Reclaim Your Peace And Power With Healthy Boundaries
Saying “no” is one of the most powerful things we can do to maintain our personal and spiritual well-being and energetic balance.
Many of us are caught up in the daily whirlwind of commitments, expectations, and the constant need to meet the demands of others. For those on a spiritual or esoteric path, this can be especially challenging.
The desire to be compassionate and supportive can sometimes blur the lines between compassion and self-neglect. However, one of the most profound spiritual lessons is this: it is okay to say no. In fact, it is imperative!
Knowing when and how to say no is a critical self-care skill that allows you to set healthy boundaries and protect your time, energy, and mental health. Moreover, it is crucial for our spiritual growth and essential for living a life filled with purpose and fulfillment.
Saying no and standing your ground requires recognizing your inherent worth and honoring your personal limits. Too often we stretch ourselves too thin, trying to be all things to all people. This may come from a fear of disappointing others or a belief that our value is in how much we give. Many of us also feel spiritually obligated to be there for others, often because we are so deeply affected by all the struggles and suffering we see in the world around us.
However, when we put the needs of others ahead of our own without balance, we risk depleting our physical, emotional, and spiritual energy. In such a depleted state, we are of no use to anyone.
Forgiveness Is Choosing To Take Back Your Power
Ah, forgiveness! Such a misunderstood concept. For many people, forgiveness, as noble as it may sound, is very difficult, even impossible.
Sometimes certain wrongs are so grave to us that the offender doesn’t deserve forgiveness in our eyes. There is also a misconception that forgiving someone is tantamount to excusing or justifying their terrible actions. But forgiveness is not about absolving someone of responsibility. Instead, it is a powerful, personal act of release and healing.
When we forgive someone, whether they’ve hurt us emotionally, betrayed our trust, or even caused us physical harm, we’re not letting them off the hook.
We are not condoning their actions or giving them permission to repeat those offenses. Rather, we are choosing to free ourselves from the weight of resentment, pain, and bitterness that binds us to them and their past actions.
Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves. It allows us to move forward without the burden of past grievances and with an open heart, free of resentment.
By forgiving, we determine for ourselves that the transgressor’s actions and the memory of their misdeeds will no longer hold us hostage or march with us into the future.
While we may not be responsible for what happened to us in the past, we are responsible for how we choose to carry the memory of it into the future. This is the power of forgiveness: it gives us the strength to embrace our present reality with clarity, compassion, and freedom. It also transforms our future, for it is ultimately a karmic choice that will shape our destiny in ways we will only understand much later in this life and beyond.
Self-Charity Is Your Spiritual Responsibility
Charity truly begins at home. To be truly charitable to others, we must first be kind and generous to ourselves.
Whether we view “charity” as giving alms to the poor, showing kindness to strangers, or extending non-judgment in times of questionable behavior, it is imperative that we first take care of our own needs. Why? Because we cannot freely and easily give to others what we have not given to ourselves.
Our true nature as incarnated spirit beings is to be loving, kind, and giving. However, it is our spiritual duty to take care of ourselves first so that we can offer more to others and make a real difference in the world.
Self-charity, or prioritizing our own needs before helping others, involves several key components.
Self-awareness is critical, requiring regular self-reflection and mindfulness to stay in tune with our mental, emotional, and physical states. Prioritizing self-care through activities such as regular exercise, healthy eating, adequate sleep, and relaxation techniques such as meditation or yoga is essential.
Mindful time management helps balance work, rest, and play, ensuring we don’t overcommit and have enough downtime to recharge.
Emotional management is essential and includes healthy ways to process and express emotions, such as journaling, talking to a trusted friend or therapist, or engaging in creative activities. Setting boundaries, learning to say no, and protecting our time, energy, and resources help us manage our lives effectively. Seeking support when needed, whether from friends, family, or professionals, ensures that we don’t carry burdens alone.
Embrace Life’s Turbulence With The Right Attitude
With the many ups and downs we face in life, it is sometimes possible to feel euphoric one moment and utterly devastated the next. Yes, life is challenging at times. But Spirit says that our attitude makes all the difference.
Life’s emotional roller coaster is an inevitable part of the human experience. However, by choosing the right attitude, we can transform this journey into an opportunity for growth, learning, and profound spiritual awakening. If we choose the right attitude, it can soften the emotional roller coaster ride of life.
