decisions
The Simple Secret To True Happiness
It is easy to become too focused on the pursuit of happiness, to the detriment of true happiness. For many years, I was constantly setting goals for my ‘future happiness,’ only to eventually realize that I had been missing out on the joy available in the present moment.
I am certainly not alone in this, as I find many of my friends and clients tend to postpone joy and contentment, believing that they will finally be happy once they have achieved milestones, or acquired certain possessions.
Meanwhile, the key to living one’s best life is to fully embrace the present moment. This does not mean that we should stop dreaming of a better future or no longer pursue important personal goals. However, our future hopes and ambitions should not cause us to put our life on hold, nor prevent us from being fully immersed in the now.
If you are also someone with such an intense future-focus, I encourage you to begin living more in the present. You will soon discover a more fulfilling and joyful way of life.
Future-Focused Thinking
The first step is to let go of future-focused thinking. Many of us tend to constantly think about the future, worrying about what lies ahead or longing for future achievements. This mindset deprives us of the beauty and opportunities that exist in the present.
Struggling to Make A Decision?
One of the most common themes in psychic readings is the struggle to make a choice or decision. People often come to me for a reading because they are seeking a broader perspective or an assessment of their situation.
Whether their struggle is about love, health, finances, career, business or relocation, I have found the answers from spirit and their guides usually fall into three categories. So, here are my top three spirit-guided recommendations for making difficult life decisions:
Take Some Time Out
Most important decisions do not require an immediate response, even of it may appear to. Take some time to clear your head and think things through. Take a walk, focus on something else, sleep on it, or even just taking a deep breath.
Studies have shown that when we are in the stress response mode we are unable to access parts of our brain that think creatively and logically. Moreover, relaxing your body and mind, and stepping away from the sense of urgency and stress response, will allow you to create space for your intuition to speak up.
Do what you can to relax so you can access those two important aspects of decision making: the problem-solving mind, and your inner guidance.
Tune Into Your Inner Wisdom
Once you have calmed down the physiological stress response you are ready to ‘tune in.’ A great way to do this is to take a deep breath and call upon the wise part of you that already knows the answer to every challenging situation.
Go within and ask that you be shown the path that is the highest and best for all involved and be open to the answers you receive. These can come immediately, or over the next few days. Pay attention and see what signs you see in the form of overheard conversations, billboards, songs on the radio, angel numbers, dreams, gut feelings, and so forth. These are many ways spirit communicates messages to us, so keep an open mind and be aware.
The Path Of Personal Development
Personal development is an essential part of our spiritual mission and soul purpose in this lifetime. It is a lifelong process of self-improvement that involves setting goals, taking steps towards realizing those goals, and learning from our experiences along the way. It is an ongoing journey to becoming the best version of ourselves.
To fulfill this mission, we must develop various life skills, knowledge, insight and wisdom by growing socially, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually. Personal development is thus a commitment to reach our highest potential in our current incarnation by striving to live a life of fulfillment and purpose.
The path of personal development is not the same for everyone. We all have unique personalities, traits, talents, interests, wishes and dreams. Our path is further determined by our values, beliefs, and life experiences, as well as our soul contract and calling in this lifetime.
It is a journey of physical, mental, and metaphysical self-discovery, in which we explore, uncover and evolve our true potential. It is a process of constantly learning and growing, which can take many forms.
To venture down our path of personal development we must take action and progress towards achieving your goals. It involves setting goals, creating plans, and taking practical steps to reach those goals. On a practical level this might include activities and pursuits like learning a new language, getting a degree, starting a business, achieving physical fitness, participating in a sport, volunteering, taking an art class, travelling abroad, pursuing a spiritual practice like meditation, divination, journaling, or dreamwork, and so on.
The Life-Long Journey Of Self-Love
Self-love is essential for mental, physical, and emotional well-being. It is vital to have a positive, loving attitude towards yourself and take care of your own needs. Not only is this essential for living a happy and healthy life, but it also empowers you to be more loving and caring towards others.
