life experience
Who’s To Say If It’s Good, Or Bad?
Who’s to say if it’s good, or bad? There is a wise Buddhist children’s story I often read to my son that answers this question.
A young boy tells his father in a panicked, desperate tone, that his horse has gone missing. He is obviously very distraught and terrified he will never see his horse again.
The father says, “Who is to say that this situation is good, or bad?”
The son, of course, is confused. How could the loss of his horse not be a bad thing?
They go out into the woods to search for the horse. After many long days, they eventually find the horse. It has since made friends with a wild horse.
The father turns to the son and says, “See? Now you have two horses!”
But on the way back home the son stumbles and injures his leg. Again, he is miserable and terribly distraught. He tells his dad this is the worst possible thing that could happen. Now he will not be able to ride his horse.
His father says, “Who is to say that this situation is good, or bad?”
Of course, the son is perplexed and cannot figure out how injuring his leg could possibly be a good thing?
A week later, some of the son’s friends come to visit him. They tell him that they have been commanded to head out to war, along with all men over the age of 18. They tell the son he is lucky to have broken his leg, because now he would not be required to go to war with them.
Over the years, I have known many people, especially energy healing clients and Yoga students, who had suffered serious illness or injury…who later said it actually saved their lives, or brought them significant personal and spiritual growth, joy, fulfilment, and even bliss.
When Two Souls Collide
Clients sometimes ask me if a recently deceased loved one or pet will eventually reincarnate and return to them. In my experience, they certainly do. Sometimes in this life, and certainly in a next life.
There have been times in my life when I would meet someone and there would be a kind of ‘knowing’ or a sense of familiarity about them, as if I had known them before. I believe we all have these experiences of soul recognition from time to time.
A clear sign for me that I am experiencing a soul recognition during such an encounter is that I feel my body tremble when making eye contact, or my hands are shaking. In my experience, the more intense the physical sensation, the more incarnations I may have had with that particular person.
I have had this experience with people who turned out to be someone I only briefly had contact with, but also others with whom I had more lasting relationships. I also experience this ‘knowing’ with my pets. It is something in the way their eyes connect with mine, as if to say. “Hello, it’s me. I’m back!”
One particular incident, which remains vividly etched in my mind, was an event I witnessed about a decade ago. Someone I knew had fallen pregnant when she was going through a difficult time in her life. Despite the father of the child not wanting to be involved, she decided to keep the baby, and she did her best to make sure her baby was going to have the best she could manage to offer her child.
I was very surprised when she asked me to be the guest of honor at her home for the natural water birth. As honored as I was, I was also a bit stressed about it. She outlined the process and reassured me that a trained doula (midwife) would be present. She had done much research into having her baby at home, as well as substantial prepping with her doula. I agreed, but knowing it might be a very long process, I had mentally prepared myself.
The Many Deaths And Rebirths In Your Lifetime
You have already died many deaths. Many versions of you will ‘die’ in this lifetime. And, many versions of you will be reborn.
Of course, you have also passed through the veil between this life and the next for many past lives. But in this case, I am referring to ‘deaths’ we suffer in this lifetime.
We can identify these dramatic changes, transitions, shifts, or ‘deaths’ in our astrological chart. Your Saturn Return, for example, occurs around the time of our 30th birthday. Our Saturn Return forces us to take an honest look at everything we may have been avoiding until now. It forces us to make much needed changes and improvements. It is the ending of our youth and the birth of our new adult self.
We do not remain the same person throughout our lifetime. Our goals, ideas, and life lessons all serve their purpose until they are phased out to let in new information, new ideas, and new opportunities for growth. If we do this right, life keeps changing us. We continue to grow and expand.
For this purpose, it is wise to interact with people who have different beliefs, practice other religions, and have other political affiliations compared to our own. And more importantly, to really listen to them. We must allow all the information in and trust our intuition to let our beliefs and understanding of life continuously evolve.
Our life experiences constantly challenge and change our ideas, goals, and views. We are constantly shedding our old skin. Just as our body changes every day we are alive, so does our soul. We take in every experience, whether we know it or not. It’s like adding ingredients to a recipe.
Embrace these deaths and births along your life path. They are needed for your soul growth and spiritual expansion. I’ve witnessed over the years some people really fighting change and resisting growth…and it always makes them miserable. Fluidity and acceptance are spiritually essential. Simplicity will bring you inner peace.
The True Power Of Your Worst Nightmares
When I was 24 years old, I was a somewhat disempowered young lady who went to work for the city council. All the girls in the office had an active social life and a boyfriend, except me.
In fact, I was bullied for it and became a bit of a joke around the water cooler, to the extent that I could not properly concentrate on the task at hand and ultimately lost my job. Looking back, it was one of the best things that ever happened to me. But, at the time, it did not feel like it.
About a year ago, I started to have a recurring dream that I was 24 again, and sharing an office with the same mean girls, supervised by the same misogynist boss. But this time I had a very different mindset.
