healing
Healing A Broken Heart
One of the hardest things that we will ever have to do is recover from a broken heart after a relationship break-up. We don’t want to be without the person we love; it hurts to say their name, or to think about them. And sometimes it is hard to even breathe.
When a relationship fails we need to grieve and heal. This is a time to be around people who care about us. The worst thing that we can do is to harden our hearts and build a wall that no one can touch. All that this will do is stop us from growing and learning more about ourselves – to know who we are and learning how to love ourselves again.
We are not to give up on future relationships, because that will not serve us in the long run. We need to be able to feel again, but it takes time. Everyone has to go through their own grieving process because no one really knows just how much you are really hurting. With time you will get there.
So many times we think that the love that we have found is real and everlasting, but true love does not lie, or cheat, or make you feel unwanted. True love makes us feel secure, not insecure.
Sure, we have to work at a good relationship, but when it becomes too much of a tug-and-pull, we have to listen to our gut feelings. Trust your inner guidance and hear what spirit is trying to tell you.
I do not think anything hurts more than being disappointed by the person that you thought would never hurt you. When you are ready to start again, make the decision that you are going to move on, that its time.
Protect Yourself From Negative Energy Attachments
A neighbor once asked me to smudge her home and bless it, because she felt there was a lot of negative energy there. She could just ‘feel it.’ People lived below her that she could hear arguing until late hours in the night, using foul language. They would chain smoke too, to the extent that it would rise up through the floorboards. It made her feel sick and caused her to have migraine headaches. Apart from that there were also some old ‘cobwebs’ of trapped negative energy that she wanted me to some and clean out.
She had been dealing with the ups and downs of depression for as long I’ve known her. She is one of the sweetest people you could ever hope to meet, let alone have as a neighbor. She is very kind and always there if you need her. She would be very social at times, inviting friends from church over and entertaining friends regularly, for several weeks, and then she would suddenly feel overwhelmed by the chaos and drama of the people around her, feel drained and depressed, and withdraw from everyone. Then you would not see her for weeks, sometimes months.
I told her I felt that she needed to protect herself energetically and shared with her ways that she can do this. I explained to her that sometimes, when we engage with people, we can pick up some of their negative energies. Even if they are seemingly good people, who go to church and so on, it doesn’t necessarily mean that these people are free from negative energies, or worse, unwanted spirit attachments.
How To Ground Your Energy
‘Grounding’ is a common term you are likely to encounter early in your spiritual awakening journey. If you are interested in energy work of any kind, grounding is a key technique to help you stay energetically balanced and enhance your metaphysical practice.
Essentially grounding is a type of meditation that is quick and very intentional. Through grounding we connect our own energy field or light body with the energy of the Earth. This balances our chakras by clearing out those energies that are no longer serve us. Connecting to the Earth’s energy in this way releases negative patterns, thoughts, emotions, and habits, to achieve a clearer, elevated state of consciousness.
To become more grounded, try this visualization exercise. Start by closing your eyes and focusing on your breathing. If you are used to meditation this will be very familiar, if not that is okay! Just be present with your breath and pay attention to your breathing as you inhale and exhale.
Count to three as you draw in your breath, and again as you exhale. Gradually slow the rhythm of your breathing down and just be present with the experience of the air moving in through your nose and into your chest. Feel your physical body around you as you breathe.
I like to focus on my heart chakra while I do this, but it is not necessary. I just find that as I breathe in and out, I like to feel the swell of air in my chest, as if is ‘hugging my heart.’
How To Truly Honor Our Departed Loved Ones
I attended a service recently at the local spiritualist centre that I found particularly meaningful. One of the spirit messages channeled by a visiting medium was for a recently bereaved man in the congregation. The grieving gentleman had been dealing with many mixed emotions since the passing of his spouse.
At first the medium provided the man with undeniable evidence that it was indeed his late wife who was making contact. She relayed several factual details and personal memories that only the man and his wife could possibly know of. This was especially evident from the amazed expression on his face in reaction to everything the medium was saying.
The deceased wife then admitted to being somewhat of a ‘firecracker’ during their 50-year marriage. She further confessed that towards the end of her life she had become especially difficult to deal with and said many hurtful things to him. She acknowledged that despite her unkind behavior he consistently remained patient with her and thanked him for his kindness and forbearance.
