life design
Free Yourself From An Unhealthy Relationship
An intimate relationship or marriage is meant to be a safe space. Your partner or spouse is supposed to be the closest person in your life. They should be the one person you are able to trust unconditionally with the most important aspects of your life.
If you are currently in a challenging relationship, you need to ask yourself if this union has all the key traits for a healthy, happy relationship. Do you feel secure, safe, and supported? More importantly, do you feel loved and valued?
If not, are you hoping it will somehow work eventually, and develop into something that will offer you more of what you need and deserve?
These are vital questions to ask yourself, not only before you commit to someone, but also throughout the relationship. All relationships evolve over time as people change and grow.
Just because everything was great during the initial ‘honeymoon’ phase of a relationship, does not guarantee it will remain that way. A healthy relationship continues to grow and evolve, as both partners grown and evolve.
I have worked with many clients over the years who settled for less, or got caught up in the downward spiral of a dysfunctional, toxic relationship. Saying “I love you” does not mean much if it is not backed up by matching actions and behavior.
Transform Your Life One Step At A Time
Knowing when to make that much needed change in your life can be daunting and very confusing. We often feel this need for change when we already have a lot going on. We tend to also overthink things and then feel overwhelmed, or even paralyzed with anxiety or fear.
Once you get into this kind of ‘stuck’ pattern, nothing seems to get done or resolved. No choices or decisions are made. In turn, this causes even more unhappiness, distress, and turmoil in your life. We all have a tendency to get in our own way.
Over the years of working with many clients in this situation, spirit has always made one thing very clear: it always starts with a firm choice or decision. You don’t have to act on it immediately, but it instantly begins to shift your energy in a new direction, or towards a long-term solution.
Indecision, fear, or lack of commitment to a clear vision for the future is first and foremost what keeps many people stuck indefinitely in the stagnant energy loop of an unhappy, unfulfilled life.
Once you have made up your mind about what you intend to achieve or which direction you wish to go, you gain more clarity and become calmer and more grounded to start taking baby steps forward. Then you can begin to resolve the situation one step at a time with spirit’s support.
To get started consider a simple, step-by-step approach to make break the process down into smaller steps that will be less overwhelming and more attainable.
From Fictional Self To Authentic Self
A new concept that seems to be going around a lot lately in the spiritual community is to be your ‘authentic self.’ But what does this really mean? How do you know who your authentic self is? Heck, you may say, “I’m still trying to find out what my life purpose is, never mind who I truly am!”
Well, as a result of our education, our upbringing, our family dynamics, our job, and such, when we are asked the question “who are you,” we resort to answers such as: a mom, a dad, engineer, doctor, janitor. We tend to express our identity by what work we do, what credentials we have, and what society or our community has told us to be. We are bombarded by social, political, environmental and family expectations that can overwhelm us in modern life.
On top of this, the world today seems to be in chaos. There is distrust everywhere, and we have to contend with challenges like identity theft and social peer pressure. Yet, we are now also expected to know our authentic self? “God, help me, I don’t have time to look for that! I have the kids to take care of, work deadlines to keep, dinner and laundry to do, and I urgently need to sign up for an exercise program to reduce my weight!”
It is never ending, you say. Your authentic self is somewhere, you just don’t know where and no time to find it. But that is just the point! All these things we are expected to do are there because of the pressure we put on ourselves. As we look through our colored lenses of self-inflicted expectations and the social pressure we have learned from family or peers, we lose touch with who we really are, and what we truly want.
Frog’s Wisdom To Adapt To Change
I must admit, when I initially discovered that my spirit animal is the frog, my ego took somewhat of a dive! The frog is such a small, insignificant creature that is mostly overlooked, and certainly not the most attractive of species.
In had secretly hoped my totem animal might be a majestic, powerful animal that commands attention and is admired, even adored. But here was the tiny frog, my spirit guide.
However, once I uncovered some of the spiritual symbolism of this amazing little being, I soon grew to embrace its guiding presence in my life. Frog has in fact been teaching me much about myself, my path, and my place in the world.
The magnificent little frog’s most prominent attribute is its ability to adapt and transform. Frogs are all about change and new beginnings. They are also associated with purification, rebirth, and welcoming luck and abundance into your life. Frog is therefore the ideal power animal for anyone going through major changes in their life.
