life review
Work Through The Fear, Obligation And Guilt (FOG)
Reflecting on my life I have found how many of my early life experiences have subconsciously influenced me, mostly due to a lack of awareness that allowed fear, a sense of obligation and guilt to remain hidden.
These hidden influences mostly come from my formative years and became obstacles I had to repeatedly struggle with in my adult life with regards relationships, career, finances, family and community.
Once I discovered these non-empowering beliefs, it was time for me to get out of the FOG (Fear, Obligation, Guilt). In hindsight, several things I was unaware of in my family’s dynamics, were actually ‘seeds’ hidden beneath the surface that in time sprouted into personal challenges and self-sabotage.
Fear
Fear and insecurity are frequent visitors for many of us in all areas of life. I was constantly focused on the negative and worst-case scenarios. This is because our brain is wired this way for the purpose of survival. Much of it also depends on our upbringing. So, we must recognize this and catch ourselves early on, in order to shift our thoughts and emotions in a positive direction.
We must be cognitive of our behaviors and explore where in our life we have learned these negative, fear-based responses. Fear is a natural part of life, but can easily become a ‘whack-a-mole’ of frustration, anxiety, uncertainty and indecision, always showing up at the most inconvenient times.
Still Hanging On To The Wrong Person?
Are you still hanging on to the wrong person? I know you adore him. I know you love her. I understand that you believe you are soulmates and ‘meant to be.’
But be aware that your beloved has free will. If they are not exactly alignment with you, no matter how you strongly feel about them, nothing will come of your ‘situationship.’ They are on their own journey and you cannot will someone to be your lover or life partner. It is nothing more than the beginning of a colossal heartbreak.
I have witnessed many love-struck people hang on for years to someone that has either left them for good, or kept stringing them along. Some of them have even married and had children with someone else, and yet, they still hang on. They often fervently believe their love interest will someday return to them and then they will live happily ever after. Well, the truth of the matter is that they will not. The other person has made their choice and walked away for a reason.
This new year, with all that has been going on in the world, it may be time to take a few deep breaths and have a self-reflective moment. Take a good, hard look at your life choices and your relationships.
If you are making unwise, self-sabotaging choices, consider what it may be that is not feeding your soul? What is it that is really missing in your life? Maybe it is time to release what no longer serves you. Simply let it go. Find your inner peace, and just be happy and content with yourself and who you truly are.
As a psychic advisor, I encounter the good, the bad and the ugly. I have seen much trauma and damage done, sometimes almost irreparable, to people in toxic relationships and love obsessions. Marriages of several years simply falling apart or ‘trusted’ partner walking out with zero notice. I have watched many go through failed relationship after failed relationship, always with the same results. The result is always the same: excruciating heartbreak.
When the victims of these bad relationship choices are encouraged to do some soul-searching, to see what it is inside of them that is compelling them to go back to the same type of person, time and time again, they are offended and become angry.
Embracing The Shadow
When I first began to intentionally and consciously walk a spiritual path, I remember doing so because it just felt so right. Every step I took toward ‘enlightenment’ in this lifetime seemed to bring more brightness into my life, and so many more blessings.
In those early days I was really rolling! I was expecting this to be an easy ride – all joy and light and love. It was wonderful.
What I hadn’t expected was the inevitable emergence of my shadow through as a result of all my spiritual work. And it was not something I was going to be comfortable with – admitting I had places of darkness within me, unloved aspects of myself, disowned pieces of my soul which had been abandoned and in such pain.
Through a series of, what seemed like, unfortunate events, I was given opportunities to face my shadow side. Challenges in relationships with friends and loved ones arose. I couldn’t understand it at first, and felt very alone and misunderstood. I was shifting the blame for this onto the people around me, instead of going inward.
Going inward, into the light, was totally okay, but going inward into the darkness was terrifying. My ego-self raised every defense to keep me from going there. Eventually, I could avoid it no longer.
My life at this point had endured tremendous change in the course of only a few years- so much so, that the entire landscape of my existence and the people in it were now different. While many of the changes were positive, the magnitude of the differences between my ‘old life’ and my ‘new life’ forced me into robust self-reflection.
Where did I want to go with my life? What did I want to do? And who was I going to be? I must admit, these were heavy questions, and I absolutely felt the weight of them. In addition, I was healing from a personal loss, and that was taking more time than I wanted it to.
My ‘aha moment’ came when I was lamenting one day about my relationship with my partner. I had identified that I wanted a deeper level of connection, but felt that he was unwilling to meet me there.
Slay Those Demons This Festive Season!
In my many years on God’s earth, I can earnestly say I feel I have ‘slain more dragons’ than St. George, ‘cast out more demons’ than the priest in The Exorcist, and conquered much bigger giants than young Jack when he climbed up that beanstalk. I am not hoping to gain sympathy by saying this, but merely to state that if I can put down my personal demons, with Spirit’s help of course, then I could help you do the same.
