life design
Accepting The End Of A Relationship
Don’t resist change, even in love. It is always best to accept things when a relationship ends. Sometimes a door needs to be closed in order for another door to open down the road.
I have seen this in my own personal relationships and those of many of my clients and friends. If it’s meant to be and there is true, everlasting love between two souls, there can never be a permanent goodbye. Rest assured, if you are meant to be with your beloved, they will come back to you, or you will go back to them.
At some point we all experience the pain of saying goodbye to someone we love very much. Experiencing relationship break-up tends to turn our lives upside down. This is especially true when we have to close the door on someone we love very much when we don’t really want the relationship to end.
But if we do it in a way that leaves the door open for them to come back, then maybe we can have a new beginning later. We just have to do the very hard thing of saying goodbye and taking a step back for now. If we refuse to accept that a relationship is over, we only prolong the pain and dysfunction, and make it difficult to heal and grow from the issues that caused it to fail in the first place.
Instead, we should focus on ourselves and our own needs for a while. When we are in a relationship that is not working, it can be easy to neglect our own needs and issues. Accepting the end of a relationship allows us to focus on our own healing and well-being. No matter how hard we try to hold on, it will only make it more difficult to bring healing to the aspects of the relationship failure that need healing.
The Misguided Fear Of ‘Missing Out’
FOMO. The “fear of missing out.” The term is typically used when young people feel envious or sad because they haven’t been invited or can’t go to an event or outing that their friends are attending. For others it is a matter of feeling driven to attend absolutely everything, including the opening of an envelope.
This mindset is spiritually misguided. Firstly, if you think carefully about what you are worried about missing out on, you usually find that you are not missing out on that much after all.
Secondly, there are much more valuable things to invest your time and energy in, especially for a young person. For example, if we don’t invest in improving our well-being in body, mind and spirit early in life, we will miss out on many blessings of joy, fulfilment and abundance later in life.
Instead of trying to attend every event or doing everything and the kitchen sink to keep up with the Joneses, it makes much more sense to create a foundation of joy, inner peace and abundance for ourselves. It is a wellspring that will never run dry. This is what one should really be ‘afraid’ of missing out on.
How To Be More Present In Your Life
We often hear the advice that ‘being present’ is an important spiritual practice to master on our journey through life. Being present with ourselves and in the moment. I like to think of it as being with yourself wherever you go and whatever you do. This is certainly true, but what exactly does it mean? And with all the busyness of life and keeping up with our daily responsibilities, how do you become more present in your life?
Firstly, cultivating ‘presence’ requires time management and effective planning. It is important to organise the responsibilities of our lives in a manageable way. Otherwise, we find ourselves in a constant state of worry and stress, having to manage daily demands ‘on the fly’. And this is a sure way to lose our presence.
Planning ahead may seem like the opposite of being ‘in the moment’, but it is actually essential. When we are busy making plans for the coming week, thinking about what we need to prepare for and making decisions about how to organise our time and spend our energy, we don’t think much about the ‘present moment.’ But this is something we need to do in order to then be more present in our daily lives. It is key to cultivating presence.
The Miracle Power Of Blind Faith
In the early 1980s, Britain was in the grip of a recession and it was hardly the time to lose your job. Unfortunately, I did, and fell into debt and depression. In total, I was about a year’s salary in debt. It was a daunting sum to pay back when I had little prospect of finding a job in such an economic climate.
I went to the bank and explained my plight to the loan officer to make arrangements to pay off my debt in increments. I remember sitting in his office and he looked me in the eye and said, “Unfortunately, it looks like you are not going to get out of this situation anytime soon. You are going to have to file for bankruptcy.”
However, being a feisty young woman of blind faith, I replied, “I can assure you that I will! Even if it takes a miracle!” In the back of my mind, I knew I desperately needed one.
Well, my miracle did not come in the form of an unexpected lottery win or tax refund, as I had hoped, but rather in the form of steady work through a temporary staffing agency, as well as sheer grit, determination and blind faith that enabled me to ‘miraculously’ turn my situation around. Yes, I did it!
