toxic people
Actions Speak Louder Than Words!
Actions are key in a relationship of any kind, whether it be with family, friends, co-workers, romantic partners, or spouses. Actions indeed speak louder than words! Our behavior and deeds reveal who we truly are. If I was only allowed to offer my clients one piece of relationship advice for the rest of my life, then this would be it: trust what they do, not what they say.
Here is how to look at it. Let’s say you have arranged to go on a date with someone, but they do not show up, and they have all kinds of excuses later. Okay, life happens. So, they did not notify you of their no-show, and they did not care about your feelings in contacting you. Not good. I am not saying dump them right away, but carefully consider how they handled the situation with you. Do they at least appear to care?
This may be a pattern of theirs, so here is where you already need to start watching their actions more carefully. This event may have been due to a random set of unfortunate circumstances beyond their control, or it is an early ‘red flag’ of who they really are. If someone is okay with disappointing or hurting you with the little things, they will have no problem doing the same someday when it truly matters.
Here is another example that I often find in readings: cheating. Let’s say your boyfriend cheated once, and you caught them. He is all upset with himself, and you guys talk it out. He promises he will never do it again. Now, it is one thing for him to say it, but quite another for him to actually keep his word! His future actions will ultimately reveal the truth. If he repeats the same behavior, then his cheating is not just a mistake or a red flag – it is a dealbreaker!
Forgive, But Never Forget!
I’ve been reflecting on the notion of ‘forgive and forget’ in this season of thanksgiving, joy, generosity, and gratitude. Is it indeed necessary for us to both forgive and forget when others wrong us? Does that not make is doormats or losers? Consulting spirit on this matter, I found that the concept of ‘forgetting’ actually implies something quite different to our typical understanding of it.
True forgiveness is to ‘turn the other cheek’ when we are wronged. It is an essential aspect of our spiritual growth and soul evolution. When we practice forgiveness, we increase dharma, which is essentially ‘cosmic law and order’ and therefore ‘good karma.’ If we have good dharma, we begin to receive more gifts and blessings from the Universe, and spontaneous kindness and generosity from others. We also become more approachable because our ‘gratitude glass’ is always more than half full with spiritual champagne!
Spiritual practice and energetic self-care are the optimal ways to practice and strengthen our forgiveness. Through daily prayer, meditation, candle work, or journaling, supplemented by anointing ourselves with healing essential oils, for example, or taking an Epsom salt bath, we can release all resentment, anger and bitterness that block our energy flow and holds us back.
The other person does not need to know that we’ve forgiven them. It is of course even better if we tell them, but their participation or approval is not necessary. Forgiveness is a private matter and a gift we give to ourselves.
Forgetting harms and hurts is however an entirely different matter. If we forget too easily, we also tend to stop reflecting gratefully on our joys and blessings. Bad things happening to good people increases our appreciation and gratitude for the good things in our lives.
Divine Love Abides All
When we have love in our life we can keep negative entities away from us on the lower realms, as well as on the earthly walking realm. There are both malicious people and malevolent non-physical beings in this world. Divine Love protects us from their evil.
When we live our life with unconditional love in our hearts, and keep a calm mind and spirit, we are easily read by others as being very kind loving people – it shows on our faces. You sometimes can’t tell on some people’s faces if they are good or evil, because Satan, or the Evil One, is tricky and manipulative. The Bible tells us that Lucifer was a beautiful angel in the beginning, before he fell and became corrupt.
It is so important to live with the Divine Spark inside of us and be mindful of what we put into our bodies, as I’ve seen energy shift and people’s faces shift when they open the door to negativity and evil influences in their lives. Some are more susceptible than others. For example, people who abuse alcohol allow really low spiritual entities into their lives, to seek and ruin and destroy anything good that they have going on – especially by way of relationships. Some people should just stay far away from alcohol, as they become very aggressive and belligerent, and just not themselves when they drink. I have seen people ruin their lives because of alcohol.
Anything that can deter you from Divine Love is not of the Light. Everything is best in moderation. But for some the negative energy keeps them wanting more as the negative entities around them wants them to fail, so that they themselves can grow stronger while their victim’s life slowly goes in a downward spiral. In some cases, their addictions make them so depressed they even take their own life, and it hinders their soul from achieving soul growth in this current incarnation they are in.
Only You Can Heal A Recurring Emotional Injury
We are all negatively impacted at times by certain events or people causing us emotional hurt and trauma.