Self-love is often misunderstood. Many people think that self-love is only about pampering oneself, indulging in extravagance, or buying yourself expensive things. It is much more than that. It is not about being selfish, self-indulgent, or narcissistic. Instead, it is about accepting yourself, taking care of yourself and understanding your true worth.
Truly loving yourself is therefore about knowing your worth, appreciating your unique strengths and abilities, and treating yourself with compassion and kindness. It is also about taking personal responsibility for your life, making choices and decisions that serve your highest good, and letting go of negative thoughts and self-destructive behaviors.
It is also important to realize that self-love is a journey, not a destination. It is a life-long process that is part of our soul purpose in this lifetime. It is a state of being that requires patience, dedication, commitment and effort.
Cultivating self-love begins with understanding yourself, accepting your flaws, and learning to forgive yourself. It involves setting boundaries and taking responsibility for your own needs and happiness. It is also about cultivating positive relationships and learning to trust yourself.
Should You Get Back With Your Ex?
Getting back with an ex can be challenging, especially if it ended badly the first time around. On one hand, it can be an opportunity to repair the damage and make things work, while on the other it can be a difficult decision with a variety of potential pitfalls.
Should you get back with your ex? It depends on you, your ex, and your unique situation. The pros and cons of getting back together varies depending on the people involved, the nature of the relationship, and the current circumstances. The advantages, opportunities and challenges of getting back with an ex may include the following:
Familiarity
One of the main advantages of reconnecting with your ex is the familiarity. You already know each other, so you don not have to start from scratch. This can be a great advantage, as it allows you to jump deeper into the ‘new’ relationship without having to first discover each other’s likes, dislikes, habits, quirks, expectations, hopes and dreams.
Getting back with an ex can be a great way to re-establish a comfortable relationship. You already know how to communicate with each other, you know what the other person needs and wants, and you know how to make each other happy. This familiarity can be very comforting, especially if it’s been a while since you last saw each other.
Healing From A Relationship Break-Up
Breaking up with someone can be one of the most difficult experiences in life, especially when it is a long and deeply meaningful relationship. It can feel impossible to see any future without that person and very difficult to move on and find joy in life again.
I find many of my clients do not realize that dealing with a break-up or divorce is very similar to processing the bereavement and grief associated with the passing of a loved one. It is often accompanied by agonizing sorrow, intense feelings of despair, and an all-encompassing sense of loss and confusion.
According to clinical psychologist Dr. Tricia Wolanin it is actually “the death of a relationship, hopes and dreams for the future. The person we are losing was a big part of our world and therefore has taken up so much of our mental and heart space.”
It is however possible to recover, heal and move on after any breakup or divorce. In my work I have found the following strategies to be helpful for clients who go through this kind of life challenge.
Avoid Major Life Decisions
It is usually not a good idea to make any important life decisions if you are working through the aftermath of a breakup. This includes changing your job or career, relocating, or making other drastic changes to your life. It is vital to take some time to heal and reflect on the situation before making hasty life-changing decisions that you may later live to regret.
Waiting On The World To Change
Waiting On The World To Change is not just a great John Mayer song, it is also a devastating pattern in many people’s lives. Too often people are waiting for some outside force to come along and bring them the happiness and fulfillment they want. Living one’s life ‘on hold’ in this way can become a incapacitating habit that will only serve to make us eternally stuck and unhappy.
When we are waiting for a change from someone or something other than ourselves, we are not taking control of our own power. More importantly, we are also not taking personal responsibility for our God-given free will choices, nor are we holding ourselves accountable for our own actions (or inaction).
We all have that friend who is always saying how great her relationship would be ‘if only’ her partner would change a certain habit, or do something differently. Or that colleague who never gets the promotion, while she keeps blaming others as to why she is constantly overlooked. Or the diseased relative who ‘cannot’ improve her health and wellness, because making better lifestyle choices just doesn’t fit into her busy work schedule and social life.
The worst one for me is people waiting for that amazing soulmate relationship to finally materialize, when they are not making even the least bit of effort to put themselves out there and meet new people.
Some people spend a lot of time constantly setting new goals or intentions, making wish lists, creating vision boards, or doing visualizations or rituals, to manifest the changes they want to see in their lives. But what if the thing they need to change is actually themselves?