This life experience may not seem like much of a miracle to some, but it certainly was to me at the time. I guess it all depends on what the term ‘miracle’ means to you? For some, like me, a miracle might be overcoming debt, unemployment, and an economic recession. For others, it might be overcoming a life-threatening illness or disability, or meeting your ideal partner after a devastating divorce, or landing your dream job against all odds. I do however believe that ‘blind faith’ is often the key, no matter the circumstances.
Surround Yourself With Divine Love
Love is a concept I encounter every day in my work, and it is indeed a multifaceted thing. In its purest form, it manifests itself as a mother’s love for her child, a partner’s love for his spouse, or a sibling’s love for a brother or sister.
But love also takes more subtle forms. It can be reflected in a teacher’s love for expanding young minds, a researcher’s desire to advance humanity, or an engineer’s fine attention to detail.
There are also negative, toxic forms of ‘love.’ Too much love, though usually well-intentioned, can be harmful. The hovering parent, the controlling spouse, the overprotective friend can stifle true growth, trust, and creativity.
Sometimes conditional love is traded like a commodity or used as a weapon. It can be withheld when behavior is perceived as lacking or used as a reward for conforming to the status quo.
Fake love is also used as a facade or camouflage. The world is full of negative energy and hidden agendas disguised as projects of love that are supposed to be “for the greater good.”
Sometimes love turns into distractions, such as self-centered schemes that are really based on greed. Some people who profess love in truth worship false praise, accolades, and self-enrichment.
Spirit invites us to abandon the charade of false love. Instead, we should strive to be kind, compassionate, and generous without expecting anything in return. We must give others the benefit of the doubt without judging their worth or intent. Each day we should step forward and ask, “How can I help?” instead of making negative assumptions. Spiritual people lead by example. We must show the world the divine beings we are inside.
Staying Connected To Spirit
If you are like me, I sometimes find it a struggle to disconnect from the ego in order to commune with spirit, Being spiritually aware and connected is a state of higher consciousness I prefer to spend as much time in as humanly possible.
Wouldn’t it be absolutely wonderful if we were always fully connected to spirit? Life is so much better and easier when my heart and mind are in the wonderful world of spirit.
Of course, it is not entirely practical or wise to always be in a higher state of consciousness, but one can certainly strive to spend more time living spiritually connected.
What I have learned to be extremely important is the practice of gratitude. Every day I try to consciously revel in all that is good and blessed in my life, instead of bringing myself down by focusing on what is wrong or lacking. We always have much more to be thankful for than we care to admit.
Another commitment I have made is to constantly remind myself that I am part of something greater than myself and connected to everyone and everything in the universe. This is not only a privilege, but also a responsibility. Regardless of how I feel on any given day, I am a spiritual being in human form who has the wonderful ability to choose the better side of myself and not let the ego take over.
I also know from experience that in order to stay spiritually connected, it is crucial for me to set aside some time each day for spiritual reflection, even if it is just a few minutes of meditation, to contemplate my purpose in this world, or ways I can be more compassionate, forgiving, or grateful.
The Golden Power Of Silence
I took my early morning walk today along a path surrounded by an olive grove on one side and almond trees on the other. In the background the beautiful hills seemed mystical in the early morning mist.
The only sounds that broke the silence at this early hour were the chirping of birds and the bleating of baby goats playing on the small farm opposite my house. Occasionally they were interrupted by their father, who seemed to keep them safe by nudging them into a particular corner of the property.
In these moments of peaceful silence I like to have a dialogue with spirit to receive some guidance or direction for the day, as well as answers to questions I may have about my life and work. But today I felt guided to simply contemplate the meaning of silence.
There are many forms of silence, some less peaceful than others. For example, there are the ‘elephant in the room’ or ‘cold shoulder’ moments of silence when there is awkwardness between people. There is also the ‘poker face’ silence, when someone pretends to listen, but in reality has mentally withdrawn from the conversation. We also fall silent when we are perplexed or confused. Sometimes we keep silent to avoid possible misunderstandings.
A very powerful form of silence occurs when we are deeply engaged in an activity, alone or with others. Everything else seems to fade away as we concentrate on the task at hand.
And of course the best kind of silence is when we are in communion with spirit and the cosmos. In these moments we feel completely at peace and connected to others and the universe. This silence nourishes the soul and gives rise to divine inspiration and spiritual insight.