individuality
The Importance Of Self-Trust
Of all the relationships in our life, none is more complicated or important than the one we have with ourselves. The cornerstone of this relationship is self-trust.
Unfortunately it is quite easy to damage the trust we place in ourselves. Why? Because during our lives all of us have, or will, make choices and decisions that don’t produce the desired outcome.
We all fail, and we all make mistakes. A relationship fails and we blame or question ourselves. A job opportunity eludes us, or a friendship fractures beyond repair.
We lose self-trust when we don’t achieve a goal, whatever that goal may be. Then we begin to question our abilities, our dreams and our worthiness to have them manifest in our life.
Every time we replay an event that we label a failure, the doubt in our judgment and our self-worth increases. Self-confidence stems from self-trust, so the cycle can become vicious and destructive.
So, how can we repair self-trust? First, decide to give yourself a break. You made what you believed to be the best decision or choice in the moment. If you are saying, “No, I didn’t! I knew I should have done it differently,” then stop the that negative thought pattern, and choose instead to forgive yourself for not trusting your instincts in that moment. Holding a grudge against yourself only assures that the pattern will repeat.
Next, decide to honor your emotions. If you have made choices and decisions that you perceive as a failure, then the tendency is to begin to substitute the opinions of others over our own intuition, desires and dreams. This pattern can lead to co-dependency, confusion and fear. Self-trust is harnessed when we follow our sacred wisdom, instead of looking outside ourselves to provide inner peace.
Extend Yourself The Grace Of Forgiveness
If you are an empath you may believe that forgiveness should be easy for you, or at least easier than it is for others. But I’ve spoken to many empaths and highly sensitive people over the years who all struggle with forgiveness.
One of the main issues with forgiveness for the empath is that we feel another’s emotions intensely, literally as our own. This muddies the waters considerably, because it tends to blur boundaries. Blurred boundaries can often lead to a closed mouth for an empath. Why? Because it is difficult for us, especially in childhood or in romantic relationships, to know where we end and another begins.
It is easy for others to manipulate appropriate boundaries with an empath, or to erase them altogether. All the empath knows is that there is pain, sadness, a sense of frustration, or anger. If you are an empath, then the question becomes are you angry with them, or yourself? Should you have been able to foresee the catastrophe happening, the relationship ending, job imploding, and so on. This leads to self-doubt and the rehashing of incidents that occurred years ago…with no resolution.
In the meantime, every time an empath thinks about the situation, past or present, we feel it…and the cycle continues.
Yes, you are empathic, intuitive, even psychic, but that does not make you immune to being human, neither does it make you all-knowing or all-seeing, especially when it comes to your own life, childhood or relationships.
Spirit Courage, Body Bravery
We all know someone who clearly walks to the beat of their own drum. These people typically have a robust inner strength, and refuse to accept at will any pertinent information handed to them by anyone in a position of authority. The one such character that stands out in my life is my maternal grandfather.
We came from a small town of 8,000 souls. Although our neighbors enjoyed the comforts of electricity, running water and all the modern conveniences of that time, my grandfather instead chose a code of living that suited him best.
The farmers in the area also had the use of tractors and other types of modern farming equipment that enabled them to work in a more worldly fashion, but my grandfather stubbornly refused to adhere to these modern trends. He had reliable horses to pull his plow and haul the hay, used kerosene lanterns when electric lighting was easily available to him, and firmly kept to his agenda with a tedious water pump that was needed for the normal household chores.
He was a very dedicated and diligent employee, working in the shipyard. He helped to load cargo ships from all corners of the globe, which came for the mighty salmon our region was extremely well-known for. Papa, as he was known to one and all, married at a very young age, which was a normal occurrence in those days, and managed to sire 15 children. He was also very well-versed and totally immersed in politics. The entire neighborhood would first ask his advice before casting their ballot, or not, for any politician brave enough to run for local office.
Healthy Boundaries – The Best New Year’s Resolution!
The best New Year’s resolution many of us can work on in 2019 is to create healthy boundaries with the people in our lives. These boundaries don’t have to be all about just creating space or distance between you and a few toxic people and things in your life. It can also include keeping yourself from being exposed to negativity on social media, or avoiding those foods you are intolerant to. In 2019 I recommend we all take a moment to think about the things we do, say, consume, and the people we spend our time with. Whatever it may be that brings us down, or steals our energy, needs to go. And no more people-pleasing.
Dr Seuss says, “Those who matter don’t mind, and, those who mind, don’t matter.” Well, it’s true. Those people who have a problem with you, because your belief system is different from theirs, for example, are absolutely out of line! I have said it once and I will say it again: the world will be a very boring place if we all had the same ideas and way of thinking. Diversity is what keeps our world going. So it’s okay to be different. I am big on keeping it real and being authentic. I refuse to be a conformist.
Your Personal Power Of Intuitive Resistance
We are constantly being bombarded with new trends about diets, places to live, what to wear, unique ways of exercising, fashionable holiday destinations. This also includes how and when we should leave this realm… despite our own personal inner beliefs, and our connection to spirit whom ultimately makes all our pertinent decisions based on the soul’s guidance system and truth.
Today, more than ever, with access to the Internet and social media, we are continually exposed to every health expert, fashionista and spiritual guru out there, as well as anyone who believe they can tell us how to decorate our homes, where we should eat when we dine out, how to find a soulmate, and what is the best food for our pets. The list goes on.
How To Choose Your Path
Think about all the choices you make every day. Do you cut that person off in traffic? Who do you vote for? Do you stay faithful to your partner or spouse? We all make many decisions every day that affect our lives and the people around us.
It is recommended we take time to wrestle with our decisions and make the right decision. When we are grounded and in alignment with our true self, it is not as difficult as it may seem. It is always more difficult when we take the path that the rest of the world seems to preach or dictate. The tendency is to take the easy path; the simple path; the selfish path. And once we do, we then wish we had taken a different path – a path less travelled. Hindsight is too often 20/20.
The Courage To Live And Let Live
The only way we are really going to make the future work is by allowing others to do their ‘own thing’ in their own way. Our future survival and evolution as a species will not be found in sameness, alikeness, similarity, or coercion. Instead, we must build a new global civilization based on expanding diversity, variety, assortment and multiplicity. Yet, there is one fundamental condition – for it to be successful it must be achieved in harmony with others and our planet.
From the perspective of the old mainstream view of our world, such a future world of unhindered diversity appears quite impossible and non-sensical, because that would mean that everybody does their own thing in their own way. And that seems really counter-intuitive… even dangerous. A disaster waiting to happen!
History has taught us that individuals doing things their ‘own way’ eventually manifests itself as selfishness, greed, creed, personal preference, chauvinism, dogma and ego-centered beliefs – which has caused most of our wars, the establishment of our borders, the separation between the rulers and subjects, and the division between rich and poor. Continue reading