healing
Aligning Yourself To Attract Lasting Love
When I do readings, many people usually want to talk about their love life. This is a valid and meaningful subject for all of us. Having a meaningful, harmonious and loving relationship is a wonderful part of the human experience. However, it is also true that a relationship often does not solve many of the problems and issues we have as a single person.
It is important to understand that we carry our consciousness with us everywhere we go. If you assume that you will find a relationship that will ‘make you happy,’ then you are deeply mistaken.
Yes, we may draw temporary relational circumstances that allow us to feel a little better about ourselves, but without a firm structure of personal happiness, we will eventually engage in self-sabotaging behaviors that cause the relationship to become unsustainable.
Again, we will carry our consciousness with us everywhere that we go. If we are discontent being single, we will find a way to be discontent in the relationship also.
Every relationship is the product of co-creation. Too often when a relationship does not work out, it is easy to point to the other person and say, “You did this to me.” And it makes sense, because if the original assumption is that the other person will ‘make us happy,’ then we will also make the automatic assumption that the other person can ‘make us miserable.’
Feeling Like You’re Not Good Enough
Sometimes we put our heart and soul into a relationship, only to get cheated on, or dumped for no reason. The main question that usually comes to mind in this type of situation is, “Why am I not good enough?”
Take a moment and consider the relationships of relatives and friends, who have gone through similar a experience. Some people are able to jump right up and move forward, while others sit and wallow in self-doubt and self-loathing – sometimes for years.
Working with many people over the years, one of the biggest eye openers for me has been that it is typically the partner who is left behind, and then struggles to move forward, who compromised the most in the relationship. They usually gave, and gave, and gave, and didn’t receive much in return. Their needs always took a backseat in the relationship. They would sacrifice more and more, until there was nothing left for them to give, while their partner did not change and simply kept using and abusing them.
If you constantly compromise on what you really want from a relationship, the union will at some point simply disintegrate. The other person is never going to magically become someone different. That person you hoped they would become, after you moved in, or after you gave a little more, or after you married them, or after you had a child with them…never shows up. What you see in someone from the start, is simply who they are.
The Pursuit Of Spiritual Healing
Energy healing can takes many forms: physical healing of the body; emotional healing of the heart, mental healing, and soul healing. But ultimately the best form of spiritual healing is holistic healing of the body, heart, mind, and soul.
The nature of a healing session will usually be determined by the healer. The individual may suggest the type of healing they wish to receive, but reputable healers will typically suggest or recommend the best strategy, depending on what they see is most needed. A good healer will assess the situation and determine the best way to proceed with the healing, and which methods to use.
There are basically three categories of energy or spiritual healing: hands-on, hands-free and distance healing. The methods may include chakra alignment, Reiki, meditation, prayer, visualization, acupuncture, psychic reading and intuitive guidance, bodywork, touch therapies, breathwork, pranic healing, shamanic rituals, soul retrieval and soul rescue, shadow work, inner child healing, and past life regression, to name but a few.
Whatever method or technique we choose, one needs to be certain it is suitable for the individual. No single path leads everyone through the process of healing. We need to be sure that we start them on a path along which we they will be able to continue and complete. It does help if the individual that we are working on is open to the process. As healers we must ensure that our clients are in the right head space, and openness is key to having the best from the healing process.
The Power Of Your Totems
Those of us who are metaphysically inclined often believe in the power of carrying a sacred object, symbolic item, or ‘totem.’ The totem is worn or kept on one’s person for various purposes, including healing, protection, guidance, or support.
This spiritual practice is known as Totemism. It is a system of belief in which humans are said to have a mystical relationship or kinship with a spirit-being, such as an animal, plant or symbolic object.
Believing in the power of a ‘totem helper’ gives one the kind of spiritual self-confidence that can make the difference between success and failure. Actually, I wear on my person a medicine bag in the Native American tradition, which contains various totems or ‘alliances’ I have found in nature.
Some of them were gifted to me, because they resonated with my energetic frequency and “wanted to be with me,” as friends and fellow metaphysicians have stated through the years. It is our custom to save special things of this nature for gifting to each other, especially at sacred times of the year, such as when we celebrate the solstices.
