life experience
Are You Stuck In Victim Mode?
We all have had at least one very bad experience in our lives: a twist of fate, a major setback, an intense trauma, a tragic loss. In these moments of extreme adversity, we are usually victims of circumstances beyond our control.
But these challenging life events typically serve a higher purpose. Everything happens for a reason. It is therefore vital that we gather whatever hard-earned wisdom, personal growth or self-empowerment we possibly can from such experiences. If we do not, our suffering would have been in vain.
We can only accomplish this if we get up, dust ourselves off, find resilience within, and courageously begin to move forward.
Sadly, some people tend to become stuck in victim mode long after these experiences. This obviously does not promote their personal growth and well-being, nor does it improve or change their life for better. On the contrary, as long as we remain trapped in a victim mentality, the negative life experience will have served no purpose and the hardship we suffered will have been in vain.
All the challenges, lessons and trials in our life are invitations and opportunities for us to grow and expand. This is true transformation. Easy lives are meaningless lives.
Now, we are sometimes allowed to complain and say ‘life sucks,’ because from at times we also get caught up in the learning and transformation processes of other people. However, we are also allowed to consciously reject that. We are not required to take on the lessons of others.
The Happiness Trinity
When a new year arrives, it is common for us to look back and wish we had done better in the previous year. To make matters worse, the past three years have been exceptionally difficult for all of us. All the more reason for us to now make a determined decision to strive for greater happiness in the coming year. But how does one achieve happiness?
The true nature of happiness has been a topic of debate since the beginning of time. Does anyone really know what true happiness is? There are many opinions, views and theories on the matter, but I believe in the end one’s personal happiness is something only you can truly define or measure for yourself.
With that said, no matter what our personal idea of true happiness might be, it will always require the foundation of three key elements: wellness of body, mind and soul. Without an optimal trinity of physical, mental, and spiritual health, one cannot truly live your best life.
A happy life begins first and foremost with physical health and self-care. Our lifestyle habits define the quality of our life. Constantly indulging in the short-term pleasures of unhealthy lifestyle choices will not ensure a happy life in the long-term. Happy people eat nutritious food, get enough exercise, sleep well, manage their stress levels, and aim to maintain a sensible work-life balance.
A sense of being happy itself is one of the countless emotions we experience in life, and while it’s not possible to always feel happy, we can still choose how we respond to life’s challenges. Choosing to see a difficult situation as an opportunity rather than an obstacle, and choosing faith over fear, are common traits among many accomplished people.
Nothing Tastes Sweeter Than Gratitude
During the holidays, most homes and businesses have their festive lights and decorations up. One of the parking lots in my neighborhood is currently featuring a flamboyant set of beautiful red lights that really struck me as I was driving by the other day. In fact, it caused a strong emotional reaction within me.
Now, what might be so profound or special about a display of red Christmas lights, you may wonder. It is, after all, a typical holiday decoration seen everywhere this time of year. So, what’s the big deal? Well, those lights set me off so much because it brought back precious memories of my childhood.
I grew up in a very small town in New Brunswick, Canada. My family struggled and we were very poor. However, that did not prevent my parents from ensuring that we still enjoyed a few rare luxuries and treats on special occasions.
The most memorable of these were the “barley toys,” as we used to call them. Every Christmas, it was the tradition for each of us to receive a packet of barley toys. Now, this has nothing to do with actual toys. Instead, a barley toy is a kind of clear sugar lollipop or sucker shaped like a toy. These translucent, glass-like candies traditionally come in whimsical shapes, including various animals, as well as ships, trains, cars and, of course, Santa Clause.
According to the Startup Candy Factory in Provo, Utah, one of the earliest clear toy candy makers in the United States, German immigrants brought this holiday tradition to America and original recipes for it can be traced back to the 1700s. It was originally called “barley candy,” because cane sugar was very scarce at the time, so early candy makers used the cheaper and more readily available barley sugar.
A Solstice Resolution For The Love Warriors
The December solstice is upon us toady. The Sun is currently directly above the Tropic of Capricorn in the Southern Hemisphere, marking the shortest day of the year in the Northern Hemisphere and the longest day of the year in the Southern Hemisphere. Traditionally, the solstice is the most spiritual time of the year in many cultures. The solstice season is a time to cultivate our soul purpose and life journey by reflecting on the year that has been, as well as the new year to come.
For me, 2022 has been a year of finding increased divine connection and inner strength and peace by expanding my psychic gifts. This year I have particularly focused on expanded my telepathic abilities to promote compassion, love and peace in turbulent, chaotic situations and an intolerant post-pandemic world.
