happiness
How To Practice The Art Of Gratitude
My life has not been without its challenges. Nevertheless, I love my job, have a beautiful son, an adorable husband and supportive friends and family. Therefore, irrespective of current world events, I genuinely have a lot to be grateful for!
Gratitude is beneficial for all of us, including physically, emotionally and spiritually. For one, appreciating the good things in our lives helps us to be more tolerant and forgiving, with a higher sense of life satisfaction. Grateful people also tend to have more hope and inner peace and feel less anxious and alone.
God, Spirit, the Universe loves gratitude! Those who are sincerely grateful are blessed with even more to be grateful for. Like attracts like.
How does one ensure that you practice the art of gratitude ever day? The following guidelines should help:
Seek Out The Positive
In my own personal research into positive psychology, I became aware of something referred to as negativity bias. In case you have not heard of this, it means that our negative thoughts tend to be more dominant than the positive ones.
An excellent way of counteracting this negative way of thinking is to seek out at least three things in your life every day that you are well and truly grateful for. Try to make this a daily habit. By doing so, it should have you smiling in next to no time!
I remember when I was about 26 years old and in a particularly challenging place in my life. I was advised by a psychic, whom I reached out to with my troubles, to watch the film or read the book, The Color Purple by Alice Walker. It is some of the best advice I have every received. Once I had read the last chapter, I felt so grateful for whatever I had in my life.
Put Down The Phone And Start Living
I used to walk around the lake in the small town where I used to live. It was a picturesque hike that took you all the way around a large body of water that fed into the lake.
It was also a popular camping ground. Many city folks came to our little rural town to camp. Day after day, I saw them walking their dogs around the campsite, or relaxing on the park benches overlooking the water.
But nobody seemed to be appreciating much of the beauty of the natural surroundings. No, they were all too busy looking down at their phones!
In the good old days, people used to love breathing the fresh air, watching the children playing, looking for baby lizards on the sunbaked rocks, admiring a newlywed bride dancing on the beach, or marveling at the curious formations of the clouds above. These many beautiful nuances and subtleties in the world around us, are what make life joyful and precious.
Sadly, even seeing people walk their dogs saddens me these days. Everyone appears to be obsessed with their phones only. The dog owners hardly notice their own dogs, never mind anything else around them. They miss out on their dogs’ cute moments of joy and excitement.
Someday, when their dog is no longer around, they might regret missing these precious moments. So many lost opportunities and forfeited memories. Or maybe they will still just be staring at their phone.
Once, I saw a couple at the lake. They were also campers. They were lounging by the water, with their chairs far apart. Of course, this was of no concern to them, because they were both far too busy on their phones to even notice.
I’m sure they were posting pictures they took in front of the lake on social media. By the time they leave, they would have only those photos, but no real experiences or memories of ever being there. They were not at the lake, they were in cyberspace – the cell phone rabbit hole.
True Love Has No Time Limit Or Deadline
We live in a busy world where most of us have gotten used to a very hurried life. Everything is on a strict schedule and time limit, because we now judge everything this way. We have become a restless society demanding instant solutions and immediate gratification in all things.
If the line is too long at the supermarket or fast food restaurant, some of us get upset. If we have to wait for our doctor when we have an appointment, we become annoyed. Some cut in front of others, or even cross streets while the light is still red, because they hate to wait.
Similarly, if we do not get an immediate reaction from our latest love interest, some of us do not become just a little restless or anxious. No, they get really upset!
If this kind of hurried, rushed way of life plagues you, then you may definitely need an major attitude adjustment. Because your naturally loving heart and your capacity for love and romance may be in serious trouble.
Maybe your heart never got the memo that there was no need to constantly hurry up and adhere to time limits and deadlines. What happened to dating? Romantic chats? Patiently anticipated expressions of affection? Dozens of love letters, and more recently emails and test messages? The joint holidays and weekends away? The looking forward to new adventures together?
What happened? What happened to living wholeheartedly in the moment? What happened to just enjoying the ride without constantly watching the calendar or the clock?
The one joy that we all desire and cherish is being loved and feeling special in someone’s eyes. To be affirmed, to be accepted and appreciated, to belong. It gives us an inner peace and happiness that cannot be found in any other way. Love and belonging is a fundamental necessity in everyone’s life. No matter how busy you are. Continue reading
The Law Of Sacrifice
Are you in a rut? Not getting what you want out of life? Pandemic fatigue getting you down? Whether you are hoping to achieve something on a psychical or emotional, or even spiritual level, it is my believe that we must always give up something in order to achieve that which you desire.
There is always going to be some form of sacrifice necessary for what you want in life. The most typical sacrifice often required is that of time – time that you must sacrifice to get that career or relationship or whatever it may be.
If you have a goal in mind for travel plans or a vacation, for example, you may need to put aside time to plan accordingly, or put more time in at your job to generate the money necessary to fund your trip.
