karma
Breaking Free From A Toxic Family Curse
Over the past year and a half, I have been working with a client who grew up in one of the most toxic families I have ever encountered in my work. It has been a long time since I have been so moved by a client’s tragic story and ancestral legacy. With her permission, I thought it might be helpful to share some of her experiences.
She was raised by an extremely narcissistic mother who manipulated and emotionally abused her for most of her life with belittling scapegoating and harsh criticism, until she finally managed to break free and set healing, healthy boundaries.
But once those long overdue boundaries were in place, she suddenly discovered that her siblings had taken it upon themselves to continue their mother’s toxic behavior toward her! While she thought she had finally found some peace in her life, and could safely confide in her siblings about her healing journey, she soon found out how wrong she was.
Until recently, she had openly shared her thoughts and feelings about her mother with her siblings. They, in turn, wholeheartedly agreed and confided that they felt the same way. As her younger siblings, they claimed to have endured similar abuse from their mother. No matter what they said or did, they were also constantly verbally attacked and criticized by her.
Meanwhile, none of her siblings claims were true. As the family scapegoat she was in fact the only one who endured all their mother’s abuse. I tried to caution her every time we did a reading, but she suffered betrayal blindness when it came to her siblings, in the same way she did for many years with her mom.
Karma Is A Teacher, Not An Avenger
People often talk about karma as if it’s some form of divine punishment or retribution that will eventually be visited upon those who have wronged them. Letting karma “take care of it” is a comforting reassurance that we may be rewarded for being the ‘bigger person’ in unfair situations. And certainly it is always advisable to do the right thing when others are being petty or behaving badly.
But this is not karma.
The universe is not in the business of handing out ‘karmic punishment,’ for we are not judged as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ for our choices and actions. All of our choices and actions have value and teach us lessons. So, why would there be any need for a universal system of punishment? Or reward, for that matter?
This is not to say that karma does not exist. On the contrary, we can see karma at work all the time in everyday life, down to the most mundane things we choose to do. However, karma is not a force of reckoning, but the cause and effect of energy, which is a universal law.
When we live a heart-centered life, doing good deeds and being kind to ourselves and others, we will feel joyful, happy, fulfilled and at peace. We thrive in the vibrant flow of positive energy. On the other hand, when we live a heartless life, do things that are wrong, destructive, and evil, and we are unkind or cruel to ourselves and others, we will feel miserable, hopeless, dissatisfied, depressed. We suffer in the thick mud of negative energy.
Karmic Healing Inspired By Our Ancestors
I recently completed a pharmacy volunteer assignment at the American Red Cross. On my final shift, one of the phlebotomists gave me a T-shirt as a parting gift. It is printed with the slogan: Be Cool. Give Blood.
That T-shirt turned out to be a sign from spirit! It synchronistically brought up memories of one of my favorite mentors, and prompted a thought process regarding the role of our ancestors in karmic healing, and our soul family contracts, at a moment in time that I most needed it and found deeply meaningful.
In pharmacy school, I had an eccentric professor who used unconventional teaching methods and famously wore Snoopy™ and Joe Cool™ apparel to class. To us he was much like the character John Keating or “Captain” in the popular film Dead Poets Society (1989). As pharmacy students we usually attended mostly stodgy scientific lectures, therefore we simply loved his unconventional, fun approach!
I distinctly remember one of the topics we discussed in his curriculum was ‘empathy in healthcare.’ Little did I realize at the time how his teachings would someday inspire me in my work as psychic advisor.
In 1994, on the first day of our social and administrative classes, our beloved professor was tragically diagnosed with colon cancer. He passed away seven years later in 2001.
Dealing With Ancestral Karmic Debt
When a loved one crosses over, they transcend this dimension to enter the next. In the spirit dimension we revert from human ego consciousness back to universal consciousness, and our awareness is no longer limited by time and space.
I like to think of our constantly evolving soul or spirit as ‘cookie dough.’ When we cross over and revert to the broader perspective of universal consciousness, our soul energy is like a ball of dough that has been proofing for a lifetime.
