toxic people
Ghosting, Gaslighting And Gameplaying!
In my work as a psychic, I assist clients daily with navigating life’s challenges, especially their relationships with the people in their life. While the guidance I receive from spirit has essentially remained the same over the years, the language I use to relay this information changes over time.
The professional psychic must constantly adapt and renovate the terminology she uses in readings to communicate spirit’s messages. New slang and buzzwords continually show up in our culture as society evolves, and it must become part of the psychic’s vocabulary to ensure she communicates clearly and effectively.
Three of the new terms that frequently comes up in readings these days is ghosting, gaslighting, and gameplaying.
Ghosting
Ghosting is when someone stops communicating with you, casually ignores you, and no longer replies to any of your calls or messages. All communication is abandoned for no apparent reason.
“He has been ghosting me!” some clients frequently exclaim. “What is going on? Why is he acting this way?” In these readings, it often becomes clear that he may be doing so for one of the following reasons:
Learning To Forgive
Accepting, letting go and forgiving is difficult, but necessary to thrive and live our best life. When we do not forgive, we carry toxic energy within that poisons us mind, body and soul.
Energetically non-forgiveness wreaks havoc in our chakras that can cause physical disease and mental illness. Our chakras store the energies of negative life events and experiences, if we do not release it, and heal those imbalances and blockages.
Forgiving does not mean we condone or exonerate the evil deeds of others, nor do we have to allow the people who have wronged us back into our life. This is seldom wise.
However, it is also not karmically smart to harbor resentment, seek vengeance, or wish others harm…for it will come back to us. Forgiveness is to surrender control and allowing karma to deal with those who wronged us.
When we forgive and release the trauma others have caused us, their choices and actions can no longer control us, nor steal our happiness, joy, and well-being. This is why forgiveness is the best gift we can give to ourselves.
Forgiveness does not set the wrongdoer free or exempt them from their karmic debt. Instead, we set ourselves free, so that their karmic choices no longer interfere with our energetic well-being and our divine right to manifest our best life. When we do not forgive and move on, it will continue to haunt us. It gradually infiltrates and contaminates every aspect of our life, and even causes us to attract more of the same unwanted experiences.
How To Deal With Toxic People
Toxic people can be incredibly difficult to deal with in both personal and professional relationships and can be detrimental to your personal happiness and well-being.
A toxic person is someone whose constant negativity and dysfunctional behavior causes drama in your life and drains you energy whenever they are around. Typical toxic traits include negativity, cynicism, apathy, lack of self-awareness, arrogance, entitlement, self-centeredness, domineering behavior, lack of empathy, being judgmental, dishonesty, anger outbursts, to name only a few.
The most extreme forms of toxicity includes personality disorders like antisocial, borderline, histrionic, and narcissistic personality disorder. A personality disorder is a rigid, deeply characteristic way of thinking, feeling and acting that severely affects the person’s mental well-being, personal relationships and social life.
Toxic people can however be tricky to identify at first, as their dysfunctional traits and behaviors can be very subtle. Some of them are also very good at ‘gaslighting,’ which makes interacting with them even more treacherous.
Gaslighting is a very toxic form of manipulation, game playing, or crazymaking in which you are constantly being misled, confused, lied to, and made to question your own truth and reality. You increasingly feel unsure about the accuracy of your own memories regarding certain events and your personal opinions and perceptions of the world. You may even begin to think that you are to blame for the toxic person’s actions, or that maybe something is very wrong with you, or worse, that you are losing your mind.
Spring Is A Time For Personal Renewal
With the recent equinox in the Northern Hemisphere, the spring season is returning once again, bringing with it a renewed sense of energy and optimism. The longer days, warmer weather, chirping robins, and budding blossoms beckon us to start afresh and make some positive life changes.
As the seasons merge from cold to warm, it’s the perfect time to let go of some unwanted ‘winter habits’ and embrace some healthier lifestyle practices in the coming weeks.
One of the most uplifting ways to embrace the spirit of spring is to let go of things that no longer serve and support the best version of you. It’s a time to clear out the mental, emotional and physical ‘clutter’ and make space for new blessings to come our way.
Whether it’s a bad habit, a toxic relationship, or simply old possessions no longer needed, getting rid of what no longer serves us is always a liberating, empowering experience.
