Grieving The Loss Of Loved Ones With Grace

Few of us have not experienced the loss of a loved one, a parent, a partner or even a child. Most of us have also witnessed or experienced the many ways in which people try to cope with such an insurmountable loss.

Coping with the huge gaping hole that such a loss leaves in our lives can have a negative impact on people’s behaviour. Some turn to extremes: alcohol, drug abuse, overeating, prescription drugs, or any of the other things people use to numb their pain and deflect the overwhelming feelings associated with loss and grief.

What we ultimately learn is that there is no set time frame in which such profound pain can be dealt with. It can take weeks, months, years or even decades for some. But even when the worst is over, we never really get over the sense of loss. We simply learn to cope and get on with our lives, forever changed, as best we can.

However, the greatest tribute we can pay the loved ones we have lost is to grieve with grace and dignity. Abusing substances or indulging in other distractions may temporarily numb our pain, but how does that honour the memory of the one we professed to care so much about? It also does not allow us to confront and process our emotions in a healthy and constructive manner. Grieving is natural and necessary. When we try to avoid our grief, we miss out on opportunities for personal growth, self-reflection, and ultimately finding peace with the loss.

As long as I can I will look at this world for both of us. As long as I can I will laugh with the birds, I will sing with the flowers, I will pray to the stars, for both of us ~ Sascha Raeburn

Furthermore, when we choose to grieve with grace and dignity, we are actively acknowledging the significance of the relationship we had with our loved one. Instead of escaping from our pain, we embrace it as a testament to the depth of our connection and the impact they had on our lives. By choosing to honor the memory of our loved ones with grace and dignity, we not only honor their legacy but also honor ourselves and the profound bond we shared.

A decade ago I lost my beloved daughter. At first I had no idea how I could ever process this devasting loss and how the void left by her passing could ever again be filled. But in time I decided to honor her memory by fully and honestly expressing my grief.

I also considered her legacy: she had a passion for improving the lives of the oppressed and downtrodden; she was extremely connected to animals and had such a deep respect for Mother Nature; and she was highly creative and took such joy in her involvement with the things she loved. It became my mission to honor her accordingly.

My affinity has always been with children. Their lives are uncomplicated because they come so easily from a place of honesty and innocence. They are not caught up in the everyday social and material trappings that us adults have convinced ourselves we cannot live without.

Now, I am not much of an artist compared to my daughter, but I can knit and sew! So, I started making simple things like gloves, slippers, baby bibs and so on to send to an orphanage in South America. Did my humble efforts dramatically change the lives of those children? Probably not, but perhaps the very message that someone in a far away country loves and cares so much was enough to instil a sense of confidence in the hearts of of some of those sensitive little beings.

Through acts of charity, kindness and compassion, by channeling our grief into meaningful actions that honor the memory of our loved one, we not only pay tribute to their life but also find solace and purpose in our own journey of healing. Whoever that special person was in your life, the one you cared about so much, by all means express your grief. Do it loudly or quietly – there is no magic way. But whatever you do, please do it with honor, grace and dignity.

Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give but cannot. All of that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest ~ Jamie Anderson

Choose the highest methods possible and aim to serve the greater good, so that when your loved ones look down on you working through your grief and despair, they will be proud of the honorable tribute you are sending their way. Here are some ways to do so:

Donate or volunteer: Make a charitable donation or volunteer your time to causes that were important to your loved one. This could involve supporting organizations they were passionate about or participating in community service projects in their honor.

Create a legacy project: Start a project or initiative that honors your loved one’s memory and makes a positive impact in their honor. This could involve starting a scholarship fund, organizing a fundraiser, or launching a community outreach program in their name.

Perform acts of kindness: Pay tribute to your loved one’s legacy by performing acts of kindness and compassion in their honor. This could involve helping others in need, volunteering in your community, or simply being there for someone who is going through a difficult time.

Celebrate their passions: Honor your loved one’s interests and passions by engaging in activities they enjoyed or supporting causes they were passionate about. This could involve participating in hobbies they loved, attending events related to their interests, or advocating for issues they cared about.

Share their story: Share memories, stories, and anecdotes about your loved one with others. Write about their life in a journal, create a scrapbook or photo album, or participate in storytelling events that allow you to share their legacy with the world.

Create a memorial: Establish a physical or digital memorial that pays tribute to your loved one’s life. This could include a memorial website, a dedicated space in your home with photos and mementos, or planting a tree or garden in their memory.

Keep their traditions alive: Continue to celebrate holidays, birthdays, and other significant milestones in ways that honor your loved one’s traditions and values. Incorporate their favorite foods, activities, or rituals into these occasions to keep their memory alive.

Seek healing and support: Take care of yourself and seek support from friends, family, or a support group as you navigate the grieving process. Honor your loved one’s memory by finding healing and solace in your own journey of grief and healing.

Honoring the memory of deceased loved ones with grace and dignity is a meaningful way to keep their legacy alive and find comfort and healing in the midst of grief. Each person’s journey of remembrance is unique, so choose the ways that resonate most deeply with you and your loved one’s memory.