patterns
The Sweet Nectar Of Romantic Relationships
The energy of the hummingbird brings immense wisdom to be shared with us. When he appears it is always such a treat, as I have learnt so much from this amazing bird, including about love and romantic relationships.
When the hummingbird comes into my life asking to be painted, my vision blurs. I can then only see my artwork clearly and the brush strokes needed to finish his painting. I have learned that sometimes our own vision needs to become blurred, so that what we are seeking can be shown to us.
I have also learned that the ‘narrowed vision’ of hummingbird is vital to the health and vitality of our relationships, especially those of a romantic nature. When we keep our focus firmly on the present moment and the feelings we share with our partner in this moment, rather than on the negative thoughts, concerns or expectations, we blur out the noise.
This allows for a breaking away from the old energy patterns and lack consciousness that too often govern the roles played out in our relationships. It allows for a simplicity to arise in the communion and communication with our partner.
The hummingbird gathers nectar from the flower through its power of focus and natural instincts. It trusts its own innate nature to choose the flowers that will nourish and feed it. Finding trust in our own feelings and intuition is important, so that our relationships are nourished and allowed to blossom from within.
Dealing With A Narcissistic Partner
We all know at least one narcissist. It’s that toxic person in your life who seems charming and likable at first, but is actually extremely self-centered, has an inflated ego, shows no empathy or remorse, and can even become abusive. But what if that person is your partner, or someone you love?
Narcissists want to control. They want others to see them as important, superior and in charge. To a narcissist, someone who suffers from compromised self-esteem, is easy prey, which is why many people who have a narcissistic partner find it difficult to break it off.
Abuse is not always physical. It also takes the form of verbal insults, emotional manipulation or gaslighting, withholding affection, and unequal sharing of duties. All of these forms of abuse feed into a narcissist’s egotism. Narcissists typically try to rope their partners into joining into these negative, harmful relationship patterns.
So, what do you do when you find yourself attached to an abusive narcissist? At first, it’s easy to try and explain away their abusive behavior by citing times when they shows affection, brought gifts, or offered kindness and emotional support. They are good at pretending, but don’t be fooled.
Setting up healthy and definitive boundaries is the first and best defense. Know that you have the right to say no at any time! Falling for gaslighting, emotional manipulation and blackmail is an easy trap, and most narcissists are masters at these psychological games. If you’re unsure of yourself, role-play with a trusted friend or counselor, or read up on the subject. Like most difficult things in life, it takes practice.
Spiritual Healing
Healing from a serious or chronic illness may happen under different circumstances, and it some cases it can appear fully spontaneous. Behind every healing option there is a complex process which we never fully understand.
Our mindset is however an important player in how things unfold. But it is more than just having a positive attitude—it has many facets. And since the term ‘mind’ is a more modern concept, I prefer to refer to ‘spirit,’ which encompasses the mind in all its complex depth, along with emotions and sensations.
Spiritual healing can be defined in many ways, through many traditions. It seems to me useful to talk about the effect on the person, and understand it from that point of view. An experience of any kind may be a spiritual healing process, whenever a breakthrough takes place, or a release of inner pain occurs to make room for acceptance.
This might not be a painless process, otherwise it would happen much more easily, but it is a necessary step, because it allows us to abandon a repeating loop focused on pain. As an example, I can think of someone in a dysfunctional marriage, into which much work has been invested, including some counseling or therapy, but the only thing still keeping it together is the desire to ‘not fail.’
Active Listening – A Message From My Guides
Your ears are working all day long. They hear thousands and thousands of sounds. Most sounds are routine, so many are dismissed as the normal cacophony of a busy life.
Without particularly focusing, you can easily differentiate between outdoor construction work, the squeal of tires on pavement, and the subtle dripping of a faucet indoors. You can also be awakened by an unusual sound while you are sound asleep.
With all this hearing going on 24/7, how often do you really make time to truly listen? Not just to miscellaneous, irrelevant sounds, or humdrum activity, but to the voices of loved ones and your own inner voice?
