Posts Tagged ‘control’
If you’ve ever been in a relationship with someone who’s emotionally unavailable, you know how hard it is to get close to that person. People who are emotionally unavailable are evasive.
In the beginning the emotionally unavailable person starts out with flattery, flirting and wooing, but this typically lasts only a short while. They can even offer you a lot of self-disclosure and initially show their vulnerable side, but beware! The emotionally unavailable prefer the chase instead of the catch.
Control is another must for the emotionally unavailable person. They can very inflexible with their schedules and you find that you’re always the one doing all the work and fitting yourself into their schedule. Read the rest of this entry »
Everything we experience in life is an opportunity to grow and embrace fully who we are. In India they say that the path of the householder is the hardest spiritual path, far harder than that of the monk or hermit. In other words, facing the daily challenges of domestic responsibilities and being in close relationship with others, whether it be romantic, family, or work, is the hardest path to manage.
It is challenging in our everyday life to stay close to God, or remain true to the blueprint of who we were created to be spiritually. The good news is that, as we do learn to manage our challenges, we exponentially strengthen who we are. (Note, I use the term ‘God’ as a convenient, small word to indicate a vast Divine experience too big for me to describe, or define.) Read the rest of this entry »
You’re crazy, that never happened. You’re too sensitive. You’re making things up. No one else has ever said that about me. I get along with everyone else except you. I’ve never had this problem with anyone else but you. Everyone says you’re crazy. I’m not cheating, so maybe you are… since you are accusing me. You are too sensitive.
These are just some of the things you might hear when someone is gaslighting you, when you have confronted them with their own issues or manipulations.
Gaslighting is a form of abuse that is more common in romantic relationships, but it can occur in landlord and tenant relationships, friendships, employee and employer relationships, and even in relationships with neighbors. It is basically the art of messing with someone’s mind or reality. Sometimes it is done in an obvious way, right in front of the person, and sometimes it is under the radar and you don’t you know who is gaslighting you, or even if you are actually being gaslighted. Read the rest of this entry »
Humans have an electro-magnetic energy field, which is why we have medical technology like magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) scans. In Chinese philosophy and Taoism it is believed that this energy field consists of the dualistic energies of Yin and Yang. They are direct opposites, but also interdependent and complimentary to each other. We need good a balance of the two for optimal well-being, happiness and personal fulfillment.
Yang energy is the electric, active energy, full of outward movement. Too much Yang can make a person overbearing, impatient, impulsive. American culture tends to worship Yang energy. Think of slogans like “Just do it” and “No fear.” Read the rest of this entry »
When fictional characters, like Luke Skywalker in Star Wars, train to use their abilities, one of the first things their mentors, such as Yoda, tell them is that they must learn control. This is just as important to us as we use our own metaphysical abilities in the real world.
The first and foremost reason for this is that we have to use any psychic ability given to us for our own good, and that of others. If we use these abilities without mindful intent behind them, or with hostile intent, they can be very counter-productive.
So, how is control learned? An easy way to start is by ridding ourselves of negative influences and objects. As the ancient system of Feng Shui dictates, our environments reflect our internal states. First we must ground ourselves, by connecting our energies with those of the physical and spiritual realms. Read the rest of this entry »
In relationships, at times you have the antagonist. This person is someone you have gravitated towards for healing. Healing can take the form of picking the wrong people to bring out sides in us that encourage beneficial change and self-improvement. It doesn’t always feel good. It can also come in the form of the partners and friends we meet. These friends can sometimes be abusive or negligent.
In our work, some of us may not be able to really define what a relationship is, as anyone communicating to me, qualifies as a relationship especially if it is obvious – this is often seen more in heterosexual relationships, where I have to comment again and again, that most men cannot simply be ‘friends’ with women. As long as women remember that we will be ahead of the game. This can trigger power and control issues, even if you are not sexually involved or consistent in your relationship. Read the rest of this entry »
The typical response from most people would probably be something along the lines of a standard beauty pageant response, such as ‘world peace’ or ‘global warming’.
Sure, these are all noble causes, but do they solve more than one problem?
What if there was an often overlooked and a very basic adjustment we could all make, something that could potentially revolutionize the society we live in? I mean, what would happen if we all simply gave up our attempts at trying to control, manipulate and coerce others into being what we expect them to be, or to behave in ways we expect them to? It may not solve all our problems, but it might just get us much further than we currently imagine possible. Read the rest of this entry »