self-love
When True Beauty Shines Through
I was speaking recently with a friend who prefers to hide from the world. In his words, “I want people to remember me the way I used to look, instead of how I look now.” I couldn’t help but lower my head in that moment. I adore this man in every way. His looks mean nothing to me, for I have seen his heart. To me he is extremely handsome. I wish he felt the same way about himself.
I have thought the same about myself, many times over the years, but not so much anymore. I take pride in my appearance, but I have also come to understand that my looks are not the ‘sum of my parts.’
We live in a very superficial world, where we are made to believe by almost every media and marketing message out there, that as long as you are beautiful or handsome, the world is your oyster. There also doesn’t seem to be any getting away from it. I recall in my own youth flipping through magazines to look at the ‘beautiful people,’ and thinking to myself, their lives must be perfect. Of course, today I know that nothing could be further from the truth.
Be Gentle With Yourself This January
January can be a challenging month for some people. As the new year rolls in, many people are focused on their ‘New Year’s resolutions’ and on how they want to change their lives for the better in the coming year. As we all know, in a few weeks time most of these resolutions will be forgotten, and all that will remain is subtle feeling of disappointment.
Add to this our reflections on the past year, our hopes and expectations for the coming year, and a lingering malaise from the energetic overload of the previous month of holidays… and all of this can add up to a sense of heaviness about our life.
While recognizing that there is room for improvement, and taking action where we can make those improvements, is always a good thing, it’s important to also remember to do this with love and compassion for ourselves. Change can be challenging, even when we are at our best!
So, with all this in mind, how can we move into this new year with both self-love and self-awareness?
A Few Minutes Of Daily Self-Care
I often tell my students to take some ‘me time’ each day, even if it’s only five minutes for self-care. And I have heard 101 excuses as to why someone cannot do this, ranging from parenting responsibilities and career, to house cleaning and maintenance. These excuses typically start with the words, “I have to…”
At one workshop, I had several people offer their excuses for not having even a few minutes for themselves on a daily basis. Then I narrowed it down to a simple question. When you have to go to the washroom, do you hold it in all day long, and all night, because you ‘have to’ do something else? After the laughter stopped, because I did do an exaggerated imitation of someone ‘holding it’ by rolling on the floor in agony!
And then I asked the next question. By holding it all day and night, and writhing in pain and agony, what did I accomplish? How much time did I waste focusing on this issue of ‘I have to go,’ but ‘I don’t have time.’
This is the simplest way to explain time management versus wasted energy and time. I take a bath or shower each day, as do most people. I am usually at least a few minutes under the water in some way. Water is my peacemaker and my calming force. It energizes me and charges me for the day.
The Divine Light Within You
Namaste. This is a term that is often used in Yoga practices and certain spiritual services. The word itself is a salutation which means, “The divine light in me honors the divine light in you.” Often people will say this unconsciously. However, it is a spiritual truth that should remind us of the value of our own light and the light of others.
The truth is that you are the light of the world and you always have a choice to honor that light, or hide that light. Spiritual teacher, activist and author, Marianne Williamson, writes, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.”
The main block to experiencing your own light is fear and the main freedom from fear is love. You are here to be a service to the world. You incarnated for this reason. In fact, we are all here serving each other. Even when something terrible has happened, it gives us an opportunity to see what happens when love is not present within an action.
Healthy Boundaries – The Best New Year’s Resolution!
The best New Year’s resolution many of us can work on in 2019 is to create healthy boundaries with the people in our lives. These boundaries don’t have to be all about just creating space or distance between you and a few toxic people and things in your life. It can also include keeping yourself from being exposed to negativity on social media, or avoiding those foods you are intolerant to. In 2019 I recommend we all take a moment to think about the things we do, say, consume, and the people we spend our time with. Whatever it may be that brings us down, or steals our energy, needs to go. And no more people-pleasing.
Dr Seuss says, “Those who matter don’t mind, and, those who mind, don’t matter.” Well, it’s true. Those people who have a problem with you, because your belief system is different from theirs, for example, are absolutely out of line! I have said it once and I will say it again: the world will be a very boring place if we all had the same ideas and way of thinking. Diversity is what keeps our world going. So it’s okay to be different. I am big on keeping it real and being authentic. I refuse to be a conformist.
Maintaining Your Vibe In Crappy Situations
So many people (I used to be one of those people) ask me how they can make a crappy situation in their life better. They say to me, “If I can’t control other people, how can I make the situation better?” Or, “I get that it’s them, but I still don’t feel good about it and I have to be there! So what can I do?”
It’s simple really. But you have to shift your perspective on things, before you can be aware of the solution. When you are viewing anything from your human experience, it can seem impossible to have a good outcome. So, here are a few things you can do.
Firstly, take a deep breath and remember, this moment is only temporary and you are abundant Source energy. You are the creator of your reality.
Secondly, shift your perspective from physical consciousness to universal consciousness. This opens you up to have this experience from a detached state of awareness. Detach from the negative, and attach to the positive.
Your Sacred Center Of Self-Love
We all thrive on being loved. This is natural, of course, if you look back at humanity in history on an evolutionary level. Ancient people came together in tribes, families, and groups, to cultivate a place of safety, security, nurturance, and love. If you were different or stood out in any way, or even left the tribe, you were literally putting your own life at risk. This topic can be viewed from so many arenas, including psychological, spiritual, scientific, and psychic.
I often wonder how and when did we start defining ourselves by how others felt about us, and why did we believe that other’s thoughts about us were true? At what point in time did we allow others to define us? It’s as though we as humanity went into a deep trance.
We all know the phrase, “Love thyself first”. When did we forget this vital piece of information? There are many ways we can come back in touch with this essential truth, but for the most part, our society does not support a lifestyle that would naturally lead us back to our sacred center of self-love. How often do you take a moment to look in the mirror, or tell yourself, “I love you?” Most of us feel silly doing this, but it is very healing.