The key here is time. Everyone is so busy these days, that we are often thinking of something in the past, or planning hours, days or weeks in advance. Meanwhile, golden opportunities to learn more about each other can easily slip by.
People often hide their fears behind words of bravado or arrogance. When strangled by ego, they can overcompensate by sounding obnoxious or condescending. When they are feeling small or insignificant, people can try too hard to impress. Each of these attitudes can be annoying to the listener.
You Could Choose Peace Instead
It is the natural order for seasons to change. This is true on a macro scale in weather systems, and on a micro scale on our soul’s journey. Life is a constant ebb and flow, and it is useless to fight against the tides. Spirit often reminds us, when we are in a difficult season, that it is simply a part of the process of change and growth.
I read the Tarot, a divination system based on universal archetypes, which can be used to see the momentum of a person’s life. The Tarot consists of many archetypes that are challenging and even represent the darker aspects of the human experience. However, these experiences are not ‘bad’ or ‘wrong.’
Too often people will get a challenging message from the Tarot and they will immediately freak out. However, all of life is meant to be embraced and we all have the ability to transcend even the most challenging of obstacles.
There are two primary factors that decrease the severity of the challenges we face in life. The first is acceptance and the second is responsibility.
Becoming ‘stressed out’ over our circumstances cannot resolve the challenges we are facing. We must accept where we are and understand that we cannot change the past. We have no power over the things that led us to this moment, or to these challenges. The only thing we can do is accept the circumstances and understand that we are the only ones that have the power to make changes in our life.
Free Yourself With The Power Of Forgiveness
How can we possibly reconcile the feelings of anger and betrayal with a need to forgive? Are we compromising our integrity in doing so?
Forgiveness can seem like an impossibility… but it doesn’t have to be. It’s really one of the few things in life that really matters, whether it means forgiving ourselves, or someone else. It is said that allowing someone to continuously upset you, is to allow them to ‘live rent-free inside your mind.’
Others hurt us all the time. Holding on to this hurt for long periods of time can damage us physically and psychologically. And then there are those ‘little things’… like someone cutting you off in traffic, or forgetting an important date.
One thing forgiveness does not do, is make us forget the source of the pain. What it does is allow a reconciliation with what happened, and allows us to move on in a productive way. When you were a child, perhaps you got hurt with a hot stove burner or electrical outlet. You didn’t (hopefully) spend the rest of your life being angry at stoves or electrical outlets! This is basically how forgiveness also works. We can acknowledge that someone or something caused us to hurt, and be aware of how that happened, but still move past it and get on with our lives.
Holding on to anger and bitterness will color all your relationships, until you learn to forgive and let go. If, for example, you ended a toxic relationship and decided to start dating again, you might not be able to fully trust, because of the possibility of reliving that pain. A truly intimate relationship will never happen without forgiveness.
Maintain A High Vibration With Constant Awareness
Being aware is the most important component of maintaining a high vibration. We tend to revert to old patterns and habits that cause a lower vibration at times. One needs to be consciously aware and pay attention to these lower vibrations, when they happen, and do something to realign your energy frequency.
When you experience a shift in vibration, there are many great techniques to raise your vibration, such as Transcendental Meditation or Kundalini Yoga… or just something as simple as taking a salt water bath! Another quick way to shift your energy is to put sage oil in a spray bottle of water and spray it over your head, to give yourself a quick cleanse.
You can also maintain a high vibration by keeping your house clean, and asking the angels to bless you with their love and light. Do whatever it takes to shift negative energy in your life into a positive frequency. The longer you stay in a zone of negative energy, the harder it will become to get rid of it.
Your energy frequency plays a vital role in your life, as it defines your connection to both the physical and the spiritual world. Aim to keep your vibration as high as possible at all times, as lower vibrational frequencies are linked to feelings of depression, fear, doubt and anxiety. To keep your vibration high, and maintain it on high in the world we currently live in, is certainly a challenge, but it is worth the effort.