I am proud to report that I have made significant progress. For example, many months ago, my daughter and I were on a public bus together, when the driver aggressively started yelling at a young passenger. He became so unhinged that he stopped the bus, ordered him to get out, and even started start throwing things after him. However, sending out ‘happy vibes’ was not yet my first line of defense back then. Instead, I resorted to calling 911. The city’s transport authorities ultimately dealt with the driver.
Recently, I was confronted with a similar situation, when a bus driver cussed out a child for not wearing a coat. But this time, instead of reporting the driver, I focused on bringing calm and safety telepathically to the driver and the other passengers. It worked, as she soon focused on other matters at hand, such as the flow of traffic, instead of escalating in her anger towards the child.
Messages From My Totems
Do you have a specific animal, bird, reptile, or insect that keeps catching your attention? I am not speaking of your dog or cat or pet bird, but of those that you repeatedly cross paths with in nature, or even in your dreams.
Each one of us has at least one totem or spirit animal, and sometimes more, that show up in some way throughout our lifetime. The term totem comes from the Ojibwa word ototeman and was introduced in English in the 18th century to refer to a ‘designated guardian spirit animal.’
When our totems show up, the most important thing is to recognize what is currently happening in your life, or what thoughts are going through your mind at the time you see it. You may also notice that whenever you are in turmoil you tend to see this specific creature (or creatures) more than when life is going smoothly.
Each totem is a symbolic representation with a specific message. They warn us of danger, or help us make important life decisions, or comfort us when we are struggling, or just bring a confirmation or a sense of peace.
They bring to us whatever we most need at the time they cross our paths. It is up to you to just trust the energy you are in when you come across one of these beautiful creatures.
Three totems that have been present in my life at specific times are the Eagle, the Owl and the Wolf. Each offered me specific support I needed at that time, and they brought me reassuring messages. At times they have also inspired me with confidence, power and strength when I most needed it. Below are a few examples of what these totems have represented to me. Maybe it will help you identify, understand, and trust your animal totems.
When Others Let Us Down
Many years ago, a skilled numerologist told me that her analysis showed that I am the kind of person who always does what she says she will do. “When you commit to getting something done, one can be very sure it will get done,” she said. Therefore, it always baffles me when people make plans with you, or promise to do something, and then they do not follow through. I tend to take it personally.
My late husband often spoke nostalgically of how, back in the day when he first went into business, a man’s handshake on an agreement or promise still meant something. Perhaps times have changed?
Clients often consult with me on similar disappointments in their lives. When they are let down by others, they contact me to seek answers as to why a someone in their life could have been so dismissive of them.
I have personally learned that some people are indeed sincere in the moment they make such promises or commitments, but then they become distracted or forget to follow through. This doesn’t worry them, as they do not have what I call the ‘hyperactive sense of responsibility’ that some of us do!
In a recent holding space healing session, I was surprised to discover that two incidents that occurred very long ago had caused an energy blockage for me. These events seem so minor compared to other instances that caused me much greater disappointment in later years. It reminded me that one should never underestimate influences during our formative years.
The first incident was when I was about fifteen years old, and I had made arrangements to meet up with one of my cousins. I took our arrangement very seriously and was gutted when she wasn´t home when I arrived at her house. I was even more devastated when I complained to my mother about it and she simply responded: “Oh well, don’t fuss over it. Maybe she was just busy.”
Less Is More When They ‘Know It All’
Some people just don’t like to hear the truth. Do you also know people who seem to avoid you, because they know you’re potentially going to say it like it is? They recognize you as a person who speaks the truth based on plain common sense.
I have known people who have very little common sense and really do not want help, advice, guidance or direction from anyone. They know it all. That is just the way it is with them. The ego can make us not want to take honest advice, and thus we do not have the advantage of learning and growing with help from others who may have more experience or wisdom. I have learned the fine art of silence when I am around these people. I feel awkward, because those who know what I do for a living realize that they are pretty much transparent in my eyes, when they are around me.
I especially have a very hard time when I am around certain people, because you see the damage they are doing to themselves and others. You want to share a better way with them, but you have to let them follow their own path. It may seem like an unnecessary struggle for them, but maybe they are supposed to go through all that pain and heartache. It may be a part of their unique spiritual journey towards soul growth.
Protect your energy by knowing when to practice the art of silence with people who ‘know it all.’ You can’t resonate with everyone, and it is especially pointless if they don’t appreciate it. Why use up all that precious energy if they are only going to be disrespectful?