If this is something that is currently weighing on your mind and you feel emotionally injured or overwhelmed today, then the following strategies may help you to overcome the recent setback you suffered.
Not only can these three steps help you to better deal with your current emotional injury, but it can also bring about lasting positive change in your life.
Step 1: Feeling Through
It is vital to process negative emotions. You should never try to suppress or repress unpleasant feelings. It is important that you allow yourself to fully feel your current emotion. Don’t think or rationalize, just feel.
Let the tears of sadness flow, lean into the fear or anxious feelings, or embrace the anger and disappointed. To process and ultimately resolve these feelings, we must first truly feel them.
However, do not spend too much time in this stage of the process. Truly feeling your negative emotions does not mean you must obsess over it or constantly dwell on it. A few hours, or at most a day or two, then let it go! Do not let it drag on for weeks or months, because this will not heal you and will only have a counterproductive effect. After the one-time ‘feeling through’, it is time to move on to the next stage.
The Truth About Spiritual Growth
One increasingly sees social media influencers and self-appointed gurus preaching personal growth and development online. It has become a fad to sell such growth courses, services and products. But do these offerings represent and promote true spiritual growth?
Material growth can indeed be achieved with some discipline, determination, further education, hard work and proper use of one’s mental faculties. However, spiritual growth is a different matter. It cannot be bought, learned, or achieved with temporary efforts, for it is an organic, lifelong growth process. Always seeking with sincerity, patience and humility is to grow spiritually.
Our spiritual growth is something we are solely responsible for, and it is a process in which you alone can be your worst enemy, or best ally. This is the kind of growth where the reality of what you have been attracting into your life is exposed over time. Regardless of your choices, the only one who bears the responsibility and consequences is you.
Spiritual evolution is highly personal and individual. Other people and external situations cannot secure your spiritual expansion in this lifetime. It may be that the people and circumstances in your life are currently not resonating with you. If you want to grow spiritually and attract more of what you want, instead of what you do not want, trying to force situations or change other people is pointless.
The true spiritual seeker must also take care not to become caught up in a ‘savior mentality’ of thinking you need to save or open the minds of everyone around you. The spiritual choices of another is not your duty or responsibility. Your only responsibility is to personally evolve and inspire others by example through your own attitude and achievement.
Your Outer Life Reflects Your Inner Being
Living a fulfilling, abundant life can be one of the most difficult things to do for people who do not understand that they are the masters of their own destiny. We have much more control to design our future and shape our fate than many people realize.
Whatever we can think about, imagine, visualize, pray for, and believe is what we can make manifest in our lives. But I am not talking about passive daydreaming, wishful thinking, spending our days in laziness, and half-heartedly hoping for a better future, without taking any action.
To achieve what we want, we must not only dream it, we must also take action steps every day that will increasingly shift us towards our desired future.
Here are some practical guidelines you can follow to better master your life and destiny.
Gratitude
Gratitude is the main key to all manifestation. When we are grateful for what we have, we attract more of what we want. We can also not attract more of what we want, while we focus on, complain, and worry about what we do not want and do not have. Simple, right? Yet, we so often forget to be grateful for the small, yet important things we already have in our life, such as our health, waking up for one more day, and so on. Continue reading
The Paradigm Shift Of An Awakening World
Most people respond more strongly to negative than they do to positive news or events. No matter how hard some of us may try to live with grace and gratitude by looking at the brighter side of life, a piece of bad news, malignant gossip, or fear-inducing information is a lot easier to run with than good news. We also react to someone else’s bad behavior much more strongly than their good conduct. We seldom praise or sincerely compliment, but we are quick to judge and criticize.
Case in point is my own experience working as the curator at fine art galleries some years ago. Ten clients would be nice and easy to please, but if the eleventh person was having a bad day they would be the one to get most of my attention. I’ve since gotten a lot better at being able to tune out the negativity and drama resulting from low vibrational frequencies, but it still remains impossible for me not to be affected by it from time to time.
Due to our innate survival instinct as humans beings we are simply incapable of ignoring negativity – or in a more enlightened scope, not give energy to it. This is understandable, as our first instinct is usually to protect ourselves by knowing if bad things may be happening.
But, so many people seem to absolutely thrive on every possible fragment of negativity, fear or drama they can find. From messy family quarrels, feuds with neighbors, and rude, unkind behavior in public places, to the brutal, senseless wars that continue to be fought since time immemorial. Every bit of it is and has been based on human reactions to slights, hurts and trespasses – some of it petty and even imagined.