toxic people
When It’s Time To Draw The Line!
There comes a time when you need to draw a line and walk away from people who constantly disrespect, criticize, or belittle you.
Even if you can’t walk away completely because you’re related, you need to at least set some clear boundaries and keep them at arm’s length.
But in some cases, it is best to have no contact at all with toxic relatives.
The great spiritual teachers have all taught us the same golden rule.
Jesus said, “In all things do to others as you would have them do to you, for this is the sum total of the Law and the Prophets.”
Buddha said, “Do not harm others in a way that you would not harm yourself.”
Muhammad said, “None of you truly believes until he wishes for his brother what he wishes for himself.”
Krishna said, “This is the sum total of duty: do not do to others what would cause pain if done to yourself.”
Well, the same is true in reverse. You are a child of the Divine. You were created in the image of God. You are a spiritual being in human form. No one has the right to treat you any way they would not want to be treated themselves.
Learning To Honor My Higher Self
Have you ever had a conversation with someone that made you feel very uncomfortable, upset, even angry, to the point where you could feel their negative, toxic energy attaching to you? I certainly have, more times than I care to remember.
This feeling of extreme discomfort is usually a clear sign that the interaction you are having with this person is going against your higher self. Yet, even though we are aware of this on some level, we often fail to do what is right for our highest good and instead continue to interact with the energy thief in question to our own detriment.
Truth be told, I have been guilty of this myself many times. Only to face the aftermath of unhappiness and disappointment for not honoring my higher self.
I have recently become increasingly aware of this personal failing and have been actively working to identify my motives for putting and keeping myself in these situations.
I have come so far in my quest for increased self-awareness and spiritual growth that I am willing to explore and deal with the deepest corners of my soul-self. True enlightenment is not only about our brightest achievements, but also about our darkest inner shadows.
Surround Yourself With Divine Love
Love is a concept I encounter every day in my work, and it is indeed a multifaceted thing. In its purest form, it manifests itself as a mother’s love for her child, a partner’s love for his spouse, or a sibling’s love for a brother or sister.
But love also takes more subtle forms. It can be reflected in a teacher’s love for expanding young minds, a researcher’s desire to advance humanity, or an engineer’s fine attention to detail.
There are also negative, toxic forms of ‘love.’ Too much love, though usually well-intentioned, can be harmful. The hovering parent, the controlling spouse, the overprotective friend can stifle true growth, trust, and creativity.
Sometimes conditional love is traded like a commodity or used as a weapon. It can be withheld when behavior is perceived as lacking or used as a reward for conforming to the status quo.
Fake love is also used as a facade or camouflage. The world is full of negative energy and hidden agendas disguised as projects of love that are supposed to be “for the greater good.”
Sometimes love turns into distractions, such as self-centered schemes that are really based on greed. Some people who profess love in truth worship false praise, accolades, and self-enrichment.
Spirit invites us to abandon the charade of false love. Instead, we should strive to be kind, compassionate, and generous without expecting anything in return. We must give others the benefit of the doubt without judging their worth or intent. Each day we should step forward and ask, “How can I help?” instead of making negative assumptions. Spiritual people lead by example. We must show the world the divine beings we are inside.
Remove Toxic People From Your Life
Have you ever had the presence of an emotional vampire in your life? This can happen in a love relationship, a friendship, or with a family member.
You will feel like your soul is being drained, you are not yourself. Your joy is gone when you are around them, you can’t be yourself. If all of this describes how you feel, then maybe it’s time to do some soul searching. Remember who you are and how important you are.
I have counseled so many people who are normally outgoing, loving, supportive, wonderful souls, but sometimes these folks are so giving that they give their power away. They forget to protect and take care of themselves.
Are there people in your life whose needs seem to be all that matters, but yours never do? Love is not love and friendship is not friendship if you have to put yourself aside on a daily basis in a relationship. We must constantly remind ourselves of this.
Sure, relationships are give and take, but when they seem to be only take and take and there is no giving, something is wrong.
