suffering
Embracing The Shadow
When I first began to intentionally and consciously walk a spiritual path, I remember doing so because it just felt so right. Every step I took toward ‘enlightenment’ in this lifetime seemed to bring more brightness into my life, and so many more blessings.
In those early days I was really rolling! I was expecting this to be an easy ride – all joy and light and love. It was wonderful.
What I hadn’t expected was the inevitable emergence of my shadow through as a result of all my spiritual work. And it was not something I was going to be comfortable with – admitting I had places of darkness within me, unloved aspects of myself, disowned pieces of my soul which had been abandoned and in such pain.
Through a series of, what seemed like, unfortunate events, I was given opportunities to face my shadow side. Challenges in relationships with friends and loved ones arose. I couldn’t understand it at first, and felt very alone and misunderstood. I was shifting the blame for this onto the people around me, instead of going inward.
Going inward, into the light, was totally okay, but going inward into the darkness was terrifying. My ego-self raised every defense to keep me from going there. Eventually, I could avoid it no longer.
My life at this point had endured tremendous change in the course of only a few years- so much so, that the entire landscape of my existence and the people in it were now different. While many of the changes were positive, the magnitude of the differences between my ‘old life’ and my ‘new life’ forced me into robust self-reflection.
Where did I want to go with my life? What did I want to do? And who was I going to be? I must admit, these were heavy questions, and I absolutely felt the weight of them. In addition, I was healing from a personal loss, and that was taking more time than I wanted it to.
My ‘aha moment’ came when I was lamenting one day about my relationship with my partner. I had identified that I wanted a deeper level of connection, but felt that he was unwilling to meet me there.
The Power Of The Human Spirit
My maternal grandparents were very significant people in my life. We called them Mama and Papa, and we were extremely attached to them, and loved them dearly. They taught me important life lessons about love, loyalty, courage, and the resilient power of the human spirit.
They were married very young, which was not uncommon in those days, and went on to produce large family of 15 children. My grandfather worked on the docks in the small town where we grew up, and made very good money doing it.
Their lifestyle should have been more comfortable than it was, since his income was quite substantial for that time. But it was not, and this was not due to them having so many children either. The real reason was that he was an alcoholic and a gambler, so there were many times when the family did not fare so well financially, for obvious reasons.
This was not something we realized as children, and if we were told we would probably not have given it any credibility. We simply worshiped our grandparents too much to believe such a thing!
My own parents were quite poor, so when Papa gave us a nickle or a dime, and sometimes even a quarter, he certainly seemed a hero to us. It was not just the money. Papa gave us the most profound love and attention that poor, neglected children crave and we reciprocated in kind. We absolutely adored him.
Although Papa was in truth not always conscious of the daily needs of his family, it was still abundantly clear he cared for all of us with a strength that is not always understood, especially when it came to our grandmother. One could not only see, but also feel his intense love for her.
They had mostly lived in very humble homes during the many years they were married, and while we are now certain Mama must have found it trying at the best of times, she was never heard to utter a complaining word. Such was her loyal devotion to her life partner.
The Key To A Lasting Relationship Is Inner Peace
One of the most consistent issues that often come up in relationship readings is what I call the ‘peace vibe.’ And this kind of inner peace is associated with our capacity to trust in an abundant universe. Most of my clients believe there is a divine power greater than us, but trusting that this power can help us create a positive momentum in our lives is another story entirely!
It is said that Albert Einstein once remarked that the most important decision we have to make in this life is whether we believe in a friendly, or hostile universe. This is the foundational question when talking about whether we are in the ‘vibe of peace,’ or not. If someone is constantly waiting for the proverbial ‘shoe to drop,’ they are likely not living in peace.
You see, our point of attraction is determined by our vibes (energy vibration), which is why inner peace is such an important concept in manifesting a lasting, successful relationship. Trust is the key foundation for all relationships. Sure, all relationships also pose an element of risk, but a hyper-focus on the risk will only create a mental and emotional environment that does not facilitate a happy and healthy relationship. In fact, with my experience of doing love and relationship readings for the past 20 years, I would go as far as to say that without trust there really is no relationship.
So, how does this work? Well, have you ever noticed that highly critical people will always find something or someone to judge or criticize? There is never a lack of reasons for criticism from disapproving or disparaging people. The same is also true when there is a lack of inner peace. Chaos naturally follows chaotic people, while people who choose serenity and joy experience more serenity and joy in their lives.
Will The Aliens Come And Rescue Us?
I don’t know if is due to the havoc that has been happening on our planet in recent months, but lately I have consistently been having an unusual, recurring thought. I have been wondering whether the aliens might be willing to come and rescue us? Unfortunately, my next instinct is usually, I doubt they will!
If we had the opportunity to express our fears and worries to highly-evolved extraterrestrial beings, and ask for their help, how would they respond?
Let’s say we tell them how terrified or confused we have been of this insidious new virus that has been spreading all over our world. Or maybe we would whine and fret over the changing climate, extreme weather patterns, pollution, the plight of the animals, or environmental decline. Or we might lament the many socio-economic hardships, cultural difficulties, psychological suffering and physical pain many of us face in our daily lives.
My guess is the aliens would immediately question our fears, and remind us that it only creates panic and paralysis. Fear does not heal, or solve problems. The aliens will also explain to us that while we are here in this particular plane of physical existence, there is great value in learning to creatively cope with all the trials and tribulations that are thrown our way.
Even though life’s setbacks may appear to be frightening and insurmountable at times, each time we accept the challenge, it will enhance our personal growth and spiritual expansion. We become stronger and wiser as spiritual beings, and with the conquering of every passing fear and obstacle, we become more adept at understanding the true purpose and meaning of life and our place in the Universe.
It Just Happened
Too often people justify their poor judgment and bad choices with feeble excuses like, “It just happened.” But we all know that this is seldom the truth. The reality is that every step in our life is a choice. Whether we step forward, sideways, backwards, or stand still, it is a choice. And we should take personal responsibility for our life choices.
In everyday life we do not think much about where our steps may be leading us. We are typically just walking automatically in some direction. Many people simply live by trial and error.
However, when things go bad for us, it is usually because we have subconsciously, or even consciously, made the choice to move in a certain direction – a direction that we intuitively knew was not serving our highest good. And sadly, many times these bad choices also severely affect others.
For example, a friend of mine, who has only been married for one year, currently remains geographically separated from her husband, until she gets her immigration paperwork to be able to join him legally in his country. They had a beautiful wedding, and made the usual promises: to love and cherish, be faithful, in sickness and health, until death do them part.
Despite their long-distance marriage, they were doing everything right during the waiting period – or so it seemed. They called each other daily on the phone, and also talked on video chat. They constantly texted loving messages. He was originally also able to come and visit her here in Canada, but she could not cross the border to see him. However, when the Covid-19 pandemic hit, he was also denied entry. They had no further choice but to wait it out.