Life Design
The True Meaning Of Surrender
When life becomes too challenging, and things begin to fall apart for us, we usually seek spiritual guidance and comfort. And in these circumstances we often tend to hear terms like surrender, release and acceptance. We are told to just let it go and simply be in the moment.
But what does it really mean to surrender? It’s a term often used in spiritual and metaphysical circles. Is there even such a thing? And if so, what does it entail? According to the dictionary, surrender means to stop fighting and admit defeat. It also conjures up the vision of waving a white flag. But is spiritual surrender truly nothing more than throwing in the towel, and graciously accepting our defeat?
I prefer to explore the meaning of spiritual ‘surrender’ through the metaphor of a painting I made, which is my way of meditating and reflecting on life. The painting is of an angel and I even named it Surrender. I chose this name, because it is the energy this angel emanates. His pose and posture also symbolizes the act of surrender.
At the time of working with the energy of this piece, I was in the process of leaving the security of a mainstream finance career, to establish myself as a full-time artist, energy healer and spiritual reader. Meanwhile, I was also very busy navigating a family separation and divorce. There were so many major changes in my life, and so much about my future and my life path that remained uncertain and unknown.
During my painting time, I felt connected to an energy that provide me with wise counsel. It was during a time in my life when I wasn’t feeling grounded in my own wisdom, and I needed a way to feel into it. This painting for me became the bridge in my understanding, as I navigated my new life changes.
How To Remain Grateful
In our daily life, it is all too easy to lose sight of the good things. We tend to get lost in negativity and stress, and we are also affected by the opinions and drama of those around us. At times it can be overwhelming.
In these moments we lose our sense of spiritual awareness and connection. I often speak with clients who experience exactly this. Indeed, it takes practice and re-commitment on a daily basis, in order to maintain our balance and inner peace, and remain true to our beliefs and mantras.
One of our own worst enemies is actually our false beliefs about ourselves. It is so easy to allow self-doubt to take over and let the negative thoughts creep in. Self-worth is a daily challenge for most, if not all of us.
To remain grounded and positive, I find that doing my daily gratitude list really helps get me back to that spiritual place within. When you are feeling low, or have had a stressful day, try keeping the following set of reminders posted as a list on your fridge, or somewhere you can see it daily. It will help change your focus.
What am I grateful for today? Who or what made my life easier or better today?
Did I allow negativity to affect me today? How can I remain grounded and avoid that next time?
Is there a better way I can deal with that difficult person or situation?
How To Overcome Negative Thought Patterns
There are times when one may be feeling very serene, and completely at peace with ourselves and the world. One may even be feeling highly satisfied with the spiritual growth and personal healing you have accomplished thus far. Then, quite unexpectedly, you lose your sense of alignment. You suddenly feel ‘disconnected’ from the source of our being.
This feeling is especially triggered when one feels overwhelmed by life’s responsibilities, or the constant demands of others. And once we slip into this negative state of mind, many deeply buried, unpleasant memories tend to emerge in our consciousness in the form of haunting ‘flashbacks.’
I recently heard a friend referring to this experience as cognitive distortion. We can so easily begin to catastrophize, and expect the ‘other shoe to drop,’ once our anxiety level becomes this amplified. The mind is powerful and under these circumstances we tend to indulge in a lot of ‘what if’ thinking. The mind races, imagining all the worst case scenarios as potential outcomes.
This kind of catastrophic thinking typically takes our mind into two directions. Firstly, it puts a truly negative spin on the current situation. And secondly, it causes us to anticipate all the many, many things that could possibly go wrong in the future.
Polarized thinking is another problem for some of us. This thought pattern is when we only see things in terms of right or wrong, and this can lead to setting unachievable standards for ourselves and others, as well as send our stress levels through the roof! Polarized thinking crops up when we find ourselves basing our hopes and expectations on, for example, getting that dream job, impressing other people, finding our soulmate, becoming famous, and so on.
Aligning Yourself To Attract Lasting Love
When I do readings, many people usually want to talk about their love life. This is a valid and meaningful subject for all of us. Having a meaningful, harmonious and loving relationship is a wonderful part of the human experience. However, it is also true that a relationship often does not solve many of the problems and issues we have as a single person.
