life design
Embrace Your Personal Power In Relationships
Our relationships have great power and influence in our lives. In particular, many of us spend countless hours pursuing love and romance. Then, once we are in a relationship, we spend even more time and energy thinking about it, confiding in friends about it…often trying to make the relationship different or better.
I deal with this almost daily as I have counseled hundreds of lovesick, frustrated, and heartbroken clients over the years.
“If only he would do what I want, things would be different,” some of my clients might say. “If only he would be more open and honest, maybe I could trust him more.” Truth be told, I have heard similar words come out of my own mouth about my own relationships more times than I care to admit!
Unfortunately, instead of successfully influencing our partner’s words or behavior, we are often left feeling disappointed, betrayed, frustrated, powerless, or out of control. It is draining, pointless, and definitely not the best use of one’s time and energy.
So how do we change it? How do we take emotional control of our life and our relationships? The answer is shockingly simple.
It is all about taking a different, broader perspective on relationships and what they are here to teach us. A quote from Unity Church’s Daily Word magazine perfectly captures this shift in perspective: “Through our relationships with one another, we express the power, presence and love of God.”
The Constant Battle Of Head Versus Heart
Have you ever second-guessed yourself, done or said something that went against your gut, only to realize in retrospect that your initial feeling or hunch was right? Had you acted differently, it could have saved you a lot of heartache and loss, emotionally, physically or financially?
If you have ever been in this position, know that you are not alone. The “head versus heart” dilemma can be very confusing and frustrating. Many of my clients struggle with it and some experience a great deal of confusion, stress and emotional discomfort as a result.
When faced with difficult decisions or challenging situations, we usually have a good sense of what the best course of action might be. But then we tend to look for concrete evidence to support our feelings and intuitive hunches, and when we cannot find any, which is often the case, our heads take precedence over our hearts. So we end up discounting our feelings and intuitions, usually to our own detriment.
The struggle between head and heart is a common theme in philosophy, literature, art, and popular culture, as we all regularly experience inner conflicts between reason and emotion, logic and intuition, responsibility and passion.
The Four Dimensions Of Holistic Self-Care
In today’s fast-paced world, we get caught up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life, leaving little time for self-care. Yet, holistic self-care is essential for a healthy, happy, and fulfilling life.
There are also various myths about self-care. For example, self-care is not a one-size-fits-all approach. It is also sometimes misunderstood to simply mean ‘spa days’ or ‘bubble baths with candles.’
True self-care is multidimensional and includes various activities and practices that promote physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual health and well-being. Self-care is the ultimate expression of self-love.
It is important to adopt self-care practices that work for you and that suit your lifestyle. There is no right or wrong way to practice spiritual self-care.
The most important thing is to find activities that also help you to connect with your inner being and that nourishes your spirit, because for many people today, spirituality is often the most important missing piece of their self-care puzzle.
When spirituality is incorporated into our daily self-care routine it has a profound impact on our overall health and well-being. Spiritual self-care helps us to develop a deeper understanding of ourselves and our place in the world, and empowers us with the resilience to better cope with stress and adversity. In order to live a fulfilling and balanced life, it’s essential to embrace self-care in all its dimensions, including our spiritual health.
The Transformative Power Of Vulnerability
I find that spirit wants to remind us that vulnerability offers us a special kind of magic in our lives. It is a theme that comes up regularly in psychic readings I do for my clients.
Vulnerability can transform lives, careers, relationships and families in profound ways. But for many of us, life has taught us that being vulnerable is a ‘weakness’ that puts us at risk.
Many of us have built walls around ourselves to protect ourselves because we feel we risk rejection, judgment, or failure if we allow ourselves to be vulnerable. The ego tells us it’s best not to take those risks at all!
Instead, we harden our hearts and keep our distance, choosing to figure out what others might think, feel or do before we are willing to put ourselves out there in any way.
But by shying away from being open, authentic, and transparent with our thoughts, feelings, hopes, fears, and desires, we actually block the very outcomes in life that we hope for.
So, how do you get more comfortable opening up and allowing yourself to be authentic and vulnerable? And how does that open you up to the very results you want to manifest in your life?
Comparison Poisons The Heart, Mind And Soul
When we are going through difficult times, we tend to compare our struggles and suffering to the lives of others and measure ourselves by their perceived happiness, joy and success.
We often do this these days by comparing our own lives to what others post on social media. Then we judge and mentally torture ourselves for not living up to other people’s highlight reels of happiness and good fortune.
Sure, it is sometimes beneficial to self-reflect and strive for more based on the examples of others who serve as our role models. However, when we indiscriminately compare our own life journey to everyone else’s, we end up diminishing our own uniqueness and value.
While social comparison can motivate us to improve and grow, it can also lead to toxic self-judgment, envy, resentment, and extreme unhappiness. Constantly focusing on the highlights of other people’s lives quickly becomes toxic and self-destructive.
However, this tendency is not a character flaw in some of us. In fact, it is a natural evolutionary instinct that we all have. Our ancestors survived by living in social groups. Our tendency to compare ourselves to others is therefore a very common human trait, rooted in our evolution as a species.
Our Choices Are Ours To Make
The past few years have been challenging for everyone. The pandemic, political upheaval, and economic uncertainty have affected lives all over the world.
I have personally witnessed the pain and struggles of many people close to me, as well as my clients.
I even had to take a ‘mental vacation’ at times as I began to feel disoriented and somewhat confused by the messages the angels were giving me.
I asked the why’s with no clear answers. I’ve asked the how’s without sensible explanations. As a lightworker I tend to feel compelled to fix things, to make things better.
Then one day I had a breakthrough when spirit told me clearly that it is not my job to fix everything and everyone.
Spirit has led me to understand that my job is to spread love, light and healing to the best of my ability. How people choose to think, feel and act in response to their life challenges is not for me or anyone else to try to control. Everyone’s choices are theirs to make as they see fit, and with much choice comes much responsibility.
As heartbreaking and frustrating as it may be at times, it is not my place to interfere with other people’s karmic journey and soul plan. This newfound insight was jarringly confirmed by a traumatic event just a few weeks ago.
Kindness Will Transform Your Life
Recently, I have noticed that many of my clients are increasingly seeking spiritual guidance for loneliness and feelings of isolation. No matter what their unique circumstances may be, spirit’s response in these matters is always that the solution begins with ourselves.
We must be the change we wish to see in our world in order to live a more connected and joyful life. Yes, the world we live in these days can be very stressful and alienating, but that does not prevent us from being more kind and generous to others.
Whether it is a smile, opening a door for a stranger, saying thank you or have a nice day, giving a compliment, or making a small donation to a charity, these small gestures every day have a magical impact on our lives. Spirit says we have chosen to experience this life and it is part of our soul journey to go out and be the difference we wish to see in this sometimes difficult, chaotic world.
Being kind is a powerful daily reminder to ourselves and others of our interconnectedness; that we are all on this journey together. Whether it’s a small gesture of kindness or a grand act of generosity, the ripple effect of compassion creates a chain reaction that inspires others to pay it forward.