toxic people
Heal Your Toxic Family Legacy With Ancestral Guidance
Our loved ones in spirit are aware of things that we cannot see. Once they have crossed over to the other side, they begin to connect with us through signs and synchronicities, as well as in the dream state, to guide us on our life journey.
One of the life challenges they can assist with is healing generational trauma and breaking the cycle of toxic family abuse. In their new state of higher consciousness, they are now able to clearly see how they may have wronged us while they were here, and how they contributed to a dysfunctional ancestral legacy, often going back many generations.
As part of their own life review and soul evolution process in the afterlife, they want to provide us with insight and guidance, to help us undo some of the mistakes they made and break the family curse of dysfunction and abuse, so that we can be blessed with healing, joy and unconditional love.
I have channeled many readings for clients over the years to offer them this type of guidance from their loved ones and ancestors in spirit. The spiritual guidance they received proved to be of great value in their lives and brought much peace and healing to their families, as well as their romantic relationships and marriages.
Some of the self-care goodies and nuggets of divine wisdom that my clients have received from spirit over the years include:
Betrayal Blindness And The Family Scapegoat
I have a good friend who was raised by a mother who constantly belittled and talked down to her. She never defended herself, because she grew up believing that she deserved her mother’s abuse, because something was wrong with her causing her to always say and do the wrong things.
Once she graduated high school, she moved out of her mom’s house. Her life became much more peaceful for several years, until she started noticing that her brother was following in their mother’s footsteps by adopting the same kind of toxic, abusive language towards her.
It oddly became evident to her one year at Christmas time, when she gifted him a beautiful, crocheted blanket that she had been working on for many months and he rolled his eyes and made some disparaging remark about it. She then started noticing how pompous, ungrateful, and narcissistic he truly was. Growing up with him, she always assumed he just had bit of an ego or a macho attitude, but now that she had gained life experience and wisdom, she realized he was simply an abusive jerk.
Still, she chose not to criticize or judge him. In fact, she did the opposite, she encouraged his long-suffering partner to stay by his side and continue to support and love him, because she understood that he was also just a product of his upbringing, like herself. Meanwhile, he faithfully continued judging and belittling her. Because that is what he had seen their mother do all his life.
But one day, something inside her finally shifted. She had reached a point of no return and decided to start standing up for herself! Enough already.
Setting Healthy Boundaries With Toxic People
I have often wondered why so many of us tolerate unhealthy, unhappy, and sometimes very dysfunctional relationships with relatives and friends. Too many of us endure the toxic dynamics in our families and friendships, putting up with being the scapegoat, emotional punching bag, financial provider, free therapist, or nanny.
Why is it that many of us tend to keep giving the people in our lives second chances and multiple opportunities to learn and grow, hoping that they will somehow become more considerate, loving, and compassionate?
Meanwhile, we ignore their nasty words, spiteful behaviors, and toxic exchanges. We remain kind, tolerant, and patient. We try to help them lighten up, or connect on a deeper, more caring level. We hope that maybe someday everyone will be happier together and enjoy sharing more love and belonging, instead of dysfunction and drama.
But as the years go by, they continue to disappoint, abuse, and betray us. The loving kindness and mutual support never comes. Try as we might in these toxic situations, the people we love and care about will continue to talk down to us or try to make us feel that we are not good enough. These complicated family and friendship situations can eventually cost us our physical and mental health, our financial security, and our personal accomplishments.
I find this to often be the case with my clients who are gifted, empathic, highly sensitive, and spiritually aware. Some even consider it their purpose or calling in this lifetime. However, while being a wounded healer or earth angel is certainly a noble calling, being a scapegoat or doormat is definitely not! God, Source, Spirit, the Divine wants us to be happy, healthy and safe, and to live our best life.
Protect Yourself From Negative Energy Attachments
A neighbor once asked me to smudge her home and bless it, because she felt there was a lot of negative energy there. She could just ‘feel it.’ People lived below her that she could hear arguing until late hours in the night, using foul language. They would chain smoke too, to the extent that it would rise up through the floorboards. It made her feel sick and caused her to have migraine headaches. Apart from that there were also some old ‘cobwebs’ of trapped negative energy that she wanted me to some and clean out.
