self-mastery
How To Be More Present In Your Life
We often hear the advice that ‘being present’ is an important spiritual practice to master on our journey through life. Being present with ourselves and in the moment. I like to think of it as being with yourself wherever you go and whatever you do. This is certainly true, but what exactly does it mean? And with all the busyness of life and keeping up with our daily responsibilities, how do you become more present in your life?
Firstly, cultivating ‘presence’ requires time management and effective planning. It is important to organise the responsibilities of our lives in a manageable way. Otherwise, we find ourselves in a constant state of worry and stress, having to manage daily demands ‘on the fly’. And this is a sure way to lose our presence.
Planning ahead may seem like the opposite of being ‘in the moment’, but it is actually essential. When we are busy making plans for the coming week, thinking about what we need to prepare for and making decisions about how to organise our time and spend our energy, we don’t think much about the ‘present moment.’ But this is something we need to do in order to then be more present in our daily lives. It is key to cultivating presence.
The Spiritual Virtue Of Patience
Patience is considered an essential virtue in most spiritual and religious traditions for several reasons. It is consistent with the core values and teachings of various spiritual paths and belief systems.
Many spiritual practices emphasize the importance of maintaining a state of inner calm in the midst of life’s challenges. Patience is fundamental to achieving inner peace and serenity. Patience helps us maintain a sense of serenity even in the face of extreme adversity.
Patience also enables us to surrender to the universal flow and accept the divine timing of outcomes for our highest good. We are better equipped to accept the divine plan and trust in the unfolding of events and circumstances as they are meant to be. Patience signifies our belief in a higher power and the universal order of all things.
Through patient introspection and self-reflection, we learn to understand our own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, which leads to spiritual growth and self-improvement.
Impatience leads to negative emotions such as anger, frustration, and resentment. By practicing patience, we can better control and manage these emotions, which promotes emotional well-being and spiritual harmony.
Without patience, it is also difficult to develop understanding and empathy for others. Being patient with our own flaws and imperfections, as well as those of others, promotes the spiritual qualities of empathy and kindness.
Spiritual Self-Care Or Ego Indulgence?
Spiritual or metaphysical practice is a pursuit designed to help bring greater meaning and fulfillment to our lives. It is a lifestyle that requires us to be very honest with ourselves and very intentional about the choices we make. But lately I’ve seen a lot of discourse around spirituality that basically encourages you to do pretty much whatever you want in the name of ‘free will’ and ‘self-care.’
Free will is sacred. Yes, it’s true that we are divine, spiritual beings who get to enjoy this incredible adventure of physical life. We get to choose how we move in the world, what we want for ourselves, and how we want to live. But there are two sides to this coin. Yes, we can choose what we want to manifest and how we wish to live our lives, but that does not absolve us of our karmic responsibilities and the consequences of our actions.
I’ve written before about karma and how it’s not meant to be a punishment, but rather a teacher. There are to metaphysical laws that are the basis to our karmic responsibility in this lifetime, namely the universal law of cause and effect and the spiritual law of karma.
The universal law of cause and effect is that for every action there is a reaction. There is a natural order in the universe in which our actions always have consequences, both good and bad.
The spiritual law of karma is a more specific application of the law of cause and effect. According to this law, the totality of our actions in this life, as well as all of our past lives, determine our future. This means that our actions create the conditions for our future experiences, both good and bad.
Learning To Trust Your Intuition
How often have you said, “If only I had gone with my gut?” This is a question that many of us have asked ourselves at one time or another about a matter, or even about the sincerity of a person who turned out to be untrustworthy, and we gave them the benefit of the doubt, only to feel heartbroken when they betrayed us.
We don’t have to throw reason out the window when we tune into our inner wisdom called intuition. But while it’s good to have as many facts and information available as possible before making a choice or decision, there are certain times when we don’t have the luxury of first weighing all the pros and cons. Tapping into our intuition is a powerful tool for making difficult decisions and important life choices by spontaneously ‘knowing’ or ‘sensing’ what’s best for us in our work, business, relationship, or lifestyle.