Right now, I am surrounded by all of these charming personal offerings. There are the great horned owl feathers that were gifted to me, for example. I used it to make a prayer stick, that I now make use of during meditation, and sometimes also as an altar piece. In the tradition of Totemism, I consider it to be part of a living being, which is the altar. Indeed, every altar has its own ‘being-ness,’ the same as any other sacred deity.
Showing Up When Spirit Calls
Many years ago, while working in a clinical practice, I was called to lead a group of women who were survivors of domestic abuse. At that time, my role within the organization was strictly administrative. I had no clinical experience and quite frankly had serious misgivings about how well these women would be served through our agency’s poorly-funded, piecemeal program with severe limitations.
As we were on the verge of losing our contract altogether, the executive director burst into my office one morning and announced that I would be the interim director of the domestic violence program, in order to save the contract. I sat motionless, with a look of deep concern on my face.
Before I could respond verbally, my executive director began reviewing a county contract that outlined the qualifications of the new program director. As she flipped through the pages of the lengthy contract, my hope was that somewhere in bold writing there might be a job description that required a clinical background in Psychology or Social Work, but this was not the case.
I recall that same day reaching out to my dear friend and confidant, a fellow psychic and spiritual counselor who always helped me find clarity, especially when I felt completely lost in a situation. While my friend’s words were comforting and reassuring, she also shocked me out of my comfort zone. I wanted to hear from her an easy way to get out of my new job assignment, but she announced that I had a calling to help a group of women whose lives desperately needed to be changed.
Gauchito Gil – The Cowboy Saint
There are many saints not officially recognized by the Roman Catholic Church, or by any other religion for that matter. One of the most popular among them is Antonion Gil, better known as the Gauchito Gil (Little Gaucho Gil). His popularity rose exponentially in the last few decades and he is considered miraculous by many people who venerate him. He might not be properly canonized, but he is informally considered to be a saint in Argentina. His cult is so widespread that everyone in the country at least knows of his existence.
When traveling from one town to another in the Argentine provinces, it is very common to see a tree with many red ribbons blowing in the wind, and underneath it a small wooden case that holds an image of Gauchito Gil. In some places there are even a small temple, or even a church dedicated to this saintly figure. None of them are recognized officially by the Catholic Church, but the service of a priest is not uncommon.
Gauchito Gil’s life came to a tragic end 142 years ago, on January 8, 1878, near Mercedes, Corrientes, in Argentina. His executioners were a group of policemen who had to transfer him to the courts of Goya, but who decided instead to execute him on the way there.
Gil was accused of being a deserter and a matrero (someone who lives in isolation to be out of reach from the law). But the laborers and peasants in the area knew him instead as a warrior for justice, who protected the weak, relieved the sick and avenged the humiliated. His enemies considered him a fearsome expropriator, as well as a healer capable of making people fall in love with him, or paralyzing them with his powerful eyes.
Take Back Your Power!
Everyone has a story to tell about their love life. And some of have extremely abusive stories to tell. One common element that I have come across frequently in my work, is the fact that some people are treated with disrespect and emotional abuse, and yet they are still patiently waiting for the abuser to return to them!
When you ask them why, it is usually because they “still love” that person. Well, that is not love. It is simply an imagined need that has been created by the abuser, or by one’s lack of self-worth. It is a psychological illusion, not real.
If you are still waiting for someone to come back into your life, after they left you for someone else, you are making yourself the second choice. You are degrading your own true value and taking away from your self-worth.
During a workshop I presented on this subject, I asked the participants to write down why they felt they needed that other person in their life. In essence, all their responses ended up being about lack of self-esteem, self-respect and self-security.
The next step was to ask them how they would you feel if they saw someone treating their daughter, or son, in the same way they have been allowing the abusive partner to treat them? They all said they wouldn’t tolerate it. They would intervene and get that person out of their lives, or at least try. One of the delegates even went as far as to say, “I would lock her in the house and never let her out again.” Which might be a great idea under the circumstances, but obviously not realistic!