spiritual self-care
Heal Your Toxic Family Legacy With Ancestral Guidance
Our loved ones in spirit are aware of things that we cannot see. Once they have crossed over to the other side, they begin to connect with us through signs and synchronicities, as well as in the dream state, to guide us on our life journey.
One of the life challenges they can assist with is healing generational trauma and breaking the cycle of toxic family abuse. In their new state of higher consciousness, they are now able to clearly see how they may have wronged us while they were here, and how they contributed to a dysfunctional ancestral legacy, often going back many generations.
As part of their own life review and soul evolution process in the afterlife, they want to provide us with insight and guidance, to help us undo some of the mistakes they made and break the family curse of dysfunction and abuse, so that we can be blessed with healing, joy and unconditional love.
I have channeled many readings for clients over the years to offer them this type of guidance from their loved ones and ancestors in spirit. The spiritual guidance they received proved to be of great value in their lives and brought much peace and healing to their families, as well as their romantic relationships and marriages.
Some of the self-care goodies and nuggets of divine wisdom that my clients have received from spirit over the years include:
Make The Most Of Your Next Saturn Return
Saturn can be a very challenging, difficult planetary influence because of the astrological phenomenon known as Saturn Return, which occurs every 27 to 30 years, which is the duration of its orbit around the Sun back to the same place in the galaxy where it was at the time of our birth. It literally returns to the same zodiac sign, degree, and house.
The three Saturn Return in our lifetime occurs around the ages of 27 to 31; 56 to 60, and 84 to 90. Although it is possible to estimate your dates using an online calculator, it may be best to have it calculated by an experienced astrologer.
This major astrological aspect is not to be taken lightly. Saturn Return is associated with major life transitions and personal upheaval. Such as relationship breakups, divorce, relocations, health challenges, and major career, business, or lifestyle changes.
It is a highly self-reflective time when we must contemplate our path, evaluate the choices we have made thus far, and carefully consider what is no longer serving us. People often get sober, get divorced, get married, change jobs, or decide to have children during this time.
Saturn Return exposes our dysfunctional habits and past mistakes, and we gain a new perspective on our life. If we carefully work through these challenges and redefine ourselves on a deeper level, we are empowered to move into a new and improved next chapter of our life.
My first Saturn return included personal growth and healing work brought on by two dysfunctional relationships.
The first was a crush I had on an older boy when I was 11 years old. I have since been shown that I have shared several past lives with him. This time he wanted nothing to do with me, because I was just the “weird psychic kid.”
The Ghosts Of Regret
As part of my training as a spiritual life coach, our class was asked to do a profound exercise. Our task was to imagine ourselves on our deathbed someday, being visited by a gathering of ghosts. We had to imagine these ‘ghosts’ from our past as being very bitter and angry, because they represented all the things we never achieved or succeeded in, coming back to haunt us. They were the ghosts of our unfulfilled goals and dreams returning to die along with us.
We were asked to then review our life and imagine what we would say to ourselves and our ‘ghosts,’ now that our life is over. What would we advise ourselves to do if we could go back in time, get a second chance, and somehow live our life anew?
For me, this was a very thought-provoking process. The first thought for me was my personal ‘bucket list’ of things I still want to experience in this lifetime. For example, I still want to travel on the Orient Express train with my family; see the view from The Shard (a 72-storey skyscraper in London); fly down The Grand Canyon; and witness the splendor of Niagara Falls.
There are many things I still hope to also do. But why have I not done at least some of it yet? Too busy earning a living? Yes, we all get busy, and most of us need to work. However, does this mean we cannot also lead a fuller life?
The next thought the deathbed exercise brought up for me was a sad memory from a few years ago, when my late brother was receiving rehabilitation treatment at a local hospital. We were very close as siblings. He confided in me one day, while we sat looking out the hospital window and saw a young family walking by, that he often feels intense regret and sadness when he sees people with their kids and grandkids, while he had no offspring of his own.
Protect Yourself From Negative Energy Attachments
A neighbor once asked me to smudge her home and bless it, because she felt there was a lot of negative energy there. She could just ‘feel it.’ People lived below her that she could hear arguing until late hours in the night, using foul language. They would chain smoke too, to the extent that it would rise up through the floorboards. It made her feel sick and caused her to have migraine headaches. Apart from that there were also some old ‘cobwebs’ of trapped negative energy that she wanted me to some and clean out.
