inner peace
Setting Healthy Boundaries With Toxic People
I have often wondered why so many of us tolerate unhealthy, unhappy, and sometimes very dysfunctional relationships with relatives and friends. Too many of us endure the toxic dynamics in our families and friendships, putting up with being the scapegoat, emotional punching bag, financial provider, free therapist, or nanny.
Why is it that many of us tend to keep giving the people in our lives second chances and multiple opportunities to learn and grow, hoping that they will somehow become more considerate, loving, and compassionate?
Meanwhile, we ignore their nasty words, spiteful behaviors, and toxic exchanges. We remain kind, tolerant, and patient. We try to help them lighten up, or connect on a deeper, more caring level. We hope that maybe someday everyone will be happier together and enjoy sharing more love and belonging, instead of dysfunction and drama.
But as the years go by, they continue to disappoint, abuse, and betray us. The loving kindness and mutual support never comes. Try as we might in these toxic situations, the people we love and care about will continue to talk down to us or try to make us feel that we are not good enough. These complicated family and friendship situations can eventually cost us our physical and mental health, our financial security, and our personal accomplishments.
I find this to often be the case with my clients who are gifted, empathic, highly sensitive, and spiritually aware. Some even consider it their purpose or calling in this lifetime. However, while being a wounded healer or earth angel is certainly a noble calling, being a scapegoat or doormat is definitely not! God, Source, Spirit, the Divine wants us to be happy, healthy and safe, and to live our best life.
Karma Is A Teacher, Not An Avenger
People often talk about karma as if it’s some form of divine punishment or retribution that will eventually be visited upon those who have wronged them. Letting karma “take care of it” is a comforting reassurance that we may be rewarded for being the ‘bigger person’ in unfair situations. And certainly it is always advisable to do the right thing when others are being petty or behaving badly.
But this is not karma.
The universe is not in the business of handing out ‘karmic punishment,’ for we are not judged as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ for our choices and actions. All of our choices and actions have value and teach us lessons. So, why would there be any need for a universal system of punishment? Or reward, for that matter?
This is not to say that karma does not exist. On the contrary, we can see karma at work all the time in everyday life, down to the most mundane things we choose to do. However, karma is not a force of reckoning, but the cause and effect of energy, which is a universal law.
When we live a heart-centered life, doing good deeds and being kind to ourselves and others, we will feel joyful, happy, fulfilled and at peace. We thrive in the vibrant flow of positive energy. On the other hand, when we live a heartless life, do things that are wrong, destructive, and evil, and we are unkind or cruel to ourselves and others, we will feel miserable, hopeless, dissatisfied, depressed. We suffer in the thick mud of negative energy.
Two White Butterflies From Spirit
We receive many signs from spirit, sometimes without realizing it. Most often these signs are from our loved ones beyond the veil to reassure, guide and comfort us. Sometimes they are from our guides or angels.
I frequently do readings for clients who suspect they have had such an experience, but they still seek confirmation that it was real when they are not sure if it may just have been their imagination.
Sometimes a client will also ask for my interpretation of a repetitive sign they have been noticing. They seek information about who it might have been, or they wish to know if spirit is trying to warn them, or teach them something.
Signs can take many forms. It usually presents in a way that will appeal to you personally, based on your personality, lifestyle, and spiritual beliefs. It might be a bird repetitively showing up to tap on your window, or frequently seeing butterflies or dragonflies. Another common sign is repeatedly seeing the same numbers, words, or names.
Last weekend, I asked for a sign of confirmation from spirit. With all the energy shifts currently happening in my life, it’s reassuring to know I have the support of my guides, angels, and loved ones on the other side.
I asked for a sign early Sunday morning, before I set out to walk my dogs. I did not have to wait very long! Minutes into the walk, two beautiful, white butterflies appeared, as if from nowhere, and remained within arm’s reach. They were doing a cheerful dance in line with my heart center for the remainder of the walk, and they only left once I had reached the gate to my home.
Frog’s Wisdom To Adapt To Change
I must admit, when I initially discovered that my spirit animal is the frog, my ego took somewhat of a dive! The frog is such a small, insignificant creature that is mostly overlooked, and certainly not the most attractive of species.
In had secretly hoped my totem animal might be a majestic, powerful animal that commands attention and is admired, even adored. But here was the tiny frog, my spirit guide.
However, once I uncovered some of the spiritual symbolism of this amazing little being, I soon grew to embrace its guiding presence in my life. Frog has in fact been teaching me much about myself, my path, and my place in the world.
The magnificent little frog’s most prominent attribute is its ability to adapt and transform. Frogs are all about change and new beginnings. They are also associated with purification, rebirth, and welcoming luck and abundance into your life. Frog is therefore the ideal power animal for anyone going through major changes in their life.
