sadness
Authentic Feelings Are Not Always ‘Sunshine And Rainbows’
What a comfortable, easy life this would be if everyone could just feel like ‘sunshine and rainbows’ all the time. The truth is that the many of the most worthwhile things in life do not come from ‘easy’ and ‘comfortable.’ And when we suppress our true feelings, it is ultimately detrimental to our health body, mind, and spirit.
Revealing our true feelings does not come easily for many of us. I am not trying to make up an excuse, but I just was not brought up that way. My parents’ generation were masters of the art of concealing their true feelings, good or bad. When I am doing a mediumship reading, and a departed parent or grandparent shows up, they often say things like, “I wish I told you more often how much I love you.”
I could count on one hand the moments in my childhood that I can remember my parents showing affection for each other in front of us children. Those of us who had been brought up in such a stoic family environment, tend to struggle when are encouraged to express our deepest emotions. As an adult, I do however see the bigger picture today. And I do feel it is necessary to express one’s feelings in a considerate and healthy way.
In my family my parents also never argued in front of us kids. My dad just gave my mom the silent treatment. We grew up thinking he was just be the ‘strong silent type.’ Consequently, I felt that this was what communication in a marriage should be like.
Of course, reality hit me badly with my first marriage, when my ex-husband and I had our first serious argument! I thought it meant the marriage was now over, because I had no coping skills or frame of reference for this kind of authentic self-expression in a relationship. I also had no clue how to have a good, healthy argument.
Healing The Pain Of Losing Your Beloved
Understanding the true nature of our soul journey, how does one cope with the pain of physical separation when our loved ones leave the physical form? There is no easy way to cope with the grief of separation from a beloved. It opens the water ways of deep emotion that rise and fall like the waves on the sea.
Even in the super-excellent times of Radha and Krishna, the supreme divine feminine and masculine described in the ancient spiritual texts of Srimad-Bhagavatam, waves of love in separation were displayed and described to the ultimate pure degree. These transcendental writings identifies the eternal realm of divine love as the original clear source of all that we experience here in a dimly reflected form, including the pain of being parted from the physical presence of a dear soulmate.
So, what can we learn from this source that we can mirror in undergoing this heart aching distress in our own lives?
The first lesson we can take away from the transcendental example is that pain in separation is a gift of love. It arises in direct proportion to the depth of the soul-to-soul connection shared between two people. Thus, every pang, however painful, is like an ornament decorating the heart with the truth of that blessed union. It embodies a reminder not only of the person, but of the great treasure we were fortunate to hold in our arms…and still in our hearts. It invites us to feel grateful for the rare opportunity we had received to experience such deep love in this world. Continue reading
Love Yourself, And Don’t Stop Believing
Recently, I had time to reflect on different aspects of my own life and where it was, or wasn’t going. I was starting to feel self-pity creeping up on me, and had to act to shift my energy out of that negative space, as it would trickle off into other areas of my life.
I was supposed to attend a celebration with family on a Wednesday, as well as a gathering with another group of relatives on the following Saturday. But I wasn’t prioritizing my own needs and well-being, and the Universe decided to put an end to my plans.
To cut a long story short, on the Wednesday, instead of going to the party, I landed in the local hospital emergency room, as my knee gave out and I could not walk. The Universe was telling me to rest – to sit down and get my priorities back in order.
My priorities have always been my children and grandchildren, and that hasn’t changed. However, my views on the recurring family drama, with regards who can go see who, and when, and where, and how, has significantly changed. I have decided to let go of always trying to keep the peace, and please everyone. I no longer wish to expose myself to the unnecessary stress and commotion of it all.
I let it go by simply asking my angels to deal on my behalf with all the stuff that I could no longer hold inside and carry, and take it off my shoulders. And yes, it took me a couple days to realize what was needed, but as soon as I did this, the need for walking with a cane started to disappear and the pain and swelling in my knee has been minimal the last couple of days.
How To Be Patient In Times Of Crisis
Just about every day, we face some sort of obstacle, delay in communication, or a situation that doesn’t go our way. And in times of an unexpected crisis, our first response is too assume the worst, or panic.
Negative feelings can creep up and overtake the mind, sending us into fits of rage, sadness or disillusionment, due to the lack of patience in surrendering our control and allowing those emotions to pass with total acceptance.
