The Truth About ‘Twin Flames’

If you are confused about the spiritual concept of ‘twin flames’ and ‘soulmates,’ you’re not alone. Perhaps, I can shed some light on this very misunderstood subject.

I could never have understood or imagined it myself either, until I found myself going through the ‘madness’ myself, over 20 years ago. If you have never gone through a so-called twin flame experience, you won’t understand it. It’s a romantic connection like no other! But the biggest lesson I learned for it is that it is also no reason to stay in a toxic relationship.

My twin flame relationship was highly important to me, regardless of it being a one-way street. I meant so much to me that I ended up travelling to Mumbai, India, to obtain advice and assistance from a highly skilled gurugi (spiritual teacher). I was convinced that she could fix things for me, since my relationship was surely ‘meant to be.’

The feelings were so intense, for me, anyway. And, I was convinced that my beloved’s feelings for me were of the same exquisite level. In fact, I had no idea or any way of gauging otherwise. The ultimate fantasy, right!

Further, I thought that it was up to me to heal this person that had captured my heart. It seemed to me the more painful the relationship was, the more healing I had to do for him. As a result, I carried the entire relationship energetically, and emotionally.

For example, although I had always been a passionate ‘foodie,’ I began to look anorexic, as I continued on this healing mission for him. I was eating plenty of good food all the time, but I realize now that I was so drained, as a result of giving him so much of my energy, that it wouldn’t have mattered what, or how much I ate.

The minute I heard my first love story I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along ~ Rumi

Apparently, when we lose sight of ourselves, in an effort to psychically and emotionally respond to another’s neediness, also known as psychic vampirism, the drain of our own energy can also manifest on an obvious physical level.

Interestingly, this is how I ended up doing psychic readings professionally. Smacked additionally with a huge spiritual awakening, when my twin flame relationship finally fell apart, life turned upside down for me, requiring some deep diving into my own healing process. Later, I wanted to help others that were going through what I went through.

My approach is always about the journey into self-healing, so no matter if a client feels they are in a twin flame connection or not, I will try to take the label off the table and help guide them into their own healing, as these ties are like mirrors reflecting back to us our own shadows.

To me, the healing has been a difficult, but beautiful journey, and in no way has it been abusive or toxic. True twin flame relationships are rarely so enlightening. It is the self-induced healing that counts in almost all cases, although there are very rare exceptions and only when it is a real split-soul connection.

Many believe, or want to know they are in such a special relationship, and I won’t argue if they feel they are. I focus on the healing, not the significance of the ‘spiritual union.’  It is because of my own experience that I am able to connect with clients and help them without judgment. Yet, often it results in my having to call out unhealthy patterns, no matter whether it’s twin flame or not, in order to focus on the healing. I will never contribute to keeping anyone in a destructive pain cycle, which is too often the case.

I find that regardless of whether a client wants to label themselves as twin flames, or whatever, this is an opportunity to help someone on their journey. Because I have been there, I have a deep compassion and an empathic connection, and an affinity to be able to see where they have energetically drawn certain situations based on their own unhealed wounds. Then, I can help them work through them, since I understand they feel the way they do, as well as knowing what they are going through.

It is an absolute human certainty that no one can know his own beauty or perceive a sense of his own worth until it has been reflected back to him in the mirror of another loving, caring human being ~ John Joseph Powell

The pain is usually devastating! It must be reckoned with sooner or later, in order to be emotionally healthy. The sooner the better.

The idea of twin flames, or soul-splitting, was summoned by the creative mind of Plato, the ancient Greek philosopher. In his version, it was a man that was split into two men, then extrapolated upon, over and over, by different spiritual viewpoints.

The universe is constantly expanding and our ideas of how things work change along with it. If something works for you and causes no harm to anyone, including yourself, it’s all good. However, the term  ‘twin flame’ has caused much harm to many. This is in great part due to a misunderstanding of its true meaning, and how it is often applied to relationship erroneously, not to mention that it purveys a kind of insistence for the end-all, be-all partner that will finally ‘make one whole.’

Usually, it’s a term that is latched onto due to poor choices, and using the term twin flame is often also an opportunistic excuse to explain desperate behavior. The bottom line is that not everyone actually has a twin flame in this lifetime, and even if they do, it’s highly unlikely that their other soul-half will be on the planet at the same time.

Another point that often is missed is that twin flame connections are less about the two people, and more about how their union will raise the consciousness of the planet, which is actually their purpose. If they are spiritual twins, a part of the same soul, their relationship in this life does not necessarily have to be romantic in nature.

Often, when true twin flames come together romantically, it is to fine-tune their essence, which can lead to great disappointment, because it requires such an extremely high-level cognizance of spirituality, that the passion tend to get in the way. A famous example of such a couple, who adored the intense feelings evoked, but couldn’t keep any level of constraint that could work for them, is the celebrity couple, Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton. Although they married and divorced three times, they could not find a balance, no matter how hard they tried.

And when one of them meets the other half, the actual half of himself, whether he be a lover of youth or a lover of another sort, the pair are lost in an amazement of love and friendship and intimacy and one will not be out of the other’s sight, as I may say, even for a moment ~ Plato

Many people are trauma-bonded and mistake abuse, conflict and drama for love. That’s not a twin flame connection! It is porous boundaries, codependency and attachment disorder. Although there can be romantic elements, that is rarely the point.

Having said all of that, and perhaps ‘bursting your bubble,’ I must mention that there exists the rare twin flame relationships that are truly like fairy-tales come true. One of those examples is former US president Jimmy Carter and his wife Rosalynn. They have managed to achieve the integrity of balance required to maintain their deep soul connection. There is a purity that surrounds them that one can feel, and they fit the model regarding the purpose of twin flames: they have raised the consciousness of the planet and continue to do so every day of their seventy-three year old marriage while they are both now in their ninth decade on the planet!

We are all taking different paths in this life, and it’s never a one-size-fits-all. Due to the very nature of what a ‘twin flame’ really means, I can assure you that those whom insist they are in such a predestined relationship are mistaken. My own ‘twin flame’ liaison was also not the ‘real deal,’ but I didn’t have the tools then to know the difference. However, I know better now.

I feel it’s a matter of honor to use my knowledge to buoy those that are dealing with a ‘twin flame’ quandary, especially when I know not only that their chances are extremely remote, but further, how to tell the difference. As always, my primary concern is regarding what is in the best interest of the client.