someone like you. Or maybe you’re way ahead of him.
But from what I’ve seen in thousands of psychic readings over the years, what really flips that switch is chemistry and connection. The way you look into his eyes. The way you listen to him like he’s the only person in the room. How you make him feel, and that sense that, in his arms, you belong.
It is not true that most men are obsessed with looks only. While an attractive appearance certainly helps to get things off the ground initially, this is not what men stick around for in the long term.
Some men are drawn to personality. Some to your kindness and tolerance towards others. Some are drawn to the way you think. Some to the scent of you. Some to that feeling that life without you would be boring. Sound familiar? Yes, the truth is, men and women want a lot of the same things: feeling important, wanted, accepted, appreciated.
A man will bond with you when he feels he can make you happy. When he knows you accept him fully. When he feels seen. Even the parts he hides! Because when he knows that, he gives himself to you: heart, mind, and soul.
There’s another myth that men like sassy women who “play hard to get,” as so often portrayed in Hollywood romcoms. That’s not it at all. What he does like is a woman who is secure in herself, who laughs easily, who keeps her own life going, who has her stuff together (not perfect, just real). And yes, attractive to him. But more than looks…she has backbone, presence, a rhythm of life.
The Simple Secret To Building Real Confidence
Building your confidence can feel vague or out of reach, like something you’re supposed to just know how to do, but often we don’t.
The typical advice is to do affirmations, spoken aloud or posted around your home, along with journaling and gratitude practices.
While these practices can help us cultivate things like intuitive awareness, inner peace or emotional balance, they aren’t always the most effective confidence builders.
There is one essential step we must take if we want to build genuine, lasting confidence. That step is action.
It’s easy to wait for confidence to arrive like a bolt of lightning, expecting it to empower us and prepare us to finally walk the empowered path of our dreams.
But the reality is that confidence doesn’t simply appear before the journey begins. It actually grows as we move forward.
Taking action can feel intimidating. You may not feel ready. You might believe you need more time, more clarity, or more skills. But readiness doesn’t magically arrive.
Change begins when we choose to take action, even if it’s imperfect. Manifestation requires more than thought and feeling. It calls for aligned, inspired action.
Be The Light That Darkness Cannot Touch
The nightmare continues every day. The very thing we fear the most has come to look us right in the face, staring in our eyes. This little imp taps us on the shoulder, reminding us of all the stupid things we did, all the hurtful things, how we messed up, time after time.
We messed up time again, no one agrees with us, we are reminded that “they” are so much smarter, did things exactly right every time.
We are at a turning point. We can give up, turn, run for the hills to hide, but still there is the demon of fear lingering around the deep recesses of our mind.
Surely this little devil of fear tells us we can see how we don’t deserve to reach our dreams, or accomplish our goals.
Stand back! Truly look at everything from all sides. Become like an eagle, or an owl, or a hawk, with eyes that see far beyond the surface where the heart lies.
Try to be kind and loving. Put your mind in the thoughts of being kind, being positive, no matter how much doing so lays open our heart for others to stomp on, even though many others will think you have lost your mind.
When we try with all our hearts to do something toward our dream, with love, with pure knowledge, we are listening to spirit. Then we gain strength, we gain courage, we pass over the top of the highest mountain to reach the other side. Let this outlook enlighten your heart, mind and soul toward a new attitude, for a new beginning.
Power And Protection From Your Ancestors
I come from a long line of female herbalists of European origins on my mother’s side of the family. They were seers, healers, and prophets who combined their psychic gifts with ancient healing practices. Today, they still come to me during meditation, to offer wisdom.
The family’s mainly Germanic connection is one I’ve researched for many years, but more recently I discovered that my ancestors crossed into Scandinavian and Norse territories too, which suggests a bloodline of fierce women who were warriors of their time.
It’s really not surprising to me, as even my own mother today, who is 84 years old, can still kick anyone’s butt who crosses her path in an unkind way! I always knew she was strong when I was little, and I always admired her power and independence.
I was born in the year 1966, which in Chinese Astrology equates to the year of the Fire Horse. Fire Horse people are only born once every six decades. It is a rare sign and, according to legend, many girl babies born in certain parts of Asia in that year were killed at birth, because they were believed to be dangerous, uncontrollable or resistant to rules or dogma.
My Fire Horse nature shows up in me from time to time, but only when I’m really pushed beyond reason by someone who is taking advantage of, or harming me, or my children.
Life will sometimes push us to step into our core strength and fight for what is right. There are many people on the spiritual path who feel stepping into your true power or fighting for what is right is ‘unspiritual’ or egotistic.
False Education Appearing Real (F.E.A.R)
I love the acronym F.E.A.R. (False Education Appearing Real) since we all have people, circumstances, phobias and so forth, that can put us into that space.
Fear is an instance of emotion that is triggered by the awareness, or anticipation of danger. It can also become a state of being. Excluding clinical fears, needing professional help, there are many fears we simply impose upon ourselves as a result of life experiences.
One of my fears is acrophobia, the fear of heights. When I get within five feet from the edge of a rooftop, I begin to shake.
Climbing 30 foot ladders has me nervous and when I hiked to the pinnacle of the mountain of Macchu Picchu in 2004, I could not take those last six nervous steps onto the plateau pinnacle rock. This was partly being due to a few other tourists already sharing the rock… and I am a little “accident prone.”
Although I was invited by my partner and the guide, I leaned against the rock debating my fear, shaking a little at the prospect and wishing that I could take those final steps, as I might regret it after I hiked down. Part of me did regret not taking those last steps when we got back to the base.
Yet, a bigger part of me knew I had to acknowledge the feelings in the moment, and since I am not a regular exerciser, I already had accomplished something tremendous by taking the hike to the top and back down the back side of the mountain. On the way I enjoyed the magnificent views and spiritual energy for several hours. Continue reading