The man then confirmed that his late wife had suffered a series of mini-strokes that altered her mental state. She had also been prescribed medication that further affected her mood and behavior in a negative way. The wife then asked for his forgiveness and encouraged him to stop focusing so much on the negative memories of their final months together.
“She is asking you to please think more often of your special moments together,” said the medium.
Reflections
Sitting on the porch. Rocking. Yes, rocking in my willow rocking chair, surrounded by the smell of petrichor – that delightful odor the earth gifts us with when fresh rain is coming down after a long, dry spell. The aroma of the freshly hung chile ristras greets me in the Santa Fe, New Mexico tradition at this time of year, when the growing season is done and the picking of the season’s ripe offerings has begun. Richness abounds with the aromas of the petrichor and the strung pods of red chile blending in the softness of the evening breeze.
The automatic flood light and the blue laser lights have come on, as they do every day at dusk, to illuminate the waterfall in the garden, although it’s still a bit early for them to shine their brightest. Not quite dark enough yet, but soon it will be. I just fed my precious four-legged fur daughter her dinner. Now that my day is done and another week has gone by, I am contemplating whether or not I have done well this week.
Yes, I believe so! I have learned so much and have grasped many new concepts. I also renewed my awareness of some familiar concepts that were in need of repetition, so I could complete some hard earned lessons. And I found resolution to some newer viewpoints on old issues. Whew! I feel I’ve been turned wrong side out in just one week, only to realize it is the other way around. I was wrong-side-out before. Now I’m right-side-in, or more so at least.
I look up from my musings to see the lights. It is dark now and they’re shining brightly against the dark night sky. The lasers look like blue fireflies as they pinpoint their magical presence. The synchronicity feels deeply significant. At the end of another week, after much breaking down of old thought patterns, I see the flood light and laser lights reflecting the realization that I am different now than last week, or at any time before.
Empaths And Endings
Anger is one of the most difficult emotions for the empath to navigate, and the ending of a relationship is definitely one of the most challenging of all.
Any relationship that falls apart is tough, but if you are an empath you may well find yourself trying to navigate some very overwhelming waters. Not only will you be feeling your own pain, anger and confusion, but you will also sense your partner’s feelings, and possibly even that of your families and mutual friends.
Trying to make sense of all these emotional energies, staying centered and sorting out your own feelings separate from your partner’s is a very tall order.
Chances are you have also been sensing that something had been radically amiss for some time, before your love finally went on the rocks. It is important to take time to look back and remember when you first sensed something was off. Empaths are often aware of their partner’s moods and feelings, and may act on it too prematurely. Pushing too soon can result in the partner shutting down, or insisting that nothing is wrong. The problem is, however, that an empath will feel that something is wrong and will not be able to shake that feeling. You knew something was wrong… and you were right!
It is critical that you shift your focus away from your partner and towards taking care of yourself. Allow your emotions to flow. An empath is always going to be more focused on the other party’s actions, reactions and feelings. You automatically link in to them instead of you. To move through this painful experience you must shift your focus and concentrate on you.
Dealing With Ancestral Karmic Debt
When a loved one crosses over, they transcend this dimension to enter the next. In the spirit dimension we revert from human ego consciousness back to universal consciousness, and our awareness is no longer limited by time and space.
I like to think of our constantly evolving soul or spirit as ‘cookie dough.’ When we cross over and revert to the broader perspective of universal consciousness, our soul energy is like a ball of dough that has been proofing for a lifetime.
As the Universe, or the Divine Cookie-Maker, rolls out the dough of our returning soul, there will be some karmic ‘lumps.’ These lumps are the unwise choices, mistakes, transgressions, missed opportunities, failures, crimes, and sins for which we didn’t make amends during this lifetime. It then becomes our karmic debt.
Some of these karmic debts go back many generations and have become part of the ancestral legacy of our soul family. It has sometimes dire consequences for everyone we are spiritually connected to in this life and the next. It becomes a shared responsibility for the entire soul family, for which someone needs to step up at some point to break the cycle.
Making amends and striving towards karmic healing is therefore not just something we do for our own sake, but also for those that came before us, and especially for those who will come after us.
Our ancestors on the Other Side are also continually striving to resolve their karmic debts, and for this they may need our help and support. If we hold them, or ourselves, in a state of unforgiveness, they cannot move forward with their karmic healing, or the next stages of their soul journey.