toxic people
Protect Your Energy From Toxic People
If you’ve ever felt emotionally drained, manipulated, or physically unwell after spending time with someone, know that you’re not alone. I do relationship readings for people stuck in toxic relationships, or dealing with energy vampires in their family or workplace, on a daily basis.
These relationships and people feed off your energy, often leaving you feeling depleted, anxious, or confused.
Why do so many people allow these people into their lives? Often, they simply have no choice. These toxic people may be family members, coworkers, in-laws, friends we’ve known for years, other relatives, or even life partners.
As a deeply empathic person myself, I understand the profound sensitivity that comes with feeling the energies around you.
Being surrounded by energy thieves can feel like standing in front of an emotional vacuum or caught inside a whirlwind of chaos. If you don’t prepare yourself energetically and spiritually before engaging with these types of individuals, your emotional and physical well-being will suffer.
It’s exhausting trying to maintain your peace in the presence of drama, manipulation, or constant criticism. Take for example family gatherings or in-law visits.
These moments can trigger a cascade of emotions due to clashing personalities, judgment, gossip, and unresolved history. It often feels like nothing you do is ever right, and it becomes a true test of inner strength.
Tell-Tale Signs You Are Being Gaslighted
You’re crazy, that never happened. Don’t be so sensitive. I’ve never had this problem with anyone else but you. It was never my idea, it was yours! Come on, you’re imagining things. Everyone else agrees, except you. You’re just making things up.
These are just some of the things you might hear when someone is gaslighting you. It usually happens whenever you confront them about their bad behavior, only to have your reality twisted in return…in ways that can really make your head spin!
Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse that most often shows up in toxic romantic relationships, but it can also manifest in dynamics with friends, coworkers, employers, family members, and even neighbors and landlords.
At its core, gaslighting is the manipulation of your sense of reality, leaving you confused, anxious, and doubting yourself and your own perceptions. Sometimes it’s very obvious and unmistakable. Other times, it happens so subtly you may not even realize you’re being manipulated.
The term “gaslighting” comes from the 1938 stage play Gas Light, which was later made into the 1944 film of the same name.
In the story, a husband tricks his wealthy wife into thinking she’s going crazy by making small changes to their surroundings, like dimming the gas lights, and then denying that anything has changed. His goal is to make her doubt her own sanity, so he could have her committed to a mental institution and gain control of her inheritance.
Are You Holding On To The Wrong Person?
Many of the questions that callers ask me during readings have one thing in common: how another person is affecting the their health, happiness, and peace of mind.
Despite the differences in the details, the underlying story is often the same: the person’s inner light is dimmed because they have been giving too much power to another person’s choices, moods, or shortcomings.
Many people seem to be in the wrong relationships. They hold on, waiting for things to change and hoping for the best. They postpone plans, silence their own needs and preferences, and test the limits of their patience, believing that a breakthrough will come tomorrow.
However, that is usually not what happens. People do not change for another person, and if they do, it never lasts or works out in the long run. A change driven by the need to please someone else rarely survives the stress of real life. As soon as complications arise, old habits resurface. People can only change for themselves.
Spirit’s guidance on this is always very clear: hanging onto the wrong person — whether a friend, family member, spouse, partner, lover, or boss — prevents us from experiencing the best life has to offer.
When we’re busy monitoring someone else’s actions, we have less capacity for our own personal and spiritual growth. This prevents the amazing blessings waiting for us from coming in, not because the universe is ‘stingy,’ but because our time and attention are fully booked.
When Walking Away Is A Sacred Act of Love
One of the most life-changing truths we come to face on the spiritual path is this: not everyone is meant to walk with us all the way.
As we awaken and align more closely with our authentic self, some relationships begin to fall away. While it’s natural to resist this because endings hurt and change can feel like loss, there is a quiet, sacred truth beneath it all: Letting go is often an act of love.
As your soul expands, you begin to see your relationships differently. They are no longer just emotional bonds or physical connections; they reveal themselves as soul contracts—agreements made on a spiritual level before you ever met people in the physical realm.
Some people come into your life to uplift you, to love you, and to walk beside you for the long haul. Others arrive to teach you about boundaries, self-worth, and discernment. Once their role is complete, the relationship may start to feel heavy, strained, or even harmful. This isn’t failure; it’s a sign that the contract has been fulfilled.
