memories
Grieving The Loss Of Loved Ones With Grace
Few of us have not experienced the loss of a loved one, a parent, a partner or even a child. Most of us have also witnessed or experienced the many ways in which people try to cope with such an insurmountable loss.
Coping with the huge gaping hole that such a loss leaves in our lives can have a negative impact on people’s behaviour. Some turn to extremes: alcohol, drug abuse, overeating, prescription drugs, or any of the other things people use to numb their pain and deflect the overwhelming feelings associated with loss and grief.
What we ultimately learn is that there is no set time frame in which such profound pain can be dealt with. It can take weeks, months, years or even decades for some. But even when the worst is over, we never really get over the sense of loss. We simply learn to cope and get on with our lives, forever changed, as best we can.
However, the greatest tribute we can pay the loved ones we have lost is to grieve with grace and dignity. Abusing substances or indulging in other distractions may temporarily numb our pain, but how does that honour the memory of the one we professed to care so much about? It also does not allow us to confront and process our emotions in a healthy and constructive manner. Grieving is natural and necessary. When we try to avoid our grief, we miss out on opportunities for personal growth, self-reflection, and ultimately finding peace with the loss.
My First Foray Into Ribbon Psychometry
Like “riding a bicycle,” spiritual knowledge and skills, once learned, are never lost or forgotten. Even if you haven’t practiced or used a certain skill for a long time, you can always quickly pick it up again because it is stored in your soul memory.
There is a certain degree of permanence in spiritual growth and learning. Spiritual learning is very different from the acquisition of academic knowledge or vocational skills. Soul growth and spiritual development flows from deeply personal experiences, profound moments of insight, and personal transformations that forever change our soul essence at a fundamental level.
Our soul memory is essentially the memory bank of our higher self. It is like stored layers of enlightenment or the akashic records that preserve all of our acquired spiritual wisdom and abilities, making them readily accessible after periods or even lifetimes of non-use or neglect.
I was reminded of this fact at a recent mediumship event I attended where a medium demonstrated some of the psychic techniques and methods she had relied on in her own psychic development journey.
Decades ago, I attended a psychic development course at the Arthur Findlay College of Spiritualism and Psychic Sciences in Essex, England. During the course we did a fun exercise in which we practiced “ribbon psychometry.”
Your Divine Duty To Not Be A Goofus!
Why are some people so rude, unkind, emotionally immature, foolish? Are we not all spirit beings in human form who should know better? I recently asked my wise grandmother in spirit this question. As one of my ancestral guides, I always turn to her for help in dealing with complex life issues.
The person who inspired my recent spiritual inquiry is a very problematic, mean-spirited neighbor who I have seen and heard verbally abuse people, as well as his own dog, in ways that would infuriate anyone.
This man seems to enjoy verbal abuse as a means of self-aggrandizement and is very immature and unkind. I have also seen him damage a security camera after being asked to stop his dog from relieving himself on the steps of the building where we live.
I connected with my grandmother during my morning meditation and asked her why some people are so disrespectful and unkind. Her answer seemed strange at first because she showed me a mental image of Highlights, the children’s magazine she used to subscribe to for me when I was a child. It is a well-known kids’ magazine full of fun, educational stories, games, puzzles, and crafts that has been around for decades.
Breaking The Pattern Of Relationship Trauma
Today I did two consecutive readings for clients who are obsessed with a relationship from a long time ago. They both wondered why the relationship ended and what could have been if things had gone differently.
In retrospect, there have been many similar calls recently. I have even had clients who have had vivid dreams and nightmares about a particular ex-love, lost friend or estranged family member.
In all cases, I find that Spirit consistently offers the same guidance. These haunted thoughts and obsessions are due to a lack of closure and unresolved trauma. Spirit has also indicated that there is a growing epidemic of loneliness in the world. Because of this, more and more people are dwelling on old relationships and their regrets.
This has even happened to me recently, with people from my past that I have not thought of or seen in years coming to mind more and more. It can be surprising and disconcerting to have such random memories pop up. Spirit gave me exactly the same wake-up call. These memories are a sign that there is a need for forgiveness and healing. It is essentially a form of delayed grief, when instead we should be having happy and fond memories of the people in our past.
I find it helps to remember that they, like me, were just doing the best they could with what they knew and had at the time. When someone has shown signs of unkindness or aggression, I have also come to realize that it was the result of their own hurts, losses, or disappointments.
The True Meaning Of Holiday Gifts
While wrapping Christmas gifts for family and friends today, I thought about whether it is better to be on the giving or receiving end of presents during the holiday season?
In my childhood, receiving presents was undoubtedly the best! But my parents also taught me the importance of giving. They gave my sister and me a small allowance during the holidays to buy gifts for others. It was fun to shop for small items to give to our loved ones. With much anticipation, wetried to pick things that people would actually like and appreciate.
I therefore learned early on that while receiving gifts can be exciting and fun, giving them can be even more rewarding.
My parents were certainly on to something, because the value of giving has been scientifically proven to be more than just a sweet sentiment. For example, according to a study by the American Psychological Association, giving to others increases life expectancy by at least five years! Another study found that people who give to others experience lower blood pressure, less depression, and lower stress levels. In addition, giving to others can increase happiness and well-being. A Harvard Business School study found that giving money to someone else increased participants’ happiness more than spending it on themselves.
The Miraculous Roll Of Film
I have experienced many miracles and magical events in my life. As you read the following incredible story, you will see why I have chosen this particular one to best illustrate my experiences.
When I was 18 years old, I was working at a pre-school in my home town. One of the pupils was a three-year-old girl with whom I felt a real connection. She was an old soul; a bright and talented young artist.
But she usually came to school with unwashed, unbrushed hair and dirty clothes. She would never bring a packed lunch. When her parents came to collect her from school, they were often late and, unlike the other children, she did not run into their arms. There was clearly a disconnect between parent and child.
Eventually I moved several hours away and stopped working at the school. But I still thought of her often and prayed that she was well. A few years after I left, I made some enquiries, but no one knew what had happened to her. I hope she survived her difficult childhood and continued to create art, which I believed may have been her saving grace.
Two decades later, I was visiting the area around my hometown to go hiking with friends in a nearby national park. One day, one of my friends climbed a big rock and I followed him. Then he jumped down and I noticed what looked like something he had accidentally left behind.
“Hey, you dropped your roll of film up here,” I shouted, holding up the roll I’d found on the rock. But it turned out not to be his film and that someone else must have left it there. Maybe that person had the same idea of climbing the rock to take some pictures of the magnificent view.
Raising An Old Soul
We have more people on the planet now than ever before. That means we have more old souls, and more new ones. Many parents are raising old souls and are struggling with how different it is from the information in all of the parenting books and blogs out there.
If your child is an old soul, which is one who has lived many past lives, they probably were your parent at one time. On some level they know and remember this and may challenge your authority, and change in roles. Thus, the power struggle so many parents go through.
I have been working with children for decades and have had many of them tell me their past life stories. I’ve heard, “I used to be a princess” and “I used to have a sister” or “My mom says we’re not having another baby, but I know I have a little brother coming!”
I’ve also had children tell me how they died in another life or how their mom isn’t their “real” mom. One boy told me he remembered being born. He remembered leaving the light and coming through a tunnel. It was a difficult decision to come back to Earth.
Another gifted child I worked with was able to find lost items, when his parents asked him where something was that had been misplaced. Just the faith that they had in him and the unquestioning belief that he could find these items helped him open up an invaluable gift that will serve him and others in life. Old souls also tend to have unusual or extraordinary gifts, talents and interests which should be nurtured for the greater good.