Are You Married To A Cheater?

Are you married to a man who you think might be a cheater? It is more common than one might think. The bulk of my calls are about just this question: is he cheating?

Usually, if a client is asking this question, they already know the answer. They simply need either confirmation, or clarification.  Their intuition is telling them something is going on. Often there are also many clues.

However, many callers still do not want to believe it is true, when I see that their partner is indeed being unfaithful to them. Some continue to ignore the signs and live in denial it until everything eventually comes to a head and they finally have to face it.

What to do if you think your husband is cheating? Question him by being open, direct and honest. Get the answers you need.tru

If he is not forthcoming, find other ways to uncover the truth and piece things together. Get a psychic reading. Hire a private detective. Check his credit card statements and chat messages. You have a right to know the truth

If you find out that he has been cheating, then seek counselling first, before making any major decisions or drastic changes. First find out exactly what kind of situation you are in and if and how it can be fixed, or not.

Getting to the core and extent of the problem in a sensible, calm manner is usually the best first step. Don’t allow his bad choices to turn your entire life upside down.

I remember a client who gave everything to her marriage, while her husband was cheating.  She was suspicious, but never followed her gut.  It all came crashing down when he arrived home one day and dropped the bomb that the other woman he was having an affair with was now pregnant with his child. This was an unbearable shock, as my client was unable to have children.

I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

Initially, he was intending to leave her for the other woman. But, after some counselling, soul-searching and many discussions the couple finally decided to stay together and make it work. But the girlfriend was still pregnant.

Well, fortunately I was able to advise my client that she should not accept the woman’s word for it. I had a clear sense she was deceiving them and not telling the truth about her supposed pregnancy.

Once this other woman heard that the husband was not leaving his wife, she all of a sudden suffered a ‘miscarriage.’ Upon further investigation it was found she never was pregnant. She had lied about the whole thing. She was trying to trap the foolish husband into marrying her.

You didn’t just cheat on me; you cheated on us. You didn’t just break my heart; you broke our future ~ Steve Maraboli

Sadly, time did not heal all wounds in this case. Although my client stayed married for another three years, it was never again the same between them. She could not forgive him, while he refused to take ownership of his part in the affair. He simply said: “Well, I did nothing wrong; these are your issues.”

She eventually left him, never to look back. She ultimately married a wonderful new man and now lives a charmed life, because she finally decided she deserves to be happy.

Moral of the story? Always trust your gut. Love yourself first. And know your worth.