She had been dealing with the ups and downs of depression for as long I’ve known her. She is one of the sweetest people you could ever hope to meet, let alone have as a neighbor. She is very kind and always there if you need her. She would be very social at times, inviting friends from church over and entertaining friends regularly, for several weeks, and then she would suddenly feel overwhelmed by the chaos and drama of the people around her, feel drained and depressed, and withdraw from everyone. Then you would not see her for weeks, sometimes months.
I told her I felt that she needed to protect herself energetically and shared with her ways that she can do this. I explained to her that sometimes, when we engage with people, we can pick up some of their negative energies. Even if they are seemingly good people, who go to church and so on, it doesn’t necessarily mean that these people are free from negative energies, or worse, unwanted spirit attachments.
How To Ground Your Energy
‘Grounding’ is a common term you are likely to encounter early in your spiritual awakening journey. If you are interested in energy work of any kind, grounding is a key technique to help you stay energetically balanced and enhance your metaphysical practice.
Essentially grounding is a type of meditation that is quick and very intentional. Through grounding we connect our own energy field or light body with the energy of the Earth. This balances our chakras by clearing out those energies that are no longer serve us. Connecting to the Earth’s energy in this way releases negative patterns, thoughts, emotions, and habits, to achieve a clearer, elevated state of consciousness.
To become more grounded, try this visualization exercise. Start by closing your eyes and focusing on your breathing. If you are used to meditation this will be very familiar, if not that is okay! Just be present with your breath and pay attention to your breathing as you inhale and exhale.
Count to three as you draw in your breath, and again as you exhale. Gradually slow the rhythm of your breathing down and just be present with the experience of the air moving in through your nose and into your chest. Feel your physical body around you as you breathe.
I like to focus on my heart chakra while I do this, but it is not necessary. I just find that as I breathe in and out, I like to feel the swell of air in my chest, as if is ‘hugging my heart.’
Karmic Healing Inspired By Our Ancestors
I recently completed a pharmacy volunteer assignment at the American Red Cross. On my final shift, one of the phlebotomists gave me a T-shirt as a parting gift. It is printed with the slogan: Be Cool. Give Blood.
That T-shirt turned out to be a sign from spirit! It synchronistically brought up memories of one of my favorite mentors, and prompted a thought process regarding the role of our ancestors in karmic healing, and our soul family contracts, at a moment in time that I most needed it and found deeply meaningful.
In pharmacy school, I had an eccentric professor who used unconventional teaching methods and famously wore Snoopy™ and Joe Cool™ apparel to class. To us he was much like the character John Keating or “Captain” in the popular film Dead Poets Society (1989). As pharmacy students we usually attended mostly stodgy scientific lectures, therefore we simply loved his unconventional, fun approach!
I distinctly remember one of the topics we discussed in his curriculum was ‘empathy in healthcare.’ Little did I realize at the time how his teachings would someday inspire me in my work as psychic advisor.
In 1994, on the first day of our social and administrative classes, our beloved professor was tragically diagnosed with colon cancer. He passed away seven years later in 2001.
Dealing With Ancestral Karmic Debt
When a loved one crosses over, they transcend this dimension to enter the next. In the spirit dimension we revert from human ego consciousness back to universal consciousness, and our awareness is no longer limited by time and space.
I like to think of our constantly evolving soul or spirit as ‘cookie dough.’ When we cross over and revert to the broader perspective of universal consciousness, our soul energy is like a ball of dough that has been proofing for a lifetime.
As the Universe, or the Divine Cookie-Maker, rolls out the dough of our returning soul, there will be some karmic ‘lumps.’ These lumps are the unwise choices, mistakes, transgressions, missed opportunities, failures, crimes, and sins for which we didn’t make amends during this lifetime. It then becomes our karmic debt.
Some of these karmic debts go back many generations and have become part of the ancestral legacy of our soul family. It has sometimes dire consequences for everyone we are spiritually connected to in this life and the next. It becomes a shared responsibility for the entire soul family, for which someone needs to step up at some point to break the cycle.
Making amends and striving towards karmic healing is therefore not just something we do for our own sake, but also for those that came before us, and especially for those who will come after us.
Our ancestors on the Other Side are also continually striving to resolve their karmic debts, and for this they may need our help and support. If we hold them, or ourselves, in a state of unforgiveness, they cannot move forward with their karmic healing, or the next stages of their soul journey.