It is important to understand that we carry our consciousness with us everywhere we go. If you assume that you will find a relationship that will ‘make you happy,’ then you are deeply mistaken.
Yes, we may draw temporary relational circumstances that allow us to feel a little better about ourselves, but without a firm structure of personal happiness, we will eventually engage in self-sabotaging behaviors that cause the relationship to become unsustainable.
Again, we will carry our consciousness with us everywhere that we go. If we are discontent being single, we will find a way to be discontent in the relationship also.
Every relationship is the product of co-creation. Too often when a relationship does not work out, it is easy to point to the other person and say, “You did this to me.” And it makes sense, because if the original assumption is that the other person will ‘make us happy,’ then we will also make the automatic assumption that the other person can ‘make us miserable.’
Feeling Like You’re Not Good Enough
Sometimes we put our heart and soul into a relationship, only to get cheated on, or dumped for no reason. The main question that usually comes to mind in this type of situation is, “Why am I not good enough?”
Take a moment and consider the relationships of relatives and friends, who have gone through similar a experience. Some people are able to jump right up and move forward, while others sit and wallow in self-doubt and self-loathing – sometimes for years.
Working with many people over the years, one of the biggest eye openers for me has been that it is typically the partner who is left behind, and then struggles to move forward, who compromised the most in the relationship. They usually gave, and gave, and gave, and didn’t receive much in return. Their needs always took a backseat in the relationship. They would sacrifice more and more, until there was nothing left for them to give, while their partner did not change and simply kept using and abusing them.
If you constantly compromise on what you really want from a relationship, the union will at some point simply disintegrate. The other person is never going to magically become someone different. That person you hoped they would become, after you moved in, or after you gave a little more, or after you married them, or after you had a child with them…never shows up. What you see in someone from the start, is simply who they are.
Things Will Always Fall Into Place
During a recent interview for a paranormal podcast, I was asked what the wisest advice or guidance was that my spirit guide or angel had ever given me. The answer was easy, “Fear not, things will always fall into place.”
I was rushing around one day, hurried, feeling like there was just too much I had to do. I was feeling stressed out and anxious. All I wished for was to arrive at a place of stillness and contentment. But I forget at times that we can find stillness and inner peace right now, in any given moment. It is all about perspective and knowing that things change constantly, and our circumstances may very soon be different.
Sometimes we can become trapped in a way of thinking that isn’t good for us. We get into a rut and we feel there is no way out, or that things won’t ever change. But they always do in the end. That is the thing: knowing that circumstances always change and energy is always shifting.
Instead of being sucked into this kind of negative thought pattern, try the following strategies instead.
Keep a positive attitude. Become the energy you wish to attract. Like attracts like.
Visualize to materialize. I like to do this literally right on the cusp of sleep. It really makes things manifest for me easily this way for the next day, or days ahead.
In The Grace Of Divine Time
Several bald eagles flew in above me this morning, as I drove along a peaceful country road, which I travel several times a week. For the past month or so, I’ve been seeing these eagles roost in one particular area along my route.
I usually see them poised in stillness upon the bare branches of the winter trees. But today, most of my sightings were of them circling in flight overhead, crossing back and forth over the road.
Sometimes they appeared to be pursuing their prey, other times leading their young, or simply enjoying the freedom of gliding through the sky beneath the beautiful morning sun. This occurred in several places along my journey, spanning a range of miles beyond the one roost and eagle family I’ve been witnessing.
Before, during, and after my way was bedazzled with this abundance of bald eagle beauty, my thoughts had been steeped in the topic of time. I sensed the eagles crossed my path to affirm and guide me in my contemplation of eternal time.
I also sensed they came as signs of a shift in my life. They were reminding me that what has been waiting in my life – energy that has been paused, stuck or still, resting, gathering, or incubating – is beginning to move on the horizon of visibility, and gradually gaining momentum.
When I arrived home, waiting in my mailbox was a pamphlet with the printed words: The Times Are Racing. Well, message received loud and clear! It’s time to express my appreciation of time.