Work Through The Fear, Obligation And Guilt (FOG)

Reflecting on my life I have found how many of my early life experiences have subconsciously influenced me, mostly due to a lack of awareness that allowed fear, a sense of obligation and guilt to remain hidden.

These hidden influences mostly come from my formative years and became obstacles I had to repeatedly struggle with in my adult life with regards relationships, career, finances, family and community.

Once I discovered these non-empowering beliefs, it was time for me to get out of the FOG (Fear, Obligation, Guilt). In hindsight, several things I was unaware of in my family’s dynamics, were actually ‘seeds’ hidden beneath the surface that in time sprouted into personal challenges and self-sabotage.

Fear

Fear and insecurity are frequent visitors for many of us in all areas of life. I was constantly focused on the negative and worst-case scenarios. This is because our brain is wired this way for the purpose of survival. Much of it also depends on our upbringing. So, we must recognize this and catch ourselves early on, in order to shift our thoughts and emotions in a positive direction.

We must be cognitive of our behaviors and explore where in our life we have learned these negative, fear-based responses. Fear is a natural part of life, but can easily become a ‘whack-a-mole’ of frustration, anxiety, uncertainty and indecision, always showing up at the most inconvenient times.

 If you have toxic emotions of fear, guilt, and depression, it is because you have wrong thinking, and you have the wrong thinking because of wrong believing ~ Joseph Prince

Obligation

You may believe you never feel obligated, that you choose to do what you want, that you are the boss of your life. But it is the subtle, moral-like sense of obligation that often get to us, instead of the legal, or duty-related obligations. These moral obligations stem from our values and beliefs.

For example, feeling obligated as a teenager to take care of a younger sibling. It may be well-intended and from the heart, but in time too much responsibility at such a young age may lead to resentment, and potentially an adult life of self-sacrificing or people-pleasing.

Being pressured into something can trigger the feeling of ‘obligation.’ What areas of your life can you remember feeling obligated? Did you feel obligated to stay in a toxic relationship for the sake of the kids? Did you feel obligated to pursue a certain career to please your parents? Reflect on where obligation may currently be present in your life.

With everything that has happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself, or treat what has happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow, or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose ~ Wayne W. Dyer

Guilt

Guilt also raises its ugly head in our lives, often from a young age. The extreme sense of guilt we sometimes impose on ourselves can be life-altering and self-destructive. Spirit of tells me to encourage a client to release the guilt.

Some of us take things very personally and easily go on guilt trips. “If you really cared about me, you would do this for me,” or “I am there for you, but you are never there for me”, or “How could you even do this to me?” Always remember that you can never make yourself poor, unhappy or unhealthy enough to ensure that someone else will be richer, happier or healthier.

We all have some FOG to clear. As we learn to understand these influences from the subconscious mind, we can lessen its impact in our life. Turning fear, obligation and guilt into transformational positive energy is the best thing we can do for ourselves. We become empowered, more balanced and confident in all aspects of life, and can move forward to achieving our goals and dreams. Work through your FOG.