As the Universe, or the Divine Cookie-Maker, rolls out the dough of our returning soul, there will be some karmic ‘lumps.’ These lumps are the unwise choices, mistakes, transgressions, missed opportunities, failures, crimes, and sins for which we didn’t make amends during this lifetime. It then becomes our karmic debt.
Some of these karmic debts go back many generations and have become part of the ancestral legacy of our soul family. It has sometimes dire consequences for everyone we are spiritually connected to in this life and the next. It becomes a shared responsibility for the entire soul family, for which someone needs to step up at some point to break the cycle.
Making amends and striving towards karmic healing is therefore not just something we do for our own sake, but also for those that came before us, and especially for those who will come after us.
Our ancestors on the Other Side are also continually striving to resolve their karmic debts, and for this they may need our help and support. If we hold them, or ourselves, in a state of unforgiveness, they cannot move forward with their karmic healing, or the next stages of their soul journey.
Learning To Forgive
Accepting, letting go and forgiving is difficult, but necessary to thrive and live our best life. When we do not forgive, we carry toxic energy within that poisons us mind, body and soul.
Energetically non-forgiveness wreaks havoc in our chakras that can cause physical disease and mental illness. Our chakras store the energies of negative life events and experiences, if we do not release it, and heal those imbalances and blockages.
Forgiving does not mean we condone or exonerate the evil deeds of others, nor do we have to allow the people who have wronged us back into our life. This is seldom wise.
However, it is also not karmically smart to harbor resentment, seek vengeance, or wish others harm…for it will come back to us. Forgiveness is to surrender control and allowing karma to deal with those who wronged us.
When we forgive and release the trauma others have caused us, their choices and actions can no longer control us, nor steal our happiness, joy, and well-being. This is why forgiveness is the best gift we can give to ourselves.
Forgiveness does not set the wrongdoer free or exempt them from their karmic debt. Instead, we set ourselves free, so that their karmic choices no longer interfere with our energetic well-being and our divine right to manifest our best life. When we do not forgive and move on, it will continue to haunt us. It gradually infiltrates and contaminates every aspect of our life, and even causes us to attract more of the same unwanted experiences.
What Happens When We Cross Over?
As a psychic medium I am sometimes asked what it it is like when we cross over. In my experience doing thousands of readings over the years, people seem to have very similar death experiences.
The dying person often sees their own body below them, as if they are floating above it. They can often hear medical personnel trying to save them. There is a complete detachment from their body.
They can also see their loved ones in the room. So, even if you’re loved one is in a coma, or appears to not know you are there, please know that they do. They see the flowers you bring and see you holding their hand. It comforts them. They will feel the love you are giving them.
I have also had cases of them hearing what people were saying about them who while they were in a different location, even another country. Our energy is like air. It can move through anything and can be in several places at once. We are pure consciousness.
After the out-of-body experience, there is often a tunnel that they move through with a bright light at the end. This light is incredibly appealing. People feel compelled and pulled toward this light. They often also feel others present with them. Loved ones, ancestors, guides, angels, God. Their feelings of love, calm, peace and bliss is overwhelming and indescribable.
Once through the tunnel, they are greeted and welcomed by loved ones and guides. Even animals that have crossed will often be there. So, know that you will be reunited with your beloved pet!
Why Do Old Souls Return To Earth?
Evolved souls have many options to choose from when they reincarnate, so why do we choose to come to this world? After all, planet Earth is a highly challenging environment for advanced soul growth.
The energy conditions here offer an excellent spiritual ‘classroom’ for younger souls. Earth offers many experiences to learn from. Justice and injustice. Love and hate. Pain and joy. Feast and famine. Wealth and poverty. The magical experience of having children is also very appealing and unique to Earth.
These learning opportunities are a strong pull for young souls, but for the older soul the physical experience here tend to be frustratingly slow and dense. Existing in a frail human body is an added challenge.
There are other planes of existence where a physical body or constant efforts to maintain a raised vibration are not at all needed. In those higher dimensions there is no time-space limitation, nor dense material form. There is only pure consciousness. There are also other planets in the Universe, beyond our solar system, where the energy vibration is much higher and lighter, and the expansion of consciousness much more evolved, and less taxing.
So, why do some old souls choose to repeat the human experience once again, and sign up for another difficult life journey in such a spiritually inhospitable place here on Earth?