victim mentality
Keep Seeking The Light Beyond The Darkness
I do a trivia quiz almost every day to keep my mind stimulated and strong. This morning the question was: What is achluophobia? Well, it is the fear of the dark, which is a somewhat reasonable phobia since we instinctively want to be able to see what is going on around us in order to survive. However, as I thought about it more, I realized that we also have the same need to ‘see the light’ on a spiritual level.
The darkness of evil, hatred and despair is always out there, lurking in the background, trying to sneak into our hearts and minds and take over. There is a spiritual war going on in our hearts and minds every day.
As we are increasingly drawn into the darkness, we are also increasingly hit with setbacks, hurdles, heartaches, and hardships. Then, in our entitlement and arrogance, we wonder why God, Source, Spirit, the Divine, is not doing anything to help us? Why have we been abandoned? Is there even a higher, divine power that can come to our aid?
It is amazing how many people at one time or another indulge in the thought, the notion that the very God, Source, Spirit, Divine, Universe that guides, protects and provides for us, actually takes the time to also hate, punish or destroy us.
All we have to do is observe the miracle of nature to know that this is not true. Every little miracle of nature, every tree and plant, every stone, every living being has a reason and a purpose to exist in the wonderful mechanics of our planet.
Life Lesson From A Resilient Robin
A few days after I saw a robin attempting to build a nest on a neighbor’s balcony in my apartment building, I spotted another robin with a chest covered in mud. I was thrilled, as I knew this meant a little miracle of life was going to happen. And, it did. Three days later, she laid her clutch of tiny blue eggs in a nest built in a perennial shrub, next to the complex entry way where residents come and go all day.
Her strategy for building the nest in such a busy location became apparent two days after she had laid her eggs. A pack of savage crows descended on the nest, tragically cutting her clutch in half. Unlike the other robins, she had built her nest here so that she could potentially depend on human activity for added protection. Sadly, her plan failed.
Crows are one of the most intelligent bird species on the planet. They know and remember their potential enemies and prey. She may have cleverly built her nest here, hoping to avoid them because there are constantly humans around, but keeping crows away can be a real challenge, because of their intelligence and their adaptability. Things that scare them off at first, soon does not bother them anymore.
The crows were however the least of the strategic robin’s problems. After the crow rampage, the landscaping crew came through the property, using a weed whacker on the shrub where her nest was located. I later found her outside. Assuming she was traumatized and stress-foraging, I felt really sad for her. But she stared at me questioningly, then flew into a tree, while I feebly tried to console her. “All your efforts have been in vain,” I sadly thought while looking at her.
Make Today Your New Miracle
No matter how hard we try, it often feels that nothing in life ever changes. The truth is, something always changes. We change.
We have all said the wrong thing, at the wrong time and to the wrong person. We have all yelled at the gods in some way, or blamed the wrong people for choices we made ourselves. We have all felt badly about ourselves. We are not always happy at the end of a day. But somehow we always make it through.
We sometimes wonder why we spend so much time alone, yet we fail to realize that our very aura puts out an energy that builds a wall around us, so no one wants to come in. We don’t realize that no matter how we pretend to ourselves that we are trying to be positive, no matter how much we want to make it about “no one loves me, I’m going to go eat some worms,” our pity for ourselves creates an aura, an energy, that tells others that we don’t like ourselves.
The truth is, the very people we think are avoiding us, are in their own private minds also not wanting to share the hurt, the disappointment, the loneliness they are feeling.
Spirit most often feels sad, very sad, when someone says “I’m always alone.” Because in truth, we are never alone. We each have spirit guardians, guides, protectors, instructors around us.
Today is a new day. We can change our day, by not repeating yesterday. We can begin to change our life by just doing one thing different today.
The Fire Season Of Love And Joy
In Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), there are Five Elements, namely Wood, Fire, Earth, Metal, and Water. These elements are each associated with the seasons, certain emotional states, and specific organs in the physical body. I am personally fascinated with how accurate these correlations can be.
In the summer season, for example, the element of fire rules. The four organs associated with the fire element is the heart, small intestines, pericardium (or heart protector) and San Jiao, or the ‘triple energizer,’ which is the hollow space inside the trunk of the body.
