self-love
Now Is The Time For Love
There is a lot of anxiety in our world at the moment, due to the ongoing pandemic of the coronavirus, or Covid-19. When this kind of crisis arises, it affects us in the deepest and most primal parts of our inner being. And who we choose to be in such a moment truly matters.
I believe that now is a time for healing. Not only from physical disease, but also from a state of unconsciousness and disconnection that many of us have been fostering, long before we even knew terms like ‘social distancing’ and ‘self-isolation.’ It seems to me as though these terms are just the articulation of an already existing condition that has been in existence long before Covid-19 arrived.
If you are currently fearful and anxious, it is understandable. Be patient and gentle with yourself. If you are struggling to cope, do not hesitate to pick up the phone and reach out to someone that you trust. If you feel isolated, now is the time to freely speak the words, “I love you.” If you have something of value to share, now is the time to give. If you can assist, now is the time to help. Now is the time for love.
There are those that would perpetuate fear at this time. I recommend not listening to such negative voices. Abstain from indulging in conspiracy theories, and trust that, as it is written in Luke 8:17, “There is nothing hidden that will not be revealed, and nothing concealed that will not be known.”
Instead, turn your ear to voices of unconditional love, kindness and compassion. If you have enough ‘soul force,’ become that voice for others. As it is written in 1 John 4:18, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear.”
Is Your ‘Soulmate’ A Narcissistic Predator?
He must be your soulmate, or twin flame, because he knows you so well. He has taught you so many things about yourself. Surely, this means he is ‘the one.’ I don’t think so. You might want to say something like this regarding your therapist, teacher or healer, but even then I would still be careful.
If you are constantly looking for someone to ‘get’ you, or yearning to be understood on a ‘deeper level,’ you might as well have a target on your back that says: prey. If you are so wounded and empty that you need to be constantly affirmed by another, then you need some serious healing, prolonged growth work on your Self, your inner child and your relationship with your Higher Self and Source.
Even when working with a spiritual teacher or healer, if they are doing most of the work for you, telling you all about your Self, then they are merely telling you a narrative, a story. Stories don’t solve problems, or heal. Information or data does not heal. It can point you in the right direction, but ultimately information does not heal, action does.
So if your healer, teacher, therapist or counselor is telling you all about your Self and that is all they are doing, you might want to reconsider. Reevaluate how much help you are actually getting. It is only a mental boost to receive this kind of information. In other words, your brain feels temporarily happy with the excitement of words. But it is ‘drug’ that will wear off quickly. Soon, you will then trotting off in search of another high.
Who Are You Really?
At some point today you probably looked in the mirror. Maybe you liked who you saw there, and maybe you did not. But, did it dawn on you that the person who stared back at you from that reflection, is not the same person as the one who looked back at you yesterday? Yes, things changed while you were sleeping, and you were not aware of it.
Do we really know who or what we are looking at in that mirror every day? Do we even care? Does it matter to us that we will spend every waking and sleeping hour with that person we see in our reflection? Do we realize that whoever that person is, we will be sharing our deepest most profound thoughts, ideas and convictions with them for the rest of our life?
Instead of merely glancing at that reflection we have grown so accustomed to, why not take the time to truly observe the facial expressions and body language, revealing our inner motivations and latent content.
More importantly, maybe it is time to really get to know that individual we observe in the mirror. That mysterious, fathomless person most likely demonstrates enormous fortitude, determination, strength of will and irresolute character. There may also be an infectious humor buried just below the surface, waiting to be examined for discernment in the reality of our most passionate dreams and mocking glares.
What is important to us today will be important to us always. The problem is we don’t always know what is really important to us. Why? Because, we won’t stay still long enough to study the most important subject in the world: the self. We may claim that we are too busy to care, but nothing is more important than getting to know the real you.
Shadow Work
Shadow work is the process of learning to speak your fears, anxieties, shame, grief, and rage before Spirit, and having it witnessed by humans. The latter is needed to heal toxic shame and to get you comfortable with being your authentic self in front of other human beings. Shadow work is speaking out whatever is currently uncomfortable for you to say in front of others. For some people shadow work is speaking out about one’s successes, happiness, gains and accomplishments.