If you are married or in a committed relationship you will know that most days you must sacrifice something. You may be required to be quiet when you wish to speak or you may need to meet your partner halfway, when you would rather not. In order to make it work, to make anything work, you must always sacrifice something.
If you value something enough, then it’s worth the wait or the effort. The sacrifice that you are willing to make in order to have something, whatever it is, shows the value of what it is you want to attain.
Know that to work hard for what you want is not always easy. It shows your desire, your drive and your determination. When you get what it is you set out to attain, it makes you want to keep working for it, for example a relationship.
The Three Laws of Grace
There are three primary Laws of Grace that function under the overarching Law of Attraction. Grace is generally associated with divine support or spiritual help, but in this context it simply means that we are always free to choose again.
The Law of Love
The first Law of Grace is the Law of Love. The Law of Love does not refer to feelings, sentiments or emotions. Too often it is assumed that love is a feeling we get when we are with someone, but in metaphysics and spirituality love is not a feeling.
Instead, spiritual love is choosing to accept others as they are and to want what is best for them. What most of us know as ‘love’ today is actually ‘like,’ because to like someone or something is conditional. Real love, on the other hand, has no conditions. It is unconditional.
There is also a common belief about ‘love’ that can be very damaging to relationships. Sometimes we create emotional attachments to future events and declare that “this is love.” Yet, it is impossible to love a future other – either you love a person, or you do not.
When people conjure up extensive images and stories about a future version of another person and attach their mental and emotional attention to these things, they often create a strong sense of painful longing, which creates within them the desire to change the other person.
It is this painful yearning that is the key to understanding, because with the Law of Attraction like always attracts like. Painful longing can only ever attract more pain. It does not even matter how compatible two souls are in this life, if one of them is participating in such a painful longing, then pain will inevitably become the result of the relationship.
Love is unconditional acceptance and there is only one love. Therefore, Buddhists believe one cannot have friends and enemies. If you have enemies then eventually all of your friends will become enemies, and vice versa.
Take A Moment To Breathe!
In today’s harried, hurried world we all too often go through life just going through the motions. In our actions and in our words, day in and day out, we rarely take the time to stop and smell the roses. We get up, we go to work, we take care of what we think needs our attention the most, often neglecting ourselves in the process.
Then one day you become burned out. You have no energy to do what you used to be able to do. Your energy seems ‘all clogged up’, rather like a blocked drain, and you can’t breathe. You may feel suffocated. The answer lies in all the excess and adverse energy that you have taken into your body over the years, or over a certain period of time.
Our muscles have what is known as ‘muscle memory’ and we inadvertently have become used to doing what we do, day in and day out. And our bodies remember the feelings. It happens with amputees a lot where they often complain about pain or itching where the missing limb used to be.
It can be triggered by stressful situations, things that bring fear or some sense of trepidation into our lives. Our necks begin to tighten; perhaps your jaw starts to lock up from the stress of not saying what you really want to say. The blocked, burned-out feeling comes from this place of tension and remembered circumstances, and it can be cleared by the power of your breath. We hold so much in psychically that taking some deep cleansing breaths to help us expunge the energy taken on during our daily life.
Do some simple breathing exercises for five minutes when you awake in the morning, to prepare the mind for the day ahead. You will be pleasantly surprised at the results. If you are able to take a break during the middle of your day to practice some additional cognizant breathing, that would be great!
Thriving In The Winter Of Our Discontent
Enduring a harsh winter with extreme weather, in the midst of an ongoing pandemic, is not an easy feat. It reminds me of the ‘winter of our discontent’ that Shakespeare refers to in the first line of his play Richard III. This winter-pandemic combo is certainly a ‘double whammy’ that could potentially break any camel’s back! But how we choose to deal with these times will determine how it will serve to improve our lives in the long run.
Winter is actually a great time to think about spiritual and personal self-care, especially in places where there are extreme weather conditions. Where I live, in the state of Maine, the winters weather conditions can be severe, making it a time to just surrender, to give myself permission to rest my body, mind and spirit.
It is a time to go within, to meditate, to read, write, paint, to do things that feed the soul. It is good time to connect deeply with our inner being, the subconscious mind, the higher self. It is a time to retreat, allowing the mind to regroup, and to replenish your body, mind, and spirit. When we take the time to get acquainted with ourselves again, we find truth, wisdom, mental and even physical healing.
If you are going through a snowed-up winter right now where you live, use this time to review your bucket list. Reflect on all that is good about your life. Think about things that are not working for you anymore and the best course of action to move forward. Give yourself time to process it all.
The past year has also been a time of getting to know who we really are and what matters to us most. The global pandemic had some major shocks and surprises in store for those of us who had lost touch with ourselves and the people around us. I have been helping many clients working through these challenges.
For many the pandemic has notably been a time of intense solitude. A time of learning to be comfortable in your own company. In the beginning, the hope was that life would go back to normal in just a few months. But as time has gone on, we have had adjust to the so-called ‘new normal.’