self-mastery
Embrace Your Personal Power In Relationships
Our relationships have great power and influence in our lives. In particular, many of us spend countless hours pursuing love and romance. Then, once we are in a relationship, we spend even more time and energy thinking about it, confiding in friends about it…often trying to make the relationship different or better.
I deal with this almost daily as I have counseled hundreds of lovesick, frustrated, and heartbroken clients over the years.
“If only he would do what I want, things would be different,” some of my clients might say. “If only he would be more open and honest, maybe I could trust him more.” Truth be told, I have heard similar words come out of my own mouth about my own relationships more times than I care to admit!
Unfortunately, instead of successfully influencing our partner’s words or behavior, we are often left feeling disappointed, betrayed, frustrated, powerless, or out of control. It is draining, pointless, and definitely not the best use of one’s time and energy.
So how do we change it? How do we take emotional control of our life and our relationships? The answer is shockingly simple.
It is all about taking a different, broader perspective on relationships and what they are here to teach us. A quote from Unity Church’s Daily Word magazine perfectly captures this shift in perspective: “Through our relationships with one another, we express the power, presence and love of God.”
The Constant Battle Of Head Versus Heart
Have you ever second-guessed yourself, done or said something that went against your gut, only to realize in retrospect that your initial feeling or hunch was right? Had you acted differently, it could have saved you a lot of heartache and loss, emotionally, physically or financially?
If you have ever been in this position, know that you are not alone. The “head versus heart” dilemma can be very confusing and frustrating. Many of my clients struggle with it and some experience a great deal of confusion, stress and emotional discomfort as a result.
When faced with difficult decisions or challenging situations, we usually have a good sense of what the best course of action might be. But then we tend to look for concrete evidence to support our feelings and intuitive hunches, and when we cannot find any, which is often the case, our heads take precedence over our hearts. So we end up discounting our feelings and intuitions, usually to our own detriment.
The struggle between head and heart is a common theme in philosophy, literature, art, and popular culture, as we all regularly experience inner conflicts between reason and emotion, logic and intuition, responsibility and passion.
Being Patient With The Man You Love
When we meet someone we’re attracted to, we don’t always listen to our inner voice and tend to go with our heart instead of our head. And when we don’t listen to our inner guidance and get ahead of ourselves, we tend to get hurt.
I think it is fair to say that modern women prefer men who say what they mean and mean what they say. Women today are independent and we want someone who can stand his ground and bring out the best in us.
Today’s empowered woman wants a gentleman, a best friend, a soulmate and a superhero all in one. We want romance and respect, adventure and security, strength and tenderness.
But most of all, we want loyalty, honesty and trust. Because without that, we have nothing. Unfortunately, some men never speak their minds, and some never tell the truth.
There are also men who come on too strong, always calling, always texting, making you feel like he can’t live without you and everything seems almost too good to be true. Then suddenly one day he is gone, missing in action, retreated to his cave.
Finding Silver Linings On The Dark Days
The sky was dark this morning. Overcast, miserable, wet and windy. Not the best way to start any day.
To make matters worse, after several very busy days with readings, I had one of those rare “goose egg” days. Not a single client called me all day!
Halfway through my shift, I realized that my mind was starting to brew up all kinds of negative thoughts. Idle hands are indeed the devil’s workshop. Fortunately, I was able to nip it in the bud by the end of my shift. The last thing I needed in this miserable weather was to plunge myself into a pity party.
Instead, I gently coaxed myself back into a state of calm, centered inner peace and gratitude. After all, I have a lot to be thankful for in my life!
I also had to remind myself that I no longer have all my eggs in one basket. I have learned the hard way over the past few years to diversify my income, and I also have a nest egg in the bank for a rainy day.
Those of us who have been on a long and challenging journey to a better life realize that having a totally negative day is sometimes a necessary part of the process of self-improvement and greater fulfillment. If things were always easy and perfect, we would have no motivation to strive for anything better.
Learning To Honor My Higher Self
Have you ever had a conversation with someone that made you feel very uncomfortable, upset, even angry, to the point where you could feel their negative, toxic energy attaching to you? I certainly have, more times than I care to remember.
This feeling of extreme discomfort is usually a clear sign that the interaction you are having with this person is going against your higher self. Yet, even though we are aware of this on some level, we often fail to do what is right for our highest good and instead continue to interact with the energy thief in question to our own detriment.
Truth be told, I have been guilty of this myself many times. Only to face the aftermath of unhappiness and disappointment for not honoring my higher self.
I have recently become increasingly aware of this personal failing and have been actively working to identify my motives for putting and keeping myself in these situations.
I have come so far in my quest for increased self-awareness and spiritual growth that I am willing to explore and deal with the deepest corners of my soul-self. True enlightenment is not only about our brightest achievements, but also about our darkest inner shadows.
Spiritual Growth Without Judgment Or Guilt
I recently had a nasty fight with my ex-husband that was definitely not in line with the spiritual values and principles I teach my clients. Afterwards, I felt very defeated and disappointed in myself for not practicing what I preach.
But then Spirit whispered in my ear.
“It’s okay not to be perfect all the time. Sometimes you need to let the toxic air out of your human ego balloon.”
Upon further reflection, I was reminded that we are all spirit beings in human form, which automatically means we are limited and fallible. No one is perfect in this world.
After all, we have signed up for a very challenging physical adventure in this lifetime, which means we all have problems from time to time and we all make mistakes. That is how we learn and grow. In fact, one of the least spiritual things we can do is pretend we’re perfect.
Sometimes we need to let off steam by releasing pent-up negative energies that tend to build up in our auras as we navigate the ups and downs and many frustrations of our daily human existence. Yes, indeed, there are times when we need to go ahead and just beat the heck out of our ego piñata to get rid of some bad juju! When we release these unwanted energies, we detoxify our energy field to live a more abundant and fulfilling life.
Don’t Let Fear Destroy Your Inner Peace
I did a reading today in which I channeled information that I feel is very relevant to many people.
I was counseling a client about the recurring conflict in her life, especially in her relationships. She had been experiencing repetitive scenarios of negative interactions with people and wanted to understand why this keeps happening.
Spirit delivered the following message for her benefit.
Human conflict is meant to inspire personal growth and soul evolution. If there had been no conflict in our evolutionary process on this planet, the highest form of life would be bacteria. There is a need for conflict to produce evolution and expansion.
In the human experience, conflict is integral to our personal spiritual enlightenment, as well as to our next stage of evolution as a species. Much of the conflict we experience in this life is mental and emotional conflict caused by interpersonal relationships.
The goal, however, is to learn the lessons that these conflicts teach us and to transcend its low vibrational energies.This is because the next stage of human evolution is the attainment of a higher level of consciousness. Each person’s outer world is expressed through their level of inner wisdom and soul growth.