Sharing works best when you are specific and refer to date, time, place, and people involved in actual events, as well as describing the specific emotions experienced at the time and describing actual behaviors and actions that occurred.
A shadow work group, like 12-Step programs, provides a safe sacred space and a confidential environment, where others are there to listen and witness your journey of healing, without interfering. Shadow work groups understand that they are just there to witness, and know that the real work is between you and your Higher Power.
Shadow work groups give you a safe place to practice saying things that normally are not spoken, or must be said with careful attention and energy. When you share precarious, painful, fearful or shameful information with such a safe group, you will slowly, with the help of your Higher Power, be able to heal the emotions and energy connected to those issues and events.
In time, instead of those issues and events ruling you, you will have the space to make choices – choices on who to talk to in your life circle about delicate personal matters, as well as when to do it, how to do it, or if it is even safe to share with certain people, or not.
Aligning Yourself To Attract Lasting Love
When I do readings, many people usually want to talk about their love life. This is a valid and meaningful subject for all of us. Having a meaningful, harmonious and loving relationship is a wonderful part of the human experience. However, it is also true that a relationship often does not solve many of the problems and issues we have as a single person.
It is important to understand that we carry our consciousness with us everywhere we go. If you assume that you will find a relationship that will ‘make you happy,’ then you are deeply mistaken.
Yes, we may draw temporary relational circumstances that allow us to feel a little better about ourselves, but without a firm structure of personal happiness, we will eventually engage in self-sabotaging behaviors that cause the relationship to become unsustainable.
Again, we will carry our consciousness with us everywhere that we go. If we are discontent being single, we will find a way to be discontent in the relationship also.
Every relationship is the product of co-creation. Too often when a relationship does not work out, it is easy to point to the other person and say, “You did this to me.” And it makes sense, because if the original assumption is that the other person will ‘make us happy,’ then we will also make the automatic assumption that the other person can ‘make us miserable.’
Feeling Like You’re Not Good Enough
Sometimes we put our heart and soul into a relationship, only to get cheated on, or dumped for no reason. The main question that usually comes to mind in this type of situation is, “Why am I not good enough?”
Take a moment and consider the relationships of relatives and friends, who have gone through similar a experience. Some people are able to jump right up and move forward, while others sit and wallow in self-doubt and self-loathing – sometimes for years.
Working with many people over the years, one of the biggest eye openers for me has been that it is typically the partner who is left behind, and then struggles to move forward, who compromised the most in the relationship. They usually gave, and gave, and gave, and didn’t receive much in return. Their needs always took a backseat in the relationship. They would sacrifice more and more, until there was nothing left for them to give, while their partner did not change and simply kept using and abusing them.
If you constantly compromise on what you really want from a relationship, the union will at some point simply disintegrate. The other person is never going to magically become someone different. That person you hoped they would become, after you moved in, or after you gave a little more, or after you married them, or after you had a child with them…never shows up. What you see in someone from the start, is simply who they are.
The Pursuit Of Spiritual Healing
Energy healing can takes many forms: physical healing of the body; emotional healing of the heart, mental healing, and soul healing. But ultimately the best form of spiritual healing is holistic healing of the body, heart, mind, and soul.
The nature of a healing session will usually be determined by the healer. The individual may suggest the type of healing they wish to receive, but reputable healers will typically suggest or recommend the best strategy, depending on what they see is most needed. A good healer will assess the situation and determine the best way to proceed with the healing, and which methods to use.
There are basically three categories of energy or spiritual healing: hands-on, hands-free and distance healing. The methods may include chakra alignment, Reiki, meditation, prayer, visualization, acupuncture, psychic reading and intuitive guidance, bodywork, touch therapies, breathwork, pranic healing, shamanic rituals, soul retrieval and soul rescue, shadow work, inner child healing, and past life regression, to name but a few.
Whatever method or technique we choose, one needs to be certain it is suitable for the individual. No single path leads everyone through the process of healing. We need to be sure that we start them on a path along which we they will be able to continue and complete. It does help if the individual that we are working on is open to the process. As healers we must ensure that our clients are in the right head space, and openness is key to having the best from the healing process.