happiness
Technology Does Not Make Love Any Easier
I have personally found over many years of falling in love myself and having been in both good and bad relationships, as well as doing love and relationship readings for thousands of clients all over the world, that romantic love is more about personal soul growth, spiritual evolution and enlightenment than anything else. I find that only once we have learned certain life lessons and spiritual insights, especially with regards self-love, are we truly ready and able to love others unconditionally. Only then you can truly love someone one else, and have them love you equally in return. When this finally happens it is a lovely thing indeed, but in today’s world it is becoming be a rare thing.
Having a tight-knit, loving family or a lasting romantic relationship has become almost ‘abnormal’ in our modern world. In my view technology has been hindering us more than it is helping. The many social media platforms and dating apps we use these days has made love and romance even more complicated. These social networking sites have also created many new problems in long-term relationships and marriages, and I have witnessed it destroying many good relationships.
For example, too many of folks are curious about their ex-partners, because they now have more access to ‘stalking’ others. Some even want to reunite with their ex, who has married someone else in the meantime. Social media offers them an easy way to renew contact and often leads to trouble. Don’t get me wrong, technology is a great thing if used properly, but sometimes it can be also be too convenient and intrusive in other people’s lives.
To Hate Is A Self-Destructive Choice
When I was in middle school, around the age of 13 or so, I remember an older, more popular girl used to constantly bully me. I also remember coming home from school and telling my mother about it. I told my mother that I hated that girl, but she very sternly said, “Oh no, you don’t hate anyone!”
I defiantly replied, “Oh yes, I do!”
My mother then patiently replied, “Okay, well if you are going to insist on hating her, please go and do it somewhere else, young lady. I do not want to hear about it anymore!”
She never explained to me why she felt it was inappropriate for me to hate anyone. I didn’t figure this out until much later in my life.
My own daughter is now also a teenager and she sometimes comes home from school with similar complaints. A girl at school has been spreading false rumors about her. Just like I did all those years ago, my daughter also told me how she hated this girl. And I replied the same way my mother did, except I also explained that hate only breeds more hate.
To hate someone or something only hurts you, no one else. My daughter hating this person she feels has wronged her, will only cause her to hurt herself more with negative emotion, every time she thinks about this person. Every time she tells a friend or family member about this girl, she will be refueling her own negative fire. Thus, she will only end up hurting herself more.
The other girl does not feel every occasion my daughter is upset, or reliving the hurtful situation that occurred. In reality, my daughter is punishing herself every time she thinks about how this person wronged her. This is what we all tend to do, when we find ourselves in similar or hurtful situations.
Love, Joy And The Pursuit Of Happiness
According to the United States Declaration of Independence “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness” are the inalienable birthrights of every human being given to us by our Creator, God, Source, the Divine.
Sadly, I find very few people to be successful in their pursuit of happiness. The same is true for finding love and joy. It seems many are merely stumbling through life trying to find it.
A teacher once told me life is like school. For some of us it’s like kindergarten – easy, uncomplicated, and lots of fun. For others it’s like graduate school with lots of difficulties and challenges to overcome.
Searching for joy, love and happiness does seem to be a ‘wild goose chase’ for many people. It truly is like chasing wild animals. The faster we run after it, the more it seems to flee. I don’t believe joy, love and happiness can be found. Well, at least not in the ways that many of us are hoping to find it.
Like happiness, the right to love is also the natural inheritance of every person. The well-known channeled text, A Course in Miracles, delves into the idea of love from a spiritual perspective. It states that it is impossible to teach love. Instead, the goal should be to remove the blockages or obstacles we have to allowing love’s presence in our lives.
I have seen repeated evidence of this in doing readings for many years now. Certain reading themes are repetitive and common themes are ‘finding love,’ or the ‘lack of love,’ or ‘loss of love.’ In all these readings one thing always becomes very clear: love itself is not an ‘out there’ thing. It is also not something that can be received from another person or thing.
In readings, Spirit will often say, “Love is not a feeling.” This one initially took me a while to understand myself, until I realized that love is in fact an intrinsic quality of being. It is already within each of us. We refer to it as the Higher Self, the Soul, or the Spirit. No one is ever separated from this innate love because it is an intrinsic aspect of our very being.
Grandma’s Love Was The Best
I remember what Grandma was wearing when she passed away. I also recall exactly what she said and everything else that happened that day, right down to the violets I picked in the backyard to place in her hand. She was wearing an oversized Winnie the Pooh T-shirt that could have been a night dress, I’m not sure. She had her red robe on and black slippers lined with greyish fluff.
She was told she was being taken to the nursing home, but it was actually hospice she would be going to. She could no longer walk and had fallen, and no one was able to pick her up. Not even myself. I wish I could, but I just was not able to.
I sensed she wasn’t to going be with us very much, and I was very upset about it. But constantly having to give her blood transfusions and her being in so much pain, it was the right decision at the time. I have made peace with that now.
Settling her into the hospice, Grandma was adamant the bed be taken out, as it was unbearably uncomfortable. She kept saying, “I just want to go home and die. This is no way to live. I’m ready to go.” She also told me, if I ever needed her after she had gone, all I would have to do is call her name, and she would be there for me. Grandma kept her promise to me. To this day I still feel her around me all the time, especially when I think of her and call her name.
