toxic thoughts
The Spiritual Importance Of Releasing Resentments
I went out for lunch today and had a bad service experience with the waitress. It was as if she didn’t care much to listen to what I wanted. She seemed distracted and careless.
Two and a half months ago, I had a similar experience at another restaurant when the server packed the wrong items for me to take home. I felt ignored, even disrespected. Today’s experience brought back the same feelings and memories.
I was so upset that I decided I was not going to leave her a tip. But then, in the middle of my meal, while feeling angry and somewhat sorry for myself, I overheard a nearby customer calling her friend by the same name as my late mother.
This caused me to pause and reflect on my toxic thoughts about the careless waitress. You see, my mother was also a waitress many years ago. It was how she put food on the table and put us through school.
Perhaps today’s events were meant to remind me during the holiday season how many of us go through life with unhealed “mother wounds.”
Spirit now had my attention and proceeded to make me aware that my waitress had her own issues with her mother growing up, and that she is now a single mother herself, barely making ends meet. This realization instantly changed my perspective and my petulant attitude.
The Law Of Reverse Effect
I remember talking to a very distraught client a few years ago about a man with whom she had been having a secret affair for 24 years. It was a relationship she was very obsessed with and had stubbornly pursued for over two decades, despite many red flags and a great deal of frustration and disappointment along the way.
When this man finally got up the courage to divorce his wife, he left not only his wife, but also his mistress. Within three months, he was in a relationship with someone new and told my client that he never really felt that way about her anyway.
She wanted to know how this could be? She expected with 100% certainty that he would be with her and no one else after the divorce, but the exact opposite happened. After all, she had put a lot of time, effort, energy, love, and devotion into this secret relationship, not to mention all the stress, frustration and drama she had to endure for over two decades.
At the time, this tragic story made me think about some of the free will choices I have made in my own life. There have been times when I, too, have stubbornly expected things to turn out a certain way for me because I pursued it with vigor, only to be devastated when it did not. For example, many years ago, a guy I had a huge crush on and thought was really into me ended up hitting on my best friend while we were out on a date! I guess the moral of the story is to never pursue someone who is not really that into you.
Financial Prosperity Requires An Energy Shift
It takes more than just talent and hard work to enjoy true abundance and prosperity. In fact, our energy has the most profound impact on our success. People who struggle in this area of their lives often need a major energy shift to unlock new levels of abundance in their lives, especially in the area of financial success.
‘Energy’ in this context refers to the subtle creative forces emanating from our thoughts, emotions, beliefs and actions. By the way, this is not just a metaphysical or esoteric concept. Modern science also recognizes that everything is energy.
Everything in the universe is made up of tiny particles. These particles are in constant motion and vibration. In other words, they are energy. The energy of these particles is what we experience as matter.
For example, the screen of the device on which you are reading this blog post is made up of atoms that are constantly vibrating at a very high speed. This vibration is what you currently experience as the solidity of your cell phone or computer screen.
The same is true for all matter, whether it’s an object, plant, animal, person or place, or even your own body. Everything around us is made up of vibrating particles, and the energy of these particles is what we experience as physical matter.
Comparison Poisons The Heart, Mind And Soul
When we are going through difficult times, we tend to compare our struggles and suffering to the lives of others and measure ourselves by their perceived happiness, joy and success.
We often do this these days by comparing our own lives to what others post on social media. Then we judge and mentally torture ourselves for not living up to other people’s highlight reels of happiness and good fortune.
Sure, it is sometimes beneficial to self-reflect and strive for more based on the examples of others who serve as our role models. However, when we indiscriminately compare our own life journey to everyone else’s, we end up diminishing our own uniqueness and value.
While social comparison can motivate us to improve and grow, it can also lead to toxic self-judgment, envy, resentment, and extreme unhappiness. Constantly focusing on the highlights of other people’s lives quickly becomes toxic and self-destructive.
However, this tendency is not a character flaw in some of us. In fact, it is a natural evolutionary instinct that we all have. Our ancestors survived by living in social groups. Our tendency to compare ourselves to others is therefore a very common human trait, rooted in our evolution as a species.
The Forgotten Art Of Self-Healing
Self-healing is a holistic approach to wellness that too often takes a back seat in our modern existence.
The mind-body has an incredible restorative and self-healing capacity that is often overlooked. Harnessing these inner forces can lead to a profound transformation of one’s life.
Self-healing is not just about recovering from physical ailments; it encompasses mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being.
It is the process of harnessing our body’s innate ability to recover from physical ailments and mental health challenges without relying solely on external intervention.
It’s about nurturing your body’s natural ability to rejuvenate, repair and thrive.
To achieve self-healing, it’s critical to recognize the mind-body connection. Our thoughts and emotions have a profound effect on our physical well-being. Negative thoughts and feelings such as stress, worry, anxiety, fear and resentment can all manifest as physical symptoms. Self-healing addresses these underlying emotional and mental issues to begin the healing process.
Finding Silver Linings On The Dark Days
The sky was dark this morning. Overcast, miserable, wet and windy. Not the best way to start any day.
To make matters worse, after several very busy days with readings, I had one of those rare “goose egg” days. Not a single client called me all day!
Halfway through my shift, I realized that my mind was starting to brew up all kinds of negative thoughts. Idle hands are indeed the devil’s workshop. Fortunately, I was able to nip it in the bud by the end of my shift. The last thing I needed in this miserable weather was to plunge myself into a pity party.
Instead, I gently coaxed myself back into a state of calm, centered inner peace and gratitude. After all, I have a lot to be thankful for in my life!
I also had to remind myself that I no longer have all my eggs in one basket. I have learned the hard way over the past few years to diversify my income, and I also have a nest egg in the bank for a rainy day.
Those of us who have been on a long and challenging journey to a better life realize that having a totally negative day is sometimes a necessary part of the process of self-improvement and greater fulfillment. If things were always easy and perfect, we would have no motivation to strive for anything better.
How To Be More Present In Your Life
We often hear the advice that ‘being present’ is an important spiritual practice to master on our journey through life. Being present with ourselves and in the moment. I like to think of it as being with yourself wherever you go and whatever you do. This is certainly true, but what exactly does it mean? And with all the busyness of life and keeping up with our daily responsibilities, how do you become more present in your life?
Firstly, cultivating ‘presence’ requires time management and effective planning. It is important to organise the responsibilities of our lives in a manageable way. Otherwise, we find ourselves in a constant state of worry and stress, having to manage daily demands ‘on the fly’. And this is a sure way to lose our presence.
Planning ahead may seem like the opposite of being ‘in the moment’, but it is actually essential. When we are busy making plans for the coming week, thinking about what we need to prepare for and making decisions about how to organise our time and spend our energy, we don’t think much about the ‘present moment.’ But this is something we need to do in order to then be more present in our daily lives. It is key to cultivating presence.