toxic people
Spring Is A Time For Personal Renewal
With the recent equinox in the Northern Hemisphere, the spring season is returning once again, bringing with it a renewed sense of energy and optimism. The longer days, warmer weather, chirping robins, and budding blossoms beckon us to start afresh and make some positive life changes.
As the seasons merge from cold to warm, it’s the perfect time to let go of some unwanted ‘winter habits’ and embrace some healthier lifestyle practices in the coming weeks.
One of the most uplifting ways to embrace the spirit of spring is to let go of things that no longer serve and support the best version of you. It’s a time to clear out the mental, emotional and physical ‘clutter’ and make space for new blessings to come our way.
Whether it’s a bad habit, a toxic relationship, or simply old possessions no longer needed, getting rid of what no longer serves us is always a liberating, empowering experience.
Releasing old energy and letting go of attachments can be challenging and complicated, but it is essential for our personal growth and well-being. We often hold onto things way too long out of fear, insecurity, or simply habit. It limits us from experiencing new and exciting opportunities. Life begins outside our comfort zone.
Think of it like cleaning out your closet. We all have clothes that no longer fit, are out of style, or we simply don’t wear anymore. Removing these items makes room for fashionable new items that better reflect who we are today that we will love to wear.
Striving To Embody The Higher Self
The higher self, the soul, the spirit is the spiritually supreme, eternal aspect of our conscious existence that is unencumbered by the human ego and connected to the greater cosmic universe.
When people spiritually awaken, they begin to realize that we tend to constantly operate from the ego, with only subtle, mostly subconscious bouts of guidance and inspiration from spirit. They begin to feel the difference in their personal energy vibration when they are operating more consciously from spirit, but it is a challenge to consistently remain in this powerful state of divine alignment.
One’s life however becomes noticeably different once you manage to connect to the higher self on a more constant and consistent basis. You also become more circumspect about what you spend your time and energy on. Spiritual self-care and a conscious lifestyle becomes extremely important.
In the connected, aware state of steadily embodying the higher self we no longer feel the need, for example, to accumulate as many material things and status symbols as possible, and we no longer say yes to everyone and everything for the simple fear of missing out.
We also tend to choose a new tribe and begin to increasingly spend time with people who are also in a state of higher vibration. We also progressively lose our interest in dysfunctional, lower vibrational behavior, like criticism, pettiness, perfectionism, gossip, judgment and wanting to control and manipulate others.
When we are more permanently aligned with the higher self, we become more empowered as deliberate creators and are able to manifest our desires more profoundly. We also become more grateful for the daily little miracles of life and keenly present in every moment. And we become more in tune with our soul purpose and begin to fearlessly pursue our true passions.
Being Your Strongest, Most Authentic Self
Many people tend to think that being vulnerable and open is a bad thing, because it makes them vulnerable to getting hurt in life and especially in relationships.
When someone disappoints or hurts us, whether deliberately or inadvertently, it is usually because they have deep wounds of their own that stems from their past, especially for their childhood. These unresolved traumas are often dormant and unconscious.
One might feel this is still no excuse to treat others poorly, or that they should know better. However, because these people typically have not done much inner work or self-healing to really know how to be in loving, happy, and functional relationships. I’m not condoning their bad behavior, but if they actually do not know any better, then how can one expect it from them?
I find people who are stuck in such patterns of hurting others are usually very much defensive and in denial. If you gently suggest what you may need from them, or bring up an aspect that the two of you could work on together to improve the relationship, they tend to instantly throw what you say back in your face and make it all about you. Suddenly, all of it is your fault.
This defensive behavior is a clear signal that this person has a lot of hurt, and is either fearful or unable to work through it. Therefore, if you bring up something that triggers their pain, they immediately see it as a threat. They feel attacked, or that they are being made a scapegoat.
Actions Speak Louder Than Words!
Actions are key in a relationship of any kind, whether it be with family, friends, co-workers, romantic partners, or spouses. Actions indeed speak louder than words! Our behavior and deeds reveal who we truly are. If I was only allowed to offer my clients one piece of relationship advice for the rest of my life, then this would be it: trust what they do, not what they say.
Here is how to look at it. Let’s say you have arranged to go on a date with someone, but they do not show up, and they have all kinds of excuses later. Okay, life happens. So, they did not notify you of their no-show, and they did not care about your feelings in contacting you. Not good. I am not saying dump them right away, but carefully consider how they handled the situation with you. Do they at least appear to care?
