Abundance
Empowering Life Lessons From My Abusive Father
My father Jim had to grow up quickly in the tough pre-war years. He was the eldest of six children and he did not have an easy childhood, nor tolerant parents.
But life became even more challenging for Jim as he reached adulthood. My parents were married at the age of 21 and had three kids by 23, and another baby at 34.
Jim faced many challenges. As a result, to vent his frustration and process all the stress, he often took it out on those closest to him, namely his wife and children.
Let’s just say my father was not always the ideal husband and parent. It became so bad by the time I was an adult that he would do whatever he could to disrupt my life and my family in any way that you might imagine. The sad part was that he actually wanted to hurt us, as doing so gave him a bizarre sense of satisfaction and control over those closest to him.
I first became fully aware of my father’s desire to disempower his kids when I was about 22 years old. The year was 1982, and jobs were very hard to come by in the United Kingdom in those days. I had an office job but wanted something better. So, I decided to attend school for a year to learn shorthand and typing at the local technical college.
One day, I asked my dad if I could get a ride with him to college, because I had to sit an important exam at 2pm that day. He said I need not worry, as he would drop me off in plenty of time. But then he proceeded to make every excuse not to leave the house!
By quarter to two, I started to panic, as I could not possibly walk or catch a bus from my house to the college with so little time. At ten minutes to two, he finally agreed to take me to sit the exam, but then when we got in the car, he said he needed to go to the garage for gas. I looked at the fuel gauge and saw the car’s tank was full.
I suddenly realized he did not want me to sit the exam, as he did not want me to pass it and better myself and become more independent. Thankfully, his sabotage attempt failed, as I did pass the exam and went on to get a higher paying job.
How To Set Intentions That Manifest
Not long ago, I was going through some storage boxes and out fell a little scrap of paper. Curious, I picked it up, unfolded it and read the words I had written over a year earlier.
Now, I do not remember writing this little note, or saving it for that matter. But what I found grabbed my attention and pulled me immediately into the present moment.
It was a wish list. I had written things like, “do fulfilling work that feeds my soul,” and “a home with by the ocean, mountains and forest.” As I read through the items on this list, I realized that all of them had meanwhile become a reality in my life. I was amazed, and filled with gratitude!
Like most people, I also too often forget to take stock and honor moments of gratitude for the many blessings in my life.
While this wish list shook me back into gratitude, it also got me thinking about something else. The power of intention.
I always say that life is like driving – you need to look where you want your car to go. With the general busy-ness of life getting in the way, it can be challenging to stay focused on where we want to be versus where we are now.
I have found the following three strategies help to bring me back into full presence and awareness in the current moment, as well as setting intentions like a ‘map’ of where I want to be headed.
Envision The Broad Strokes
It is vital to understand that universal energies seek to help us manifest that which is our highest and best good. With this concept as our framework, we allow these energies to work within our lives in ways we may never have expected.
A Hopeful Spring Of New Beginnings
Spring is around the corner here in the Northern Hemisphere. Not only is the snow melting gradually, but Covid-19 is also slowly subsiding. Restaurants, gyms and theatres have finally reopened at full capacity, and it won’t be long now before mask mandates are at least partially lifted.
After two years of being ultra-cautious in one of the hardest hit pandemic hot-spots in Canada, this Spring will truly feel like a re-awakening into a brand new world for me!
It’s impossible not to feel a sense of joy and gratitude every year, as the days get longer and the weather loses its frigid edge, but this year’s season of reawakening seems especially blessed and hopeful.
However, against the backdrop of the horrors of war, adversity, and suffering experienced by people in other parts of the world, one must be particularly grateful. We are privileged to live in a place where we are safe, healthy, and comfortable.
Instead of complaining about trivial things, we must look around and count our blessings in our cozy corner of the world. We should choose to be happy for what we have, and appreciate the good things in our lives, no matter how small or simple they may seem.
Now is also an opportune time to regroup and reset our personal priorities, goals, and aspirations. For the first time in a long time we can now confidently begin to visualize our ideal future and take ambitious steps in the right direction. The Universe can only put it all together for us, once we set a clear intention for it.
It’s important to remember that visions boards, affirmations, prayer or visualizing are powerful tools in the manifesting process, but it takes a little more than to do the trick. We must also take some concrete steps and make some practical inroads, so that the Universe can conspire on our behalf to facilitate our success. Even the smallest of efforts will set things in motion.
Belief Is The Key To Manifesting
Is there something you want to happen, or something you desire, want or need? Put it out to the Universe as a request for what you want to happen in your life. But the key is to believe. If you do not believe it can happen for you, it most likely will not happen…because you are standing in the way of it happening.
Many people sabotage their own manifesting process because they do not believe they deserve to be happy. I have seen this happen so many times. But everyone deserves to be happy.
Things can change in your life. You just need to set the intention, take some practical steps to make it happen, and most of all trust the process and believe.
When you are in alignment with the abundance of the Universe and you trust that it will provide for you always, then it all starts to fall into place. Manifesting begins and ends with believing in the laws of the Universe.
For manifesting to truly work one must have the sincere, unquestioning faith of a child. Young children have the uncanny ability to wholeheartedly believe even the most impossible things!
If we had just a little more of the open-minded belief of children, our lives would be so much happier and more fulfilled. It is not about being naïve, but about being open and accepting.
