toxic people
Setting Healthy Boundaries With Toxic People
I have often wondered why so many of us tolerate unhealthy, unhappy, and sometimes very dysfunctional relationships with relatives and friends. Too many of us endure the toxic dynamics in our families and friendships, putting up with being the scapegoat, emotional punching bag, financial provider, free therapist, or nanny.
Why is it that many of us tend to keep giving the people in our lives second chances and multiple opportunities to learn and grow, hoping that they will somehow become more considerate, loving, and compassionate?
Meanwhile, we ignore their nasty words, spiteful behaviors, and toxic exchanges. We remain kind, tolerant, and patient. We try to help them lighten up, or connect on a deeper, more caring level. We hope that maybe someday everyone will be happier together and enjoy sharing more love and belonging, instead of dysfunction and drama.
But as the years go by, they continue to disappoint, abuse, and betray us. The loving kindness and mutual support never comes. Try as we might in these toxic situations, the people we love and care about will continue to talk down to us or try to make us feel that we are not good enough. These complicated family and friendship situations can eventually cost us our physical and mental health, our financial security, and our personal accomplishments.
I find this to often be the case with my clients who are gifted, empathic, highly sensitive, and spiritually aware. Some even consider it their purpose or calling in this lifetime. However, while being a wounded healer or earth angel is certainly a noble calling, being a scapegoat or doormat is definitely not! God, Source, Spirit, the Divine wants us to be happy, healthy and safe, and to live our best life.
Protect Yourself From Negative Energy Attachments
A neighbor once asked me to smudge her home and bless it, because she felt there was a lot of negative energy there. She could just ‘feel it.’ People lived below her that she could hear arguing until late hours in the night, using foul language. They would chain smoke too, to the extent that it would rise up through the floorboards. It made her feel sick and caused her to have migraine headaches. Apart from that there were also some old ‘cobwebs’ of trapped negative energy that she wanted me to some and clean out.
She had been dealing with the ups and downs of depression for as long I’ve known her. She is one of the sweetest people you could ever hope to meet, let alone have as a neighbor. She is very kind and always there if you need her. She would be very social at times, inviting friends from church over and entertaining friends regularly, for several weeks, and then she would suddenly feel overwhelmed by the chaos and drama of the people around her, feel drained and depressed, and withdraw from everyone. Then you would not see her for weeks, sometimes months.
I told her I felt that she needed to protect herself energetically and shared with her ways that she can do this. I explained to her that sometimes, when we engage with people, we can pick up some of their negative energies. Even if they are seemingly good people, who go to church and so on, it doesn’t necessarily mean that these people are free from negative energies, or worse, unwanted spirit attachments.
Ghosting, Gaslighting And Gameplaying!
In my work as a psychic, I assist clients daily with navigating life’s challenges, especially their relationships with the people in their life. While the guidance I receive from spirit has essentially remained the same over the years, the language I use to relay this information changes over time.
The professional psychic must constantly adapt and renovate the terminology she uses in readings to communicate spirit’s messages. New slang and buzzwords continually show up in our culture as society evolves, and it must become part of the psychic’s vocabulary to ensure she communicates clearly and effectively.
Three of the new terms that frequently comes up in readings these days is ghosting, gaslighting, and gameplaying.
Ghosting
Ghosting is when someone stops communicating with you, casually ignores you, and no longer replies to any of your calls or messages. All communication is abandoned for no apparent reason.
“He has been ghosting me!” some clients frequently exclaim. “What is going on? Why is he acting this way?” In these readings, it often becomes clear that he may be doing so for one of the following reasons:
Learning To Forgive
Accepting, letting go and forgiving is difficult, but necessary to thrive and live our best life. When we do not forgive, we carry toxic energy within that poisons us mind, body and soul.
Energetically non-forgiveness wreaks havoc in our chakras that can cause physical disease and mental illness. Our chakras store the energies of negative life events and experiences, if we do not release it, and heal those imbalances and blockages.
Forgiving does not mean we condone or exonerate the evil deeds of others, nor do we have to allow the people who have wronged us back into our life. This is seldom wise.
However, it is also not karmically smart to harbor resentment, seek vengeance, or wish others harm…for it will come back to us. Forgiveness is to surrender control and allowing karma to deal with those who wronged us.
When we forgive and release the trauma others have caused us, their choices and actions can no longer control us, nor steal our happiness, joy, and well-being. This is why forgiveness is the best gift we can give to ourselves.