In TCM, the solid organs each has its counterpart in a ‘hollow organ (Fu).’ The heart, for example, is a solid organ, and the small intestine its hollow counterpart. San Jiao is a body cavity that is able to influence the functioning of other organs and our overall health through the free movement of Qi, the fundamental life force energy.
The fire element represents expansion of energy expanding with heightened activity and excitement. It is further associated with love, joy, harmony, but also disharmony. In extreme cases, too much fiery excitement can cause insomnia, restlessness, and even manic behavior.
A good example of how the joy of the fire season manifests in our everyday life is the fact that summer is the peaktime of the year for weddings. This time of the year our hearts are most open, seeking to be filled with joy. We seem to radiate more light and love in the summer, just like the warm sunshine.
Learning To Forgive
Accepting, letting go and forgiving is difficult, but necessary to thrive and live our best life. When we do not forgive, we carry toxic energy within that poisons us mind, body and soul.
Energetically non-forgiveness wreaks havoc in our chakras that can cause physical disease and mental illness. Our chakras store the energies of negative life events and experiences, if we do not release it, and heal those imbalances and blockages.
Forgiving does not mean we condone or exonerate the evil deeds of others, nor do we have to allow the people who have wronged us back into our life. This is seldom wise.
However, it is also not karmically smart to harbor resentment, seek vengeance, or wish others harm…for it will come back to us. Forgiveness is to surrender control and allowing karma to deal with those who wronged us.
When we forgive and release the trauma others have caused us, their choices and actions can no longer control us, nor steal our happiness, joy, and well-being. This is why forgiveness is the best gift we can give to ourselves.
Forgiveness does not set the wrongdoer free or exempt them from their karmic debt. Instead, we set ourselves free, so that their karmic choices no longer interfere with our energetic well-being and our divine right to manifest our best life. When we do not forgive and move on, it will continue to haunt us. It gradually infiltrates and contaminates every aspect of our life, and even causes us to attract more of the same unwanted experiences.
Old Baggage Is Not A Badge of Honor
I have successfully worked with many clients over the years who finally found me after they chose to hang onto anger, resentment, bitterness, or self-pity for many years, even decades, to their own detriment. Withe guidance of spirit, I have also helped many people find peace and healing, after they had pushed away everyone in their life away by continuously abusing the patience, compassion and generous support of their friends and family, by burdening them with same, sad story or repetitive dysfunctional behaviors, over and over again.
I have also witnessed the amazing personal growth and miraculous healing of those who were able to let go of the anger and hurts. And I have watched many thrive once they realize that their self-worth and personal power begin outside the comfort zone of their long-standing victim mentality.
I asked spirit for a message today to share with those that are stuck in this way and not moving forward in life. This is what I was given.
Do not dwell upon your pain, do not try to make yourself a martyr in suffering. Stop allowing the things that have hurt you to control where you are in the here and now.
It is time to boldly step up, stand your ground, and say, “I love myself and I am not going to let the past control my life any longer. I am stronger than all that has happened to me. And yes, it hurt me in the moment, but I refuse to drag it with me any longer further, because it prevents me from moving in the direction of my highest good. It poisons my well-being and steals my happiness, and I refuse to allow it any longer.”
Time To Start Living Your Best Life!
This past three years have been difficult on many levels for all of us, whether it be financially, emotionally, physically, or mentally. It has been a difficult time for even the most happy-go-lucky people among us.
Most of my clients have lost someone or something of significance in their lives, whether it be their personal freedom, their peace of mind, their health, their job or business, or a loved one. Some have tragically even lost everything, or in some cases everyone.
Thankfully, many of these people have been picking up the pieces and moving forward with their lives. Some are however still struggling. The one thing I have noticed with those who continue to suffer is that they seem to have given up on life. They appear to have lost their desire to live, or simply to get out of bed each day. But no matter what our circumstances may be, this is the one thing we must never allow ourselves to do as spiritual beings in human form.
If you find yourself still struggling, understand that you have a great strength inside of you that will always carry you to new heights if you just allow it. Understand that this challenging period in our history was meant to teach us what truly matters and what is most important in life. It was also meant to help us release the things that no longer serve us.
It is time to shift your energy. Time to take a good hard look at where you are at, where you have been, and where you ultimately want to be. Each day, declare, “Today is the first day of the rest of my amazing life. I am powerful, smart, and strong. I can do, be or have whatever I set my mind to.”