Releasing old energy and letting go of attachments can be challenging and complicated, but it is essential for our personal growth and well-being. We often hold onto things way too long out of fear, insecurity, or simply habit. It limits us from experiencing new and exciting opportunities. Life begins outside our comfort zone.
Think of it like cleaning out your closet. We all have clothes that no longer fit, are out of style, or we simply don’t wear anymore. Removing these items makes room for fashionable new items that better reflect who we are today that we will love to wear.
Striving To Embody The Higher Self
The higher self, the soul, the spirit is the spiritually supreme, eternal aspect of our conscious existence that is unencumbered by the human ego and connected to the greater cosmic universe.
When people spiritually awaken, they begin to realize that we tend to constantly operate from the ego, with only subtle, mostly subconscious bouts of guidance and inspiration from spirit. They begin to feel the difference in their personal energy vibration when they are operating more consciously from spirit, but it is a challenge to consistently remain in this powerful state of divine alignment.
One’s life however becomes noticeably different once you manage to connect to the higher self on a more constant and consistent basis. You also become more circumspect about what you spend your time and energy on. Spiritual self-care and a conscious lifestyle becomes extremely important.
In the connected, aware state of steadily embodying the higher self we no longer feel the need, for example, to accumulate as many material things and status symbols as possible, and we no longer say yes to everyone and everything for the simple fear of missing out.
We also tend to choose a new tribe and begin to increasingly spend time with people who are also in a state of higher vibration. We also progressively lose our interest in dysfunctional, lower vibrational behavior, like criticism, pettiness, perfectionism, gossip, judgment and wanting to control and manipulate others.
When we are more permanently aligned with the higher self, we become more empowered as deliberate creators and are able to manifest our desires more profoundly. We also become more grateful for the daily little miracles of life and keenly present in every moment. And we become more in tune with our soul purpose and begin to fearlessly pursue our true passions.
Being Your Strongest, Most Authentic Self
Many people tend to think that being vulnerable and open is a bad thing, because it makes them vulnerable to getting hurt in life and especially in relationships.
When someone disappoints or hurts us, whether deliberately or inadvertently, it is usually because they have deep wounds of their own that stems from their past, especially for their childhood. These unresolved traumas are often dormant and unconscious.
One might feel this is still no excuse to treat others poorly, or that they should know better. However, because these people typically have not done much inner work or self-healing to really know how to be in loving, happy, and functional relationships. I’m not condoning their bad behavior, but if they actually do not know any better, then how can one expect it from them?
I find people who are stuck in such patterns of hurting others are usually very much defensive and in denial. If you gently suggest what you may need from them, or bring up an aspect that the two of you could work on together to improve the relationship, they tend to instantly throw what you say back in your face and make it all about you. Suddenly, all of it is your fault.
This defensive behavior is a clear signal that this person has a lot of hurt, and is either fearful or unable to work through it. Therefore, if you bring up something that triggers their pain, they immediately see it as a threat. They feel attacked, or that they are being made a scapegoat.
Actions Speak Louder Than Words!
Actions are key in a relationship of any kind, whether it be with family, friends, co-workers, romantic partners, or spouses. Actions indeed speak louder than words! Our behavior and deeds reveal who we truly are. If I was only allowed to offer my clients one piece of relationship advice for the rest of my life, then this would be it: trust what they do, not what they say.
Here is how to look at it. Let’s say you have arranged to go on a date with someone, but they do not show up, and they have all kinds of excuses later. Okay, life happens. So, they did not notify you of their no-show, and they did not care about your feelings in contacting you. Not good. I am not saying dump them right away, but carefully consider how they handled the situation with you. Do they at least appear to care?
This may be a pattern of theirs, so here is where you already need to start watching their actions more carefully. This event may have been due to a random set of unfortunate circumstances beyond their control, or it is an early ‘red flag’ of who they really are. If someone is okay with disappointing or hurting you with the little things, they will have no problem doing the same someday when it truly matters.
Here is another example that I often find in readings: cheating. Let’s say your boyfriend cheated once, and you caught them. He is all upset with himself, and you guys talk it out. He promises he will never do it again. Now, it is one thing for him to say it, but quite another for him to actually keep his word! His future actions will ultimately reveal the truth. If he repeats the same behavior, then his cheating is not just a mistake or a red flag – it is a dealbreaker!