If we do not trust the Universe to provide for us, we tend to repeat the same mistakes time and again. Instead of setting a clear intention for what they want to be different or better in their life, many people we just keep on manifesting the same old energy repeatedly.
For example, they break up with someone who they felt was not right for them, but then they start dating someone else who is exactly the same. They continue in the same pattern and repeat the cycle of continuous heartbreak, over and over – instead of saying I want to be with someone who treats me better, and work towards that.
Renewed Inspiration Through Visualization
Despite the psychic readings we receive, the inspirational books we read, and the seminars we attend, we often tend to find ourselves back at the drawing board for inspiration. Why? I guess we need to inspire ourselves on an ongoing basis.
Clients who visit me for private consultations say they leave me feeling serene and all fired up to take on the world. Many of them also come back every now and again for what one high-powered lady calls her “fix”.
And me? Well, I need to inspire myself on a regular basis, in order to be of any help to anybody else!
Visualization is an excellent way to ‘recycle’ some past moments of inspiration. We can make time in our busy worlds and synthesize all the knowledge and experiences we have gathered, in order to visualize what we want.
By remembering and tapping into that feeling we had when we saw that moving film, attended that life-changing workshop or read that inspirational book, we can apply that intense feeling from a previous experience to what we want to manifest now.
An attitude of gratitude goes a long way too when it comes to manifesting our desires. Thank spirit for all the positives in your life, and you will be surprised to notice the amount you have already manifested and have to be grateful for.
Another helpful technique is to make a visualization board by drawing pictures from your memories, or from magazines, to make a collage which will be your personal vision board. Place it where you spend most of your time. I was given a ‘recipe’ for creating long ago by a colleague.
Ingredients
1. Recognize the higher self (that you are spirit)
2. Decisiveness
3. Acoustics
4. Imagination and creativity
5. Evaluation
6. Approval
7. Experience
Ordinary people believe only in the possible. Extraordinary people visualize not what is possible or probable, but rather what is impossible. And by visualizing the impossible, they begin to see it as possible ~ Cherie Carter-Scott
Method
1. Recognize that you are spirit and therefore have the capacity to create.
2. Be certain of exactly what you wish to create. Think of how it is going to affect you.
3. Announce it verbally.
4. Visualize it.
5. Decide whether you are pleased with it.
6. Give consent for it to materialize.
7. Step back and admire and enjoy what you have created.
Note: Be sure not to create anything which creates imbalance in your life.
Saying ‘I’m Sorry’
I had a conversation not too long ago with friends about the increasing breakdown in civility, courtesy, and decency in society. The lack of good manners creates isolation, loneliness and a feeling of not being cared for.
I have noticed these days when you tell others you are not doing well or going through a hard time, the other person often doesn’t seem to know how to respond. You’re lucky if you get at least a blank stare! This is not how grew up. There were a few ‘odd’ people in the old days who seemed stoic or lacking in empathy – but they stuck out! Now it seems to be the norm.
I saw a post on social media recently stating that we should stop saying ‘I’m sorry’ for everything. Instead, for example, if you are late, one should say ‘thank you for waiting for me.’ I feel this ill-conceived idea is a reflection of the social issues we face as a society today.
If someone was late and didn’t say sorry (which happens often to me) I would be even more annoyed. Words are powerful. A sincere apology (and forgiveness) has tremendous power.
The idea that no apology is needed when you are late is very narcissistic in my opinion. Life is not always about us, or what suits us, because in this world what is best for others is in fact also what is best for us. Selfish, cruel, mean people end up being miserable. Generous, well-mannered, kind-hearted people are blessed.
The concept here is apparently that by offering a sincere apology you are being submissive or bowing down to someone else by degrading yourself. Well, that is simply bizarre. An apology is a way of honoring the other person and keeping your dignity?
We all make mistakes. I am usually on time, but I have been late a few times in my life. Honor and dignity are not objects of pride; they are objects of humility, compassion, and respect for others.
What Are Your Snapshots For The Year Ahead?
What does the future have in store for me? It’s a valid question after all the upheaval of life during the past two years. In fact this question is on so many minds at present, including my own.
The last two years have been difficult for most, if not all of us. We have all suffered loss, grief, stress, frustration, and anxiety. Regardless of what your personal views and beliefs may be regarding this difficult time in the world, what does matter is where you are mentally and spiritually at this moment.
This weekend may be a good time to recenter, align and ground your energy. Take some time out from all the mayhem today and do some meditation, prayer, visualization, or breath-work. Allow God, Source, Spirit, the Universe to fill you with positive energy, light and blessings, and release the negative thoughts and anxieties you may be holding on to.
Also, take some time to calmly contemplate and make a list of your goals, wishes, desires and dreams for the year ahead. Or better yet, create a vision board, manifesting box, or journal. Cut out pictures from old magazines, copy positive affirmations, and collect some trinkets to place on a board, in a box, or in a scrapbook.
Once it is complete, place your board, box or book somewhere in your home or office where you can look at it often. Take a little time every day to focus on it and ask yourself what each goal, wish or intention you have added to it truly means to you.
I have a brochure of new camera with a special lens on my vision board for this year. When I ask myself what it represents to me, I remind myself that my new dream camera sees the beauty in our world through a magical lens. It will bring out the brightest of colors. and the most beautiful scenery. It will also capture the vitality and magnificence of all my spirit totems (mostly eagles, red tail hawk, owls, sand hill cranes).