Yet, this part of the journey is rarely discussed. In spiritual circles, we often hear messages about unconditional love, compassion, forgiveness, and acceptance. These are indeed sacred spiritual principles. But we rarely hear the equally sacred teaching that sometimes the most loving thing you can do is walk away!
Letting go of a toxic or misaligned relationship is not abandonment or selfishness. It’s not also not a sign of weakness, cowardice, or a lack of spiritual depth. In fact, it often requires more courage and clarity than staying.
They Can’t Gaslight You If You Trust Your Gut!
Gaslighting can be a very destructive aspect of a toxic relationship. It basically refers to any form of “reality twisting” or “crazy-making” that is designed to confuse or manipulate the victim.
Gaslighting is used to gain power and control in the relationship by making the victim question their reality. The phenomenon is typically found in romantic relationships, but it can occur in all kinds of social relationships, including friendships, at work, and with neighbors.
Sometimes it’s done in an obvious way, right under the victim’s nose, but more often it’s done under the radar, and you don’t always know who’s gaslighting you, or even that you’re being gaslighted.
“Gaslighting” is a psychological term derived from the 1938 stage play Gas Light and its 1940 and 1944 film adaptations. The movie is about a husband’s attempts to systematically drive his wife crazy by repeatedly dimming the gas lights in their home, only to deny that it ever happened when the wife asks him if he also noticed it. Over time, he manipulates his wife to the point where she believes she is imagining things and loses her mind.
Gaslighting is a common manipulation technique used by dictators, con artists, abusers, sociopaths, narcissists, and cult leaders. It’s done in such a way that the victim rarely realizes how much they’ve actually been brainwashed.
At first, the victim may have the idea that they’re not imagining things, but that someone else is doing this to them. They may even have an intuition about who that person is. However, the goal of gaslighting is to get victims to doubt these rational thoughts and replace them completely with the belief that there is something wrong with them, either mentally, spiritually, emotionally, or physically. The worst part, in my opinion, is that it makes you doubt your own intuition.
Clearing Toxic Energy From Your Home
When I do a reading for a client, I not only read their energy, but I also tune into the energy of their loved ones, co-workers, friends, home and work environments, and community. Often, it quickly becomes apparent that the client’s home environment is toxic, stagnant, or energetically polluted, deeply affecting their health, well-being, and spiritual harmony.
In these cases, clients often report a mix of physical and emotional symptoms commonly seen with energy pollution, which may include fatigue, irritability, anxiety, depression, oversleeping or insomnia, cravings for sugar, caffeine, or alcohol.
Sometimes there are also spiritual, supernatural, or paranormal issues in the home. These may include a persistent feeling of “being watched” or an unexplained heaviness or unusual temperature variations in certain areas of their home.
Clients may also describe disturbing dreams and nighmares, an inability to connect with their intuition, or a sense of spiritual detachment. Some even mention hearing unexplained noises or experiencing a frequent loss of items in the home that later turn up in strange or unexpected places.
The reason for this is that a energetically polluted environment tends to amplify negative spiritual attachments or attract energies that feed on the chaos. Such clients often express difficulty maintaining protective spiritual practices, such as meditation or grounding, and feel that their energy feeling drained or blocked.
Surround Yourself With Love, Light And Positive People
Some people emanate a charismatic warmth and depth that is almost otherworldly. Their presence is soothing, their energy uplifting, and their kindness genuine.
These are the souls you want to stay connected with — the ones who inspire, support and nurture your growth. They bring light into your life, and in their company you feel understood, valued, and enriched. Such people are rare gems, and when you find them, you cherish them.
On the other hand, some people remain stagnant in their personal growth and soul evolution. They resist change and cling to old patterns and limiting beliefs. Again, this is part of the human experience, and it is not for others to judge.
Instead, I imagine them finding their own path elsewhere. I envision them thriving, but at a distance from my own journey. It is not selfish to protect your own energy; it is necessary for your health and well-being.
Then there are those who seem perpetually stuck in a schoolyard mentality, indulging in gossip and petty rivalries. Although they have grown physically, their emotional and spiritual maturity lags behind. The game of “grapevine” is their chosen pastime, spreading rumors, conspiracy theories and toxic negativity.
These individuals serve as a spiritual reminder of what we must rise above. Instead of engaging them, release them with love – let them be do their karmic growth somewhere else, far from your peace and joy. Continue reading