life lessons
Resentment And The Empath
Do you have a tendency to re-experience past injustices — real or perceived – while holding on to those old feelings of anger connected to them? If so, it means you are harboring some form of resentment. Empaths are especially prone to resentment, simply because we tap into emotions, past, present, and future, much more than most people.
Resentment forms when we become angry towards a person or situation, and then hold onto that anger. Some people harbor their resentments for many years, refusing to let go of it. Over time, whatever caused the original anger and initially led to the resentment, may be forgotten, but the resentment remains. It is like a still-smoldering ember left after the flames of a fire have subsided. The fire no longer rages, but the ember remains smoldering, and all it takes is a spark to set that fire raging again.
For the empath this rekindled ‘fire’ may be triggered every time they enter a new relationship. No harm has been done, yet, but the empath may be so on guard, and overly vigilant to any slight that resembles their past hurt, that it easily sets off another destructive blaze. They expect the worst and try to protect themselves against it, but in the process the thing they fear the most may re-emerge from the past, unhealed resentment.
For many empaths, lack of boundaries also lead to dashed expectations, typically followed by resentment. As an empath, you feel the heart of the person, and know that there is love. Once connected into the, “I know they love me,” their bad behavior can be overlooked. Continue reading
The True Meaning Of Surrender
When life becomes too challenging, and things begin to fall apart for us, we usually seek spiritual guidance and comfort. And in these circumstances we often tend to hear terms like surrender, release and acceptance. We are told to just let it go and simply be in the moment.
But what does it really mean to surrender? It’s a term often used in spiritual and metaphysical circles. Is there even such a thing? And if so, what does it entail? According to the dictionary, surrender means to stop fighting and admit defeat. It also conjures up the vision of waving a white flag. But is spiritual surrender truly nothing more than throwing in the towel, and graciously accepting our defeat?
I prefer to explore the meaning of spiritual ‘surrender’ through the metaphor of a painting I made, which is my way of meditating and reflecting on life. The painting is of an angel and I even named it Surrender. I chose this name, because it is the energy this angel emanates. His pose and posture also symbolizes the act of surrender.
At the time of working with the energy of this piece, I was in the process of leaving the security of a mainstream finance career, to establish myself as a full-time artist, energy healer and spiritual reader. Meanwhile, I was also very busy navigating a family separation and divorce. There were so many major changes in my life, and so much about my future and my life path that remained uncertain and unknown.
During my painting time, I felt connected to an energy that provide me with wise counsel. It was during a time in my life when I wasn’t feeling grounded in my own wisdom, and I needed a way to feel into it. This painting for me became the bridge in my understanding, as I navigated my new life changes.
How To Overcome Negative Thought Patterns
There are times when one may be feeling very serene, and completely at peace with ourselves and the world. One may even be feeling highly satisfied with the spiritual growth and personal healing you have accomplished thus far. Then, quite unexpectedly, you lose your sense of alignment. You suddenly feel ‘disconnected’ from the source of our being.
This feeling is especially triggered when one feels overwhelmed by life’s responsibilities, or the constant demands of others. And once we slip into this negative state of mind, many deeply buried, unpleasant memories tend to emerge in our consciousness in the form of haunting ‘flashbacks.’
I recently heard a friend referring to this experience as cognitive distortion. We can so easily begin to catastrophize, and expect the ‘other shoe to drop,’ once our anxiety level becomes this amplified. The mind is powerful and under these circumstances we tend to indulge in a lot of ‘what if’ thinking. The mind races, imagining all the worst case scenarios as potential outcomes.
This kind of catastrophic thinking typically takes our mind into two directions. Firstly, it puts a truly negative spin on the current situation. And secondly, it causes us to anticipate all the many, many things that could possibly go wrong in the future.
Polarized thinking is another problem for some of us. This thought pattern is when we only see things in terms of right or wrong, and this can lead to setting unachievable standards for ourselves and others, as well as send our stress levels through the roof! Polarized thinking crops up when we find ourselves basing our hopes and expectations on, for example, getting that dream job, impressing other people, finding our soulmate, becoming famous, and so on.
Feeling Like You’re Not Good Enough
Sometimes we put our heart and soul into a relationship, only to get cheated on, or dumped for no reason. The main question that usually comes to mind in this type of situation is, “Why am I not good enough?”