Who we surround ourselves with, who we give our time to, greatly affect the quality of our lives and our spirit. If you suspect that someone is a toxic person, do not be afraid to set boundaries and make changes in your life.
You deserve to feel nothing less than wonderful and lovable, as God, Source, Spirit, the Divine intended you to be. Do not let fear make you settle for less than what you are worth.
The Golden Power Of Silence
I took my early morning walk today along a path surrounded by an olive grove on one side and almond trees on the other. In the background the beautiful hills seemed mystical in the early morning mist.
The only sounds that broke the silence at this early hour were the chirping of birds and the bleating of baby goats playing on the small farm opposite my house. Occasionally they were interrupted by their father, who seemed to keep them safe by nudging them into a particular corner of the property.
In these moments of peaceful silence I like to have a dialogue with spirit to receive some guidance or direction for the day, as well as answers to questions I may have about my life and work. But today I felt guided to simply contemplate the meaning of silence.
There are many forms of silence, some less peaceful than others. For example, there are the ‘elephant in the room’ or ‘cold shoulder’ moments of silence when there is awkwardness between people. There is also the ‘poker face’ silence, when someone pretends to listen, but in reality has mentally withdrawn from the conversation. We also fall silent when we are perplexed or confused. Sometimes we keep silent to avoid possible misunderstandings.
A very powerful form of silence occurs when we are deeply engaged in an activity, alone or with others. Everything else seems to fade away as we concentrate on the task at hand.
And of course the best kind of silence is when we are in communion with spirit and the cosmos. In these moments we feel completely at peace and connected to others and the universe. This silence nourishes the soul and gives rise to divine inspiration and spiritual insight.
Is Their Kind Gesture Selfless Love?
I’m sure you know some wonderful people who just seem to do or say the right thing at the right time. It really makes you feel good to have friends who go out of their way to bring you some chicken noodle soup when they hear you’re not feeling well. Those friends are like jewels!
I love doing charity work. It makes my heart feel good to just give without wanting anything in return. It is always a great feeling to be able to do something good for another person. It makes me feel like I’m fulfilling my purpose in life to help others in any way I can.
It could be a kind word, or giving them some insight or answers to a question that can set them on the right path in life, or even knitting a scarf for children who don’t have anything warm to wear because their parents can’t afford it. It gives me a sense of happiness that you just can’t get any other way. It makes you feel connected to the source of all that is good and right in this world.
But I have also known people who do things just to get something in return. They will always remind you of this great deed they did just to get something from you. Or they will make you feel guilty for something they did for you. That is not a real friend.
I have also known people who will do things to get a free psychic reading, not realising how much time, energy and dedication it takes to do meaningful psychic work. There are times when I work too much and actually get sick from it. It drains me so much that I have to take a few days or even weeks off.
Breaking Free From A Toxic Family Curse
Over the past year and a half, I have been working with a client who grew up in one of the most toxic families I have ever encountered in my work. It has been a long time since I have been so moved by a client’s tragic story and ancestral legacy. With her permission, I thought it might be helpful to share some of her experiences.
She was raised by an extremely narcissistic mother who manipulated and emotionally abused her for most of her life with belittling scapegoating and harsh criticism, until she finally managed to break free and set healing, healthy boundaries.
But once those long overdue boundaries were in place, she suddenly discovered that her siblings had taken it upon themselves to continue their mother’s toxic behavior toward her! While she thought she had finally found some peace in her life, and could safely confide in her siblings about her healing journey, she soon found out how wrong she was.
Until recently, she had openly shared her thoughts and feelings about her mother with her siblings. They, in turn, wholeheartedly agreed and confided that they felt the same way. As her younger siblings, they claimed to have endured similar abuse from their mother. No matter what they said or did, they were also constantly verbally attacked and criticized by her.
Meanwhile, none of her siblings claims were true. As the family scapegoat she was in fact the only one who endured all their mother’s abuse. I tried to caution her every time we did a reading, but she suffered betrayal blindness when it came to her siblings, in the same way she did for many years with her mom.