She had been dealing with the ups and downs of depression for as long I’ve known her. She is one of the sweetest people you could ever hope to meet, let alone have as a neighbor. She is very kind and always there if you need her. She would be very social at times, inviting friends from church over and entertaining friends regularly, for several weeks, and then she would suddenly feel overwhelmed by the chaos and drama of the people around her, feel drained and depressed, and withdraw from everyone. Then you would not see her for weeks, sometimes months.
I told her I felt that she needed to protect herself energetically and shared with her ways that she can do this. I explained to her that sometimes, when we engage with people, we can pick up some of their negative energies. Even if they are seemingly good people, who go to church and so on, it doesn’t necessarily mean that these people are free from negative energies, or worse, unwanted spirit attachments.
Ghosting, Gaslighting And Gameplaying!
In my work as a psychic, I assist clients daily with navigating life’s challenges, especially their relationships with the people in their life. While the guidance I receive from spirit has essentially remained the same over the years, the language I use to relay this information changes over time.
The professional psychic must constantly adapt and renovate the terminology she uses in readings to communicate spirit’s messages. New slang and buzzwords continually show up in our culture as society evolves, and it must become part of the psychic’s vocabulary to ensure she communicates clearly and effectively.
Three of the new terms that frequently comes up in readings these days is ghosting, gaslighting, and gameplaying.
Ghosting
Ghosting is when someone stops communicating with you, casually ignores you, and no longer replies to any of your calls or messages. All communication is abandoned for no apparent reason.
“He has been ghosting me!” some clients frequently exclaim. “What is going on? Why is he acting this way?” In these readings, it often becomes clear that he may be doing so for one of the following reasons:
Learning To Forgive
Accepting, letting go and forgiving is difficult, but necessary to thrive and live our best life. When we do not forgive, we carry toxic energy within that poisons us mind, body and soul.
Energetically non-forgiveness wreaks havoc in our chakras that can cause physical disease and mental illness. Our chakras store the energies of negative life events and experiences, if we do not release it, and heal those imbalances and blockages.
Forgiving does not mean we condone or exonerate the evil deeds of others, nor do we have to allow the people who have wronged us back into our life. This is seldom wise.
However, it is also not karmically smart to harbor resentment, seek vengeance, or wish others harm…for it will come back to us. Forgiveness is to surrender control and allowing karma to deal with those who wronged us.
When we forgive and release the trauma others have caused us, their choices and actions can no longer control us, nor steal our happiness, joy, and well-being. This is why forgiveness is the best gift we can give to ourselves.
Forgiveness does not set the wrongdoer free or exempt them from their karmic debt. Instead, we set ourselves free, so that their karmic choices no longer interfere with our energetic well-being and our divine right to manifest our best life. When we do not forgive and move on, it will continue to haunt us. It gradually infiltrates and contaminates every aspect of our life, and even causes us to attract more of the same unwanted experiences.
How To Deal With Toxic People
Toxic people can be incredibly difficult to deal with in both personal and professional relationships and can be detrimental to your personal happiness and well-being.
A toxic person is someone whose constant negativity and dysfunctional behavior causes drama in your life and drains you energy whenever they are around. Typical toxic traits include negativity, cynicism, apathy, lack of self-awareness, arrogance, entitlement, self-centeredness, domineering behavior, lack of empathy, being judgmental, dishonesty, anger outbursts, to name only a few.
The most extreme forms of toxicity includes personality disorders like antisocial, borderline, histrionic, and narcissistic personality disorder. A personality disorder is a rigid, deeply characteristic way of thinking, feeling and acting that severely affects the person’s mental well-being, personal relationships and social life.
Toxic people can however be tricky to identify at first, as their dysfunctional traits and behaviors can be very subtle. Some of them are also very good at ‘gaslighting,’ which makes interacting with them even more treacherous.
Gaslighting is a very toxic form of manipulation, game playing, or crazymaking in which you are constantly being misled, confused, lied to, and made to question your own truth and reality. You increasingly feel unsure about the accuracy of your own memories regarding certain events and your personal opinions and perceptions of the world. You may even begin to think that you are to blame for the toxic person’s actions, or that maybe something is very wrong with you, or worse, that you are losing your mind.