Forgiveness does not set the wrongdoer free or exempt them from their karmic debt. Instead, we set ourselves free, so that their karmic choices no longer interfere with our energetic well-being and our divine right to manifest our best life. When we do not forgive and move on, it will continue to haunt us. It gradually infiltrates and contaminates every aspect of our life, and even causes us to attract more of the same unwanted experiences.
How To Deal With Toxic People
Toxic people can be incredibly difficult to deal with in both personal and professional relationships and can be detrimental to your personal happiness and well-being.
A toxic person is someone whose constant negativity and dysfunctional behavior causes drama in your life and drains you energy whenever they are around. Typical toxic traits include negativity, cynicism, apathy, lack of self-awareness, arrogance, entitlement, self-centeredness, domineering behavior, lack of empathy, being judgmental, dishonesty, anger outbursts, to name only a few.
The most extreme forms of toxicity includes personality disorders like antisocial, borderline, histrionic, and narcissistic personality disorder. A personality disorder is a rigid, deeply characteristic way of thinking, feeling and acting that severely affects the person’s mental well-being, personal relationships and social life.
Toxic people can however be tricky to identify at first, as their dysfunctional traits and behaviors can be very subtle. Some of them are also very good at ‘gaslighting,’ which makes interacting with them even more treacherous.
Gaslighting is a very toxic form of manipulation, game playing, or crazymaking in which you are constantly being misled, confused, lied to, and made to question your own truth and reality. You increasingly feel unsure about the accuracy of your own memories regarding certain events and your personal opinions and perceptions of the world. You may even begin to think that you are to blame for the toxic person’s actions, or that maybe something is very wrong with you, or worse, that you are losing your mind.
Spring Is A Time For Personal Renewal
With the recent equinox in the Northern Hemisphere, the spring season is returning once again, bringing with it a renewed sense of energy and optimism. The longer days, warmer weather, chirping robins, and budding blossoms beckon us to start afresh and make some positive life changes.
As the seasons merge from cold to warm, it’s the perfect time to let go of some unwanted ‘winter habits’ and embrace some healthier lifestyle practices in the coming weeks.
One of the most uplifting ways to embrace the spirit of spring is to let go of things that no longer serve and support the best version of you. It’s a time to clear out the mental, emotional and physical ‘clutter’ and make space for new blessings to come our way.
Whether it’s a bad habit, a toxic relationship, or simply old possessions no longer needed, getting rid of what no longer serves us is always a liberating, empowering experience.
Releasing old energy and letting go of attachments can be challenging and complicated, but it is essential for our personal growth and well-being. We often hold onto things way too long out of fear, insecurity, or simply habit. It limits us from experiencing new and exciting opportunities. Life begins outside our comfort zone.
Think of it like cleaning out your closet. We all have clothes that no longer fit, are out of style, or we simply don’t wear anymore. Removing these items makes room for fashionable new items that better reflect who we are today that we will love to wear.
Striving To Embody The Higher Self
The higher self, the soul, the spirit is the spiritually supreme, eternal aspect of our conscious existence that is unencumbered by the human ego and connected to the greater cosmic universe.
When people spiritually awaken, they begin to realize that we tend to constantly operate from the ego, with only subtle, mostly subconscious bouts of guidance and inspiration from spirit. They begin to feel the difference in their personal energy vibration when they are operating more consciously from spirit, but it is a challenge to consistently remain in this powerful state of divine alignment.
One’s life however becomes noticeably different once you manage to connect to the higher self on a more constant and consistent basis. You also become more circumspect about what you spend your time and energy on. Spiritual self-care and a conscious lifestyle becomes extremely important.
In the connected, aware state of steadily embodying the higher self we no longer feel the need, for example, to accumulate as many material things and status symbols as possible, and we no longer say yes to everyone and everything for the simple fear of missing out.
We also tend to choose a new tribe and begin to increasingly spend time with people who are also in a state of higher vibration. We also progressively lose our interest in dysfunctional, lower vibrational behavior, like criticism, pettiness, perfectionism, gossip, judgment and wanting to control and manipulate others.
When we are more permanently aligned with the higher self, we become more empowered as deliberate creators and are able to manifest our desires more profoundly. We also become more grateful for the daily little miracles of life and keenly present in every moment. And we become more in tune with our soul purpose and begin to fearlessly pursue our true passions.