When we become impatient, our entire being is out of balance and the auric energy field becomes muddy and chaotic. Agitation and strain then become the primary motivator, and there is a loss of self-awareness within.
Impatience never makes things happen faster, or better, and the worst way this can manifest is when we try to force an issue, or get a person to instantly say yes, or go along with our vision.
Whenever impatience or uncomfortable feelings arise, it’s vital to make a conscious effort to redirect that negativity and nip it in the bud, so you can stay calm during the toughest times. Here are some strategies to help alleviate impatience when your feeling triggered.
Breathing
Take several deep breaths from your stomach and exhale out the stress, focusing on your third eye as you release your breath. Think of something funny or inspirational so you don’t unleash unnecessary aggression.
Simple Self-Care To Improve Your Well-Being
We are living in stressful times, but this can also be a time of reflection, and looking into the future, making plans. If you are currently feeling depressed, or in despair, there are many simple things you can do to ease your mind, or lift your spirits.
To begin, take some time to reflect on how you are feeling. Often we are unaware of how things are really affecting us. Consider how you may be choosing to perceive things, and whether you need to take some time to truly process some of your thoughts and feelings. Just recognizing that you are sad, afraid, frustrated, or depressed, is already a step in the right direction.
Remind yourself also that some of your thoughts and feelings may not be unusual in these unusual circumstances. Many people are going through the same thing at the moment. You are definitely not alone.
Each of us react differently to unpleasant life events. Try to stay positive and not be so down on yourself. Try to be more proactive and take time to reflect on what is most important in your life. Meditation, and other forms of spiritual practice, is a great way to relieve stress in your life.
The Rosary Reflections Of A Spiritualist
Some of us are merely going through the motions every day, doing what we think others expect of us, doing the ‘should’ we put on ourselves. Living life by rote. I equate this to saying prayer beads. It becomes almost an unconscious act. So, when something unexpected happens, like the coronavirus pandemic, and we are forced to slow down, or even come to a complete halt, we are suddenly confronted with our own truths.
For some of us, the only things that then come to mind are all the things that we perceive we have done ‘wrong’ in the past. We feel guilt over all the people we have disappointed or hurt. We mourn the relationships that did not go the distance. We obsess over the skeletons in our own personal closet.
When we get into this mindset of shame and regret, it affects our immune system and our well-being. The ‘poor me, bad me, angry me’ turns into a very ‘toxic me.’ When the world seems to be falling apart, the mind does a life review. We let the fear and regret creep in. What if there really is an afterlife, even if you have always said, “I don’t believe in heaven and hell.” The ‘what if’s’ in life can really do a number on us. When faced with uncertain times it is only natural to think about our own mortality, and our failures and past mistakes.
One thing I find that really helps, is to reflect on the good memories. Let the unpleasant ones come and go, and not reside in your mind. Thoughts are such powerful things, especially when you are still reflecting on things at 3am in the morning, while you should be sleeping. These worries and bad memories are usually things we can’t do anything about, even if we desperately want to.
When things seem out of control, flip the switch. Reflect instead on all the things you have accomplished. Think about things in your life that have brought you great joy. Times that even one person said good job. People that have said “I hear you,” and “you matter to me.”
Kindness Begins With Greater Self-Care
In a world where you can be anything, be kind. And kindness starts with being kind to yourself. When we are not kind to ourselves, we cannot be kind to others, and others will also be unkind to us! When we are not kind to ourselves we allow that type of behavior, be it from a spouse, sibling, friend, or relative.
So, kindness really starts with us. When we are kind to ourselves, the domino effect is that we are happier, healthier and more energized. When we are not carving out time for self-care, we are not being kind to ourselves, and cannot truly be kind to others.
Sometimes people can be unkind not even realizing it. How is that? Well, by playing the part of the victim, or acting like others are responsible for their happiness or contentment. They make others feel guilty, because they are putting their problems upon others, without realizing that it is often their own self-made issues.
Everyone has free will. We are ultimately where we choose to put ourselves. In the end no one else is to blame. Period.
A vital aspect of self-kindness is to employ healthy boundaries when others make us feel bad, because they are sad and unhappy. When we take better care of ourselves and come in alignment with our soul, body and mind, we can recognize this. You are not put upon this Earth to energetically fill up the cups of others. Learn to say no, and learn to stand up for yourself when others try to take advantage of you. This is one important way of being kind to yourself.