Take a moment and consider the relationships of relatives and friends, who have gone through similar a experience. Some people are able to jump right up and move forward, while others sit and wallow in self-doubt and self-loathing – sometimes for years.
Working with many people over the years, one of the biggest eye openers for me has been that it is typically the partner who is left behind, and then struggles to move forward, who compromised the most in the relationship. They usually gave, and gave, and gave, and didn’t receive much in return. Their needs always took a backseat in the relationship. They would sacrifice more and more, until there was nothing left for them to give, while their partner did not change and simply kept using and abusing them.
If you constantly compromise on what you really want from a relationship, the union will at some point simply disintegrate. The other person is never going to magically become someone different. That person you hoped they would become, after you moved in, or after you gave a little more, or after you married them, or after you had a child with them…never shows up. What you see in someone from the start, is simply who they are.
Our Loved Ones In The Realm Next Door
Someone very close to me recently had an unusual near-death experience. It was a profound event she says she will never forget, and it reminded me of the fact that our loved ones are always around us, whether we believe it, or not.
My dear friend had to go into the hospital for an iron infusion. She was severely deficient and the iron supplements she had been taking, weren’t doing the trick. Not looking forward to the procedure, and having been told that she could have an adverse reaction to the infusion, she was not at all excited to go to the emergency room.
Soon after they started the infusion, she passed out! But this was more than just her fainting. While she was in this altered state of consciousness, she had repeated encounters with both her deceased parents. She felt their warm embrace comforting her and telling her all was going to be okay, and not to worry.
“We are both with you, we love you and we are here protecting you,” they told her. “It is not your time, you still have things you have to do and people around you who love you, and care a lot about you, and need you.”
The experience was quite traumatic for my friend. She came to twice, and then passed out again. Three times in total. Being that she is over 70, and considered very weak for her age, the medical staff were concerned for her safety. Thankfully, all went well in the end. Today she feels much stronger and has more energy, as her blood was build back up thanks to the iron infusion. But she says she doesn’t think she will be getting such an infusion again anytime soon!
My Catalyst Moment
Over thirty years ago, I faced a major crossroads in my life, and it became a monumental turning point. It was the catalyst moment that ultimately led me into full-time service as a psychic oracle and healer. I did not choose this path – it chose me. And today, I am beyond grateful for this calling.
In those days I had just about everything you can imagine to make me ‘happy.’ I was a highly successful, special risk broker for a prominent insurance company in London. I was one of only two women at the time to hold that distinction. I also attracted and owned all of the opulent trappings of success that came with such a distinguished position – the material things and luxuries our culture teaches us is supposed to make us happy and fulfilled.
I was proud of my work and had plenty of interesting things to do every day, both socially and professionally. But there remained persistent doubts and questions. Is there something more? Why wasn’t I satisfied? Why did I feel so restless and discontent?
You see, I knew, deep in my heart, I was not living the life that was calling me. And, boy, was it calling! It woke me up in the middle of the night. It created a lot of agitation and self-doubt. Why was I feeling this way? Is there something wrong with me? I even started questioning my sanity. I had everything I thought would make me happy. So, what was lacking? Why did I keep feeling that there was something missing? And, where would I find it?
Showing Up When Spirit Calls
Many years ago, while working in a clinical practice, I was called to lead a group of women who were survivors of domestic abuse. At that time, my role within the organization was strictly administrative. I had no clinical experience and quite frankly had serious misgivings about how well these women would be served through our agency’s poorly-funded, piecemeal program with severe limitations.
As we were on the verge of losing our contract altogether, the executive director burst into my office one morning and announced that I would be the interim director of the domestic violence program, in order to save the contract. I sat motionless, with a look of deep concern on my face.
Before I could respond verbally, my executive director began reviewing a county contract that outlined the qualifications of the new program director. As she flipped through the pages of the lengthy contract, my hope was that somewhere in bold writing there might be a job description that required a clinical background in Psychology or Social Work, but this was not the case.
I recall that same day reaching out to my dear friend and confidant, a fellow psychic and spiritual counselor who always helped me find clarity, especially when I felt completely lost in a situation. While my friend’s words were comforting and reassuring, she also shocked me out of my comfort zone. I wanted to hear from her an easy way to get out of my new job assignment, but she announced that I had a calling to help a group of women whose lives desperately needed to be changed.