The year 2020 has been one of far too many challenges for most of us. Some of us have had to deal with unusual difficulties and challenges we may have never encountered otherwise. For me, it began with a cancer scare, then continued with the outbreak of the Covid-19 pandemic, and ended with me supporting my husband through a bout of deep depression. Indeed, 2020 is a year I will never forget, as much as I may want to!
However, my guides have been reminding me that I have also gained some blessings from this year. For one, I would say that my inner resolve has grown much stronger, and my desire to be of service and help others have reached an all-time high.
I am not suggesting that everyone must have reasons to appreciate the challenges this year brought, but as 2020 draws to a close, I do hope that the following practical strategies may help you to ‘slay some demons’ and end this year on a more positive note, in order to start next year with more optimism, hope and joy.
Find An Inspiring Role-Model
The one person who has always given me a sense of strength is the late Martin Luther King. He famously said, “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”
Whenever I am in a difficult, stressful situation, I always ask myself what would Martin Luther King do in my situation? In fact, I even imagine him by my side, giving me all the strength and motivation that I need at any given time. You can do this too by finding yourself a hero or heroine that inspires you.
Time To Cleanse The ‘Energy Clutter’ Of 2020
The year 2020 is coming to an end. It has been a challenging year for most of us, to say the least. Some have lost everything that they thought was important in their lives, while others discovered what truly is important in their lives.
In many cases, the material and superficial things that we used to cherish so much have now been replaced by the simple longing to just hug a loved one, touch a friend’s hand, or just be part of a crowd of like-minded people at a music festival or sports event.
It has indeed been an exceedingly difficult year for our relationships, social life, careers, businesses, finances, and especially our mental health and well-being. The lockdowns, social distancing and mask wearing (or lack thereof) has been taking its toll.
Mental illness is said to at an all-time high, and suicides rates have increased significantly. Families will be celebrating the holidays this year without one or more of their family members, and many are having to grieve the tragic passing of a loved one.
You may look at all this stress, chaos and suffering, and ask yourself if any possible good can come from the events and circumstances of the past year?
Well, I do believe 2020 to be the best opportunity we will ever have in our lifetime to truly find the deeper meaning and purpose of life. This is the ideal time to identify everything that is not important in our lives and release what no longer serves us.
This is a time to cleanse your aura, clear your vibration, and discard the ‘energy clutter’ in your life. Loving and caring for yourself is fundamental at the moment. Be kind to yourself and do not judge yourself harshly for things you have no control over. Just do the best you can with what you have and take it one day at a time. We are simply being sidelined for a period of time. This to shall pass.
White sage is my go-to for clearing my living space and my personal energies. When bad vibes and negative energy clutter start to pile up, I take a few moments to simply breathe and relax, cleanse my aura with white sage, then breathe again. It lifts my inner being.
We Are All Worthy Of Forgiveness
Sometimes my brokenhearted clients ask when the person they love will also hurt the way they have been hurt by them. They have been wounded, sometimes very deeply, and they so desperately want to know that the one who hurt them will also suffer in the end. Preferably, a lot!
They desire retribution for all the pain, suffering and deceit they have suffered due this person. There has to be some kind of justice. Isn’t there some form of karma, they will ask pleadingly.
Some spiritual teachings and belief systems suggest that our most emotionally challenging experiences in this lifetime occur as a result of life lessons we have agreed upon with other souls, before being born into this particular lifetime. This concept is known as our life plan, soul agreement or soul contract, among other.
These challenges can present themselves as blockages and patterns, that we aspire to finally recognize on a soul level and then to rise above – too often after repeating the same lessons many times over during this lifetime and others.
Yes, it makes sense to me that there is a profound lesson in harsh, life-changing experiences, but it’s not so easy to see it that way, and to believe it could be something we would have agreed to, especially when we hurt so badly now.
Leaving Your Spiritual Footprint
A footprint is an impression left behind by a human foot or shoe on the ground or some other surface. If you have ever been at the beach, you have probably noticed that this is the one place where a footprint is so easily and readily left behind. It I also not too difficult to determine if the impression was left by a an adult, or a small child. But have you gone any further than merely noticing those footprints? Have you ever wondered where does the person live who left that footprint? What is their education and career? What is their current relationship status? What is the life and legacy embedded in each of those imprints?
Human souls also leave behind their ‘metaphysical footprint’ by fulfilling their spiritual calling and soul purpose in their lifetime. The more exceptional or extraordinary ones are written about in our history books. They are great teachers, prophets and spiritual leaders that have left a discernible legacy behind when they departed from this world. When any person takes on a cause, with sometimes the most forceful opposition, to create an new and improved world for the common good, it is always an indicator that a spiritual footprint is being made.
Saint Teresa of Calcutta, simply known as Mother Theresa, for example, is certainly a spiritual icon that has left a well-established footprint of compassion, kindness and charity that continues to be recognized all over the world. We do not expect her to have been a perfect person, but the sincerity and love that she professed for some of the most spurned and downtrodden cannot be denied by anyone. It is to me abundantly clear that she indeed left a footprint of love, compassion and acceptance which equates at the end of the day to her being totally connected to and aligned with spirit.