I think the worst thing I ever experienced in my entire life was walking into that hospice room after she had passed and seeing her shell of a body. She was no longer there, obviously, but she was still around. I felt she was somewhere in the room looking at us and saying her goodbyes.
Pain had made her very bitter towards the end of her life. She wasn’t herself anymore because she was on so many different strong medications and invasive treatments. I sensed that she longed to be with her departed husband and her dear mother who passed when she was just a young girl. Her mom was also a psychic and apparently really good with things like Numerology and dreaming lucky numbers. I loved hearing all those stories.
Love Is Everything
Hello friends of my mommy, Mountain Sage. My name is Babe. I’m her one and only favorite pup and she thinks I am a ‘cutie-patootie.’ Well, I don’t know about that, but I’m sure glad she thinks so. I try to be. I really do. But there are so many instructions: “sit, down, stay, no-jump, hold hands, leave it.” Phew! What’s a cute four-legged fur baby like me to do?
Well, there are treats sometimes, and that helps, but The Sage is not always so generous. Sometimes, she seems to think I should do all those silly things for free. It’s okay, I guess. Anyway, if I want to get those cuddles and kisses, as well as go to Bow-Wow Camp (which are two of my very favorite things), then I simply have to do it all her way.
But, when I’m outside hunting, then I do it my way. The Sage is most definitely not a hunter, I can assure you! Nope, not even one little bit. So, I have to bring home the bacon, right? A nice little mouse, for example. I brought it in the doggie door, as a gift, while she was on a phone call with a client.
I assume it was a client because that’s when I have to be ‘all quiet.’ Anyway, she made all these mad gestures. She clearly could not contain her excitement about the juicy mouse. Strange, I tell ya! Making all those weird motions. I mean, really, it was just a plain ole’ mouse. Nothing special in my world, but she acted like I’ve brought a month’s supply of meat into the living room?
Then, there was the frog. It showed up on the porch after a heavy rainstorm. I had never seen anything hop quite like it did. It was intriguing – all shiny, plump and green. I decided to lick it on the back. I was just curious. No need for The Sage to become all hysterical, right?
But I have to be honest: that frog was the most vile and disgusting taste I’ve ever experienced. I had to spit, and spit, and spit to try and get that yucky goo out of my mouth. “It’s poison,” The Sage was complaining, as she picked it up and put it outside the fenced garden. Well, I guess she might have been right. Anyway, I was a satisfied dog and more than glad to see it go.
There Is Only One Path To True Love
There is only one way to experience love, joy, and peace and that is in the now. Too often we have most of our mental energy focused on our future happiness. These thoughts conjure up ideas and imaginings about some future reality we are yet to experience, believing that a certain future event, experience or outcome will finally ‘make us happy.’
There is a real problem with this line of thinking, because there is actually no way to ‘arrive’ at a future happiness. Even if specific ‘happy events’ do occur someday in our future, the happiness derived from these events will always be short lived. It will be a temporary excitement or euphoria, not lasting happiness.
The truth is we always carry our consciousness with us everywhere we go in life and the state of our everyday consciousness is our only sustained experience than will be able to count on in a future reality.
Many spiritual wisdom traditions talk about the past and the future as being an illusion, because the only moment that is real is the present moment. All the love, joy, and peace that anyone can possibly experience in their lifetime all happens in the current moment.
The never-ending search for ‘somewhere out there’ happiness is also fruitless because the experience of happiness can only happen within and in the here and now, and not somewhere out there. Love, joy and happiness are internal experiences.
There is no external place out there in the Universe where you can find a secret fountain of love, joy or happiness. You will not be able to seek it out and fill up a bucket with these feelings, because the actual fountain is within. Continue reading
A Smile Is Contagious Too!
As we continue to find our way through the seemingly never-ending twists and turns of the COVID-19 pandemic, it is understandable that many of us are anxious, frustrated, and worried. Our lives and health are still at risk, our jobs and businesses remain in jeopardy, and parents are unsure about sending their children back to school.
Even so, there is a light at the end of the tunnel as many inroads have been made. There seems to be a feeling of increasing lightness and hope as the restrictions are gradually being lifted. In some places, people are nearly back to pre-pandemic norms, but for many of us many challenges and restrictions remain for the time being.
If you are feeling stifled and frustrated by the circumstances, remind yourself that it is the little things that we will come to appreciate after having gone without them for so long.
For example, with masks no longer required in some outdoor settings, we can now see each other’s faces again! And is it not wonderful to be able to make even the tiniest connection again with a smile?
Whether it is a neighbor you have known for years, or a stranger on the street, why not take the opportunity to smile at them as you pass by? Grin at the cute kids playing outside, or the adorable dogs owners are walking. Appreciate the little things. Gratitude and appreciation is empowering. Kindness and compassion is healing. And a smile is powerful. It can transform someone’s day in an instant.
Smiling is universal. In every country and culture, people smile. A smile represents kindness, joy and happiness. A smile can break through worries for a brief moment and make someone’s day. A smile can be reassuring or comforting when support is needed most.