For example, as a manager you may be hiring someone for a job who ticks all the boxes in terms of qualifications and experience, but that little inner voice is screaming, “Don’t hire this person!” If you then do hire them, you may find out later that they have deep-seated issues that will upset the rest of the staff and antagonize your customers.
So many clients have told me over the years that they had an overwhelming feeling that they were making a huge mistake, but they decided to marry someone because they wanted to make everyone else happy, or because so much effort and expense had gone into the wedding arrangements. Just the other day a client told me that he should have listened to his inner guidance, not to mention the guidance he received in a psychic reading that warned him that he would end up separating within a few months of the wedding. If only he had trusted his intuition.
How To Manifest Your Best Life
As spiritual beings in physical form, we are the conscious creators of our best life and have the divine power to shape our own destiny. We create our future every day with our free will. But contrary to what some believe, this is not just a matter of positive thinking, daydreaming, or casually wishing for a better future without being proactive.
To achieve what we want in life, we must take daily action steps that will lead to the achievement of our goals and manifest the results we desire.
If you have been wishing for a better life and a brighter future with little success, the following strategies can empower you to achieve better results. By implementing these tactics gradually, one day at a time, you will see a major change in your life.
Gratitude
Gratitude is the mother of all manifestation efforts. When we are grateful for what we already have, we attract more of what we want.
Seems simple, right? Yet we easily forget to count our blessings and tend to be very ungrateful. Instead of celebrating what is good in our lives, we tend to focus on what is wrong or missing. When we are constantly sulking or complaining, we are self-sabotaging because wherever our focus goes, energy flows.
Karma Is A Teacher, Not An Avenger
People often talk about karma as if it’s some form of divine punishment or retribution that will eventually be visited upon those who have wronged them. Letting karma “take care of it” is a comforting reassurance that we may be rewarded for being the ‘bigger person’ in unfair situations. And certainly it is always advisable to do the right thing when others are being petty or behaving badly.
But this is not karma.
The universe is not in the business of handing out ‘karmic punishment,’ for we are not judged as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ for our choices and actions. All of our choices and actions have value and teach us lessons. So, why would there be any need for a universal system of punishment? Or reward, for that matter?
This is not to say that karma does not exist. On the contrary, we can see karma at work all the time in everyday life, down to the most mundane things we choose to do. However, karma is not a force of reckoning, but the cause and effect of energy, which is a universal law.
When we live a heart-centered life, doing good deeds and being kind to ourselves and others, we will feel joyful, happy, fulfilled and at peace. We thrive in the vibrant flow of positive energy. On the other hand, when we live a heartless life, do things that are wrong, destructive, and evil, and we are unkind or cruel to ourselves and others, we will feel miserable, hopeless, dissatisfied, depressed. We suffer in the thick mud of negative energy.
The Ghosts Of Regret
As part of my training as a spiritual life coach, our class was asked to do a profound exercise. Our task was to imagine ourselves on our deathbed someday, being visited by a gathering of ghosts. We had to imagine these ‘ghosts’ from our past as being very bitter and angry, because they represented all the things we never achieved or succeeded in, coming back to haunt us. They were the ghosts of our unfulfilled goals and dreams returning to die along with us.
We were asked to then review our life and imagine what we would say to ourselves and our ‘ghosts,’ now that our life is over. What would we advise ourselves to do if we could go back in time, get a second chance, and somehow live our life anew?
For me, this was a very thought-provoking process. The first thought for me was my personal ‘bucket list’ of things I still want to experience in this lifetime. For example, I still want to travel on the Orient Express train with my family; see the view from The Shard (a 72-storey skyscraper in London); fly down The Grand Canyon; and witness the splendor of Niagara Falls.
There are many things I still hope to also do. But why have I not done at least some of it yet? Too busy earning a living? Yes, we all get busy, and most of us need to work. However, does this mean we cannot also lead a fuller life?
The next thought the deathbed exercise brought up for me was a sad memory from a few years ago, when my late brother was receiving rehabilitation treatment at a local hospital. We were very close as siblings. He confided in me one day, while we sat looking out the hospital window and saw a young family walking by, that he often feels intense regret and sadness when he sees people with their kids and grandkids, while he had no offspring of his own.