grief
Keeping My Promise To A Departed Loved One
Sometimes we become so busy and preoccupied in our daily lives that we forget the commitments we made to loved ones, relatives and friends. But this does not only apply to the living. Some of us also forget the promises we make to those that are no longer with us.
Too often we hold the hand of a loved one on their deathbed and promise to look after those they will be leaving behind. They wish for us to look after those they will no longer be able to care for and love in this life. And we promise wholeheartedly to do whatever it is they ask of us in their final moments.
But once they have departed and life returns to normal, we soon forget these promises and serious conversations. Our memories become conveniently selective. We usually don’t mean for this to happen, but life does have a way getting in the way.
I had a shocking reminder recently of my own selective memory in this regard. Several years ago, I got into the habit of journaling about issues in my life that deeply matter to me. Recently, I was not able to sleep and was encouraged by spirit to go through my journal.
So, I sat up at about four o’clock in the morning and randomly opened my journal on the very page where I had written about a promise that I had made to a loved about another person, whom I had a strong dispute with in the past. Being only human, I had some seriously negative feelings towards that individual.
However, I had promised to check in and be supportive to this person, whom I did not like very much at all, on behalf of the person who was in their final hours. At the time, I remember saying that I would “do my best” and that “if I could, I would.”
The promise was much more than just checking in on the relative. It went as far as the very items I was meant to get at the grocery store, as well as things to say to this person when I delivered it. I had however conveniently forgotten about it since, until I discovered the entry in my journal.
Losing Touch With Our Departed Loved Ones
Some people have at least one long-standing friendship from their early childhood years. During your elementary years, the friendship grew to a soft and accepting duality that you easily embraced.
As the time progressed, the ‘best buddies’ syndrome only became stronger, as you melded into the somewhat trying years of early adolescence and puberty. It created an easy belief that this camaraderie would last for the entire duration of your earthly existence. You believed that you would be in each other’s lives forever!
These friendships lend itself to a sense of comfort that helps us deal with the trials and tribulations that young lives normally must endure.
The next thing you know, as you both matured and progressed further in life, your best friend found herself a wonderful life partner, they moved away from your area. But you both vowed to stay in touch and keep the friendship intact, just as it was when you were in your formative years.
At first all was well. You wrote, emailed, texted, phoned, sent the birthday and holiday gifts. You did whatever had to be done to keep those lines of communication open. If all went well, you both did your fair share.
In time, the calls became less frequent, the disconnect between you began to widen, as life took on a unique format for each of you. It is not that you feel less love and affection for each other, it is only that life has a way of moving forward into new and challenging directions. You will always be dear and cherished friends to each other, you will always care about the needs and concerns in each other’s lives, but life moves on.
This narrative is no different if your adored friend and confidant has since left this earthy existence and moved on the other side. We can have clear and constant communication from a loved one that has passed on. Their spirit still has great attachment to those they left behind.
Walk In Faith As You Move Forward
“For we live by faith, not by sight.” I have relied on the words of this verse from 2 Corinthians for most of my life with much success, no matter how tough times have been.
What does it mean to walk in faith, and not by sight? Well, it means to keep going and to keep your faith in God, Spirit, a Higher Power, even when you are not sure of where exactly you are headed.
This past year these words could not have been more relevant. It has been very difficult for all of us, especially for those who have lost loved ones. Sadly, in our day and age, when a loved one passes, we don’t always get the support we need in order to get through the loss and get the help we need to move forward.
Processing grief on your own is no easy task. First we have to accept that our loved one is not with us in the physical sense anymore, but their soul is always with us. They will tell us that they are still here, but they do not want us to have an unhappy life, they don’t want us to be alone.
In our soul contract one of us agrees to leave before the other, whether it is a parent, husband, wife, child, sibling, whomever it may be, and that the one left behind would be experiencing what it means to endure such a loss.
As we struggle to move forward, people might say, why aren’t you feeling better yet? Time to get over it. Life goes on. Why are you still so sad? Well, it just doesn’t work that way, and anyone who has experienced such a loss understands that it takes a lot of time for the heart to truly heal.
I lost my husband of 31 years a long time ago. You don’t ever get over it completely, but it does get easier with time. It’s a step-by-step process, and having people that support you means so much to help you get through.
Embracing The Mirages Of Life
Imagine yourself walking through a hot desert, whipped by the relentless winds, and scorched by what feels like an unforgiving sun. Suddenly, a crystal-clear spring emerges in the distance. But the closer you come to this beautiful fountain, the more you realize that its calm waters are evaporating into thin air.
Taken aback, you face the reality that what you envisioned was never real or true. It was nothing more than a mere mirage. This optical illusion created by warm air near the ground refracting the light from the sky has deceived weary travelers for thousands of years. Ancient poets even wrote verses that spoke of the delights and dangers of the mirage. Sacred texts reveal the mirage that gave hungry and thirsty pilgrims hope during long migrations or exodus.
As a spiritualist, I often receive calls from clients who have also been misled by mirages, only these mirages are not of the biblical deserts that prophets of old journeyed across. These are instead the ‘mirages of life.’ I often hear clients lament how everything appeared to line up so perfectly, but the outcome was an unexpected disappointment. My answer is always the same. There are times in life when on the surface everything seems to be falling into place, yet the desired outcome does not complete the story we had hoped to write.