In my dream, the boss had criticized my work. So, I pick up the documents he complained about to, walk up to his office, put it on his desk, and tell him politely to type his own letters in future. I was going home now, because I am no longer prepared to put up with his nonsense.
Well, if only I had the same courage back in the old days, I might have suffered far less emotional anguish! I felt really empowered in the dream, and it brought me the realization that I no longer have to suffer fools and that I need to stick up for myself more often. However, the dream also revealed to me that I still had not entirely made peace with the past, otherwise the dream would not be recurring.
The moral of the story is that dreams do not only reflect how we are doing in the present, and how far we have advanced in life, but also what we need to do to work on ourselves to be even better in the future. How powerful and life-enhancing is that!
Another compelling dream I have been having of late is of myself flying a light hovercraft over the estate where I lived as a child. I faced several challenging, traumatizing things growing up there, including poverty and domestic abuse. However, this liberating dream confirms that I have managed to rise above those childhood setbacks and obstacles, and I am now in control of my own life and destiny.
Learning To Truly Be With Yourself
A fellow psychic encouraged me many years ago in a reading to be ‘with myself’ and not just ‘by myself.’ There was a difference she explained, as this was a process of getting to know our own true essence. But being yourself can be an uncomfortable pathway for introspection! It is a lot easier to distract yourself with work, entertainment, chores, socializing and all the other ways we tend to divert our attention away from looking within.
A wise client told me recently that it was during the recent pandemic lockdowns that her journey towards true self-love really began. My clients are often my most important teachers, as they prompt me at times to look deeper into a situation.
She had been going through intense periods of intense reminiscing, especially regarding relationships. Most of her flashbacks related to two significant past relationships which, after investing so much of herself, had not worked out.
One of her partners just didn’t want to commit and was wrapped up in a materialistic obsession of striving to achieve business success. The other, whom she loved very much, left her for another woman.
Ironically, after years of loneliness and looking for ways to fill that void, this ex she whom she used to love so much, recently got back in touch with her. Apparently, he wants to be a part of her life again, once he´s finally sorted out his disastrous relationship with the woman he left her for.
But she now feels she has healed, forgiven him, and truly fallen in love with her own company, and therefore she wouldn’t want him in her space too much, and that any future moments they do spend together will be on her terms.
She has nailed it when it comes to truly being ‘with yourself,’ instead of lonely ´by yourself.’
The Stages Of True Love
When we fall in love with a potential life partner, we need to understand the lessons and challenges it may bring. Couples grow further with each of these organic stages, and we can learn much about ourselves, as well as our beloved’s life, needs, wants, wishes, goals, and desires.
Those who do not make it through the initial stages will not stay together for very long, and if they do it may become a very toxic relationship situation. Meeting someone is only the first step of the journey. For lasting happiness and fulfillment, we must complete all the stages successfully.
The Matching Stage
Take a moment to feel each one of these checklist items and apply it honestly to your current relationship situation:
1: Attracted to what your eyes see.
2: Appearance, feeling comfortable with their way of dressing
3: Mannerisms, how they hold and present themselves.
4: Voice. Their voice sound has a comforting feeling.
5: Speech. The words they use resonate with your communication style.
6: Values. Does their values line up with yours in life?
7: Lifestyle. Does it blend with yours?
8: Obligations. Are they something you can accept?
9: Goals in life. Matching your goals is a must.
10. Past Experience, can you understand and let go of these.
Spiritual Awareness Belongs To Everyone
The other day, while eating breakfast with my family, my son teased me by calling me a ‘boomer.’ Annoyed, I looked up from my phone and asked him why he said that? Apparently, I was holding my phone ‘incorrectly’ and I had the nerve to gingerly scroll the menu with my pinky finger in the air!
“Mom, you are holding the phone like an old lady, squinting your eyes to see the screen, because you’re a boomer.”
“Well excuse me, Mr. Gen Z,” I replied, trying not to laugh. “You have it all wrong, as I happen to be a proud member of Generation X. I was not born during the time of the ‘baby boomers.’
This brought up a family discussion about younger generations acting as if they are so ‘woke,’ and automatically assuming their parents and grandparents are ignorant or behind the times. Meanwhile it seems most younger people are not necessarily as aware and informed as they’d like to believe they are.
I remember when I was young adult, thinking that my parents and grandparents were ‘square’ and did not possess all the wisdom they seemed to claim they had. So, to be fair, I displayed the same youthful arrogance or pomposity back then that my son did at the breakfast table.
While I was doing the breakfast dishes, the conversation got me thinking about humanity and how we have evolved as a species. When does change in behavior really occur and what is it that makes a person spiritually aware and truly wise? What is spiritual awakening and what does the term mean to most people?
Many spiritual seekers use the term ‘awakening’ loosely to refer to an inner epiphany or a change in personal consciousness that makes one ‘more special’ or ‘superior to others,’ but I don’t think true awakening is anything like that.