Our soul purpose requires that there be times of great happiness and deep sorrow, for it is through successes and hardships that we learn how to evolve spiritually.
But when we choose to trust the process and embrace our journey with the right attitude, it becomes much easier to deal with the stressful issues and demands of everyday life.
Our attitude toward life’s ups and downs plays a pivotal role in shaping our experiences. By adopting the right attitude, we can greatly reduce the emotional turbulence that accompanies life’s challenges. It’s like putting a cushion in the seat of a roller coaster – it doesn’t eliminate the dips and drops, but it does make the ride more bearable!
My Healing Journey From Trauma To Spiritual Calling
Many years ago, a seemingly random accident changed the course of my life forever. As I traveled the country speaking to various corporate audiences in different cities, one fateful event brought about a profound change.
On that pivotal night, a woman arrived late for my presentation. While everyone was watching an introductory video, I asked her if she had filled out a raffle ballot. When I learned that she hadn’t, I offered to get it for her from the entrance to the hall.
Reaching the hallway doors meant walking between an audio speaker and the first table of guests. As I walked toward the exit doors, signaling to some in the audience that I would return shortly, I had no idea of the terrible events that were about to unfold.
Commercial audio speakers usually have a three-legged base, similar to a camera tripod, to keep the legs out of sight. But at this venue, the speakers had a different, wider type of base, with chrome spokes extending horizontally just above the floor, which the well-meaning organizers had hidden under black fabric. On my way to the doors, I tripped over one of those hidden metal bars!
The impact was severe – I dislocated my shoulder, breaking the bone into four pieces, shattered my knee, and my foot, caught in the fabric, twisted upside down over the bar. The resulting whiplash jammed my head to the left and slightly upward, immobilizing my entire left side.
Surround Yourself With Divine Love
Love is a concept I encounter every day in my work, and it is indeed a multifaceted thing. In its purest form, it manifests itself as a mother’s love for her child, a partner’s love for his spouse, or a sibling’s love for a brother or sister.
But love also takes more subtle forms. It can be reflected in a teacher’s love for expanding young minds, a researcher’s desire to advance humanity, or an engineer’s fine attention to detail.
There are also negative, toxic forms of ‘love.’ Too much love, though usually well-intentioned, can be harmful. The hovering parent, the controlling spouse, the overprotective friend can stifle true growth, trust, and creativity.
Sometimes conditional love is traded like a commodity or used as a weapon. It can be withheld when behavior is perceived as lacking or used as a reward for conforming to the status quo.
Fake love is also used as a facade or camouflage. The world is full of negative energy and hidden agendas disguised as projects of love that are supposed to be “for the greater good.”
Sometimes love turns into distractions, such as self-centered schemes that are really based on greed. Some people who profess love in truth worship false praise, accolades, and self-enrichment.
Spirit invites us to abandon the charade of false love. Instead, we should strive to be kind, compassionate, and generous without expecting anything in return. We must give others the benefit of the doubt without judging their worth or intent. Each day we should step forward and ask, “How can I help?” instead of making negative assumptions. Spiritual people lead by example. We must show the world the divine beings we are inside.
Manifesting A New Reality
It is never too late for a fresh start or a new life adventure. An attitude of optimism is key in a spiritually aware life. Within the realm of universal possibilities there is always the opportunity to evaluate your current standing compared with your desired end result, and to make some changes if necessary to manifest a new reality.
Visualizing the sought-after outcome is paramount in creating your new reality. Whatever you focus on intently will manifest consistently. Remember, what you think about, you bring about!
Continue to focus on the positive outcome, not the intricate steps necessary to attain success. Believe that the environment you have visualized continues to manifest in the background.
If you continue to give energy to negative scenarios, you will create more of the same. Stay stuck in the mire of discontent and you will remain frozen in that spot. It is impossible to take flight when slogging through the quicksand of doubt day-to-day.
Visualize for a few minutes each day as you drift off to sleep at night, and again each morning as you start to awaken.
Create in your mind’s eye the most magnificent vision of your new reality or desired outcome, with vibrant color, exquisite sound, penetrating scent, palpable touch and delicious taste. See, hear, smell, touch and taste all the components of your eventual success.
But you are not merely an observer. You must be a wholehearted participant in the creation of your new reality, so see yourself in the picture.