patterns
How To Overcome Negative Thought Patterns
There are times when one may be feeling very serene, and completely at peace with ourselves and the world. One may even be feeling highly satisfied with the spiritual growth and personal healing you have accomplished thus far. Then, quite unexpectedly, you lose your sense of alignment. You suddenly feel ‘disconnected’ from the source of our being.
This feeling is especially triggered when one feels overwhelmed by life’s responsibilities, or the constant demands of others. And once we slip into this negative state of mind, many deeply buried, unpleasant memories tend to emerge in our consciousness in the form of haunting ‘flashbacks.’
I recently heard a friend referring to this experience as cognitive distortion. We can so easily begin to catastrophize, and expect the ‘other shoe to drop,’ once our anxiety level becomes this amplified. The mind is powerful and under these circumstances we tend to indulge in a lot of ‘what if’ thinking. The mind races, imagining all the worst case scenarios as potential outcomes.
This kind of catastrophic thinking typically takes our mind into two directions. Firstly, it puts a truly negative spin on the current situation. And secondly, it causes us to anticipate all the many, many things that could possibly go wrong in the future.
Polarized thinking is another problem for some of us. This thought pattern is when we only see things in terms of right or wrong, and this can lead to setting unachievable standards for ourselves and others, as well as send our stress levels through the roof! Polarized thinking crops up when we find ourselves basing our hopes and expectations on, for example, getting that dream job, impressing other people, finding our soulmate, becoming famous, and so on.
Feeling Like You’re Not Good Enough
Sometimes we put our heart and soul into a relationship, only to get cheated on, or dumped for no reason. The main question that usually comes to mind in this type of situation is, “Why am I not good enough?”
Take a moment and consider the relationships of relatives and friends, who have gone through similar a experience. Some people are able to jump right up and move forward, while others sit and wallow in self-doubt and self-loathing – sometimes for years.
Working with many people over the years, one of the biggest eye openers for me has been that it is typically the partner who is left behind, and then struggles to move forward, who compromised the most in the relationship. They usually gave, and gave, and gave, and didn’t receive much in return. Their needs always took a backseat in the relationship. They would sacrifice more and more, until there was nothing left for them to give, while their partner did not change and simply kept using and abusing them.
If you constantly compromise on what you really want from a relationship, the union will at some point simply disintegrate. The other person is never going to magically become someone different. That person you hoped they would become, after you moved in, or after you gave a little more, or after you married them, or after you had a child with them…never shows up. What you see in someone from the start, is simply who they are.
The World Needs You
The concept of spiritual awakening is central to most New Age teachings and modern metaphysical belief systems. This is because we can only create effective change in this world once we become aware, or conscious, of the world around us.
So, what exactly does it mean to ‘wake up’ in spiritual terms? Too many people believe that being spiritually ‘awake’ or ‘conscious’ is simply observing the challenges that are all around us. However, this is not the full implication of being aware from a spiritual perspective.
It is true that we must be able to see things more clearly and honestly, to be able to make changes for the better. But, being awake from a spiritual perspective is much more about personal responsibility than it is about just recognizing the challenges that exist on the planet.
Author and philosopher, Howard Thurman, said, “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go do it. Because what the world needs is people that have come alive.” He makes a very valid point.
To be spiritually-minded is to recognize that we are the creators of our world and our own reality experiences. Every thought we think is being returned to us as experience. It is true that there are tremendous challenges facing our world today, but it is equally true that we are either contributing to those challenges, or dissolving those challenges through our own personal patterns.
Our thoughts and beliefs contribute to the war, famine, dis-eases, and other challenges the world is facing. Our thoughts can also contribute to global peace, abundance, and prosperity.
The Power Of Mindfulness
Many spiritual and metaphysical teachers focus much attention on spiritual practices like meditation and mindfulness. The goal of these practices is to allow our consciousness to shift away from the past and the future, to focus instead on the present moment.
It is important to understand that the past is over. There is nothing taking place in the past any longer. This is important to understand if someone has a habit of rehashing the past in their mind. It doesn’t matter if someone is focusing on positive past experiences or negative events. Too much attention on the past is never useful.
The future is another area where people expend a lot of mental attention. Fantasy and worry are the two most common focuses when obsessing over the future. However, there is no amount of fantasy or worry that can ever make someone’s life better.
When we expend too much of our energy on the past or future, we are sacrificing the precious present moment. For this reason many spiritual teachings and traditions encourage mindfulness and meditation. These practices allow us to recognize our daily thought patterns and help us gain an understanding of where our attention is focused.
The present is the only moment that is real and that truly matters. This is where everything is happening – in the now. This is also the only moment where you have any real power.
Aligning Yourself With Abundance
We tend to focus a lot of mental and emotional energy on abundance and prosperity. Which is a good thing. As humans we are meant to live an abundant life. However, I have talked to many clients that have been focusing their attention on abundance, but say that they only experience lack.
From a metaphysical and spiritual perspective there are several reasons why this may occur. The first is that people are often unclear about what they want. Second, it is common for individuals to invest their energies on limited mindsets about abundance, or a lack of trust. The third primary reason why people don’t achieve what they say they want, is that they focus on what is absent, rather than on what is present in their lives.
The first challenge, that many of us must overcome to experience true abundance, is to be clear about what we really want. Too often people seeking abundance simply think that a certain amount of money in their lives will fix their problems. However, abundance is often less about money, and more about a personal sense of security and stability.
True abundance is not the amount of money one has in the bank. Abundance is about having enough time and freedom to do what we want to do in our lives. True abundance is the freedom to achieve personal goals and enough energy to create happy and fulfilling relationships. And yes, money too. Money is certainly one factor to the equation. However, many things that people say that they want can be achieved without having access to a limitless amount of money.