This may be a pattern of theirs, so here is where you already need to start watching their actions more carefully. This event may have been due to a random set of unfortunate circumstances beyond their control, or it is an early ‘red flag’ of who they really are. If someone is okay with disappointing or hurting you with the little things, they will have no problem doing the same someday when it truly matters.
Here is another example that I often find in readings: cheating. Let’s say your boyfriend cheated once, and you caught them. He is all upset with himself, and you guys talk it out. He promises he will never do it again. Now, it is one thing for him to say it, but quite another for him to actually keep his word! His future actions will ultimately reveal the truth. If he repeats the same behavior, then his cheating is not just a mistake or a red flag – it is a dealbreaker!
Forgive, But Never Forget!
I’ve been reflecting on the notion of ‘forgive and forget’ in this season of thanksgiving, joy, generosity, and gratitude. Is it indeed necessary for us to both forgive and forget when others wrong us? Does that not make is doormats or losers? Consulting spirit on this matter, I found that the concept of ‘forgetting’ actually implies something quite different to our typical understanding of it.
True forgiveness is to ‘turn the other cheek’ when we are wronged. It is an essential aspect of our spiritual growth and soul evolution. When we practice forgiveness, we increase dharma, which is essentially ‘cosmic law and order’ and therefore ‘good karma.’ If we have good dharma, we begin to receive more gifts and blessings from the Universe, and spontaneous kindness and generosity from others. We also become more approachable because our ‘gratitude glass’ is always more than half full with spiritual champagne!
Spiritual practice and energetic self-care are the optimal ways to practice and strengthen our forgiveness. Through daily prayer, meditation, candle work, or journaling, supplemented by anointing ourselves with healing essential oils, for example, or taking an Epsom salt bath, we can release all resentment, anger and bitterness that block our energy flow and holds us back.
The other person does not need to know that we’ve forgiven them. It is of course even better if we tell them, but their participation or approval is not necessary. Forgiveness is a private matter and a gift we give to ourselves.
Forgetting harms and hurts is however an entirely different matter. If we forget too easily, we also tend to stop reflecting gratefully on our joys and blessings. Bad things happening to good people increases our appreciation and gratitude for the good things in our lives.
Divine Love Abides All
When we have love in our life we can keep negative entities away from us on the lower realms, as well as on the earthly walking realm. There are both malicious people and malevolent non-physical beings in this world. Divine Love protects us from their evil.
When we live our life with unconditional love in our hearts, and keep a calm mind and spirit, we are easily read by others as being very kind loving people – it shows on our faces. You sometimes can’t tell on some people’s faces if they are good or evil, because Satan, or the Evil One, is tricky and manipulative. The Bible tells us that Lucifer was a beautiful angel in the beginning, before he fell and became corrupt.
It is so important to live with the Divine Spark inside of us and be mindful of what we put into our bodies, as I’ve seen energy shift and people’s faces shift when they open the door to negativity and evil influences in their lives. Some are more susceptible than others. For example, people who abuse alcohol allow really low spiritual entities into their lives, to seek and ruin and destroy anything good that they have going on – especially by way of relationships. Some people should just stay far away from alcohol, as they become very aggressive and belligerent, and just not themselves when they drink. I have seen people ruin their lives because of alcohol.
Anything that can deter you from Divine Love is not of the Light. Everything is best in moderation. But for some the negative energy keeps them wanting more as the negative entities around them wants them to fail, so that they themselves can grow stronger while their victim’s life slowly goes in a downward spiral. In some cases, their addictions make them so depressed they even take their own life, and it hinders their soul from achieving soul growth in this current incarnation they are in.
Only You Can Heal A Recurring Emotional Injury
We are all negatively impacted at times by certain events or people causing us emotional hurt and trauma.
If this is something that is currently weighing on your mind and you feel emotionally injured or overwhelmed today, then the following strategies may help you to overcome the recent setback you suffered.
Not only can these three steps help you to better deal with your current emotional injury, but it can also bring about lasting positive change in your life.
Step 1: Feeling Through
It is vital to process negative emotions. You should never try to suppress or repress unpleasant feelings. It is important that you allow yourself to fully feel your current emotion. Don’t think or rationalize, just feel.
Let the tears of sadness flow, lean into the fear or anxious feelings, or embrace the anger and disappointed. To process and ultimately resolve these feelings, we must first truly feel them.
However, do not spend too much time in this stage of the process. Truly feeling your negative emotions does not mean you must obsess over it or constantly dwell on it. A few hours, or at most a day or two, then let it go! Do not let it drag on for weeks or months, because this will not heal you and will only have a counterproductive effect. After the one-time ‘feeling through’, it is time to move on to the next stage.