Empath
Kindness Begins With Greater Self-Care
In a world where you can be anything, be kind. And kindness starts with being kind to yourself. When we are not kind to ourselves, we cannot be kind to others, and others will also be unkind to us! When we are not kind to ourselves we allow that type of behavior, be it from a spouse, sibling, friend, or relative.
So, kindness really starts with us. When we are kind to ourselves, the domino effect is that we are happier, healthier and more energized. When we are not carving out time for self-care, we are not being kind to ourselves, and cannot truly be kind to others.
Sometimes people can be unkind not even realizing it. How is that? Well, by playing the part of the victim, or acting like others are responsible for their happiness or contentment. They make others feel guilty, because they are putting their problems upon others, without realizing that it is often their own self-made issues.
Everyone has free will. We are ultimately where we choose to put ourselves. In the end no one else is to blame. Period.
A vital aspect of self-kindness is to employ healthy boundaries when others make us feel bad, because they are sad and unhappy. When we take better care of ourselves and come in alignment with our soul, body and mind, we can recognize this. You are not put upon this Earth to energetically fill up the cups of others. Learn to say no, and learn to stand up for yourself when others try to take advantage of you. This is one important way of being kind to yourself.
Coping With Anxiety In Times Of Uncertainty
There’s a lot of uncertainty in the world at the moment. The year 2020 is fast becoming a year of rapid and dramatic changes, like the world has not seen in a very long time. And we are only three months into it!
Some anxiety is a normal part of everyone’s life. Currently, the world news is full of reports producing fear and anxiety for many people. The key is how each individual will be handling the news.
Especially highly sensitive and empathic people, like myself, are having to deal with the intense daily energy of our current reality. As I’m writing this blog, I can feel my own anxious feelings surging about the current coronavirus pandemic.
There are many ways to relieve anxious feelings. Whatever produces the anxious feelings is either real, or imagined. Either way, it is each person’s reality that matters. If it is real to you, then that is your reality.
It is my belief we are all in this together, and we will get through it together. My own mind feels like it is on a roller coaster ride. My rational mind says we are doing all we can to control what’s going on, only to hear something an hour later that brings some new fear and anxiety.
Riding the wave of emotion, not denying our feelings, but also not wallowing in fear, helps us to have hope and find our inner strength. Having hope, and doing the best each of us possibly can to keep ourselves and our loved ones safe, is all we can do. Continue reading
Resentment And The Empath
Do you have a tendency to re-experience past injustices — real or perceived – while holding on to those old feelings of anger connected to them? If so, it means you are harboring some form of resentment. Empaths are especially prone to resentment, simply because we tap into emotions, past, present, and future, much more than most people.
Resentment forms when we become angry towards a person or situation, and then hold onto that anger. Some people harbor their resentments for many years, refusing to let go of it. Over time, whatever caused the original anger and initially led to the resentment, may be forgotten, but the resentment remains. It is like a still-smoldering ember left after the flames of a fire have subsided. The fire no longer rages, but the ember remains smoldering, and all it takes is a spark to set that fire raging again.
For the empath this rekindled ‘fire’ may be triggered every time they enter a new relationship. No harm has been done, yet, but the empath may be so on guard, and overly vigilant to any slight that resembles their past hurt, that it easily sets off another destructive blaze. They expect the worst and try to protect themselves against it, but in the process the thing they fear the most may re-emerge from the past, unhealed resentment.
For many empaths, lack of boundaries also lead to dashed expectations, typically followed by resentment. As an empath, you feel the heart of the person, and know that there is love. Once connected into the, “I know they love me,” their bad behavior can be overlooked. Continue reading
The Healing Power Of Movement
In my earliest years of life, I was severely shy, fearful of anyone I didn’t know, and acutely anxious of being separated from my mother. Any time we were out, or in the presence of others, I clung to her tightly and hid in silence behind her.
My mom soon received many recommendations to enroll me in dance lessons, to help me come out of my shell. She did, and I emerged. That was my first experience of the healing power of movement.
It continued into my ‘terribly turbulent’ teens, during which ballet became my only safe haven and sanctuary. In the ballet studio I could pour out every feeling. From the barre to the stage, every move was an opportunity to express what I needed to release, and to find the solace I needed.
A decade later, I found myself bedridden with chronic fatigue. Yet, visions of ballet spontaneously continued to dance across the screen of my mind’s eye – almost every moment of every day. I could feel the movement in my body, even though my body was unable to move. I know now it was a premonition of a life-changing return to dance, that ultimately remedied my illness and opened the way to reveal my gift of intuitive healing dance.
The power of movement is a beautiful thing. It can literally shift, shape, and reform energy. Energy itself comes in many forms and functions. Emotion, if you think about it, is energy in motion: e-motion. Everything, including you and I, are an emanation of energy from the Absolute Truth and Personality of Godhead.
How To Remain Grateful
In our daily life, it is all too easy to lose sight of the good things. We tend to get lost in negativity and stress, and we are also affected by the opinions and drama of those around us. At times it can be overwhelming.
In these moments we lose our sense of spiritual awareness and connection. I often speak with clients who experience exactly this. Indeed, it takes practice and re-commitment on a daily basis, in order to maintain our balance and inner peace, and remain true to our beliefs and mantras.
One of our own worst enemies is actually our false beliefs about ourselves. It is so easy to allow self-doubt to take over and let the negative thoughts creep in. Self-worth is a daily challenge for most, if not all of us.
To remain grounded and positive, I find that doing my daily gratitude list really helps get me back to that spiritual place within. When you are feeling low, or have had a stressful day, try keeping the following set of reminders posted as a list on your fridge, or somewhere you can see it daily. It will help change your focus.
What am I grateful for today? Who or what made my life easier or better today?
Did I allow negativity to affect me today? How can I remain grounded and avoid that next time?
Is there a better way I can deal with that difficult person or situation?
Feeling Like You’re Not Good Enough
Sometimes we put our heart and soul into a relationship, only to get cheated on, or dumped for no reason. The main question that usually comes to mind in this type of situation is, “Why am I not good enough?”
Take a moment and consider the relationships of relatives and friends, who have gone through similar a experience. Some people are able to jump right up and move forward, while others sit and wallow in self-doubt and self-loathing – sometimes for years.
Working with many people over the years, one of the biggest eye openers for me has been that it is typically the partner who is left behind, and then struggles to move forward, who compromised the most in the relationship. They usually gave, and gave, and gave, and didn’t receive much in return. Their needs always took a backseat in the relationship. They would sacrifice more and more, until there was nothing left for them to give, while their partner did not change and simply kept using and abusing them.
If you constantly compromise on what you really want from a relationship, the union will at some point simply disintegrate. The other person is never going to magically become someone different. That person you hoped they would become, after you moved in, or after you gave a little more, or after you married them, or after you had a child with them…never shows up. What you see in someone from the start, is simply who they are.