I some cases, the seemingly ‘perfect partner’ stuck around for years without any proposal for marriage. In other instances, there was an awesome interview for the dream job that ultimately was offered to someone else. I could share countless examples of how expected outcomes are sometimes derailed in our world.
We have all encountered mirages in our life, as well as the disappointment and heartbreak that follow. But if you really take a step back and reflect on your past disappointments, you will soon note that Spirit always had a much better plan with your name on it. The love you thought you lost is often replaced with a better love you never imagined possible. The position you wanted more than anything was more appropriately aligned with someone else, and instead of misplacing your gifts and talents, the new job you ultimately found was much more fulfilling than you ever thought possible.
Time To Cleanse The ‘Energy Clutter’ Of 2020
The year 2020 is coming to an end. It has been a challenging year for most of us, to say the least. Some have lost everything that they thought was important in their lives, while others discovered what truly is important in their lives.
In many cases, the material and superficial things that we used to cherish so much have now been replaced by the simple longing to just hug a loved one, touch a friend’s hand, or just be part of a crowd of like-minded people at a music festival or sports event.
It has indeed been an exceedingly difficult year for our relationships, social life, careers, businesses, finances, and especially our mental health and well-being. The lockdowns, social distancing and mask wearing (or lack thereof) has been taking its toll.
Mental illness is said to at an all-time high, and suicides rates have increased significantly. Families will be celebrating the holidays this year without one or more of their family members, and many are having to grieve the tragic passing of a loved one.
You may look at all this stress, chaos and suffering, and ask yourself if any possible good can come from the events and circumstances of the past year?
Well, I do believe 2020 to be the best opportunity we will ever have in our lifetime to truly find the deeper meaning and purpose of life. This is the ideal time to identify everything that is not important in our lives and release what no longer serves us.
This is a time to cleanse your aura, clear your vibration, and discard the ‘energy clutter’ in your life. Loving and caring for yourself is fundamental at the moment. Be kind to yourself and do not judge yourself harshly for things you have no control over. Just do the best you can with what you have and take it one day at a time. We are simply being sidelined for a period of time. This to shall pass.
White sage is my go-to for clearing my living space and my personal energies. When bad vibes and negative energy clutter start to pile up, I take a few moments to simply breathe and relax, cleanse my aura with white sage, then breathe again. It lifts my inner being.
We Will Become Whole And New Again
Cleaning out the home of a loved one who has passed is certainly not a task anyone looks forward to. In truth, it is the last thing one would ever want to do. About a year ago, I found myself doing just that for a departed family member.
I oversaw the kitchen and was told that if there was anything that I could use in my own home, to go ahead and put it in a box and take it with me. I did happen to come across a couple of items, including a set of two large, oval-shaped dishes.
Recently, I’m in the kitchen one evening, taking out food from the microwave oven and placing it on this dish. I have done it many times before without any problem, but on this occasion the dish decided to crack. Not only did it crack significantly, but it also made a loud, sharp cracking noise!
Later, as we sat down for dinner, I gave a family member the other matching plate as a base for some food from the microwave, and the same thing happened. It was the same crack, and the same noise, and it seemed rather odd.
I was fairly upset and even made mention that it was a shame, as I always thought fondly of the departed loved one whenever I used these plates in the kitchen.
That night I had a strange, lucid dream about what happened. In my dream we were still eating from the cracked plates, when suddenly, right before our eyes, we witnessed the crack in both plates sealing up in a miraculous way. We could not believe it. The plates looked like the crack had never happened and I remember feeling very relieved, happy and at peace.
Paranormal Activity, Or Energy Residue?
Clients sometimes ask me to do an energy clearing in their homes or businesses. In have even been asked to do a cleansing in stables, where the horses had been inexplicably out of sorts and acting out of character. The energy clearing methods I use vary from the more typical Western techniques to traditional African methods that I learned while living there.
One of the most memorable clearings I ever did was for a long-standing client who struggled with a deep sense of guilt over the suicide of her late husband. She had asked me to do an energy clearing ritual in her home, to see what I could pick up.
Her husband had ended his life sitting in a large, plush wingback chair in their home, where they were bringing up their two young children. Apparently, they had argued a lot in the weeks leading up to his death, particularly after he’d discovered her affair with another man.
Guilt overwhelmed her, and her late husband’s family made their judgment of her very clear. They felt his passing was her fault.
In a mediumship reading I did for her, her late husband had come through with messages that proved he had crossed over to the Other Side, that he was at peace, and that she was never to blame for him choosing to depart from this life. Instead, he spoke of his own life-long battle with depression, and his personal failures in their broken marriage.
The mediumship validations were however not enough to ease my client’s haunting feelings of guilt. She was convinced that her husband’s troubled spirit was haunting their home, and she insisted on me doing an energy cleansing. She was, however, not keen on some of the more typical Western clearing methods, nor the shamanic African approaches I offered, so I suggested we simply use some sage incense and prayer, and she was satisfied for me to do so.
She also consented to me having free access to every nook and cranny of the house, because it is often surprising where energy disturbances can reside. She believed there was a heavy, dark cloud of negative energy around that wingback chair, but to my surprise, there was nothing! In fact, the whole room was clear of any negative vibrations. Continue reading