In my case, it was the opposite. Over the years, I had gradually developed a worldview that was somewhat stringent, restrained, and resistant to change. My inability to communicate with grace and clarity further complicated this outlook by causing me to become frustrated, and sometimes even angry and resentful.
The fact that I chose to perceive life in a self-limiting way was not apparent to me, until frog showed up. But with frog’s inspiration the realization started to sink in that it was not that the world was not kind, patient and accommodating towards me, but instead that I was creating resistance and that my needs and expectations were not always clearly expressed to others.
Happiness Is To Follow Your Path With Joy
Discouragement, failure, heartache. Poor Moses did not have it easy. He went daily to the throne of the Pharaoh to ask for the release of his people. His life hadn’t started out very well. His mother had to hide him in the bulrushes, so he wouldn’t be killed right after his birth.
Then he went to live in the princess’s house, and knowing he was different he often felt alone. Adopted by royalty, his biological mother and sister were still living as slaves in the fields. He wasn’t happy. He should have been in high spirits, because he had everything a young man could desire…except he knew he didn’t belong.
Then, before he realized what had happened, this young man had killed an Egyptian soldier! So, here he was, a sought criminal, running away and going into hiding.
He had a stutter when he spoke, so he was a quiet man. But then Great Spirit puts him on his true path, instructing him to “go talk to Pharaoh, tell him to let my people go.”
What! Look, this path can’t be right? Yet, reassured by the prophets, the messengers, he embraced his task of getting the Israelites out of Egypt. With his brother by his side to do the talking, Moses finally went to the Pharaoh, and kickstarted the dream of freedom from slavery.
God helped Moses by creating problems for the Egyptians. He sent plagues and calamities. At first the results were disappointing and there was no change. Time after time, ten times in fact, just as the release seemed to be granted, the Pharaoh snatched it back again. But eventually see the plan finally work out.
Life Lesson From A Resilient Robin
A few days after I saw a robin attempting to build a nest on a neighbor’s balcony in my apartment building, I spotted another robin with a chest covered in mud. I was thrilled, as I knew this meant a little miracle of life was going to happen. And, it did. Three days later, she laid her clutch of tiny blue eggs in a nest built in a perennial shrub, next to the complex entry way where residents come and go all day.
Her strategy for building the nest in such a busy location became apparent two days after she had laid her eggs. A pack of savage crows descended on the nest, tragically cutting her clutch in half. Unlike the other robins, she had built her nest here so that she could potentially depend on human activity for added protection. Sadly, her plan failed.
Crows are one of the most intelligent bird species on the planet. They know and remember their potential enemies and prey. She may have cleverly built her nest here, hoping to avoid them because there are constantly humans around, but keeping crows away can be a real challenge, because of their intelligence and their adaptability. Things that scare them off at first, soon does not bother them anymore.
The crows were however the least of the strategic robin’s problems. After the crow rampage, the landscaping crew came through the property, using a weed whacker on the shrub where her nest was located. I later found her outside. Assuming she was traumatized and stress-foraging, I felt really sad for her. But she stared at me questioningly, then flew into a tree, while I feebly tried to console her. “All your efforts have been in vain,” I sadly thought while looking at her.
The Twin Flame Relationship
The concept of a twin flame relationship has gained much popularity in recent years, as more people seek to understand the nature of their romantic relationships.
Twin flames, also known as ‘mirror souls’ or ‘karmic lovers,’ are essentially two halves of one soul. Our twin flame is therefore the other half of our original soul that has been split into two different bodies in this lifetime.
Twin flames share a deep spiritual bond that goes beyond physical attraction or emotional connection. Our twin flame is our perfect counterpart, and once we are reunited with them, we experience the ultimate expression of divine love and spiritual connection.
A twin flame is however not exactly the same as a soulmate. While soulmates are also souls with whom we have meaningful spiritual or karmic connections, we only have one twin flame with whom we are connected on a much deeper level. Soulmates are therefore distinct souls that are separate from us, while we share the same soul with our twin flame.
This soul bond is said to be unbreakable and eternal over many lifetimes and in other dimensions. Twin flames are destined to fulfill a higher purpose together and to help each other grow spiritually.
Recognizing your twin flame can be difficult, as it is not always obvious initially. Twin flame relationships are characterized by intense attraction that goes beyond mere physical attraction, as well as a deep sense of familiarity and a feeling of finally being ‘home’ when together. There is usually an indescribable feeling of completeness or wholeness.