In my case, it was the opposite. Over the years, I had gradually developed a worldview that was somewhat stringent, restrained, and resistant to change. My inability to communicate with grace and clarity further complicated this outlook by causing me to become frustrated, and sometimes even angry and resentful.
The fact that I chose to perceive life in a self-limiting way was not apparent to me, until frog showed up. But with frog’s inspiration the realization started to sink in that it was not that the world was not kind, patient and accommodating towards me, but instead that I was creating resistance and that my needs and expectations were not always clearly expressed to others.
The Basics Of Reiki
Reiki is popular concept in modern spirituality, metaphysics and energy healing. It is therefore good for anyone interested in these fields to have a basic understanding of this technique to engage in discussions with likeminded people in a meaningful way.
The term reiki is a combination of two Japanese words. Rei means ‘divine wisdom’ or ‘divine power,’ and ki means ‘life force energy’ or ‘vital human energy.’ Reiki is therefore a ‘divinely empowered life force.’
Reiki, or rather the system of Reiki, was developed in Japan a century ago by a Buddhist monk known as Mikao Usui. He was a renowned spiritual man who dedicated his life to being of service to others. While seeking spiritual awakening on Mount Kurama, north of the Japanese city of Kyoto, he was divinely inspired with the gift of Reiki. It was introduced to the United States in the late 1930s by Hawayo Hiromi Takata, a Japanese-American woman who received training in Reiki in Tokyo and became a master practitioner.
Although it is more commonly known only as a form of energy healing, true Reiki is in fact a comprehensive spiritual practice and a conscious lifestyle. Yes, it involves the healing of the mind and body, but it also proposes living in total peace with oneself, and being aware of your own unique purpose and spiritual light within. The system of Reiki seeks to remove the layers of fear, worry and attachments that conceal our innate brightness of being.
Reflections
Sitting on the porch. Rocking. Yes, rocking in my willow rocking chair, surrounded by the smell of petrichor – that delightful odor the earth gifts us with when fresh rain is coming down after a long, dry spell. The aroma of the freshly hung chile ristras greets me in the Santa Fe, New Mexico tradition at this time of year, when the growing season is done and the picking of the season’s ripe offerings has begun. Richness abounds with the aromas of the petrichor and the strung pods of red chile blending in the softness of the evening breeze.
The automatic flood light and the blue laser lights have come on, as they do every day at dusk, to illuminate the waterfall in the garden, although it’s still a bit early for them to shine their brightest. Not quite dark enough yet, but soon it will be. I just fed my precious four-legged fur daughter her dinner. Now that my day is done and another week has gone by, I am contemplating whether or not I have done well this week.
Yes, I believe so! I have learned so much and have grasped many new concepts. I also renewed my awareness of some familiar concepts that were in need of repetition, so I could complete some hard earned lessons. And I found resolution to some newer viewpoints on old issues. Whew! I feel I’ve been turned wrong side out in just one week, only to realize it is the other way around. I was wrong-side-out before. Now I’m right-side-in, or more so at least.
I look up from my musings to see the lights. It is dark now and they’re shining brightly against the dark night sky. The lasers look like blue fireflies as they pinpoint their magical presence. The synchronicity feels deeply significant. At the end of another week, after much breaking down of old thought patterns, I see the flood light and laser lights reflecting the realization that I am different now than last week, or at any time before.
Are You Ready For The Unexpected?
It has been quite the saga with the dishwasher in my apartment! It has not worked properly for over a year now. The maintenance crew here at the apartment complex has been able to keep it going, but it keeps flooding and breaking down. They have however grown somewhat weary with the ongoing dish drama, but I still manage to gain some sympathy for my struggles.
The last time they came by to repair the temperamental kitchen appliance, it took three weeks for them to show up after I put in the maintenance request. They took me by surprise, but I am not sure who was startled more – me or them. You see, I sometimes like to work in my pajamas, and therefore I was not at all prepared for their visit! Fortunately, I was able to retreat to my home office and merely close the door.
It got me thinking about our everyday readiness to embrace the unexpected in life. As spirit beings we signed up for human adventure riddled with many twists and turns, as well as some adversity and unforeseen surprises. The only way to safely and successfully navigate all these ups and downs is to be guided by the higher self with the support of spirit.
When we raise our vibration through spiritual practice and a conscious lifestyle, we build a foundational state of readiness that empowers us to calmly expect the unexpected, and to always be prepared for anything.
I think of it as ‘Father Readiness.’ In The Bible, Matthew 24 states that “no one knows the day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.”